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Chapter 7 The Hall Of Discussion

by ThekingsAdvisor


The door opened widely as Edward walked in. The hall was filled with white mist, the only things visible were the thirteen high seats that pierced through the fog. Among the thirteen seats, one was positioned in the middle, taller than the rest. A huge pure white banner was placed at the center of the column, marking its median. Edward's grip on the Holder tightened as he started to float towards the middle seat.

Slowly, the silhouettes of the nobles became clearer as Edward floated to the top. Upon noticing Edward's presence, they jolted up as if waking from a deep slumber. "We greet the light of the Empire, we greet Edward Magnus," they chanted, causing the hall to tremble. A feeling of pride burned within Edward as he sat in the thirteenth seat. Even after Edward sat, the nobles remained standing. Noticing this, Edward said,

"Commence."

The nobles slowly sat in their seats. The mist obscured their faces, allowing only their silhouettes to be seen. Edward, who sat on the highest seat, was also unable to see their faces. This didn't scare or make him nervous, as he had seen their faces before his father's death. Edward noticed one of the nobles' bodies shaking furiously; his fatty silhouette looked like a pig trembling in the cold. Edward tried to remember his name but only recalled his number, so he said,

"Eleventh, it seems that the cold wind of the north is still affecting you even after the conquest."

Startled, Eleven looked in Edward's direction.

"Oh, your radiant one, I thank you for worrying about my health, but this illness of mine was inherited in the south, not in the north," he said weakly.

Deep inside, Edward felt a spark of anger ignite. It was small but noticeable. The authority and power made Edward a prideful mortal. He suppressed that anger, trying his best not to let the spark turn into a great flame.

Unbeknownst to Edward, his body emitted a very slight ray of light visible only to the nobles. They felt the air becoming thicker and their hearts being roped with thorns.

“Oh, the radiant one, I wish to say something,” boomed the voice of the tenth noble from the corner of the room, his face obscured by fog. Edward’s body responded instinctively.

“Speak your mind, Darek.” Though Edward’s voice came out authoritative, inside he was experiencing inner turmoil. Darek the Holy was his father's best friend and his master. He was the one who had taught him the ways of authority and power, and also the one Edward suspected to be behind his father's illness. He still remembered Darek’s face when his father was diagnosed with the illness—it was unlike anyone else's. While everyone else's emotions went wild, his remained icy cold.

“The Eclipse has destroyed the second branch of the two branches of the Holy Order that lay in the north. Now it seems they might be preparing for another attack,” Darek reported. Upon hearing the name of the Eclipse, Edward's face changed. His body began to radiate a beaming light, making him look like a star.

His face became complex with emotions of anger and sadness. Anger for the destruction they had caused all over the north—for the children they killed, the elderly they slaughtered, and the young boys and girls who suffered unimaginable wounds. Sadness for the situation of the Eclipse, as he and the nobles were aware of their suffering.

“Oh, the radiant one, even though the Eclipse are a group of miserable people who have been essentially exiled from their peers, it still does not give them the right to inflict pain on the people,” Darek said, as if reading Edward's mind. Edward noticed the subtle tone of humor that Darek tried to hide. Anger grew in Edward’s heart. He controlled his rage, clenched his fist, and as he did, his nails pierced his delicate white skin, making it bleed hot red blood that dyed his whole palm red.

Before Edward could speak, the main door leading to the hall of discussion was knocked.

“Enter,” Edward commanded.

The door swung wide open. A man in full golden armor, bearing a sun emblem on his chest, entered.

“Oh, I greet the radiant one. We have received urgent news from the north,” the man said, clenching his fist and placing it over his chest in respect.

“Speak,” Edward's voice boomed across the hall.

The man in golden armor unclenched his fist and straightened his posture.

“News came from the north about a boy, a demonic boy who seems to wield some kind of magic. He killed the village elder when he was about to be witch-burned,” he reported. Every word caused the nobles' faces to pale, their expressions a mix of confusion and fear.

A Holder, Edward thought. His face had paled even more than the nobles', but it was hard to tell since his face was naturally pale. The nobles began to whisper to each other like village wives who had just learned some new and spicy gossip.

“Send word to the envoy. Tell—no, order him to capture that demonic boy. If he is set free, who knows what destruction he might cause,” Edward's voice echoed through the hall.

“As you command,” the man in golden armor responded.

“Our discussion will end here.” After giving his order, Edward hastily returned to his room.


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Tue Jun 25, 2024 6:53 pm
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RavenAkuma wrote a review...



Hello Again, My Friend!

It's me, Raven, and I'd like to review the next chapter in this great story using my Familiar method! Let's dive in, shall we? Heh heh heh...

What The Black Eyes See...

I loved being able to see how Edward communicates with other figures of authority in this world. It seems like he has a decent amount of pride, typical for a noble, and is also wary of cowardice and corruption among the ranks. The suspicious clues and traits about Derek were an awesome way to expand on the former Light's death and Edward's drastic action to get the throne, and the sudden interruption by the Envoy raised the stakes and made room for Matthew's side of the story to finally converge with this side. Let's get into the details though.

