z

Young Writers Society



Forever - Part Seven - The Mansion

by TheWarriorMingan


A whoosh of cool air greeted her as she pushed through the doors, into the lobby of the busy police station.

A young woman, not too much older than herself, walked up to Emma.

“Hi. I’m Inspector Volcov’s assistant, Kara Gwynn. You must be Ms. Wayne. It’s nice to meet you” Kara smiled, her bright green eyes matched oddly with her very light blonde hair.

“Yes, and it’s nice to meet you also. Are you new to working here?” Just two weeks ago, Emma knew everybody at this station.

“As a matter of fact, Inspector Volcov and I just transferred here from North Police Station. There was a job opening last week. Anyway, please follow me.” Kara started to lead Emma to the back of the station towards the private offices when a woman stopped them.

“Oh, Kara. Ms. Meyer is already here, why don’t you take Ms. Wayne to the open office instead?” The woman was tall, in her thirties, and had sleek brown hair.

“Yes, Inspector.” Kara nodded. The inspector shot a piercing glare at Emma that gave her shivers down her spine. Kara took a turn, leading Emma into an open office. The white walls and brown trim matched the many plants in the office. Definitely a more cheerful view than the city.

A woman was standing in front of the corner office windows, staring thoughtfully into the metropolis.

“Ms. Meyer? Ms. Wayne is here to see you.” Kara said.

“Thank you, Kara, you may go now.” When Kara left, Ms. Meyer did not look up from the window. Presently, she turned around.

“Please have a seat, Emma.” Ms. Meyer beckoned. She smiled pleasantly as they sat down. Ms. Meyer reached across the desk and shook Emma’s hand.

“I’m Barbera Meyer, your social worker, but you may call me Barbera. Dr. Sullivan has informed me of your medical status.” Emma nodded.

“How are you doing?” Barbera asked kindly. The girl shook her head, forcing back the sudden tears in her eyes. They surprised her.

“Not well.” She managed. “I mean, I know that my parents are. . . gone. But that night is just a blank page in my mind. If I could remember what happened, then I could. . .”

“It’s okay, I know.” Barbera soothed. “Maybe you could talk to Inspector Volcov, she might know something.”

“I don’t think she likes me very much.”

“Nonsense. She’s a very brave and smart woman. I’m sure she’ll talk if you want to.” Emma sat back.

“Either way, did the doctor tell you who you’ll be living with?” Barbera asked.

“Not a word.” Emma picked at a loose thread on her chair.

“Well, your closest relative is your cousin, Bruce Wayne, and he’s willing to look after you.”

“My cousin?” Emma bolted upright. “The Bruce Wayne?” She couldn’t believe it.

“Yes, he’s on your father’s side.” Barbera was looking through a folder and she didn’t see the shock on Emma’s face at first. Then she looked up.

“Why, Emma. Is that a surprise to you?” Emma shook her head.

“I always believed that my father and Bruce Wayne were from different lineages. My father mentioned a cousin, but I thought. . .” She trailed off, absorbed in her thoughts.

“I’ve heard that things were a little. . .” Barbera paused, searching for a word, “a little tense between your father and Mr. Wayne.”

“Oh.” Emma rubbed her arms.

“Look, I’m sure you’ve had a rough day, so why don’t we finish up all this legal stuff another day. What do you say?”

“Thank you, I am a little tired.” Emma smiled wanly.

“Okay, well here’s a bag with your clothes and some of your parent’s things from your apartment. I thought it might be better for you not to go back for the time being.” Barbera stood, and handed Emma a small black duffel bag.

“Oh, Kara. Just in time, will you call a cab for Ms. Wayne?” Barbera called as Kara walked past the room. Emma felt her anxiety start to go up.

“Of course, Ms. Meyer.” Kara replied.

“Um, Barbera. I really don’t want to take another cab.” Emma interfered. Barbera stared at Emma for a second.

“Okay, then. I’ll drive you there myself. I’ve always wanted to see that mansion again.” Barbera’s smile replaced the doubtful look she’d had a second before. Emma sighed as a wave of relief washed over her, silently vowing never to take a cab again. She took the duffel in her hand and followed Barbera out of the office. How much is in this bag, it’s heavy! She marveled.

They passed Inspector Volcov on their way out. She stared with those piercing black eyes, once again, making Emma shudder. Inspector Volcov’s eyes were so dark, Emma couldn’t even discern her pupil from her iris.

Once on the street, Barbera led Emma to a small black car.

“Here’s my car. Let me put your bag in the back.” Barbera smiled and Emma muttered her thanks and climbed into the front seat. Barbera joined her, and they were soon on their way.

