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Cover art for WoS Ch8 - Frozen Mountain

WoS Ch8 - Frozen Mountain

by Tikaya

Published July 28, 2026

12+

In ! World of Souls

The story so far: Over the course of the past few chapters, five humans have reached the Digital World and each found a Spirit of the Legendary Warriors. These ancient artifacts allow them to turn into digimon, commanding one of the ten elements. Recently, the group has suffered their first defeat against the Legendary Warrior of Earth--who used a new and more powerful Beast Spirit in addition to his Human Spirit. They fled to a friendly village where the youngest team member Tommy has realized, he's fallen behind the four older children, and no one trusts resident loner Kouji to stick around. Now, it's the next morning and their continuing their journey to the Forest Terminal.

◀ Previous

Chapter 8 - Frozen Mountain


-Zoe-

The next morning began with ominous wind blowing through the village. Neither Kouji nor Kei (both insufferable morning people) were worried about the weather. Instead, they managed to agree on something for once and were more than eager to get to the Forest Terminal already.

A long trek through what the locals called “the Meadows” awaited us. But first, we had to get down the cliff.

To that end, we descended some stairs that were the nightmare of any safety regulations officer. I yawned, my free hand against my mouth. The other I had sacrificed for the greater good and let Kei cling to it. I wasn’t entirely sure if the blood flow would ever recover.

The sun was a no-show, hiding behind layers of wild clouds. That made the grove at the bottom of the cliff a real tripping hazard. We stumbled through the trees and finally made it to the Meadows beyond.

Even in the weak morning light, the sheer endlessness of the plain was obvious. I’d never seen such a flat land before! No hills, barely any trees or bushes! Just ankle-high grass, as far as the eye could see!

Barely ten minutes later, and I retracted that first impression. Morning brought a slight increase in brightness. It made the looming silhouette of a mountain range stand out stark against the featureless grassland. The jagged peaks dominated the left-side of the horizon, their white snow dull in the stormy weather.

“And that would be Frozen Mountain,” JP informed us graciously. “If we’ll keep it to our left, we’ll make it to the Land of Forests in no time!”

“We know!” Kei said, and it could have easily sounded snappish. We’d all been present when the village digimon told us about it. But while I was still shaking off the early morning-grumpiness and dared anyone to try and talk to me, Kei was wide-awake. She managed to make her words sound good-natured.

Well, good for her. I yawned again, then shivered. The wind had a biting chill. Kei gave the dark sky a calculating look.

“Hopefully we’ll pass the Meadows before it starts pouring…” she said. I strained my eyes but the promised forest at the end of the Meadows eluded me.

“Well, I hope this isn’t going to be a thunderstorm!” JP said self-importantly, eyes on the ominously rushing clouds. He looked to me and backpedalled: “I mean, just, because, you know. It’s dangerous... there’s no shelter and... ah...”, while I only stared, bewildered.

Come a short lunch break, during which I heard Kouji speak his first few words today, and I cursed them all for jinxing us. We’d just stowed everything away when the sky opened up to greet us with the downpour of the century.

“Urgh! I can’t believe this!” Kei decried to the heavens. The rain didn’t care and continued to pour unperturbed.

“Don’t tell me you didn’t expect that,” Kouji complained. “Just hand out the umbrellas before someone gets a cold.”

My face brightened when I remembered yesterday’s purchases and I made eager grabby hands at her.

Kei handed me a bright red one, bodily protecting the contents of her rucksack. “We only got three, so someone’s gotta share.”

I put the umbrella up above our heads to help in that endeavour, and turned to the others. “Your move, boys.”

JP shot a look at Kouji and then groaned. “Come on, Tommy.” He purposefully reached for the blue one, leaving Kouji to enjoy solitude under a screaming yellow monstrosity.

Kouji literally cared as much about that as the pouring rain did and just put it up without a word. Well not true. He actually said, “Thanks”, and for a second, I expected lightning to strike just to accommodate that rarity. No lightning came, for which I was really thankful. JP was right: getting caught out here in a thunderstorm was way too dangerous!

It might have taken me less than a minute to put up a barrier between us and the uncaring rain, but already my vest and shirt were thoroughly soaked. I handed Kei the umbrella’s handle so I could wring out my hat. “Mammamia! That rain’s like a torrent!”

Kei sniffed and gave the flood outside our little safe haven a disgruntled look. “Tell me about it.”

She struggled with handling the umbrella and pulling the rucksack up at the same time, so I simply took the latter from her. “You know what? My turn to carry this thing.”

Her mood brightened and she sent me a grateful grin.

In no time at all, the boring plain turned into a delight of slippery mush. More than once, Kei or I had to grab each other for support to avoid testing if the grass was really as wet and unpleasant as it looked. JP wasn’t quite so lucky, and after the third time of making closer acquaintance with the ground (“Yes, it is as wet and unpleasant as it looks, thank you very much!”), Tommy scurried over to Kouji’s yellow fortress of solitude. Both had much more success with staying on their feet, but even Kouji had his face scrunched up in concentration. Mud and loose grass stained all our legs.

JP started to lag behind, so Kei adjusted our pace to match up with him. I felt a bit bad for him. He hadn’t been too hot about this walking idea from the beginning and the treacherous ground didn’t serve to improve his mood. I half-expected him to digivolve on principle.

Since I already noticed how much of a positive effect I had on him, I turned around for some encouraging words—and froze.

“Zoe?” Kei asked when I stopped in my tracks.

“...Are you seeing this?” I said, voice a bit faint.

She turned around, “What—THE HELL?!”, and saw my problem.

There should have been the high cliff with the village behind us, and if I cared, I would have seen it no problem. It was just that the huge wall of water steadily gaining on us was a much more prominent sight that drew all my attention! In an endless cascade, it rushed towards us, the rain drowning out the noise of its rapid approach. The tidal wave of grey water was at least five meters high, and a strange feeling seized me. This was dangerous! In my chest, my heart picked up speed as I readied myself to do... something. Run?

Kei was a bit more proactive about her utter shock. “Where does all that water come from?!” she shrieked, knuckles white against the umbrella’s handle. Well, just a tad more proactive, I amended.

At least once the others also turned around, she’d received an answer. JP said with just as much alarm, “It’s the lake! With all the rain, the dam must have broken!”

The dam from Gargoylemon’s village! I knew it had been flimsy! The Meadows were so flat all the excess water had nowhere to go... and now it was coming for us! To make matters worse, the rain still hadn’t gone anywhere and was pouring away!

“We need to run!” I said, going with my first idea. I turned around to see how far away the forest was and still couldn’t see it. We’d never make it there in time!

 “To the mountain!” Kei decided, already starting into that direction. “It’s high enough that we should be safe from the water!” And close enough that we had a chance of reaching it before we were swept away.

“Are you kidding me? We’ll never make it!” Kouji shouted, his face even paler than usual and an onset of panic in his voice. He quickly adjusted his features into carefully constructed neutrality. I wouldn’t blame him for freaking out; I was doing it right now!

“Well, what do you suggest?” Kei asked, somehow not seeing the obvious.

