"Why," she asks of him,
Why is the world this way?
How can night bring endless cold
even after the most blistering day?
Why do the salmon swim
so fast and far upstream
and why do mothers sing
when their children have bad dreams?
Why does the whole world turn
and go 'round and 'round the sun?
Why does fire burn
but provide the warmth we love?"
He couldn't say,
and so he sent her away.
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Canary word: Present
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,832 Reviews
Hey
I read your poem and firstly, I really like it and the way sentences and lines have been framed, also the words used have a very soothing tune to them, and it makes the poem on the softer side rather than the harsher one.
The way you have started the sentence and then ended it in next line, example:
'Why does fire burn
But provide the warmth we love?'
this is continued throughout and gives the same meter in the poem which makes the poem sound even better.
I would like to read more of your writings
Good Luck, in general
Please don't give up on writing.
-B.
Hey there! CaptainSaltWater here with a review for you!
I really like this. It's simple! On some lines though, you started a sentence, when that line finished, you didn't put anything there, and then on the next line, you started another sentence. Here is an example.
Why do the salmon swim
So fast and far upstream
The first line, you started a sentence, ended the line, started a new line with the first letter capitalized. You did that in other places of the poem too. Otherwise, good job. It rhymes, the topic reaches the meaning of the title. Great job! I would like to see more of your poetry! Don't give up and always write, TheBlackSheep!
-CaptainSaltWater