Marching forward, is what I've been told to do
Take the life of the living, it's not my say
What, what, do I really have to?
I don't really want to do this, pay or no pay
As the stars command the bright and evening sky
I do what I'm told to by a higher power
My commanding officer shouting "Let them die!"
All the way from the fortified old tower
They line them up against the wall
Setting up our guns we lie them to bed
Using our weapons we made them all fall
Leaving no mercy, ensuring they are all dead
They next bring in women and children ordering the same
My fears all compressed me, "Murderer!" I struggle to even look
I turn my back, tired of this little game
Hunting down believers of the old good book
I drop my weapon "Enough!" I said full of fire
My commander immediately shouted, reaching for my hand
I refused, called a traitor, a dirty, dirty liar
That's when they took a shot, where I did stand
I feel to my knees, without a bit of strife
I have heard that dying was not so bad, old news
I even heard that images, flashes of your life
All I knew was the commandment: ‘Shoot the Jews!’
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Hey TheRobster1991. It's me again. I've some to review another one of you well written poems. This wasn't as good as the other two I head but I like it never the less. The only correction I have in at the end you say:
I could tell you meant "fell" but it confused me a little bit. But that's all I have for this review. Keep writing and never get discouraged!
~Keepwriting
I like the lay out along with the meaning behind it, the story has a real good feel to it and went pretty smoothly. I enjoyed it!
it stuck the flow, i got the meaning, but you can use better words to flow the emotions
it's god i like the over all meaning
keep up the good work