Emma let her eyes wander over the skyscrapers, occasionally spying a bird. They eventually reached the edge of the city, and into the slums. Emma turned away, not wanting to see the messy streets, and her old, worn-down apartment.

Eventually, she opened her eyes, and to her delight, they were in the countryside. Lush grass covered the sprawling hills, which were dotted with wildflowers and lined with trees. Emma smiled at a sheepdog barking and rounding up sheep with superb accuracy. The shepherd raised a hand in greeting. Emma waved back.

Emma’s gaze rested upon an eagle. She’d been watching it for quite some time now. A long time, and it seemed to be following them. Why, it was following them! Emma thought with surprise. She squinted at the bird, trying to get a closer look, and wished she had her father’s binoculars.

“So, why didn’t you want a cab?” Barbera brought Emma out of her musings. Emma sighed and turned to Barbera. She quickly told the eventful journey, only sticking to the most important facts. She glazed lightly over her fears, not wanting Barbera to know that she thought she’d been in danger.

“Oh.” Was the woman’s only response. A silence ensued for a while.

The car honked and the tires screeched to a stop. Emma bit her tongue to hold back a scream.

“Are you alright?” A voice came. Emma was curled up with her head in her hands. She jumped when a hand laid on her back.

“It’s okay, it’s only me.” Barbera said. Emma sat up. She was breathing hard, and her heart pounded like a drum.

“W, what was th, that?” Emma asked shakily. She clasped her hands together to make them stop shaking.

“It was just a dog, are you okay?” Worry creased Barbera’s face.

“Y, yeah. I’m f, fine.” Emma tried a smile.

“I think you had a panic attack.” Barbera said, “Are you sure you’re alright now?”

Emma nodded. Her heart was slowing down, and her hands had stopped shaking. Barbera started driving again. She occasionally glanced toward Emma to make sure she was alright.

Ten minutes later, they arrived at a metal gate, Emma noticed it had a crest on it. Bruce Wayne's family crest. Her family crest. Barbera pulled up to a keypad.

“Facial ID or key code?” A computerized voice asked.

“Key code,” Barbera confirmed, before typing a code onto the screen.

“Access granted.” The metal gates slowly opened, and Barbera drove through.

“Wow, this is a long driveway.” Barbera commented after several minutes. Emma laughed. But the sight she next beheld was no laughing matter. A mansion, more of a castle, stood in the middle of an open field. It's perfectly manicured lawns and flowering gardens only dimmed in comparison to the mansion’s grandeur. Everything practically screamed royalty. But the Waynes were not royalty. They were just super rich.

The car pulled up the circular driveway to the very front of the house. Emma couldn’t even see the top. She slowly got out of the car, staring at the richness of the mansion. Stone lions, the same ones on the family crest, guarded the doorway. Several more were resting up higher on the mansion walls.

Barbera handed Emma her duffel bag.

“I have to go, I’m already late for an appointment.” Barbera smiled at Emma when she saw the worry on her face. “You’ll do great! Oh, I almost forgot.” Barbera brought out a chain with two rings on it. “They’re your parents' rings.”

“Thank you.” Emma tried to blink back at the pricks in her eyes. She stared at the rings before slipping the small chain over her head.

“If you ever need to talk to me, just call. There’s a new cell in that bag.” Emma nodded her thanks, then Barbera got in the car and left. Emma turned back. The mansion loomed over her. It was even more imposing than before.

"Find your cousin, then come back for us." Her father's parting words echoed through her head. Emma sighed. She raised her hand to the lion's head knocker and rapped twice, sharply.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
218 Reviews


Points: 85
Reviews: 218

Donate
Thu Jun 24, 2021 11:04 pm
creaturefeature wrote a review...



“Well, your closest relative is your cousin, Bruce Wayne, and he’s willing to look after you.”


Ah so I was right. This is a Batman fanfic. I typically don't like fanfic because I believe it doesn't really stay true to the original material enough, but that's technically the point of why people write it. I do enjoy myself some Batman in a general not from a fanfic sense, so hopefully I can go into this and feel that way with that knowledge.

I do know from the fanfic I've seen in the past that having the source character being related to the insert is quite common. I bring up conveniences to plot a lot in my reviews for this and other works, but when something is painted to cleanly to the point it doesn't even look like someone made it, you assume it was a picture from the internet. The same logic could be placed here replaced with the family relations being too perfect.

“I always believed that my father and Bruce Wayne were from different lineages. My father mentioned a cousin, but I thought. . .” She trailed off, absorbed in her thoughts.