“We fly!” JP screeched. Oh boy, when JP panicked, he panicked! He already had the data circle around his hand, and I was quick to follow suit.

Kei shot another look at the watery doom approaching and gave in to peer-pressure.

 

Execute Spirit Digivolve to...

...Beetlemon!

...Kazemon!

...Anumon!

 

Anumon hissed like a vampire when she stepped out of the transformation and glared at the uncaring rain clouds that refused to stop emptying themselves on us. The water rose from her heated armour as quickly cooling steam.

“Well Kouji, how is it?” Beetlemon asked, standing tall, proud, and not the least bit worried anymore. He held out an armoured hand to the other boy.

Kouji for his part had calmed down again now that death by flood wasn’t as imminent anymore. His face was a mask of impassivity when he let Beetlemon lift him up.

Anumon moved towards Tommy to do the same with him, but if her reaction to the flood-like rain was any indication, this wouldn’t end well. We remembered how she’d fared against the Candlemon river and proceeded to snatch Tommy right from under her nose. We weren't going to take any chances with our grounded teammates.

“You okay?” We asked him since he seemed smaller than usual.

Tommy caught himself and turned to look at Us. “That was scary, but now we’re fine right?”

“Hmhm,” We agreed and rose from the ground. The water was nearly upon us.

Anumon stood there for a few seconds longer, creating her own little steam clouds, and looked quite miserable. She shook her feather wings, but that didn’t really help against all this water.

“I hate this,” she declared, then followed us into the sky.

Below us, the water claimed the spot we’d been standing at in all its muddy goodness. Phew, good thing most of us could fly!

“Okay, can anyone see the forest?” Anumon asked now that we all had a higher vantage point.

We strained against the rain. Through the aggressive droplets, the Meadows opened to Us. Far, far in the distance, a dull green line signalled the beginnings of the Land of Forests. “There it is!” We shouted, pleased.

“Looks like at least four more hours of flying!” Beetlemon said, drawing up next to us.

“I don’t know about you, but I can’t stay transformed for that long!” Anumon raised her arm against the downpour to no avail.

The water below us was spreading at a rapid pace. There wouldn’t be any place to land for the foreseeable future.

Kouji sighed. “Then the mountain is our only option.”

What the heck did he even have to complain about? We felt Our temper rise. Without Beetlemon, he’d be swimming right now!

Tommy shifted in Our arms and asked, “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” We grumbled. “I’m just a bit annoyed.”

“Well, I’m glad I’m not down there anymore!” he said. “I can’t swim!”

That caused Us to hold him a tad tighter. As We thought: not taking any chances here!

With that cheerful thought, we made our way over to the towering mountain.

 

Large and imposing, the sheer walls rose before us. Rivers of water ran down the dark stone, wind whipping it into a frenzy. An aura of foreboding surrounded it, amplified in the air, when the temperature took a sudden drop that made the cold downpour seem warm by comparison. Our breath came out in white puffs.

Below, grass stubbornly clung to the steep slopes, swinging in the rushing, turbulent flood that had claimed the Meadows. It felt like the entire plain was submerged in foaming, dirty water.

Anumon had dropped the transformation about five minutes ago. Thankfully with ample warning so that Beetlemon could catch Kei before she introduced herself to the muddy water. We felt... pity. Kei looked so exhausted, as if the rain had sapped all her energy. Beetlemon on the other hand didn’t seem to have any trouble carrying two kids instead of one. We admitted that We were jealous. After twenty minutes, We really started to feel Tommy’s weight!

For a while, the sloshing and gurgling of the flood was all We could hear. But as We flew along the mountain range, higher and higher, all sounds began to recede. Soon it was just the storm, still blasting us, and the whir of Beetlemon’s wings.

“It’s so cold!” We said, shaking. Tommy too was unusually cold in Our hands. He peered at Us curiously, healthy and undisturbed.

Around Us, the rain slowly mixed with snowflakes. The sheer mountain walls turned into gentler slopes, and we followed them further inwards. Soon, it filled with fluffy whiteness. It was also getting colder, and We irritably brushed ice from Our skin when the water on Us froze.

“How long can you keep that up?” Keisaki asked from her position on Beetlemon’s left side, her eyes tightly shut. She had her arms slung around his neck, intent on not letting go until she was on solid ground again.

“I was hoping I could fly us at least to the peak or a part of the mountain where reaching the other side on foot isn’t too hard!” he shouted back over the howling wind.

We decided to do something about the storm. With a bit of concentration, We took control of the wind in Our vicinity and created a sphere of influence around Us. It protected Our group from the unforgiving storm. We couldn’t do anything about the snowflakes breaching Our barrier, but no one could say that Kazemon would let her allies suffer through uncooperative wind!

“Thanks, Kazemon!” Beetlemon said.

We looked ahead. The mountain stretched out high in front of us. We weren’t sure anymore where the top would be from our position. We had seen several peaks along the mountain range. The thick snowfall made it impossible to see. We started to think it had been a mistake to fly up here, especially when persistent ice made every wing beat a nightmare. It was so cold...

Our wings gave out and We shrieked. We barely had time to twist around to cushion Tommy’s fall.

Fractal code surrounded Us, and I was myself again. It took me a moment to get up and then I turned around to say: “I’m so sorry, Tommy!”

“It’s fine,” the boy said and pushed himself to his feet. He rubbed his fingers and water drops fell to the ground.

I patted my skirt and shirt to get rid of the snow clinging to the woven fabric. If I’d felt cold as Kazemon I didn’t fare any better now. Why exactly was I so completely underdressed for this occasion? Something about spring in the human world? Spring? What a joke! Even the stockings weren’t helping! All I felt was the freezing cold...

I wrapped my arms around myself. With Kazemon gone, the freezing wind battered at us again. It didn’t even matter that there were high mountains between us and the Meadows. At least, a look to the sky showed the clouds clearing in colour. If I wasn’t too far off, the storm was beginning to subside.

Beetlemon put down Kei and Kouji a few meters ahead of us and we quickly caught up to them while JP let go of the Spirit as well.

Hm... Kei was the element of fire... She sure was giving off a nice field of heat and I stepped closer to her. Against an environment this cold, I was grasping at what little warmth there was!

The temperature also really bothered the others. Kouji’s permanently sour look reached a new low, and JP and Kei had their hands under their armpits. Well, Tommy was remarkably fine. He looked ahead intently, oblivious to our plight. If what Gargoylemon said was true and we did have souls corresponding to our Spirits’ element, then it made sense that Tommy wasn’t affected. I thought some more and realized it might just be a general trait of owning the Spirit of Ice.

“Now what?” I asked.

While Kei said sheepishly, “I don’t know. I mean, I just said to go to the mountain to escape the water... I didn’t think you would try to carry us over it...”, I brought the heavy backpack around to look inside.

My eyes lit up. Bingo! We had two blankets that I eagerly pulled out. I had to fight against the loads of supplies and books we’d also stuffed inside.

“Zoe, good thinking!” Keisaki said when she turned around and saw me wrestle with our future source of warmth and protection.

