These lyrics are based off of 'Doja Cat: Streets"... same flow, just different lyrics. It's originally about a girl being messed up about a guy... but this is my version. :P Enjoy. You can find the original song here: Doja Cat- Streets
*I also recommend you read this out loud*
Baby, I know I'm selfish,
That's just how I act some days,
Thought I needed someone who could,
Change me but,
You left me stray
-
You got all the answers baby,
You said that you needed space,
How could someone love you like me?
How could you say forever and always?
-
I'm pouring my heart out,
You're acting like a fool,
You ask me to slow down,
Lord, what am I to do?
-
I tried to forget,
But I'm stuck on you like glue,
And now I'm stuck in your cycle,
And you refuse to let me out,
-
Do you,
Do you,
Do you,
Find someone who lets you do you,
I wonder if she'll let you do you
-
Damn, baby, you are scary,
No comparing, these feelings,
I want to bury,
Tryna keep them because you found them,
Let that girl know,
I'm not doing no more caring.
I can take you to the parents,
And the Maldives,
We can start a family
Final Fantasy,
But in real life, saying,
"I'm not going anywhere,
I'm real life praying"
You left my heart in debt,
Don't know when I'm paying,
Like the games you stayed on,
You're real life playing.
-
Do you,
Do you,
Find someone who lets you do you,
Do you,
Do you
Tell her to send her location,
Let her come through.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,795 Reviews
Hi there! I've not listened to the original song, but I've read the piece out loud a few times just to get a feel for the rhythm. From what I gather, these lyrics are about the speaker/singer's troubled relationship with their partner. I can't quite tell if they leave each other by the end, but there seems to be some ambivalence going on between them saying "Find someone who lets you do you" and "But I'm stuck on you like glue".
Language
I like the wordplay in this song, for example here where "Don't know when I'm paying" reflects the same sense of uncertainty as "You're real life playing". On the surface, they're both just puns, but they also convey the sense that this person's partner isn't telling them the full story or being serious about their relationship.
Maybe "you're scary" would work better here? The rest of the time the speaker's voice seems very conversational and informal, so using a contraction here might fit that better.
Structure
I liked the rhythm especially in this verse! The lines have half-rhymes in baby/like me and space/always, which create cohesion without losing a sense of natural speech. The repeated structures of "You . . . " and "How could . . . " also emphasise the contrasting statements being made with each line, which contributes to that feel of conflicting emotions.
The repetition of 'do you' is so interesting, because in some parts (like the second line here) it seems to mean 'be yourself', but when it's written like the first line it makes the verse sound like a question (even without a question mark written in). I think this would fit in with the uncertainty I mentioned earlier.
It also leaves these last lines up to interpretation, I think. Is this a challenge to the speaker's competitor? Or is it a question to the speaker's partner?
That's all
Hopefully you found these comments helpful - and keep writing!
Cheers,
-Lim
HIYO! This is Hailey's Review for an Amazing piece! I love your version. Its Flows so well and just is Amazing.
My favorite line Has to be this
'You left my heart in debt,
Don't know when I'm paying,
Like the games you stayed on,
You're real life playing.'
It personally is funny. (sorry). It just flows so well and I first noticed this Out of everything. Overall this is really good and thank you for Re-writing Such an Amazing piece. I Loved it!
hey Ducklin here to review!
Actually this isn't a real review it's just me saying how good it sounded.
the flow was really pleasing same with you wordchoice.
I really have nothing negative to say so
Good job!
Keep on writing,
-D.