You say something,
they say you're wrong!
You say nothing,
They say you ain't strong!
You do something,
they say you're crazy!
You don't do anything,
they say you're lazy!
So how do you fight?
So how to do it right?
Just shout on their faces,
"that you'll do alright!"
And then,prove it!
They'll challenge you,
they'll question you,
they'll stop you,
they'll distract you,
they'll threaten you,
they'll kill you!
But you don't look besides.
you snatch what you want.
you let the spirit reside
and let the spirit haunt
Your soul!
And now that you got it,
just shout on their faces,
"That you'll do alright!"
Now that you've proved it!
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140,131 Literary Works • 673,029 Reviews
Hello, Tammi. I kind of liked this at the beginning but when you got to the end the punch faded. It wasn't as strong at the end. I think you should look this over again and count the syllables in the lines and try to do some matching. That helps a lot. Also, it would have a better kick to it if you ended the poem with the words "Prove it!" since it's your title and work you don't have to but repetition can be good in some cases. Keep writing and never get discouraged!
~Keepwriting
Thanks, mate!
This poem had a lot of good things about it but it could be a little better.Like when you said that they would distract you you just keep going and that is true,but you could add a lot of more interesting things to make the poem better.Also one of the things is that it is one of the works that is very inspiring to different people,like for me it inspired me to do a lot of things and to that I say thank you for inspiring me.Then one of the things that helped me was when you said your not strong you tell them yes you are,and that made me do a lot more things when I write,but keep writing I think you will get better the more you write.Also keep writing poems your good at that.
Thanks! personally, this is the most encouraging thing i have heard..felt honored to hear that this poem served its purpose well...
Well the poem is nice but could be better.
keep writing!
thanks!