I sent her a cheerful grin and threw one over the two of us. The effect was immediate. Wonderful, wonderful heat spread from our shoulders downwards. Maybe there was a way to survive the trek after all!

After I was ensured of my continued existence as a human being and in no danger of turning into an icicle, I looked around to hand the second blanket to someone. I ignored JP’s pleading look in favour of asking, “Tommy, do you need a blanket?”

“It’s okay,” the kid said dismissively. He wasn’t shivering and didn’t look like he just said it to prove a point. Maybe he really wasn’t affected.

I shrugged and looked at Kouji and JP. Yeah, they definitely needed this more.

They each traded a look that said a lot about how displeased they were with the prospect of sharing a blanket. But the freezing cold was a greater problem than their dislike for each other, so Kouji stepped towards me and took the wool cover from me. He wasn’t as tall as JP, so he just handed him the other end of the rough fabric, before wrapping it around his shoulders. JP followed suit, grumbling to himself.

Meanwhile, the snow had stopped falling and gave us a free view of the beautiful mountain range and untouched nature around us. If only it hadn’t been so cold, I would have been ready to appreciate it! Dark patches of rock wore a white snow cover like hats, frozen caves and crags had icicles hanging from above and something that looked like a trail was leading up a snowy slope. We couldn’t see the summit from here which quickly demoralized the entire team.

“Maybe we should go back?” JP offered.

I looked at the way we had flown in; it sure looked similar to the way that was before us. We managed to cover a lot of ground while flying so it felt wrong to waste it.

“Or what do you think?” he added.

“We aren’t going through the mines—that’s for sure!” Keisaki deadpanned, but I wasn’t sure if everyone got the reference. “Let’s go ahead. If things get too tough, we can always digivolve.”

It’s a bit unfair to call her out on that, but things would get too tough, and we would digivolve... It just wouldn’t be enough...

-JP-

Not for the first time, JP wished that he’d had the chance to plan his wardrobe before going on this adventure. His jumpsuit was fine for the workshop, but it didn’t help him survive on an ice-cold mountain. Now it put him into the predicament that he was currently in. Zoe and Kei huddled together under their blanket, as even the alleged fire soul struggled with the freezing temperature. Then again, neither she nor Zoe were wearing appropriate clothes (Not that he was complaining!).

JP shuddered against the cold. He didn’t have it as easy as the girls since Kouji seemed determined to stay as far away from him as possible, cold be damned. So JP had to somehow keep up with the aspiring athlete just to keep a hold on the rough blanket. What made everything worse was that they were continuing upwards, and his feet were killing him. Actually, it wasn’t just his feet; it was more like his entire body. He’d never been much into sports (with his figure, no surprise and no fun), and even a short trek like this would have made him boycott the venture if he’d had any choice. Already, Kouji had to half-drag him up the path, frustration rolling off the other boy in waves. Come to think of it, they did have a choice. The mountain hadn’t looked this insurmountable when they flew in!

At first, Kouji and now Kei had to constantly remind JP that stopping for a break wasn’t a good idea when it was this cold. That they needed to reach the other side of the mountain as fast as possible if they didn’t want to spend the night here. JP understood all that, but he wished his much-underused muscles would also understand. So all he could do was complain about it and wish the other two people capable of flying would be any good at braving the freezing atmosphere. That was a neat thought, so he said that out loud.

“Can you stop your whining for just one second?” Kei said, unimpressed. She usually didn’t pull this kind of voice off. Obviously, she’d taken pointers from Kouji, who now gritted his teeth.

The long-haired boy took a moment to stare back at JP over the brownish wool. “You’d only waste energy if you transform now. What if there’s an emergency?”

JP rolled his eyes. Hypocrite. He was wasting way more energy struggling to climb over the mountain than carrying someone who was light as a feather in Beetlemon’s strong hands. Kouji had to waste just as much energy simply by dragging him along.

But JP could recognize when he was alone against the world, so he crossed his arm. “I just wanted to remind you that digivolving is always an option, sheesh!” He had no apology in mind. He’d just remind them again in say... three minutes.

One and a half minutes later, they reached a break in the constant slope upwards. For a while, a soft sloshing had complemented the mountain’s majestic silence. Now they’d reached the top of the hill and saw why. In front of them, a small valley opened up with a half-frozen river curving around it. With the recent snowfall it was hard to be sure, but it looked like no living thing had set foot in this region before.

JP mentioned how easy it would be to fly over the river to the other side of the valley. That way, they’d also skip over the mountainous area beyond the river. This sensible idea was shot down once again. Ugh.

At least, thoughts of his powerful digimon form always cheered him up. It helped in escaping the terrible atmosphere around him. JP might have gotten his Spirit last, but it made up for it by being super badass! Sure, it was weird that he didn’t get the Spirits of Metal, especially with what Thunder said about him as a person. Could he trust Gargoylemon? Was there really something as abstract as a soul? And were humans also connected to the ten elements that were so important in the Digital World?

Junpei frowned. He always had a lot of ideas and theories to explain the world around him, but he rarely talked about them. Mainly because no one was interested in what he thought. He never really had any friends, and he might as well have been alone whenever he was home. So what good did him creativity?

Yet, this strange world that no human had entered before gave him a unique opportunity! For once, JP’s always buzzing thoughts did something useful and benefited the group! Always thinking, always looking for the missing pieces of the puzzle. Zoe might be the one with the book, but he had set his mind on figuring the world out. He—

More on instinct than anything else, Junpei lunged forward. He slammed into Kouji, and they both went down into the snow. Behind them, something sharp and probably deadly struck the ice and showered them with cold particles. Thank you, Spirit intuition! he thought frantically as he hit the ground, billowing blanket fabric going everywhere. Just a few days ago, he’d be squashed by... whatever this was.

He turned around to look, Kouji ‘helpfully’ tugging on their blanket. They had been following the half-frozen river, and JP’s valiant manoeuvre barely saved him from an attack that came straight out of the cold depths. While Kouji applied himself to removing the wool covers and getting to his feet, JP froze with some form of delayed shock. He stared, wide-eyed, at the massive, light brown stinger reaching out of the water. Its bladed end now stuck in the ice only a meter away from him!

“What is that thing?!” he shrieked. Shouted. He shouted, not shrieked like a little kid.

The submerged creature tried valiantly to remove its stuck appendage, and its flailing sent sharp ice flying everywhere. JP scrambled to his feet, stumbling over the fabric pooled on the icy ground. Finally, he managed the few steps back to be level with his friends again.

That had been way too close! Who would have thought something this big was hiding in the river? His heartbeat was still elevated after the brush with death.

“I don’t know!” Kei shouted. “But something tells me we’re about to find out!”

JP anxiously surveyed the river. The water churned when, with a final tuck, the creature was able to free itself from the clutches of the ice. With a gigantic wave, the sea monster erupted out of the river. It bore a striking resemblance to a scorpion. Blades lined its sides and appendages, and in its blue eyes sat a dull, dispassionate expression.

It was a testament to their experiences in the Digital World that their first reaction to this development was Kouji shouting, “What do you want from us?!”

