Reid looked around the police department, trying to focus on anything but the problem at hand. Why would the Unsub copy Tobias? What's so special about Tobias? Was he targeting the team? Did he know our team would be on this case? Is he targeting me? Is he - no. No, don't think like that. That's selfish. He sighed, there were so many questions, yet so little answers.
"Reid," Morgan said, breaking Reid out of his trance, "It's time to deliver the profile." Earning a nod from Reid, they both headed towards the room filled with police officers waiting for a profile to catch their killer.
"Ready?" Hotch asked, as they walked into the room.
"Ready." Reid replied, settling into his place in the front of the room.
Hotch then cleared his throat, gaining everyone's attention, and began. "We believe your Unsub is definitely a white male, ranging from his mid-30's to mid-40's. He is highly religious, and is likely living in an isolated location."
"He is only killing within this town, which leads us to believe that he lives, or has lived, in this town, or has a specific attachment towards it," Morgan continued.
"Actually, he is not only killing in the same town, but in the same neighborhood," Reid started. "The murders are only 1.5 street blocks apart, indicating that, if he does have a special attachment towards this town, it has something to do with this certain area."
"There is also the aspect of him killing again," Rossi stated.
"If he continues with his pattern, he will most likely kill another couple by tomorrow morning, if not caught," JJ added.
"We also strongly believe that he is copying the crimes of Tobias Hankel," Hotch added.
"Why's that?" one of the officers asked.
"We had also worked that case, and may of the acts are not only similar, but exactly the same," Reid simply stated as the officer nodded in, what he hoped was, comprehension.
"That's all for now," Hotch concluded. "We'll let you know if we find out more."
With that, the team headed out of the room and were going back to their files, when Morgan's phone rang. He looked at the caller ID and, seeing it was Garcia, motioned the team over towards the murder board.
"Hey baby girl, you're on speaker," he said as he answered the call and put his cell in the middle of the nearby table.
"Hey Morgan, I've got somethin' for ya," she replied.
"'Kay, shoot," he said.
"Okay, well I was looking into the police reports of your victims' murders, and I found a witness at your latest couple's murder. And get this: he was even the one to call 911....just like last time," she finished.
"Okay, thanks Garcia," he said, and hung up.
"Let's go then," Hotch said as he and the rest of the team exited the department.
End of chapter
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139,347 Literary Works • 672,539 Reviews
Halo SpencerReidIsMyLife my name is jessiebear and I am going to do a review on your work. I do hope what I say is in any help to you. If it is rood will you pleas tell me and if it is rood I am very sorry about it.
Lets start with what I liked about the chapter.
What I liked.
This is a grate chapter it is even better then chapter 1 and chapter 2 and chapter 3 so grate job, and what I liked all about this chapter is that you still pout a lot of emotions in to it so grate job again, and how you are all ways is trying to in kluged Reid in the convert sashes. I also loved the way you began the chapter.
Grammar.
The grammar is fantastic I do not see any thing wrong with it. so you did a grate job with that part of the chapter because I think grammar is very in portent. .
What needs to be fixt.
Okay lets start and review your chapter.
(Reid looked around the police department, trying to focus on anything but the problem at hand. Why would the Unsub copy Tobias? What's so special about Tobias? Was he targeting the team? Did he know our team would be on this case? Is he targeting me? Is he - no. No, don't think like that. That's selfish. He sighed, there were so many questions, yet so little answers.)
There is one spelling mistake in this paragraph. and describe the police department a little if you no what I mean if you don't describe then I di have a lot of difficulty seeing where we are and all that.
Okay and now lets talk about this paragraph.
( "Reid," Morgan said, breaking Reid out of his trance, "It's time to deliver the profile." Earning a nod from Reid, they both headed towards the room filled with police officers waiting for a profile to catch their killer.)
I think you should describe the police officers like are that very series stuff like that if you now what I mean. bout any way this is a grate chapter.
Thins that need to be added.
Okay this is grate bout you need to ad a lot more into this chapter. You need to ad smell, sound and most in portend one in site. these are the ones that I can just think of at the moment but any way this is grate well done.
Any way I do hope you keep on weighting grate chapters, and I am looking for word to reading chapter 5 and doing a review on it for you, and I have ben noticing that on each chapter you get better at your weighting so well done you are in proving a lot.
So I do hope you have a grate day are night and I with you like with the story.
I have to say I'm impressed you got this posted so soon after third chapter was up (I post less than once a month, normally XD Snail's pace.) *Thumbs up* Then again this chapter is quite short, so...
Well, this is definitely leading somewhere. I wonder what the team will do with the information Garcia has given them, because it's telling them that this copycat's scarily good/accurate. All I will say is, remember that you told us at the beginning that they were missing some of the case's finer details. Consistency is everything, or your plot becomes nigh impossible to follow -- we won't know what's true and/or important anymore. Maybe have the killer slip up or leave his own stamp on a murder (providing that it is a copycat)?
I think it's interesting how you've had Reid question the unsub's motives. It really reminded me of the original purpose of the story, which is definitely a positive result. I don't know about any of the other readers of this, but you should keep coming back to that, and try to explain it. This case is, after all, personal. Right? Don't let it get lost in the rest of the plot!
Your dialogue looks better this chapter. Yay for you! You just put one too many spaces on "'Kay, shoot..." Also, if you have an question mark or an exclamation mark, you don't need the comma (the pause has been created by the punctuation already there, without the need to use a comma).
I don't really know what else to say about such a short chapter. It feels like maybe you need to plan out where you want to go from here, as far as you like. Now they've given the profile decisions have to be made.... Jot down a few ideas as to what these might be, and the choices the team will probably make if possible.
Bear in mind this is just what I would do if I'd produced what you have so far. You may find that another method works better for you...
I think I'm probably just rambling now. Sorry this review wasn't longer...
~Bella~