"Why," she asks of him,
Why is the world this way?
How can night bring endless cold
even after the most blistering day?
Why do the salmon swim
so fast and far upstream
and why do mothers sing
when their children have bad dreams?
Why does the whole world turn
and go 'round and 'round the sun?
Why does fire burn
but provide the warmth we love?"
He couldn't say,
and so he sent her away.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,637 Literary Works • 673,574 Reviews
Hey
I read your poem and firstly, I really like it and the way sentences and lines have been framed, also the words used have a very soothing tune to them, and it makes the poem on the softer side rather than the harsher one.
The way you have started the sentence and then ended it in next line, example:
'Why does fire burn
But provide the warmth we love?'
this is continued throughout and gives the same meter in the poem which makes the poem sound even better.
I would like to read more of your writings
Good Luck, in general
Please don't give up on writing.
-B.
Hey there! CaptainSaltWater here with a review for you!
I really like this. It's simple! On some lines though, you started a sentence, when that line finished, you didn't put anything there, and then on the next line, you started another sentence. Here is an example.
Why do the salmon swim
So fast and far upstream
The first line, you started a sentence, ended the line, started a new line with the first letter capitalized. You did that in other places of the poem too. Otherwise, good job. It rhymes, the topic reaches the meaning of the title. Great job! I would like to see more of your poetry! Don't give up and always write, TheBlackSheep!
-CaptainSaltWater