The monster had no intelligible answer. Instead, it made a clicking, rushing sound with its mandibles. Then it lashed out with its tail again.

There was only one correct reaction.

 

Execute Spirit Digivolve to...

...Anumon!

...Lobomon!

...Beetlemon!

...Kumamon!

...Kazemon!

 

Beetlemon took flight only slightly behind the much more agile Kazemon. Together with Anumon, they managed to surround the light brown scorpion from the air, while Kumamon and Lobomon took point on solid ground.

“What is that thing?” Beetlemon asked again, this time cool and collected. Transforming into an invincible Spirit Warrior always boosted his confidence.

“It doesn’t look intelligent at all. That’s the first digimon that doesn’t talk!” Anumon pointed out.

The scorpion made to attack with its tail again, and Kazemon’s pink storm was unable to blow the stinger off course. It didn’t matter since the target had been Lobomon, who easily dodged and slashed across the chitin shell with his sword. Therein lay the first surprise, because the laser blades didn’t cause so much as a scratch on the hardened surface. Last time, staring at a seemingly untouchable opponent had earned Lobomon a fast trip to becoming Kouji again. So this time, the Light Warrior managed to step out of reach of the follow up attack.

“It doesn’t look like it wants to have a nice little chat with us,” Anumon said. “Let’s see if some purification will calm it down. I’ll aim for the eyes! Pyro Shot!

The scorpion lowered some sort of eyestalk from its head and blocked the burning wood. She groaned in annoyance.

Beetlemon’s own attempt at stopping the creature from slicing up Kumamon proved only partially successful. When he wrapped his arms around the swinging stinger, he went in with the clear goal of wrenching it out of the way. Instead, he gravely underestimated the strength of the scorpion, and the flailing appendage began dragging him along. He was forced to let go, not willing to make closer acquaintance with the snowdrifts along the riverside.

Beetlemon caught himself in the air and cringed when Kumamon wasn’t fast enough to get out of the way. One slash of the stinger and the white bear was nursing a nasty cut on the arm not wielding the blaster. Only Kazemon swooping in and carrying him away saved him from another swing of the blade. Lobomon’s attempt at engaging the bladed stinger was equally unsuccessful, and the scorpion pushed him into the snow.

This wasn’t supposed to happen! Why was this thing so strong?! What the hell? Beetlemon knew they weren’t fighting one of the other Legendary Warriors. He’d taken the time to study all the remaining Spirit Warriors in the new book, so why were they having so much trouble with a lone enemy? Beetlemon was the strongest out of all their current fighters, yet he couldn’t match this Beast digimon at all!

“Okay, nothing fazes this thing, we need a new plan.” Anumon appeared next to him.

She couldn’t stay long, since the scorpion sent out some sort of shockwave with the two blades it had instead of arms. There was enough time to avoid the attack, but Beetlemon was uncomfortably reminded of Snimon which he’d been able to defeat with ease.

“And now it has a ranged attack, that’s wonderful,” Anumon deadpanned, but her blue eyes were calculating.

They spread out to avoid another shock wave, and he asked, “Thought of anything yet?”

“It can’t be covered in this hard shell everywhere; it has to have a weak spot,” she answered, again aiming another arrow at the eyes, but either the scorpion was extremely watchful, or the lowering of the eye shield was a reflex.

Beetlemon had an idea of his own. Even if it was covered in armour, that only protected it from sharp and pointy things. It was fast, but with Lobomon drawing the attention of the dangerous stinger, Beetlemon’s path was clear. In his hands, electricity began to form, and he made a beeline for the monster. “Let me rattle your brain, Thor’s Hammer!” and he brought down both sparking fists on its head.

That finally got a reaction, and it gave that strange not-howl again and began splashing around in the water. Either in confusion or pain.

“New plan!” Anumon announced. “Give Beetlemon cover so he can continue hitting this thing until it yields!”

It spoke a lot about Lobomon realizing his own ineffectiveness that he acknowledged the plan. He’d already been quite good at drawing attention to himself, but it was Kumamon who provided Beetlemon with his next opportunity to strike. The bear warrior was a lot more effective at robbing the scorpion of its sight when the ice balls of his Blizzard Blaster burst around its eye shield and caused the monster to flinch back. In one swoop, Beetlemon was above its head again and brought down the lightning gathered in his horn. “Proton Slam! He flew upwards again to evade the flailing digimon. Ha, if it were up to him, he could do this all day!

“Kumamon, no!”

Kazemon’s shout came out of nowhere. Beetlemon looked down to see that Kumamon had stepped in too close to the scorpion to guarantee a successful attack. He couldn’t dodge the wild swing of the tail end. Not even the Warrior of the Wind was fast enough to catch him before he was hurled into the river.

The white bear crashed through the river’s ice cover and vanished below in a cascade of water. No!

Anumon looked like she very dearly wanted to go after him but remembered in time that fire and water didn’t mix well. Instead, things went from bad to worse. The scorpion decided just this moment that it had enough of the sparking beetle pummelling it and also retreated back into the river.

“Come back here!” Beetlemon shouted furiously. He wanted to send a parting shot at the fleeing figure, but with Kumamon in the river, he didn’t want to risk electrocuting him. Instead, Lobomon jumped right in, and he knew it wasn’t for finishing off the enemy. Kouji was worried about Tommy. The kid or his digimon form hadn’t reappeared.

Anumon was holding her head in her hands, staring into the water with wide eyes, muttering, “This is all my fault, this is all my fault.”

Kazemon slapped her lightly on the arm and waited until she had her full attention. “Stop saying that! There was nothing you could have done!” Her voice sounded a bit off though, as if she were blaming herself for letting Kumamon get swept away.

Suddenly, bubbles indicated the return of their teammate, and the three flyers hovered over the spot with hopes high. But the water parted and revealed that Lobomon was alone. He was gasping for breath and had his eyes closed in frustration. Beetlemon’s heart sank, and he looked up and down the river again. Kumamon was just as white as the snow and ice drifting along the current. Maybe he’d been dragged further down?

“No way! We’re not going to lose Tommy here!” Anumon said, and there was a flurry of data. Keisaki dropped into the ice-cold river. After the initial shocked gasp at the cold, she turned to Lobomon. “Keep looking!”

“What are you doing?!” the wolf warrior demanded, but she was already below the surface. He groaned in frustration but followed suit. Nobody wanted to acknowledge that their efforts might be futile. Tommy had to be somewhere!

-Tommy-

The moment Kumamon hit the water, his control over the transformation slipped and he was Tommy again.

Oh no, oh no, oh no! He desperately spread his arms, even as a vicious current dragged him further down. He didn’t know how to swim!

Tommy opened his eyes, holding his breath. He was drifting further and further away from the banks. How was he supposed to get back there?!

He waved his arms, trying to get back to the surface, but that just caused him to cringe in pain. The scorpion had cut his arm and that still hurt! To make matters worse, he felt movement behind him and struggled to turn around.

In the water, everything was blurry, but he could still see the large shadow of the scorpion following him! In a reflex, he tried to gasp but only got a mouth full of water in return and now his chest was burning. He wanted to bring his hands to his face to keep more air from escaping when someone grabbed his wrist and started dragging him away from the monster. By that point, everything inside him hurt and black spots appeared around his vision.

