When the jet landed in Vegas, they all went to the local police department to set up and meet the chief of police. Once there, they each split up into pairs to gather as much information possible in order to create the profile for the local police officers. Morgan and Hotch were to go to the coroner's office, Reid and JJ to the crime scene, and Prentiss and Rossi were to visit the latest victims' families.
At the coroner's office, Morgan started to experience a déjà vu moment as the coroner read off his lab results. Both the man and woman in each couple had virtually the same wounds. Each had their throats slit, a vertical gash up one arm, from their wrist to their elbow, and another down their leg, from their crotch to their upper thigh. All the cuts were deep, large gashes and all near major arteries. Just like the Hankel case, Morgan thought.
"What knowledge of the human anatomy would the killer need in order to do this?" Hotch asked, bringing Morgan back into the conversation.
"Only basic knowledge of the human body," The coroner simply responded. "Actually, it sort of reminds me of when you put an animal to slaughter."
"Just like the Hankel case." Morgan commented towards Hotch, as Hotch nodded in remembrance.
"Thank you for your time, sir." Hotch replied to the coroner, and walked out the door, Morgan tailing behind him.
"Always happy to assist the FBI!" He responded as the two agents walked down the hall, made their way towards their vehicle, and headed back to the police station.
*****************************
Meanwhile, Agents Prentiss and Rossi were talking to the latest victims' families. They had all agreed to meet at one home, as if to make it easier for the two FBI agents.
"325 Bennington Court?" Prentiss asked Rossi as he pulled up to their house. It had a shabby appearance and a some-what unpleasant odor coming from the home. It was a one-floored home and, from the looks of it, could barely fit eight people, no matter two whole families.
"Yep," Rossi sighed. "This is the place."
"Not exactly a rich family," Prentiss commented as she got out of the car, headed towards the door and knocked on it, Rossi right beside her. "Kind of ironic based on why our Unsub's killing."
"What do you mean?" Rossi asked
"Well it's just this house seems so....humble, and he's killing people who are sinners, so -"
"Yeah, I get it," Rossi interrupted just as the door swung open. "Mrs. Harper? FBI." He repeated the regulated phrase once more as they both flipped their badges. "May we come in?"
***************************
All the while, at the crime scene, Reid started to bounce theories off of JJ as they began to go under the yellow crime scene tape.
"I don't know Spence, they weren't exactly poor, I mean, look at this house."
"Actually over half of children born and raised in a poor lifestyle turn out becoming rich, but don't use their fortunes. Plus, just because you're doesn't make you a murder victim."
"Spence, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to - "
"It's fine."
"Spence, I - "
"It's fine, JJ. Now let's just go through this crime scene and catch our Unsub." He then began to search the crime scene for any hints or clues to add to their profile. It had seemed like they had been at it for at least twenty minutes when JJ found something.
"Hey Spence, come look at this." She said pointing at a manila folder on top of the murder victims' living room desk. Reid opened the folder to find all the information on the Hankel case.
"Everything on Hankel," JJ observed. "Why would Henry and Jessica Daniels be studying the Hankel case?"
"I don't think they were," Reid started. "Look at the desk: empty. Every thin is gone except for the folder. That's too clean, even for OCD. That's not just strange, it's suspicious."
"you think the Unsub left it?"
"I think it's a possibility. Let's go tell Hotch. He should add this to the profile." Reid said as he and JJ headed out of the crime scene and into their car.
End of chapter
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139,345 Literary Works • 672,539 Reviews
Halo SpencerReidIsMyLife my name is jessiebear and I am going to do a review on your work. I do hope what I say is in any help to you. If it is rood will you pleas tell me and if it is rood I am very sorry about it.
Lets start with what I liked about the chapter.
What I liked.
This is a grate chapter it is even better then chapter 1 so grate job, and what I liked all about this chapter is that you still pout a lot of emotions in to it so grate job again, and how you are all ways is trying to in kluged Reid in the convert sashes. I also loved the way you began the chapter to.
