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Heart Song

by TwilightMuse


The moors they used to sing,

And the highlands answered back.

Such happiness their song would bring,

To our campfires 'round the loch.

~

The moors would lull in mournful tones,

And the highlands wind hummed all the day.

But the truest sound came from men's bones,

When their feet did meet the ground.

~

The moors called out,

And the highlands cried,

For an answer without doubt.

And so we gathered at the river's bank.

~

T'was here the river dance was born,

For the song of the moors and the highlands.

And it rings forever like a horn.

When our feet connect to Earth.

~

And I pray you too will hear it,

As the years go rolling on.

This dance is the perfect fit,

To the heart song of our home!


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16 Reviews


Points: 416
Reviews: 16

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Wed Nov 11, 2015 1:41 am
Enflicted wrote a review...



I've been reading poems all day, but I've have yet to see such personification as yours.
I love that you put so many earth elements and it really shines through. I really liked the tone of this passage it gave real feeling.
I really think you should keep writing and finding new things to be your muse. It seems like you enjoy it because your work is very lively. I love that about this piece.




TwilightMuse says...


Thanks so much! :)



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Points: 687
Reviews: 4

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Fri Nov 06, 2015 6:30 pm
IDEK wrote a review...



This is a good poem, and mostly flows well. I like the rhythm, as well as your word choice. However, there are a few lines that sound like they have to many syllables.

And the higlands wind hummed all the day.

You don't have to do it but maybe this?:

And highlands wind hummed all the day.

Also:

And I pray you too will hear it,

As the years go rolling on.

This dance is the perfect fit,

To the heart song of our home!

Could be:

And I shall pray you too will hear it,

while the years go rolling on.

A dance that is the perfect fit,

to the heart song of our home!

You only have one word spelled wrong that I saw, which is words highlands being higlands. Overall, good job! I really like this poem!




TwilightMuse says...


Thank you for the suggestions!




See the world. It's more fantastic than any dream made or paid for in factories. Ask for no guarantees, ask for no security.
— Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451