Another spike of panic went through him when the surface drifted even further away. Where were they going? He wanted to protest but just... couldn’t.

In a puff of bubbles, all his remaining air left him, and everything went black.

 

When Tommy woke up, he was in a tunnel. Around him, the icy walls were see-through and showed the flowing river. That meant he was still below the surface so why could he breathe...?

“Hey, yo!” a voice sounded.

Tommy startled and turned his head. There stood his rescuer! His heart sank since it wasn’t one of his friends. It was a light blue kappa with a yellow duck bill and a brown turtle shell. It had webbed hands, a yellow flippers and... He did a double-take. And it had dreadlocks. A spinning disk was on top of the orange hair. What kind of digimon was that?

Since Tommy just stared, still reeling from his horrible time in the river, the creature stepped forwards and snapped its fingers in front of his face.

“C’mon say something. Are you alright?”

Tommy sat back and rubbed a hand across his injured arm. “I... I think so. Who are you? Did you save me?”

The tunnel was empty besides him and the kappa digimon. Behind him, the ice tunnel ended in a pool of water. It’s probably where they had entered this place. In front of him was only more of tunnel, but at least it was going upward.

The digimon grinned and struck a pose. “My name is Gwappamon, yeah!” Then he continued in a very bombastic and enthusiastic voice, “I’m your adventurer for hire, your hero for every occasion! Of course I saved you! So... who are you? And why were you trying to fight the guardian?” He stopped in his tracks and fixed Tommy with a suspicious look. “Don’t tell me you’re looking for the treasure too?”

“I’m Tomoki… Tommy,” he said, shifting away from the digimon. “I don’t want any treasure; I just want to get back to my friends!”

With that, Tommy rushed to his feet. The others had to be somewhere! He didn’t want to be here, all alone! The river beyond the ice walls rushed by, clear and deep. If he pressed his nose against the wall, he could even see the surface. It was covered in thick ice. Nothing to see. Ice blocks drifted along the current. Any of them could hide the huge scorpion.

No… Tomoki couldn’t… Kouji and the others couldn’t be gone! Tommy needed to find them! He spun around toward the slope and nearly slipped on the ice. His arm pulsed with hurt. Water stood in his eyes. But Gwappamon, who peered at him curiously, was the only living thing around.

“Your friends?” he asked. “Oh are you lost or something?”

“Yes!” Tommy shouted. “I need to get back outside! Why did you bring me here?! They’re still out there!”

What if they needed his help against the scorpion?

“I brought you here because Scorpiomon can’t fit through the tunnel entrance,” the digimon said, frowning, but a little less suspicious. He pointed at the water pool. “I saw you struggling in the river and thought you needed a hand, yo!”

Tommy was now standing at the edge of the water, fidgeting. If only he could swim! Then he could’ve jumped inside and gone back the way he came from!

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” Gwappamon said easily. “Scorpiomon kinda collapsed the entrance when it couldn’t get in. Uh... sorry about that. I mean your friends. They’re probably dead now, so be glad I at least saved you!”

Tommy froze up. The tears spilled over. “No... That can’t be! How can you say that?!” He furiously rubbed at his eyes, but the tears kept coming.

“Hey, it’s, uhm. Oh no, please don’t cry!” Gwappamon waddled over to him and hesitated only a moment to envelop him in a hug. His rubber skin was warm in the icy tunnel. He let Tommy cry for a long time, patting his head and muttering, “All in a day’s work. Taking care of the kids, no problem. I’m totally equipped for this.”

Tommy was lost. He didn’t know where he was, he didn’t know whether the tunnel led anywhere, or if he was stuck here and he didn’t know what to do!

“What am I going to do now?” he sobbed into Gwappamon’s shoulder.

“Uhm… that depends,” the digimon said, also a little emotional. “I mean why did you even come here on your own?” He said some more things, how anyone could leave Tommy alone in the first place.

“We were just passing through and then there was that rain…” Tommy looked up at Gwappamon’s face. “The entire meadow got flooded! That’s why we’re here.”

“Right… And you wandered too close to the temple and triggered Scorpiomon,” Gwappamon said. “I’ve been trying to deactivate it for a week now, but it’s just too watchful!”

“You know that scorpion?” Tommy asked, leaning back.

Gwappamon released him with a pat on his shoulders. “You could say that, yeah! Scorpiomon is a guardian construct. They’re usually protecting something valuable and that’s why I’m here!”

“Huh?” Tommy asked. “What does that mean? A construct?”

 “Yeah! A construct! Just a thing made of fractal code, yo. I’ve heard about them before, but Scorpiomon is the first real one I’ve seen!” Gwappamon made a grand gesture with both hands. “If I can get past it, I might find what it protects!”

“But we don’t even care about that! Why did it attack us?” Tommy wailed, ready to cry again.

“Constructs aren’t real digimon. They don’t think. You came too close to its treasure and therefore it—” Gwappamon began, but he trailed off when Tommy sobbed again. He switched tactics and said with forced cheerfulness, “Uh... we... You know what? If your friends left the area, I’m sure they managed to escape Scorpiomon! If we follow the tunnel we get back to the surface and then we can look for them, how’s that?”

Tommy nodded furiously. They had been winning against Scorpiomon! “My friends are strong!”

“Awesome,” Gwappamon said, still unconvinced, but ready to take anything as long as it would stop him from crying. “Wanna go up then?”

Tommy nodded and faced the slope with determination. He would’ve liked to run all the way to the surface, but he was hurt, exhausted and with his wet clothes clinging to him, the cold started to have an effect on him now.

While they were walking forward, he couldn’t help but ask, “So why are you trying to get Scorpiomon’s treasure?”

“I told you, I’m an adventurer, yeah!” Gwappamon said and again struck a pose.

That didn’t really explain anything, but his enthusiasm easily won Tommy over. “And what do adventurers do?”

“Well, the same thing I’m doing now! Exploring unknown places and,” he grinned, “occasionally rescuing people from dangerous monsters! That’s what it’s like to be a hero! Is there a monster to slay? A treasure to find? A child to rescue? I’m the guy for that!”

For a moment, Tommy was able to push the dire situation completely out of his mind and he asked excitedly, “What kind of treasure are you looking for?” There was something inherently cool about going out on your own where no one else dares to go, rescuing people like a real hero and solving mysteries to find treasure.

“I’m not entirely sure about the treasure, but according to legend, it’s something that gives tremendous power. No wonder they have a terrible guardian beast!” Gwappamon shrugged. “There has to be a way around it!”

He talked a bit more about what he tried so far and what motivated him to do this quest. Gwappamon was already a hero, and he’d done lots of cool stuff like exploring a plain full of lightning before coming here! He had so much to say, that Tommy could forget all about why he was stuck here, hanging on to every word.

Then, Gwappamon paused his description of a battle against an ice lion. His eyes were wide, and so Tommy got nervous too.

“Okay, I know you’re still hurt, and I don’t want you to freak out, but...” Gwappamon said with a nervous undertone.