Where The Dagger Points...

I didn't really have any recommendations to make for this one! Good writing job ~

Why The Grin Widened...

It was fascinating to read how Edward handled the meeting. The way he clutched the tobacco pipe implied, perhaps, a sense of insecurity, uneasiness, maybe even anger. Yet as he's welcomed by the nobles around him...

A feeling of pride burned within Edward as he sat in the thirteenth seat.


He can at least take pride in his position and title. Intriguing contrast of responses, and again, I wonder where it will lead him...

Deep inside, Edward felt a spark of anger ignite. It was small but noticeable. The authority and power made Edward a prideful mortal. He suppressed that anger, trying his best not to let the spark turn into a great flame.


Oh no, that angry trait is coming back. But I feel like if he were to react out here, there would be a lot of trouble. And just by narrating it this way, it makes me wonder how long he'll be able to restrain himself...

Darek the Holy was his father's best friend and his master. He was the one who had taught him the ways of authority and power, and also the one Edward suspected to be behind his father's illness. He still remembered Darek’s face when his father was diagnosed with the illness—it was unlike anyone else's.


Now this sounds like an interesting character! At first it sounds like this could be taken in a positive way, a friend of the former Light who taught Edward about leadership, but with that note about Edward's suspicion and his response to the death...That is pretty strange to say the least. And especially since you used cold terms like 'power' and 'authority' to describe what he taught, maybe there is a sinister element to his history...

His face became complex with emotions of anger and sadness. Anger for the destruction they had caused all over the north—for the children they killed, the elderly they slaughtered, and the young boys and girls who suffered unimaginable wounds. Sadness for the situation of the Eclipse, as he and the nobles were aware of their suffering.


Ooo, this sounds like a deep and convoluted problem in the world already. Innocents killed and suffering all throughout the North because of the Eclipse, yet the Eclipse themselves are a pitiable type. It makes me wonder if any of this has to do with Allena and her side of the story, and of course, by extension, Matthew and his fate.

Edward noticed the subtle tone of humor that Darek tried to hide.


Alright, now I'm definitely suspicious of this guy, if -hidden or not- this is the reaction.

“News came from the north about a boy, a demonic boy who seems to wield some kind of magic. He killed the village elder when he was about to be witch-burned,” he reported.


Well, that answered one of my questions haha. Wow! Matthew is being reported to the Light himself now! Whether this is good or bad, and how much either way, I don't know what to think -though seeing the tensions and troubles among this group, I lean toward bad.

“Send word to the envoy. Tell—no, order him to capture that demonic boy. If he is set free, who knows what destruction he might cause,” Edward's voice echoed through the hall.


Ooo, I wonder what he meant by "Holder" and likewise, what he will do once Matthew is captured (if he is). Seeing the reaction among these powerful people, it really makes it feel like Matthew's significance is even greater than we first thought!

Our Mad Thoughts...

Conclusions, personal rating, and a quick goodbye.

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ThekingsAdvisor says...


I love your reviews man, really they are a treat to read. I recommend getting your self ready it's going to be one hell of a ride.



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Mon Jun 24, 2024 8:14 pm
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EllieMae wrote a review...



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Helllooooo, I hope you are having an amazing day (: My name is Ellie and I am going to leave you a quick review on this lovely piece of yours. Let's jump right into the review!

Slowly, the silhouettes of the nobles became clearer as Edward floated to the top. Upon noticing Edward's presence, they jolted up as if waking from a deep slumber. "We greet the light of the Empire, we greet Edward Magnus," they chanted, causing the hall to tremble. A feeling of pride burned within Edward as he sat in the thirteenth seat. Even after Edward sat, the nobles remained standing. Noticing this, Edward said,

"Commence."


I think you should move "Commence" so that it is on the same line as the rest of the paragraph. Or you could even break it up at the part when Edward sits down.

Darek the Holy was his father's best friend and his master. He was the one who had taught him the ways of authority and power, and also the one Edward suspected to be behind his father's illness. He still remembered Darek’s face when his father was diagnosed with the illness—it was unlike anyone else's. While everyone else's emotions went wild, his remained icy cold.


You do a fantastic job here at describing the dynamics between Darek and Edward. I love the details of Edwards illness and how that relates to Darek. The words aren't super complex, but they still read in a very mature way. "Unlike anyone else" sort of stood out to be, it seems to be alone and filled heavily with a lot more behind the words.

“Oh, I greet the radiant one. We have received urgent news from the north,” the man said, clenching his fist and placing it over his chest in respect.


Nice dialogue throughout this chapter! I would love to see some more details about the tone of voice. The characters here speak in an almost elegant way, but not overly elegant that it seems fancy or unusual or out of place. I love that you have the ability to write like that, great job! Overall, I enjoyed this chapter. You have a lot of talent with your writing style and staying consistent with the elegant tone of speech. Wonderful job.

Your friend,
Ellie

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ThekingsAdvisor says...


Thank you for the review.




I love how we all band together to break things...
— Kelpies