The general knowledge someone has about their family is what is said from parents and known from experience. The fact she knows so much about her family, or well, thinks that she knows so much about her family, would've came in very useful for the doctors in all of that hospital scene that came up a few chapters ago.

“Y, yeah. I’m f, fine.” Emma tried a smile.


This is a small nitpick, but if you want to write a stuttering scene, it doesn't happen like this. I strongly recommend against stuttering in general in writing because of how quickly it can get old and become muddled, but if it's a once in a while thing, I don't have much of any thoughts on it other than "oh yeah, the reminder of my stutter that affects me in life daily because it's uncontrollably hard and followed me since childhood."

The way you'd write that would be with dashes after every letter or partial word, and everything else would be the same as it is now. Stuttering also includes in some situations the overuse of words like "uh" and random mouth sounds.






Thank you so much, Chikara!



User avatar


Points: 146
Reviews: 3

Donate
Mon Jun 21, 2021 12:31 pm
CluelessJay says...



This is pretty cool ^_^. Keep going!






Thanks! Have you read the previous parts?



User avatar
4100 Reviews


Points: 253913
Reviews: 4100

Donate
Mon Jun 21, 2021 7:42 am
KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm baaack to review another part!!

First Impression: OKay...another lovely addition to this here story you've got...I've said this before but I do love where this is headed, and its been an awesome read so far. Well...you know the drill by know...more details down below. :D

Anyway let's get right to it,

A whoosh of cool air greeted her as she pushed through the doors, into the lobby of the busy police station.

A young woman, not too much older than herself, walked up to Emma.


Okay...well she made it there safely, I suppose now things are really going to start getting a bit of a move forward with getting into the next part of this story and moving beyond the incident that started the whole thing off.

“Hi. I’m Inspector Volcov’s assistant, Kara Gwynn. You must be Ms. Wayne. It’s nice to meet you” Kara smiled, her bright green eyes matched oddly with her very light blonde hair.

“Yes, and it’s nice to meet you also. Are you new to working here?” Just two weeks ago, Emma knew everybody at this station.


Hmm, well, interesting that Emma would want to question that at the moment with everything else going but I suppose it is a pretty neat way of making sure these characters' backstory gets introduced a little better here.

“As a matter of fact, Inspector Volcov and I just transferred here from North Police Station. There was a job opening last week. Anyway, please follow me.” Kara started to lead Emma to the back of the station towards the private offices when a woman stopped them.

“Oh, Kara. Ms. Meyer is already here, why don’t you take Ms. Wayne to the open office instead?” The woman was tall, in her thirties, and had sleek brown hair.


Hmm, neat description snuck in there, it looks like they're going towards the person that Emma's going to have to end up living with...this should be interesting to see....especially to see who this is here.

“Yes, Inspector.” Kara nodded. The inspector shot a piercing glare at Emma that gave her shivers down her spine. Kara took a turn, leading Emma into an open office. The white walls and brown trim matched the many plants in the office. Definitely a more cheerful view than the city.

A woman was standing in front of the corner office windows, staring thoughtfully into the metropolis.


Hmm, well that's a fun way to introduce a character, just staring out across the city through a random window...that's definitely a fun touch there.

“Ms. Meyer? Ms. Wayne is here to see you.” Kara said.

“Thank you, Kara, you may go now.” When Kara left, Ms. Meyer did not look up from the window. Presently, she turned around.

“Please have a seat, Emma.” Ms. Meyer beckoned. She smiled pleasantly as they sat down. Ms. Meyer reached across the desk and shook Emma’s hand.


Alright, this one seems to be a nice person so far, it looks like things are going to slow down for a moment and finally actually settle down for poor Emma, and she's probably going to need the rest cause of whatever may happen next.

“I’m Barbera Meyer, your social worker, but you may call me Barbera. Dr. Sullivan has informed me of your medical status.” Emma nodded.

“How are you doing?” Barbera asked kindly. The girl shook her head, forcing back the sudden tears in her eyes. They surprised her.

“Not well.” She managed. “I mean, I know that my parents are. . . gone. But that night is just a blank page in my mind. If I could remember what happened, then I could. . .”


Well its not surprising that they're barely anything she remembers but I do love the honestly there with here not going with the ever so overused fake "I'm fine" that tends to make situations worse.

“It’s okay, I know.” Barbera soothed. “Maybe you could talk to Inspector Volcov, she might know something.”

“I don’t think she likes me very much.”


Well...that's probably a bit too early to be judging her there, Emma, you only met here once after all.

“Nonsense. She’s a very brave and smart woman. I’m sure she’ll talk if you want to.” Emma sat back.

