Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for mature content.
Am I the only one who walks down the sidewalk,
one foot in front of the other, slow and deliberate,
eyes to the ground,
heart to the skies,
while she spends a quiet moment
brooding over an innocent love?
Is there nobody left who cares
to give themselves wholly
to another human being
who is equally deserving?
Where is the love I used to dream of
now replaced by hookups, long nights, and stupor?
Us believers are here,
but sparsely dispersed,
hiding amongst those who have forgotten themselves
to the sin.
Have you, too, left us
– Left me,
musing,
asking
“Am I the only one?”?
No.
To my surprise,
you are here,
like me,
but
shrouded in a mist so dense I can barely sense you.
Even if no one else believes,
I do,
And I hope
that you find me someday,
In the sea of
those who don’t.
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139,372 Literary Works • 672,541 Reviews
StarLord here with a grand review (ha ha ha)
i can't find anything wrong with this. so i'll just say a few words of encouragement-this was deep, and definitely awesome. i love the way you used your words. may favorite lines-
1. Is there nobody left who cares
to give themselves wholly
to another human being
who is equally deserving?
2. Even if no one else believes,
I do,
And I hope that you find me someday,
In the sea of those who don’t.
3. Us believers are here,
but sparsely dispersed,
hiding amongst those who have forgotten themselves
to the sin.
you r indeed quite a poet, quite a poet indeed.
Thank you
EverLight here with a review. This review is not intended to offend or hurt you or make your novel or poem seem bad, but be warned- you may feel offended
First Impression
Whew doggy! That was deep. Your last line really stuck with me.
Nitpicks & Grammar
I couldn't find anything wrong with your grammar.
Style & Flow
Your style was flawless. Perfectly flawless.
Overall this was amazing! Awesome job!
Thank you.
I write what comes to mind, and then revise to make sure I get my point across. Sometimes thoughts can be messy, and learning how to present them well on paper is a skill I am still trying to perfect.
I understand. I've been writing for a long time as well. Yeah, thoughts can certainly get messy!
Your welcome.
I'm sorry it wasn't much of a review though XD.
But I understand how much a little encouragement and praise mean to an author.