Grammar.
The grammar is fantastic I do not see any thing wrong with it. so you did a grate job with that part of the chapter.
What needs to be fixt.
Okay lets start with this paragraph witch needs to be in proved the most.
( At the coroner's office, Morgan started to experience a déjà vu moment as the coroner read off his lab results. Both the man and woman in each couple had virtually the same wounds. Each had their throats slit, a vertical gash up one arm, from their wrist to their elbow, and another down their leg, from their crotch to their upper thigh. All the cuts were deep, large gashes and all near major arteries. Just like the Hankel case, Morgan thought.)
It dose need some work if you ask me but this is me opinion. Okay what I think needs to be fixt in this paragraph is the description. Lets take the body's ad a little bit more description to it that is all.
Thins that need to be added.
Okay this is grate bout you need to ad a lot more into this chapter. You need to ad smell, sound and most in portend one in site. these are the ones that I can just think of at the moment but any way this is grate well done.
Any way I do hope you keep on weighting grate chapters, and I am looking for word to reading chapter 3 and doing a review on it for you. So I do hope you have a grate day are night and I with you like with the story.
Hey, SpencerReidIsMyLife! I'm here to review on behalf of Team Monkey.
When the jet landed in Vegas, they all went to the local police department to set up and meet the chief of police. Once there, they each split up into pairs to gather as much information possible in order to create the profile for the local police officers.
Since opening lines are very important, I thought I'd point this out, but it's not that big of a deal. You use the word 'up' twice in this clump of writing, and it seems repetitive and a bit distracting. I suggest you reword it so that there's only one 'up', you could do this by removing the one after 'split' as it isn't really necessary.
Every thin is gone except for the folder. That's too clean, even for OCD. That's not just strange, it's suspicious."
"you think the Unsub left it?"
There are two typos here, 'everything' instead of 'every thin' and you need a capital You in the last sentence.
Those two things are all I can find to comment on, everything else is pretty good. I like your writing style, it's simple yet communicates the story effectively. It was also a good touch to add the more personal moment, when JJ apologises to Spence. Overall, I think you've got a nice novel coming along, and I hope you continue it!
Hey! Me again. Thank you for giving me something to follow and review!
Is Morgan going to be kidnapped by this copycat? That would be a complication, and it would explain you considering the use of his POV.
Ooh, this is see where this is going...
This seems like what we call a "filler chapter", where the pace is slowed and we as readers are left pondering the information given to us so far. This means you're building up to some action or a revelation, if I had to hazard a guess.... It certainly works to build suspense/tension.
I've been considering what you were saying in your comments last chapter, and... some guesses...
Spoiler
That could totally throw everyone off their game! I think it would make a good story though.
I think the only major grammatical comment I have is that you only end speech with a full stop if you start a new sentence immediately afterwards.
Eg. "I'm leaving." She stormed out of the door with a toss of her hair.
It's different when you have "He should add this to the profile," Reid said.... See how I changed the full stop to a comma, because the sentence continues - the speech is basically part of that sentence. Oh, and unless it's a name, you don't have to capitalise the dialogue tag that comes directly after the speech.
So, "Blah blah," he said, not He said.
Dialogue was my worst nightmare when I started out on here, so I sympathise, I really do.
Probably another typo. "Every thin" should be "everything".
I think some of the sentence structure could be a little better. If you read some of it, it doesn't look right. Like in a song or poem, when you can't have too many syllables in one line. This line is the major example:
It's fine until you start talking about Rossi and Prentiss. I don't think that bit should be stuck on the end of a sentence. Tweak it a little, and the problem will be resolved. Perhaps consider making the one sentence into two?
Other than that, there isn't anything else that jumps out at me. Maybe Stella will catch something I've missed?
Keep me posted!
~Bella~
BellaRoma basically wrote everything I was going to say so I don't feel the need to elaborate except to tell you to keep up the good work!
Let me just write this comment so I can remember to add a review later. I'm glad you updated!