The Man I Knew

This is a beautiful peice of poetry. Though it doesn’t describe how the daughter would be feeling, you can still feel it. The stanzas are great, and make the poem organized. When you said,
“ But now, you are someone else. A stranger in my fathers body”
That line was touching. For me that was my favorite stanza. That was a great way to describe it that I wouldn’t have even thought of. You’re poem is short and sweet but has a lot of emotion packed into it. This was overall a lovely and very real piece! Good job! Keep writing!

Hii dear, it's me sweta with my opinion on your beautiful piece of work.


The poem is well written, well described , easy to understand. The title is going good too with the poem. Plus its very catchy and awesome too.i like the way you described the relationship between a father and a daughter. I really enjoy your piece of work. I hope you keep it up writing more.it is very well organised.

Great work , all the best.

This is really well written. I'd like to see more emotion in the piece, as most of the poem describes that scenario, rather than the author's opinion of it.

I do really like the analogy of being a prisoner, it fits perfectly into the situation. The ending was great, showing that the author has had enough, and forces her father to make a choice. It left me wondering what happens after this poem takes place. I'm curious as to how the rest of the family is handling the situation as well, or if there are other people affected.

The poem is really well organized and easy to read.

Great concept, well done!

Hey there, TheLeakyPen !!

This is Eros here with a review for this beautiful piece of poetry, on this special day of the review day !!

Happy review day !

Firstly the title is the most important thing. It should be catchy and attractive to catch the readers' attention. And it is indeed catchy... I liked the Mysterious title here. Like, "The Man I Knew" ...it arouses many questions like, who is the man? What is going to be there... You know...it arouses a keen interest and compels the readers to really read and find out.

Then the title should be apt. And the title you have given to this poem is also very apt and appropriate and suits the poem very well. I loved the unique title and the unique idea and theme behind the poetry, about Dad, I guess.

The idea flows very smoothly and the poem also has a good flow. I like the way you have described the relationship between dad and you as the protagonist of the poem. Lol shouldn't say it a protagonist ...but I can't think of any other word so as to substitute it. But I loved it all. It was a unique poem based on drinking I guess.

The poem has an easy to understand language and the choice of set of words is also very good.

The stanzas were great and presented very well.

Overall a great work.

Keep writing such amazing works and we would love to keep reading them and reviewing them!!

Have a great day / Night !
Happy review day, once again.
With love,
~Eros.

Mm, I can see this is a really emotional poem for you, and it's probably hard to take feedback on this, so I'll keep it soft.

My suggestion to you is to get as specific as you can in these types of poems. I have a mother who went through a serious illness and I found that it was more cathartic and helpful for me to be specific about things she said, things she did, or even things that happened in that day, or at that time, to get the emotions out. Usually I'd end up crying as I was writing them, but that was okay. I still cry when I read them and I still can't edit them.

Now, if you're not that way, that's fine, but I think that the goal of this type of poem is more of a catharsis than writing a great poem. If that's the case, then it can do a bit of both by being as specific as you feel comfortable getting. Write a lot of these and if you ever do want to edit them, ask yourself "How many people could this describe?" If the answer is more than one, your dad, or the character this is in your head, then it's too broad, it needs to be more specific. In a creative writing class, I was asked to write a poem about myself, and then we exchanged poems and had to determine if the poem was actually about the writer or if it could be about any generic "school teacher" or "aspiring poet" or "student" in the room, or if it had to be that one particular person. We couldn't use our name.

It was challenging because the things that I think of describing myself as were all things that are used to describe everyone. You have to get into a specific scene in order to really be talking about a specific person.
"My three young daughters
laugh in the back yard
and play kickball"

isn't even specific enough. You have to go with things like:
"Zoie kicks the ball at Rylie's head
she's a good aim, and Rylie cries
I still remember bandaging up the little scar
across her eyebrow

they learn rough, but they love each other
Zoie gave Rylie all her cookies for a month.
I signed Zoie up for Soccer."

The more specific you get, whether you make up the actual story or you take it from real experiences, will give the poem more flavor and it will be more cathartic to write because you're getting down the actual instance. Now, I don't have daughters, but I can make up stories, and sometimes that's just as cathartic as the real experience. It can be a metaphor for how you feel you're being treated. Sylvia Plath did this with her poem about her dad too. She used metaphors of events that didn't actually happen to get her anger out, or at least write good poems. It's debatable!

Anyway, I hope this helps you!
Aley