“Either way, did the doctor tell you who you’ll be living with?” Barbera asked.

“Not a word.” Emma picked at a loose thread on her chair.


AHh...her comes the reveal, I really hope it is in fact the person that I have been imagining it to be all this time.

“Well, your closest relative is your cousin, Bruce Wayne, and he’s willing to look after you.”

“My cousin?” Emma bolted upright. “The Bruce Wayne?” She couldn’t believe it.

“Yes, he’s on your father’s side.” Barbera was looking through a folder and she didn’t see the shock on Emma’s face at first. Then she looked up.


WOOHOO...admittedly, this is not exactly the hardest thing to guess in something that is a batman fanfiction, but having this confirmed is an awesome moment for me..xD

“Why, Emma. Is that a surprise to you?” Emma shook her head.

“I always believed that my father and Bruce Wayne were from different lineages. My father mentioned a cousin, but I thought. . .” She trailed off, absorbed in her thoughts.

“I’ve heard that things were a little. . .” Barbera paused, searching for a word, “a little tense between your father and Mr. Wayne.”


Oh well...at least it appears Bruce does want to still look after here and well, its very obvious he definitely has the budget to look after here quite well although...how good of a guardian he would be as someone that's not home half the time at night is going to be interesting.

“Oh.” Emma rubbed her arms.

“Look, I’m sure you’ve had a rough day, so why don’t we finish up all this legal stuff another day. What do you say?”

“Thank you, I am a little tired.” Emma smiled wanly.


Yup, looks like this social worker does know that humans need rest, I do love how realistic things like that have been kept in this story, its surprisingly not too often that you find stories where details like that are actually given attention.

“Okay, well here’s a bag with your clothes and some of your parent’s things from your apartment. I thought it might be better for you not to go back for the time being.” Barbera stood, and handed Emma a small black duffel bag.


Those memories definitely will not be very good for her...not in her current state at all, another good call by Barbara there, so far I've just managed to love all the characters in this story.

“Oh, Kara. Just in time, will you call a cab for Ms. Wayne?” Barbera called as Kara walked past the room. Emma felt her anxiety start to go up.

“Of course, Ms. Meyer.” Kara replied.

“Um, Barbera. I really don’t want to take another cab.” Emma interfered. Barbera stared at Emma for a second.


Well, you definitely can't blame her for not wanting to get into another cab that day, she's definitely had enough of cabs to last a person a good few years there in the morning.

“Okay, then. I’ll drive you there myself. I’ve always wanted to see that mansion again.” Barbera’s smile replaced the doubtful look she’d had a second before. Emma sighed as a wave of relief washed over her, silently vowing never to take a cab again. She took the duffel in her hand and followed Barbera out of the office. How much is in this bag, it’s heavy! She marveled.


Well, that worked out pretty well for here there, definitely good to see all these people being very nice so far here.

They passed Inspector Volcov on their way out. She stared with those piercing black eyes, once again, making Emma shudder. Inspector Volcov’s eyes were so dark, Emma couldn’t even discern her pupil from her iris.


Hmm, well the relationship between these two characters feels like its going to be quite interesting going forward.

Once on the street, Barbera led Emma to a small black car.

“Here’s my car. Let me put your bag in the back.” Barbera smiled and Emma muttered her thanks and climbed into the front seat. Barbera joined her, and they were soon on their way.

Emma let her eyes wander over the skyscrapers, occasionally spying a bird. They eventually reached the edge of the city, and into the slums. Emma turned away, not wanting to see the messy streets, and her old, worn-down apartment.


Hmm...alright a nice bit of the passing scenery of the area there as they're passing through, its just enough description to give us a feel for what kind of surrounding they're driving through without bogging down the piece with too much detail.

Eventually, she opened her eyes, and to her delight, they were in the countryside. Lush grass covered the sprawling hills, which were dotted with wildflowers and lined with trees. Emma smiled at a sheepdog barking and rounding up sheep with superb accuracy. The shepherd raised a hand in greeting. Emma waved back.


Ahh, out in the relaxing countryside, this is certainly a nice break from all the skyscrapers that we continued to run into during the previous few chapters.

Emma’s gaze rested upon an eagle. She’d been watching it for quite some time now. A long time, and it seemed to be following them. Why, it was following them! Emma thought with surprise. She squinted at the bird, trying to get a closer look, and wished she had her father’s binoculars.


Okay...interesting eagle there...I wonder if that's some sort of trained bird belonging to Bruce just sort of keeping an eye on them..or am I overthinking everything as always here...well let's see I suppose.

