Hello, Overwatchful here for a quick review!
I wish I had found this work earlier! It was very good. You're writing skills are impressive, and I am looking forward to reading more of this story!
I don't really have any critiques, except that I saw a few misspellings, so I would advise some more proofreading. Other than that, I think that maybe this is a lot happening in just the prologue, and that some of this could have been more developed in the early chapters, but that's up to you. Last suggestion is that I am surprised that Vecova calls Ayaka a serpent right in front her father. That doesn't really feel like someone who valued their life would do. But thats just a thought, and maybe you have an explanation for why the emporer lets that slide.
Like Liminality said, I think that your main character is presented well, and you describe her emotions beautifully. Your dialogue feels real and relatable, but appropriate for this setting, so kudos for that! I also really like the font you chose. What's the name of it?
Anyway, good job once again, and I hope to read more of this soon!
Happy Review Day from the Clever Elves!
Overwatchful
Points: 5578
Reviews: 120
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