“But what?” he asked. He followed Gwappamon’s gaze to the ice wall to their right.

It gave them the perfect view on the river. It wasn’t so empty anymore. Around the ice blocks flowed Scorpiomon, looking worse for the wear.

“Shiii…. Shoot! We triggered it!” Gwappamon said, grabbing Tommy’s hand.

Tommy was frozen on the spot under Scorpiomon’s lifeless eyes. That’s what Gwappamon meant about it being a construct. There was no emotion there. Just the desire to protect its area. Oh no that could only mean that they’ve come into its protected area! It had seen him!

They were no match for the construct, especially now when he still couldn’t digivolve!

“Let’s get outta here! Fast!” Gwappamon shouted. He started to run, pulling Tommy along.

Not a second later, ice splintered. The river rushed in and filled the tunnel with a terrifying gurgle that had Tommy quicken his steps.

◀ Previous

Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
Tikaya
Comment
Stickied · Tikaya commented Comment · Jul 15

Can you even imagine that this and the next chapter used to be merged? Maybe that's is why this one feels more like setup? =D
Also constructs mentioned! LMS VII rejoices XD

Questions!

Spoiler

1) What's your initial reaction to the chapter?
2) What were your favourite parts and why?
3) What were your least favourite parts and why?
4) Are there any characters you especially liked in this chapter?
5) Or some you especially didn't like?
6) Did anything in this chapter surprise you?
7) Why do you think they go over the mountain?
8 ) How did you feel about the fight scene from JP’s POV?
9) What do you think about the fact that Tommy is separated from the group?
10) What’s your opinion on...
a) ...the group/ group dynamic?
b) ...Tommy?
c) ...Zoe?
d) ...JP?
e) ...Kei?
f) ...Kouji?
g) ...Gwappamon?
h) ...Scorpiomon?
11) How do you feel about constructs?
12) Were any parts confusing, unconvincing or unclear?
13) Did some parts feel underdeveloped or rushed?
14) Did all the dialogue feel natural?
15) On a scale of 1 to 10, how much did you enjoy that chapter?
16) On a scale of 1 to 10, how eager are you to read the next chapter?
17) Do you have any predictions for where the story will go next?

User avatar
TheRebel2007
Review
TheRebel2007 wrote a review Review · 8h ago

Image

Good morning, Tika! Today, we chickens and I, the Chicken commander representing all of chickendom, for our longest dream of clearing the Green Room and dethroning the Golden Goose to finally sit on it ourselves, bring to you-

The Chicken Sandwich Template



Top Bun: First impressions

It's been a while since I read the previous chapter, but if I remember correctly, I do remember them going to chill after finding Tommy who got lost. It's kinda ironic that Tommy got lost again. I have a really bad headache for no reason, but I did enjoy reading the chapter, even though I couldn't enjoy the fight as much as I wanted to -- but it's my fault not yours, so it's fine. Also, I really like Gwappamon. I might be wrong but I think Gwappamon was one of the guides for the Chosen Ones (or some similar character, I don't remember exactly) from the first chapter, so it's kinda cool to see em, even though they are introduced late. Also, lore drop about Digimon Constructs is cool.

Slightly Wilted Lettuce: Critiques

Coming to this second arc, I do feel like the text at some points was not as fine-tuned as the writing in the previous chapters. For example,

His arm pulsed with hurt.


Unless you want to convey that Tommy is a child who can't even process pain properly, this line sounds wrong.

In a reflex, he tried to gasp but only got a mouth full of water in return and now his chest was burning.


Since it's in past tense, 'now' doesn't really suit here even though it's kinda correct. A better sentence would be: "Reflexively, he tried to gasp but only got a mouth full of water and his chest started burning."

Also, there were a few times where Kazemon forgot to refer to itself and others in capitalised pronouns.

Again, this is kinda technical stuff so it might not matter much, it's up to you to decide whether you'd implement them or not.

Crispy Chicken: Favorite details

Now, I really loved the whole sequence with Zoe and JP my GOAT (I am gonna forgive him for being happy that the girls' dresses were wet, because he's a teenager and he harmed no one by just thinking). The lore drop about Constructs and the fight was cool. Zoe was a little too aggressive with her jokes this time, but it was fun to read so I don't mind.

Ketchup: Suggestions for improvement

Except for the technical stuff, there's not much to say. The chapter was a bit long, but that doesn't really matter (mostly because I am the last person who should talk about that lol).

Bottom Bun: Closing thoughts

I am gonna answer your questions in this one:

1) What's your initial reaction to the chapter?

Answered in Top Bun.

2) What were your favourite parts and why?

Answered in Crispy Chicken.

3) What were your least favourite parts and why?

Answered in Slightly Wilted Lettuce.

4) Are there any characters you especially liked in this chapter?

I really loved Gwappamon and Scorpiomon, especially the lore drop about Constructs from the former about the latter. I remember Scorpiomon being an especially powerful Digimon from childhood, for some reason (don't ask me why I remember that). So, that was cool. Gwappamon's enthusiasm won we over to be honest, and like I have said like 3 times already, the lore drop was cool.

5) Or some you especially didn't like?

Not really, everyone was in-character. Zoe was a bit more loose in the beginning there and JP was a bit more loose morally, but that's fine.

6) Did anything in this chapter surprise you?

Not exactly, because it was typical shounen stuff. I didn't expect Scorpiomon but it's just part of the shenaniganery. And, once again, the lore drop about Constructs was cool, but it's still expected.

7) Why do you think they go over the mountain?

Huh, I didn't really think about that, let me reread that portion.

“To the mountain!” Kei decided, already starting into that direction. “It’s high enough that we should be safe from the water!” And close enough that we had a chance of reaching it before we were swept away.


...I am stupid, I forgot that she said that. That's a satisfactory reason.

8) How did you feel about the fight scene from JP’s POV?

3 words: It was cool.

9) What do you think about the fact that Tommy is separated from the group?

I hope Tommy getting lost doesn't end up being a recurring trope (not that I mind), but since the next chapter is literally titled "Losing Tommy", I doubt that for some reason. Though, to be honest, I didn't expect Tommy to be the one to be separated/fall prey to Scorpiomon's attacks since Kumamon is more of a Tank compared to others (except Beetlemon, I guess). But oh well, such did the wheel of fortune desire and so I shall accept it -- because it's combat and things happen in combat.

10) What’s your opinion on...

a) ...the group/ group dynamic?

Everyone was in character and everyone tried their best to compliment each other. I will bat an eye at Kouji's nonchalance after losing Tommy, because it's in character and I do feel like Kouji is concerned no matter what kind of face they make.

b) ...Tommy?
c) ...Zoe?
d) ...JP?
e) ...Kei?
f) ...Kouji?
g) ...Gwappamon?
h) ...Scorpiomon?


I don't really have much to say about the individual characters because I believe I have yapped about almost all of them. Additionally, Kei's concern for Tommy was a small touching moment in the middle of chaos, and we all love Zoe.

11) How do you feel about constructs?

Once again, cool lore drop. I would love to see more of them in the future. Maybe they have to do a bit more with the Beast faction of the Digimon world? Who knows?

