Thrallmagic: Chapter 13

by TheCrimsonLady

Published October 18, 2015

12+

In Thrallmagic

Chapter 13

When I wake, the light is shining brightly through the windows. Lindon is still beside me, and I can hear Serafine and one of my ladies chattering in the next room. I pull a pillow over my head, wanting to disappear into the depths of the blankets. As I move, I can feel Lindon wake in my mind, and I smile. His consciousness doesn’t feel out of place- only new. It feels almost like an extension of my own mind. Lindon sits up with a huge yawn and stretches. Sitting up, he begins to look for his boots. I watch him with slitted eyes, wishing for someone to draw the curtains so I can go back to sleep. He laughs in return, chucking a cushion at me. Groaning, I get out of bed, yawning hugely.

“Must I do things today? I’d rather just stay in bed and sleep.” I sway on my feet, still somehow so tired I feel as though I can sleep for another day.

Lindon utters a shout of victory when he finds his boots before glancing at me worriedly. “You look pale, and you’re worrying me.” Crossing the room, he lays a hot palm on my forehead. When I cringe back, he looks at me in alarm. “You’re freezing. I’m sending for a healer.”

“Is that really necessary? I’m fine.” I cross the room to demonstrate that I am, indeed, fine, but a wave of dizziness hits me, and I have to stop midway. Lindon hurries over.

“You are most certainly not fine, so you can either get back in bed yourself or I will make you.” His voice still holds a hint of laughter, but his eyes are clouded with worry.

I drag my feet back to the bed and collapse into the warm blankets, shivering already. “Bossy, bossy. Where’s the Lindon from last night?”

He rolls his eyes at me, exasperated. “Are you really that cold? It’s warm in here.”

I shrug. “Maybe this is just some side effect from the bonding. I feel fine, aside from the dizziness, Lindon.” Now it is I who sound annoyed.

“Having a healer look over you will certainly not hurt, will it?” Finished with lacing up his boots, he finds his jacket and pulls it on. “I need to get back to my men, Ria, but tell me if anything happens.” He resumes looking around the room, this time for his gloves.

“I’ll let you know. What will you tell the Hunt, anyway?” I snuggle deeper into the blankets.

He bites his lip. “I don’t know, but they will accept it.” Lacing his gloves on, too, he drops a kiss on my forehead, saying, “Get a healer to look over you, will you?” He goes to the door, but turns around before he leaves. “Don’t think you’re off the hook about telling me about last night, either. I’m just giving you some time.”

I sigh in annoyance, snuggling deeper into the blankets and trying to hear Lindon leave. When I hear voices at the outer door, I sit up, listening intently, but all I hear is a curt goodbye from Lindon. Sighing, I sit back and wait for Serafine to come in with the news of who it is. When she enters, she looks worried, and curtsey is stiff.

“Prince Alexander to see you, your highness.” Her eyes are downcast, and she doesn’t meet my gaze.

Slipping out of bed gracefully, I say, “Very well. Tell him to wait, and help me dress.”

Bowing obediently, she retreats into the closet, taking a candle-lamp with her. “What would you like to wear, princess?”

“Find something bright, would you?” I cross to the water basin and scrub my face, shivering as the icy water meets my skin. Patting my face dry, I slip my dressing robe on, and sit down at my vanity, putting my many earrings in. Serafine comes back out with a dress the color of a sunset. Smiling, I let her dress me, watching my reflection in the tall mirror. When her hands go to my hair, I wave her off.

“I have to-“

“It’s fine. You can do it later. Best not to keep the prince waiting any longer, aye?” I smile at her, surprising myself by being in a good mood. Not wanting to bother with shoes, I pad out barefoot.

Alexander stands when I enter, starting to bow, but I wave him down. “Please, sit.” I sink into the sofa across from him, tucking my bare feet under my long skirts. “What brings you here today, your highness?”

He looks unsurely at my ladies-in-waiting, so with a smile, I dismiss them. When they’re gone, he sits back. “Alex, please.” He smiles at me, reminding me of the way he acted last night, but then snaps back to seriousness. “Cass wants to know if you are holding a meeting tonight. She says that tonight’s feast will be a good time for us to slip away.

I shrug, feeling as though the weight of the world is crushing me. “I have no idea. I will try to, though.”

Alex nods. “Will you be at the Council meeting today?”

I smile at the thought of the meeting. “Yes, indeed. I have some tricks up my sleeve, as far as trade agreements go, at least. My scribe and I are prepared.”

