Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for mature content.
I consider myself bilingual
Because I can read the stories
Of hatred and failure
That are written across my body
And spelled out in my scars.
I am fluent in this language of blood and blades
But I warn against learning it
Because it is a pain filled tongue
That you can never read
Save for what you yourself have written.
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Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,832 Reviews
Wow. Talk about a wonderfully misleading title! This was NOT what I was expecting at all! I wouldn't change a thing about this! Congratulations on a wonderfully written piece!
This is one of those poems that could stick with you for days. The thought of blood and blades being a language, thus making the speaker bilingual in a sense. When I first opened this title I certainly did not think that this would be the poem I was getting.
Nevertheless, I was pleasantly surprised.
Keep up the good work.
Hi there!
All I can say about this is that the metaphor use in this poem is absolutely brilliant! Each line is very evocative and paints a picture before the reader's eyes, one of poignant pain and despair, but also beautiful in its own way.
These are easily my favourite lines in the poem, conveying so many layers and shades of meaning. You can never understand the true depth of another's pain unless you've felt it and experienced it yourself (or at least that's how I'm interpreting these lines. If I'm wrong, please feel free to correct me). So true, and at the same time, very aesthetically presented. I am rather in awe of your writing!
The only advise I can offer is that the poem as a whole is a bit too straightforward, without much ornamentation or use of poetic devices. Of course, the last three lines more than make up for it, with their profound depth and beauty, but the rest of the poem reads a bit like a prose piece. I think this poem would be even more powerful and evocative if the points you made were presented a bit more subtly and aesthetically. Of course, its easy to go to the other extreme with creating meaningless pieces full of pithy phrases but no real depth. But this poem is very profound and truthful at its core, so a little decoration would serve to make it even more attractive to readers.
Overall, this was quite fantastic! Keep writing more such wonderful pieces!
Hey,
Amazing poem! You have a beautiful idea being depicted here and I love it. I can tell this came from something truly beautiful within you. My one little nitpick would probably have to be your almost complete lack of punctuation. To me punctuation helps make the poetic world go around. Also not every line as to be capitalized (I found this out recently). I think my favorite part of this story is that you brought in cutting. I know its weird but I've been struggling with depression for awhile and even wound up in the psych ward for awhile so poems like this make me feel a bit more at home with my scars. This is a amazing poem. If you ever need something just Pm me and I'll give you my email. Thank you for writing this.
Sincerely,
Collideascope.
my qualm is that hatred and failure is universal. loneliness is too.
(Ed sheeran said) all of these scars will bleed...
but you know, they heal over time, eventually, even if you never forget them. That hate and failure separates itself from you until you can no longer read it.
take it from me.
THe poem is interesting, but i wish you wouldve added more.
It seems to me this was a peom telling a story but its not compelete.
Where the rest ... ......... ..... .... ... ... . That what im looking for. Your good at Grabbing someone intetion, but you need to try and hold on to the reader.
"That are written across my body
And spelled out in my scars."
Love this part, very Good. Very discrible words, and it seems to me like she has a domened in her. Or maybe if shes trying to find herself, but all this non encourging words is getting to her.
But i wish this was longer you should keep writing. Also you should make these in a Poerty into a story but dont change the contect of it. Keep it in poem form.
But Byeeeee ! Im Off this