12) Were any parts confusing, unconvincing or unclear?

13) Did some parts feel underdeveloped or rushed?


Not really, to both of these questions.

14) Did all the dialogue feel natural?

I would say that Zoe's and Kazemon's narrations were a bit loose, but the dialogues flowed naturally.

15) On a scale of 1 to 10, how much did you enjoy that chapter?

I would say a solid 8/10.

16) On a scale of 1 to 10, how eager are you to read the next chapter?

Whereever heading over right now in spite of headache falls in that scale. 😁

17) Do you have any predictions for where the story will go next?

Tommy will go on a side quest and the team will try to search for him? I am not sure to be honest since this arc feels a bit less tropey compared to the previous one for some reason.


Anyway...

We hope this was helpful! Farewell now, we've got a Review Day to win!!




Bok bok bok buGAWK!!
Chickens

User avatar
AlexWrites
Review
AlexWrites wrote a review Review · 15h ago

Hey Tikaa, Alex is back to review WoS. Review Day is upon us and while the chickens may be behind right now, I haven't really started for the day ;)
You know how this goes, so let's get started. I'll share some of my quoted reactions and then move to the questions ~

Kouji nor Kei (both insufferable morning people)


Okay but why does Zoe being a night person make so much sense, and these two being early risers too XD

I wasn’t entirely sure if the blood flow would ever recover.


Characters hating on Kei and Zoe being snarky, I like it!

Even in the weak morning light, the sheer endlessness of the plain was obvious.


Love the descriptive imagery with a poetic touch, we need more of these! H

Barely ten minutes later, and I retracted that first impression.


Why does this sound wierd, I feel like the phrasing is a bit wrong here. I think it should've been 'minutes had passed' or you need to omit the and. I'm sure you know better than me though, so just look into it.

“Hopefully we’ll pass the Meadows before it starts pouring…” she said.


So she cares about the weather now, ayy. Classic on Kei to not things through. Kouji, I'm sure, wanted to get ahead nevertheless.

“We only got three, so someone’s gotta share.”


Why do I have a feeling it's going to be JP and Tommy? But only three, hmm. I feel like the girls could fit in the other one, while Kouji gets his own separate one of course.

leaving Kouji to enjoy solitude under a screaming yellow monstrosity.


Oh my god, Kouji must've hated that XD. First that unflattering costume in the restaurant and now this, our poor cool boy!

He actually said, “Thanks”, and for a second, I expected lightning to strike just to accommodate that rarity.


Clever writing here, Tikaa!

JP was right: getting caught out here in a thunderstorm was way too dangerous!


I'm liking this duo so much, rather unexpected but still beautiful =)

“You know what? My turn to carry this thing.”


Zoe's being really good, considering she's half asleep now. Plus, I might've been feeling a teensy bit sad about Kei having to carry it all the time. Whatever you say, the girls really get along well, unlike the guys. I wonder who'll Zoe favor if it comes down to Kei and JP. The latter is bound to be right but her relationship with the former is definitely stronger.

Tommy scurried over to Kouji’s yellow fortress of solitude.


My poor sweet boy, to care so much for the little one only to be deserted by him </3

I felt a bit bad for him.


I believe she genuinely relates to him for not wanting to do this in the first place, I'm glad at least someone sees him.

JP said with just as much alarm, “It’s the lake! With all the rain, the dam must have broken!”


Always the one with an answer, I'm not surprised. =D Try beating that, Kouji!

“Well, what do you suggest?” Kei asked, somehow not seeing the obvious.

“We fly!” JP screeched.


I was wondering why that wasn't a suggested course until now lol.

Anumon moved towards Tommy to do the same with him


Well I appreciate the sentiment but I second Kazemon's thinking. Anumon is not the best person to entrust with a kid, given her panic and history with kids. Plus she's a fire element Digimon Spirit so I'm sure dealing with the rain is enough work. But Beetlemon lifting Kouji, oh that would hurt the latter's pride quite a bit XD. But it's the logical choice, the girls aren't strong enough.

“Looks like at least four more hours of flying!” Beetlemon said, drawing up next to us.


So that's why they choose the mountain over the forest, I was skeptic at first but that's perfectly reasonable.

Without Beetlemon, he’d be swimming right now!


True dat!

Beetlemon on the other hand didn’t seem to have any trouble carrying two kids instead of one. We admitted that We were jealous. After twenty minutes, We really started to feel Tommy’s weight!


He's finally getting some recognition, yes!

We couldn’t do anything about the snowflakes breaching Our barrier, but no one could say that Kazemon would let her allies suffer through uncooperative wind!

“Thanks, Kazemon!” Beetlemon said.


Love the planned writing here! I like how you use their elemental powers so nicely. I'm also sure Beetlemon meant that thanks, carrying two people must be no easy feat!

We started to think it had been a mistake to fly up here, especially when persistent ice made every wing beat a nightmare. It was so cold...


Being an air elemental, I think it affects her more. Hope Beetlemon is not too burdened, if her Spirit caves in as well. He couldn't possibly fly them all!

Kei was the element of fire... She sure was giving off a nice field of heat and I stepped closer to her. Against an environment this cold, I was grasping at what little warmth there was!


I don't necessarily like Kei being used here though, she already used a lot of her warmth to survive in the rain. But it's not like I could blame Zoe for seeking warmth, just not caring that Kei's probably struggled more and needs the heat more desperately.

Well, Tommy was remarkably fine.


Makes sense, alas he couldn't help them before. He might be able to though, in navigating the mountains at least.

I ignored JP’s pleading look in favour of asking, “Tommy, do you need a blanket?”


I don't like ignoring the guys like that, but it was nice to ask the kid first. It'd even have been perfect, if Tommy wasn't an ice elemental who's not at all going to be affected, of course! Poor JP has earned that blanket.

He wasn’t as tall as JP


Half of the times I'm assuming Kouji as a jock given his strong personality, no wonder this got a laugh out of me XD.

“We aren’t going through the mines—that’s for sure!” Keisaki deadpanned, but I wasn’t sure if everyone got the reference.


Yeah, that joke was lost on me.

It’s a bit unfair to call her out on that, but things would get too tough, and we would digivolve... It just wouldn’t be enough...


I have been anticipating this said danger from the description of the later chapters, God I'm shaking.

Then again, neither she nor Zoe were wearing appropriate clothes (Not that he was complaining!).


Not the creepy JP, please ToT. I prefer disaster!

So all he could do was complain about it and wish the other two people capable of flying would be any good at braving the freezing atmosphere.


After he just lifted half the group from the flood, such treatment is so hard. I swear, he deserves better friends.

But JP could recognize when he was alone against the world


Knowing that myself, I really hope no one experiences that. JP really has it tougher than everyone, for sure. I get his argument too and it would've been flawless if not brushing off the possibility of a crisis when he'd need to digivolve and simply not have the energy to at that moment.

but he rarely talked about them


Oh, my heart goes out to him!

“It doesn’t look intelligent at all. That’s the first digimon that doesn’t talk!” Anumon pointed out.


