Young Writers Society

if this is a suicidal poem or a poem about depression I'm so sorry. I relate....my profile would explain it. But wow. I keep reading this over and over. Each line makes me feel heavier and heavier, as if I'm sinking and no one is there to help me or save me. I don't know why I keep falling but everything just makes me so tired and it's too much to keep my head up anymore. This poem. This. It's just something I want to copy & paste into another place to save it. To look back and remember that there came a time I felt like this and maybe in the future I won't. I felt connected with these short 19 lines. It says so much.

I am not sure how to entirely explain it. Just the fact that anything sharp sings a silent siren's song to me personally. I hold onto every dream I have and write it down for safekeeping. I have written letters to shadows that will never be delivered to them. They will never read it. The rain is something that matches my grey, numb mood. I'm so sorry if you're struggling with anything or anyone at the moment. If there is anything I can do to help ease the hurt....

Thank you for posting this. I hope you have a happy day tomorrow and can have a genuine smile on your face, embracing sunshine instead of the rain.

~Freak

Hi, Felistia here with a review for you on this wonderful day.

Overall thoughts

Theme: Wow that was quite a heavy theme there. It's not every day that I read a poem about people wanting to commit suicide. You didn't make it openly obvious by blatantly saying what the poem was about, but instead slowly worked it into the poem.

Rhythm: The rhythm is you poem was also really good especially since there wasn't any rhyming scheme. I actually can't find any fault in the rhythm.

Description: Now for the description. I thought this was the most appealing part of your poem. You provided lots of wonderful imagery that really work with the poem. It helped to bring emotion into the work and made it jump out at me. It was a really wonderful poem to read.

Title: Your title was also attractive and makes a possible reader want to click on your work. It connects with the poem and wasn't pulled out of thin air like a few of the poems I see now days.

Overall it was a great poem and I look forward to the next one. Never stop writing and I hope you have a great day\night.

Your friend, Felistia.

This review courtesy of

It is a really well written poem. I love the imagery you weaved in the middle of the poem. I love the lines:

Why do I hold onto a whisper of a dream,

Of a memory I have yet to make?

Why can't I feel my heart beat,

Or see my soul in my eyes?

Why do knives sing me a sirens song,

And the sun fail to bring me any warmth?

But people only ask me why I sit in the rain,

And never notice that it hides my tears.

Specially this last line, just amazing! But why have you put this poem in the book's column?

Anyways, loved your work! I hope you will read my works too!