Hi there friend! Ellie here with a quick review. Let's get started!
Outside people surrounded the cabin, no one dared to even breathe loudly. The scene of the Elder's death was still crystal clear in their memories. Their hearts felt like it was being stretched, and that if they breathed any louder it would pop.
Right from the beginning, you use a lot of description about what is happening to get us engaged and caught up with the story. I really enjoy this details. I found them to be simple and easy to read. From what I have read so far, this is an engaging plot as well.
The Envoy slowly opened the door to the cabin. Inside Matthew sat on the floor, he was shackled from his eyes to his feet. He looked like a golden cocoon that had just started its metamorphous process.
OOH! I love the descriptions we are getting here. A golden cocoon that had just gone through metamorphosis. That paints such a clearer image in my head. Amazing job with this section, especially. It really stood out to me because of this description that you used. It paints a beautiful image, really.
'The demon is harmless, the chains restrained his power'
I would recommend using " " quotations here instead of ' '.
The Envoy smiled, he said inwardly; humph, open your eyes. This is a creation of the south and the light. The man-made mythic. The lunar owl
You are missing a period at the end of this last sentence. Besides that, this was a wonderful way to end! Overall, nice chapter and I look forward to reading more in the future. Keep writing!
Your friend,
Ellie
Points: 62463
Reviews: 629
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