I try to be me
they say i am crazy
I don't mind being crazy
because its better than being lazy!
Lazy to be yourself.
follow the crowd
and lose yourself!
Lazy, to appreciate yourself
and you end up
dying in despair!
Everyone demands attention
everyone wants to be
the center of attraction
but, ask yourself
why is koh-i-noor so worthy
when its just a piece of stone?
why is sun so preached
when it is called the smallest of stars?
why were you made
when billions of people
already existed !
Duplicates may be valuable
but originals are idolized.
until you discover
who you truly are
you are living to die,
the day you learn to prioritize your individuality
YOU ARE ALIVE!
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140,139 Literary Works • 673,032 Reviews
I really like the message of this poem I'm not a huge fan of poetry but I enjoyed it. It really reminded me of a Melanie Martinez song I heard but I think it's definitely a common topic nothing groundbreaking. This definitely has a nice flow to it. The formatting is a little strange I think that the punctuation is different in spots and the caps at the end is strange because it wasn't there before. I really like the last few lines they really paint an image. I would love to see what else you do.
I really like the message of this poem I'm not a huge fan of poetry but I enjoyed it. It really reminded me of a Melanie Martinez song I heard but I think it's definitely a common topic nothing groundbreaking. This definitely has a nice flow to it. The formatting is a little strange I think that the punctuation is different in spots and the caps at the end is strange because it wasn't there before. I really like the last few lines they really paint an image. I would love to see what else you do.
Poetry often exists to solidify the essence and meaning of things, and this poem is a good example. However there are some things you can improve to better convey your message. Pros: To start with, I like the theme and overall message of the poem, to treasure individuality and not hide it for social leverage. The reference to the sun was a nice touch but it was hard for me to grasp the idea of the koh-i-noor, this isn't against you, I just need to do research. Comparing how our presence is less relevant than our originality is a nice concept but otherwise somewhat of a cliche, but hey, don't worry about that stuff just yet, write what you want and originality will follow. And you provided a very powerful ending, that's practically a priority. A few cons though: Each author must have their own distinguishable format, but this format seems a bit choppy and random without a pattern (if there is a pattern please tell me, I may just not see it now). Now if you wanted to touch this up I suggest more rhythm and organization, I wasn't quite sure if this was free verse or actual rhyming.. Improvement in grammar and punctuation is also a must and the noticeable errors degrade the quality. Overall I have to say this poem has an excellent backbone but touching up and improving should be done in order to create a better overall piece of art. Thank You for your poem and attention to my review!
Thank you so much for reviewing! and trust me, i will make sure to work on all areas of weakness you have made! thanks for the acknowledgement!