That is actually a good observation, and coming from Anumon. Surprise, surprise!

“It can’t be covered in this hard shell everywhere; it has to have a weak spot,” she answered,


Actually very impressed. It's like Kazemon aimed for the crack with Woodman.

why were you trying to fight the guardian?


Ahh, so he must protect the river Digimon! It did attack first, but only because the heroes were dangerously close to potentially inflict damage.

I mean your friends. They’re probably dead now, so be glad I at least saved you!


Oh my that's a lot to deduce from just a hunch!

Constructs aren’t real digimon. They don’t think.


Makes sense, so like machines designed to protect and use whatever means necessary for it, I did think not talking was a bit weird but like always, you knew exactly what you were doing.

Now to the questions, I go ~

1) What's your initial reaction to the chapter?

It was nice to see the group back on their feet! The complex dynamics and tantrums felt more tolerable now that they were directed towards their purpose of reaching the Forest soon. I did think the later half was a little adrenaline filled, so the start was a good bridge between it and the much relaxed interlude. I like how you laid most of the ideas beforehand, like spotting the mountain beforehand and the umbrellas Zoe bought. Praiseworthy planning! The moment they took to air felt most rewarding, especially seeing JP save the day.

2) What were your favourite parts and why?

Beetlemon flying Kouji and then Anumon, for sure. Meanwhile, Kazemon was struggling with just Tommy and even admitted on being jealous of him! It just feels nice to see JP in his realm and not whine, which to be fair he has enough reasons to. It was also good to see Kazemon take responsibility of Tommy for once, and not push everything JP's way.

3) What were your least favourite parts and why?

Perhaps the bits around Gwappamon. I understand he's an LMS character of yours, so it's logical I don't know it so well. But he seems to be acting too cheerful to a character I'm not so familiar with. He's fun, don't get me wrong. But he just stepped in a stressed situation, and ruined the setup a little. All I'm saying is that he'll take getting used to.

4) Are there any characters you especially liked in this chapter?

JP and Zoe mostly! I love them for supporting each other unexpectedly, but they stood out individually as well here. JP really did carry most of them quite literally, even if he followed it with his fair share of whining later. Plus he was the most successful at fighting Scorpiomon. Zoe's idea for buying umbrellas worked out and it was wise of her to scoop up Tommy, given Anumon really caved in early. She also protected them from the wind and found blankets when everyone needed them, she did her part to make the trek easy.

5) Or some you especially didn't like?

Tommy was a little aloof in my opinion and also deserted JP like that. Even later, he doesn't contribute much against Scorpiomon. He just didn't do much this chapter. Kei and Kouji were mostly annoying, but going after Tommy gives them a free pass I guess. Plus Kei was the brain of the battle and suggested they go up the mountain, so bonus points for that!

6) Did anything in this chapter surprise you?

I knew Beetlemon was strong but I didn't anticipate he could lift two people! Tommy getting lost, for sure too and the entire treasure arc. It just came outta nowhere but I'm eager to see what you come up with.

7) Why do you think they go over the mountain?

I initially thought it was a decision made in urgency and panic, but it seems they were right to decide so! At least for the being..

8 ) How did you feel about the fight scene from JP’s POV?

He must've pretty heroic, huh? I think it feels nice to have someone else see the details and plan strategy for once, given he's constantly expected to fill those roles. Plus Lobomon was getting nowhere with Scorpiomon, I'm sure he enjoyed rubbing it in Kouji's face. With everyone covering him, pretty rewarding that he could land all those attack. He finally gets his hero moment this chapter, even though his standing doesn't improve much.

9) What do you think about the fact that Tommy is separated from the group?

It's horrible and a little repetitive with how he was just separated. But with the way everything is being set up, I know the plot needs it. I don't feel too strongly about it as long as you make something out of it.

10) What’s your opinion on...
a) ...the group/ group dynamic?


There are major flaws, but they seem to reunite in troubles. Maybe all this awful plot arc about to unfold would teach them to stick by each other? I'm not saying I love them right now, but there are times I've hated them more.

b) ...Tommy?

Mixed feelings honestly. He's too quiet for someone who just received an important monologue in the last chapter. Leaves JP, fails at the fight- the plot is progressing at the cost of his development, I'm afraid. I just hope it turns out to be worth it!

c) ...Zoe?

She's a little problematic, but resourceful and trying to help out. I just wish she wouldn't steal Kei's warmth when rain had soaked Anumon, or ignore JP reaching out for the blanket but I guess those could be excused. Carrying the books though and keeping Tommy extra close and fall on herself to save are all acts that suggest she's really trying though.

d) ...JP?

He's doing well mostly, except for the excessive whining. But given how much he does for the group with carrying two of them and fighting Scorpiomon, I would say it could be a lot worse. Just don't be creepy, bro.

e) ...Kei?

Acting like an entitled brat as always, but she's the worst I guess. She really observers the opponent remarkably well in their fight and holds her own flying for half the journey, impressive enough for her element at a disadvantage.

f) ...Kouji?

He was the worst in this chapter, except for diving in after Tommy. But that too, Anumon couldn't at first only because of her element's limitation. He did fairly well at the battle though, keeping Scorpiomon distracted the best out everyone when his sword didn't work against the chitin. But other than that, he barely contributed today.

g) ...Gwappamon?

He seems interesting and has a lot going on. I'm not too fond of him now, but I'm sure he'll grow on me if you play your cards right.

h) ...Scorpiomon?

Including an emotionless beast was good move! No more need for motivations, makes things diverse, and a strong opponent than most- are all noteworthy perks.

11) How do you feel about constructs?

Quite good actually! Takes the need for dialogue, is a whole lot of intense action that I love - keep it coming. I'm curious to see how many more of these you'll end up writing. They might even not share some of the Digimon's known weaknesses, which make things quite interesting to learn when faced in combat.

12) Were any parts confusing, unconvincing or unclear?

I just had a hard time envisioning the mountain and where Tommy is stuck but you explained them thoroughly enough and I struggle with scenes already, so I'm sure this one was on me.

I do think Anumon planning the attack on Scorpiomon was a little unearned though, I would've preferred to see you building up to it more.

13) Did some parts feel underdeveloped or rushed?

Not necessarily, I can't think of anything.

14) Did all the dialogue feel natural?

Perfectly so, even fitting for our characters. Great job in that aspect, keeping the quality so consistent!

15) On a scale of 1 to 10, how much did you enjoy that chapter?

8.5, the descriptions of landscapes just aren't my favorite thing to read. JP was exceptional though and I loved the heroes working together against crisis, even if barely and going back to their ways as soon as it was everted.

16) On a scale of 1 to 10, how eager are you to read the next chapter?

8, I don't want to read what bad thing happens to Tommy ToT
Poor boy just can't catch a break.

17) Do you have any predictions for where the story will go next?

Scorpiomon catches Tommy and that superpower Spirit uses him as a vessel for destruction?

Anyways, that's all I have for now! See you next chapter, Tikaa ~

Love, Alex



If you can't describe what you are doing as a process, you don't know what you're doing.
— W. Edwards Deming