“Good. I’ll look forward to seeing you there… Ria.” Although he hesitates before calling me before my nickname, he smiles at me brilliantly after he says it, and I can’t help but smile back.

After escorting him to the door, I retreat back into my bedchamber, calling Serafine back in. “Fetch a healer.” A pounding has begun at the base of my neck and my temples, and as I crawl back into bed, a wave of exhaustion washes over me.

Serafine looks at me for a second, worried, but quickly leaves, calling for a messenger as she goes. I wriggle back into the blankets, wondering why I’m so cold.

A few minutes later, the head healer, Muirinn, walks in, her assistants behind her. She looks tired, and I realise with a pang of guilt that she hasn’t likely slept to nurse my father.

Still, when she sits down beside me, she betrays none of her weariness. “How are you, princess?”

I let one shoulder shrug. “I’m sure I’m fine. I’ve just been feeling dizzy. And cold.”

A frown furrows her brow for a moment before she smiles brightly- too brightly. “Well, that doesn’t sound too bad. Let’s take a look, shall we?” Her smooth hands grasp mine, and I feel her magic pulse around mine, darting, touching, looking.

When she opens her eyes again, she turns to one of her assistants, who places a piece of covered iron in her hand. Instinctively, I cringe away from it, but steel myself and manage not to scream when she uncovers it and presses it to my neck. A wave of weakness spreads over me as the freezing heat spreads through my heart. Just as I feel as though I’ll faint, Muirinn withdraws the iron and drops it into the attendant’s hands, who tosses it into the fire. I press a finger to the place where the iron touched me and wince when I touch the blistered, charred flesh.

She presses a vial of green sludge into my hands, and I choke it down somehow, stifling a gag. Finally, she presses a needle to my skin, causing a single drop of blood to well up. She catches it in a crystalline bowl as it falls and wraps her magic around it, looking more and more tired by the second. When she finishes, her entire face is clouded with worry.

I sit up straighter, waiting for her verdict. “Well? What is it?”

Her deft fingers pick at her apron as she speaks. “Your blood has the same poison in it that the king’s did, your highness.” Her hawk-like eyes watch me carefully.

I press my eyes closed, trying to stem the tide of panic that is threatening to pour out of my mouth. “Am I dying?” Breathing seems more difficult, and I can feel the world pressing down upon me.

A barely audible sigh escapes Muirinn’s lips. “Thankfully not, princess.” At her words, I open my eyes again, waiting for her to go on. “There isn’t enough in your bloodstream for anything too serious to happen.” She looks around the room suspiciously. “Have you been doing much magic recently, your highness?”

My mind flashes back to last night, about how much magic and energy I’d used. A knowing gleam glints in her eyes, so I nod. “Somewhat more than usual, I suppose.” I remain purposefully vague, and thankfully, she doesn’t press me for answers.

“Then that’s what brought this on. This poison, whatever else it does, mainly works by feeding upon the victim’s energy and magic. My advice to you is that you speak to your guards and have your clothes and linens inspected thoroughly. I’ve already sent one of my assistants to check on your taster, to see if that how the poison is getting to you.” With another look over the room, she rises. “Be careful, princess. Don’t use too much of your magic for the next few days. Indeed, you must be more powerful than anyone thought, or that iron I used on you would have put you to sleep.” With a grim smile, she nods purposefully to me.

Her attendants collect her things, and she leaves quickly, with no ceremony. I sit back, breathing deeply and wondering how to manage the work I have. When I get back out of bed, my skin is warmer, and when I stretch, no dizziness comes over me. Pulling pale white boots on, I leave my chambers after instructing Serafine to have something ready for me to eat when I get back.

Now to find Captain Wyrnson, and find out if he knows where the poison is coming from. As I walk, a scullery maid, rounds a corner, walking quickly, and trips on her skirt, stumbling into me. Her face turns bright red, and she runs away, a terrified expression of her face. I study her retreat, frowning, until a slip of paper on the floor catches my eye.

Checking to make sure no one’s around, I bend down and pick it up. Unfolding it, I stare at the paper, trying to make some sense of the gibberish that is written. The only clear thing is the seal pressed into the end of the page- a crown with a knife thrust through it, with what looks like the sails of a ship behind them.

Suddenly, understanding dawns upon me. Arianna must have found something, and wanted me to find her. I sigh, adding yet another thing that I must do to the rapidly growing list in my head. Tucking the note into my bodice, I continue on my way, wondering what I’ll tell Captain Wyrnson.

