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Heart Song

by TwilightMuse


The moors they used to sing,

And the highlands answered back.

Such happiness their song would bring,

To our campfires 'round the loch.

~

The moors would lull in mournful tones,

And the highlands wind hummed all the day.

But the truest sound came from men's bones,

When their feet did meet the ground.

~

The moors called out,

And the highlands cried,

For an answer without doubt.

And so we gathered at the river's bank.

~

T'was here the river dance was born,

For the song of the moors and the highlands.

And it rings forever like a horn.

When our feet connect to Earth.

~

And I pray you too will hear it,

As the years go rolling on.

This dance is the perfect fit,

To the heart song of our home!


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16 Reviews


Points: 416
Reviews: 16

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Wed Nov 11, 2015 1:41 am
Enflicted wrote a review...



I've been reading poems all day, but I've have yet to see such personification as yours.
I love that you put so many earth elements and it really shines through. I really liked the tone of this passage it gave real feeling.
I really think you should keep writing and finding new things to be your muse. It seems like you enjoy it because your work is very lively. I love that about this piece.




TwilightMuse says...


Thanks so much! :)



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Points: 687
Reviews: 4

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Fri Nov 06, 2015 6:30 pm
IDEK wrote a review...



This is a good poem, and mostly flows well. I like the rhythm, as well as your word choice. However, there are a few lines that sound like they have to many syllables.

And the higlands wind hummed all the day.

You don't have to do it but maybe this?:

And highlands wind hummed all the day.

Also:

And I pray you too will hear it,

As the years go rolling on.

This dance is the perfect fit,

To the heart song of our home!

Could be:

And I shall pray you too will hear it,

while the years go rolling on.

A dance that is the perfect fit,

to the heart song of our home!

You only have one word spelled wrong that I saw, which is words highlands being higlands. Overall, good job! I really like this poem!




TwilightMuse says...


Thank you for the suggestions!




Maybe we're all just complex human beings with skewed perceptions of each other.
— Ventomology