Wow, this is kinda meta. IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE!!! Love this!!!
z
A/N: HAR HAR STRANGE YOU COMEDIC GENIUS-Some reviewer who hates this poem and has a blatant sense of sarcasm. I understand that this poem is bad, and is intended. ;)
Wear a,
Lampshade.
Tear off a,
Band aid.
Attempt to be,
Poetic.
Eventually being,
Pathetic.
Always,
Rhyme.
Never having the,
Effort to.
Poetic.
I love how you said that it is intended to be a bad poem. This is hilarious, and I gues I am one of those "reviewer who hates this poem and has a blatant sense of sarcasm" Only i love it!!
I was going across the works in the past literary spotlight section and came across this poem. First of all, it is 100 percent true. Second, it is so humorous. Third, it is unique. Fourth, it is sarcastic. Fifth, it is ironic (writing about a poem through a poem, huh). Sixth, it has an awesome title. Seventh, no grammar mistakes. And last of all, I LOVED IT.
Okay, a little bit of pretext here.
I was looking through the featured works on the homepage, and I saw how long the title of this piece is. At first I was utterly disgusted (no title needs to be that long, after all; it's actually quite off-putting). And then I read it. I didn't hesitate in giving it a read after that.
This poem isn't good - at least, not in the traditional sense. But it's fantastic. Well done.
Hello Srange! Gymnast2801 here with a review!
Hahahaha! I love this 'poem'! I have never been able to write a poem and this gets pretty much everything! Love it!
I have nothing to courtiqu you on because it's not supposed to rhym, all words are spelled properly, and I feel like the words you use are quite satisfying.
Wonderful job with this and keep writing!
Nice! I especially like the rhyming of 'poetic' and 'pathetic'. Not much else to review, but it was hilarious.
Hahahahaha what Xd it made a little sense then in the last stanza it was like , no .
I love it >.<
Mwahaha. I enjoyed it.
In my college English class, we were attempting to define the boundaries of what "qualifies" as a poem. Your satirical tone throughout this "poem," (I simply use quotes because it's a satire of poetry; no malice intended), ties the explanatory title and stanzas together. In reference to a few of the reviews left down below, I would like to clarify why stanza three is significant in my perspective.
The previous stanzas imitate the typical rhyming pattern of a stereotypical poem. The third stanza, however, breaks that pattern.
"Always,
Rhyme.
Never having the,
Effort to.
Poetic."
I find this to be the most comical twist of the entire poem, in the ironic sense. As I read through the reviews below, it seemed many were confused about the format of this stanza. They suggested you to change or reformat it because it ends in an awkward phrase. I say, leave it as is!
For those who didn't understand the last stanza, here is what I took away from it:
The stanza begins with "Always, Rhyme," but does not in itself rhyme. Irony! Gotta love it! The last phrase: "Never having the, Effort to. Poetic." I personally read that in a lazy-tone. I read it as if the narrator wasn't motivation to rhyme anymore and ends with a snort: "poetic."
Again, this is how I interpreted it. I don't know if that's how you intended it to be, but reader's perception + poetry. Yay.
I would like to leave you with one last praise: I haven't reviewed anything in awhile. Not much has caught my eye lately, but yours definitely has. I also felt like that last stanza deserved justice for how much weight it carries in your poem, at least to me.
Keep up the good work and let me know if you ever want me to take a look at anything in the future.
-Jade
Wow, Strange. I have to tell you, this was the best poem I've seen since mine.
Good job! I honestly have nothing to critique since this was intentionally pathetic (at least I think so) so I'll just say this was great. Love the title!
Wow, Strange. I have to tell you, this was the best poem I've seen since mine.
Good job! I honestly have nothing to critique since this was intentionally pathetic (at least I think so) so I'll just say this was great. Love the title!
I thought this was funny. A poem has never made me laugh before. The title makes it about ten times better.
I have to say,
i need to know,
When did you stoop so low?
You wrote and wrote, thought and thought, all for this?
I have to say,
I need to know,
How did you know?
You knew you knew, you know you know.
How could i stoop so low?
You thing, i know, You know i think.
Either way we are both the same
I'm going to tell you right now, i honestly just liked because of the title, but i was not disappointed!
Review in the form of a poem:
You are
A fantastic poet.
I am
Forever jealous.
Teach me
Great Poetic Master!
Stay Groovy
My Strange Friend
And let your poetic inspiration
Never end.
Please.
10/10. liked. tried to follow but already following. amazing as always. time to go browsing your poetry portfolio.
Stay groovy my friend,
Hadj
Haha, I loved the intent of this poem. It was just perfect, and your style and content fitting the intent perfectly. The author's note explains it all.
10/10 Keep writing!
+1
Oh, my God. I can't stop laughing.okay so now that that's out of the way
I basically second fortis' critique, except that I think the current rhyme scheme works just fine--until the third stanza. I'll come back to that in a minute, but first: I think the rhyme scheme works because, although there is not a single sound that you follow through with, you consistently use the ABCB pattern (that is, every second line rhymes. I know what I mean, darn it. I just feel like I'm explaining it badly.)
Now, back to that third stanza.
I do understand this is meant to be bad to prove a point, but I think in the context of your title the third stanza needs to follow the same rhyme scheme of the first two stanzas. Instead, it degenerates into English that barely makes sense. ("Never having the, effort to?") So I'd suggest revisiting that stanza so it matches up better with your title--after all, if you're writing badly to prove a point, your bad writing has to follow through on the point.
In other news, I love the unneeded commas at the ends of lines. SO MANY PEOPLE DO THAT.
Blue
This is quite hard to review... I don't really understand it.
Maybe I'm not reading it right. I don't know, its hard to understand for me, but it is good.
For me there is mystery in it because I don't understand it and I think that is what makes it so brilliant.
I really enjoyed it. It made me feel...*thinking*..... I DON'T KNOW!!
It's really confusing to me but at the sane time it is a brilliantly simple.
Rally interesting..
HAR HAR STRANGE YOU COMEDIC GENIUS.
What is the rhyme pattern here? .-.
Anywho. I will attempt to review. (see what I did there eh? eh.)
I appreciated your title. Few people can pull off a title as brilliant as that. I especially liked your adverb: Ridiculously. That sums up the poem I think. And that was the point.
You started off good with the first stanza. Your rhyming pattern was clear. The symbol of wearing a lampshade is a great one to use with this poem for obvious reasons.
The tearing off of a band aid is also a good symbol for this poem, because it's painful.
Your intended "badness" of a poem is hard to critique, but you did a pretty good job on forcing the point and making it bad. So that's good. You succeeded.
I actually really like the second stanza. I find that I can relate to it on many levels. Mostly because sometimes I'm told to write a poem, and when I'm forced to do that, it ends up being, as you said, pathetic. You cant force poetic-ness. even if you were trying to avoid having a point, I think you made one. And I appreciated its simplicity. This applies to the first two lines of the last stanza as well.
But the last three lines of the poem confused me. They were probably supposed to. Perhaps you could clarify by having a verb in there somewhere after "to?" Y'know, the way english teachers tell you to write. But of course this is intended to be bad, and how could it not be bad if you don't forget everything your teacher told you?
I'm going to pretend that there's a "be" after "to." Now I'm satisfied.
Other than this, I think your title is misleading because you don't have a rhyming pattern. It degenerates into nothingness. So can it really be called a poem if it doesn't really have a rhyming pattern? Something to think about.
Well I don't know what you wanted from a reviewer, but there is that.
Have a good life.
~fortis
Points: 755
Reviews: 27
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