Comments & reviews · 4
User avatar
Pompadour
Review
Pompadour wrote a review Review · Jul 31, 2016

Hello! I'll make this quick, seeing as I don't have much to comment on this time around.

Happy Review Day~

So maybe it's because I've taken a bit of a break from reading Thrallmagic and have only reread this chapter now that the voice seems a tad stilted to me. Ria is, as per usual, very in-control of things, and while we've started to see more of who she is as a person, we still spend very little time inside her head. Quite often, it feels like she's listing events down as they happen, and I'm really longing for internal reactions to her surroundings--something to bridge the emotional disconnect between Ria and the reader. There's a lot of narration, and lots of opportunities for you to expand on scene, but we cartwheel through all of them rather quickly--I'm left rather wanting for more interaction rather than being informed of the steady, but fleeting, moments of interaction that are to come. The scene with Alex, for example, I think could be built upon--not necessarily romantically, but in a manner that builds in to the rest of the plot.

And while I'm keen on seeing how their relationship develops--DOESN'T ALEX HAVE ACTUAL WORK TO DO? I mean, if he's Crown Prince, then he's basically a king in training, and being a prince is no trifle. So I'd really like to get a deeper looksee into his motivations, goals, and aims, instead of him serving as simply a love interest for Ria. First person perspective makes characterisation for secondary characters difficult, but we can make up for being unable to see into their heads by having Ria keep up a steady stream of commentary on what she thinks about them.

You have a good handle on pacing--and I'm sounding like a broken record here, but it's true. I do think, though, that while you have this fantastic ability of making things happen in a short space of time and not risk boring us, there are times when things happen in too quick a succession for us to really feel excited for anything.

On worldbuilding--I really really want to get a feel of what the situation is in the country. We haven't seen much of it, and I'm wondering how the queen is holding up while Ria's dad is sick, as well as what kind of ruler she is versus what kind of ruler Ria thinks /she/ could make. Right now, everything's a bit up in the air, but I hope it settles down soon enough.

Lindon is such a cutie and I love him so much.

Keep writing! You already know I love this novel and I'm keen to see what you do with it. <3 Keep it up!

Hope this helped.

~Pomp x

User avatar
Vervain
Review
Vervain wrote a review Review · Jan 31, 2016

Hey, Rora! So I really haven't read the rest of this novel, so I apologize if I don't critique overarching plot and characterization; I'll be focusing instead on issues I see in this chapter, mostly technical.

Let me start off by saying your first paragraph needs to be split into about three and you desperately need to vary the syntax. This is an issue that carries throughout the rest of your chapter, and I wouldn't doubt it carries through the rest of the novel, but the first paragraph of this chapter makes it incredibly difficult to read and digest due to how, well, repetitive it is.

Most of your sentences are very simple and consist of "Subject verbed" or "Subject verbed, verbing" in some order. If you don't want to bore your readers, you need to change how you compose your sentences, because all of these similar sentences in a row—especially in a first-person perspective where most of them start with "I"—are really dull to read.

In addition, watch how many times you make your characters do things—"Lindon sits up with a huge yawn and stretches. Sitting up, he begins to look for his boots." Unless Lindon lay back down between those sentences, you shouldn't have the phrase "sitting up" on the second sentence.

In your conversations, it seems like you're desperately trying to avoid talking heads, so you add meaningless actions in-between the dialogue. The problem with this is that they really are unnecessary sentences; if you want to expand your prose, show what the characters are feeling and thinking, not just that your MC is snuggling into the blankets and Lindon is turning around and whatnot.

These are the main issues I have with this chapter, so I'll leave off here! Don't want to overload you, haha. Keep writing!

Thanks, reine, quite helpful!

User avatar
kman134
Review
kman134 wrote a review Review · Oct 19, 2015

This was a very interesting, yet entertaining, piece. although i did find the grammar a little bit hard to understand, making it difficult to follow. like when you put, "When I wake", did you mean "when i woke up"?

Also, I noticed some spelling errors within some of the sentences:

"I continue one my way" "I continued on my love."

All and all, it's still a creative chapter and wish for you to continue your story. I hope my review helped a bit, though.

User avatar
SoVirgoMaleke
Comment
SoVirgoMaleke commented Comment · Oct 19, 2015

I honestly find this entertaining, because your trying. I also think that your imagination is vivid. I honestly wonder what drives you. You should continue...and use what plays with your emotions to your advantage, when making a story. Good luck, and if any questions you let me know. •///• BTW...This is a review. Later, loves. ^ῳ^



i love writing and i have absolutely no idea what i'm doing
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