“So, why didn’t you want a cab?” Barbera brought Emma out of her musings. Emma sighed and turned to Barbera. She quickly told the eventful journey, only sticking to the most important facts. She glazed lightly over her fears, not wanting Barbera to know that she thought she’d been in danger.


Hmm...interesting choice with here leaving those details out...it feels like a thing you shouldn't be keeping to yourself there...but I suppose perhaps she doesn't want to alarm Barbara too much I guess.

“Oh.” Was the woman’s only response. A silence ensued for a while.

The car honked and the tires screeched to a stop. Emma bit her tongue to hold back a scream.


Well, that broke that silence pretty thoroughly there...

“Are you alright?” A voice came. Emma was curled up with her head in her hands. She jumped when a hand laid on her back.

“It’s okay, it’s only me.” Barbera said. Emma sat up. She was breathing hard, and her heart pounded like a drum.

“W, what was th, that?” Emma asked shakily. She clasped her hands together to make them stop shaking.


Hmm, ahh, the effects of the trauma of that incident are really making continued appearances here...I think I've said this a million times already but I love seeing how you continue to ensure an incident like that does have lasting effects.

“It was just a dog, are you okay?” Worry creased Barbera’s face.

“Y, yeah. I’m f, fine.” Emma tried a smile.

“I think you had a panic attack.” Barbera said, “Are you sure you’re alright now?”

Emma nodded. Her heart was slowing down, and her hands had stopped shaking. Barbera started driving again. She occasionally glanced toward Emma to make sure she was alright.


At least it was nothing too serious there....and it happened at a pretty safe time.

Ten minutes later, they arrived at a metal gate, Emma noticed it had a crest on it. Bruce Wayne's family crest. Her family crest. Barbera pulled up to a keypad.

“Facial ID or key code?” A computerized voice asked.

“Key code,” Barbera confirmed, before typing a code onto the screen.


Oooh, that is a very sneaky passphrase there...I love it.

“Access granted.” The metal gates slowly opened, and Barbera drove through.

“Wow, this is a long driveway.” Barbera commented after several minutes. Emma laughed. But the sight she next beheld was no laughing matter. A mansion, more of a castle, stood in the middle of an open field. It's perfectly manicured lawns and flowering gardens only dimmed in comparison to the mansion’s grandeur. Everything practically screamed royalty. But the Waynes were not royalty. They were just super rich.


Well...that last line cracked me up far more than something like that had any right to...xD....but well, this was a pretty cool description here so far.

The car pulled up the circular driveway to the very front of the house. Emma couldn’t even see the top. She slowly got out of the car, staring at the richness of the mansion. Stone lions, the same ones on the family crest, guarded the doorway. Several more were resting up higher on the mansion walls.


Hmm, the descriptions of this mansion have been pretty good so far.

Barbera handed Emma her duffel bag.

“I have to go, I’m already late for an appointment.” Barbera smiled at Emma when she saw the worry on her face. “You’ll do great! Oh, I almost forgot.” Barbera brought out a chain with two rings on it. “They’re your parents' rings.”


Okay...feels like that's a pretty important which she forgot about till the very last moment, a little nitpicky of me to say that, but yeah, you prolly don't want to just have it shoved in at the end there, it should prolly be mentioned a bit earlier at the very least if not given to her earlier.

“Thank you.” Emma tried to blink back at the pricks in her eyes. She stared at the rings before slipping the small chain over her head.

“If you ever need to talk to me, just call. There’s a new cell in that bag.” Emma nodded her thanks, then Barbera got in the car and left. Emma turned back. The mansion loomed over her. It was even more imposing than before.


Hmm, I'm sure that bag has a ton of very expensive things in it...

"Find your cousin, then come back for us." Her father's parting words echoed through her head. Emma sighed. She raised her hand to the lion's head knocker and rapped twice, sharply.


Wow....a suuper exciting point to end this story on there...and ahhhh...the reference back to that little statement is an awesome choice here and...well, I definitely can't wait to see what's to come next. :D

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall another pretty solid chapter, I had maybe two nitpicks but not much else to point out on this one. And suuuper excited to see how that next chapter will look like. :D

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry






Thank you so much, Harry!



KateHardy says...


You're Welcome!! :D




have u ever noticed how ugly rosy-lipped batfish r? and not like in the “aw ur so ugly ur cute” way that like opossums r — no they’re just hideously ugly beasts that should never have existed and r the epitome of evolution fails. the stupidity, blank look, head emptiness. they’re horrible n everyone who likes them r horrible too. they truly have the worst fan-base >:[
— Shady