z

Young Writers Society


16+ Language

Hero for Hire: Chapter 10

by Sonder


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.

A/N: I feel like this is a filler chapter, at least in the middle, so I apologize for that. I would have cut more, but I needed to meet LMS requirements, so. There's my excuse. Love you guys. <3

Emma/ Zenith

Emma emerged from the factory doors and immediately doubled over, choking on smoke. Her eyes watered, and her ears rang with the sounds of snapping wood, fire roaring, the popping of tile breaking. 

Rift collapsed to his knees as soon as they passed the threshold, grasping at his side. Blood shone from behind his fingers, gleaming in the dying sun.

Emma tried to speak but fell into a coughing fit. When she recovered, she rounded on Rift.

"Did you do this?"

He looked up. His mask was shifted off-center, smudged with dirt.

"No. I was trying to stop him."

"Really?"

He gave a hiss of pain and curled over, hugging his side. "The bastard shot me. Does that convince you?"

Emma swallowed the flare of panic and scanned her surroundings. A group of employees clustered together in the grassy courtyard outside the front doors, eyes wide with shock. Had they all gotten out?

She straightened, wincing at the new bruises forming on her legs from her falls.

"I have to make sure that everyone's safe," she said, pulling on her Zenith persona like a comfort blanket. It made her voice deeper.

Rift pushed himself up on one knee. "I'll help."

Zenith glanced at the employees watching and pushed a hand into his neck, like she was holding him down. She dropped her voice to a whisper. "You're bleeding, everyone thinks you set off a bomb, and the police are on their way, I'm sure. You need to get out of here."

Rift shook his head, struggling against her hold. "If I run, I'll look guilty."

Zenith shot him a withering glare. "Look guilty, then. I'm not going to let you bleed out or get arrested, not here."

He hesitated, opened his mouth to protest. She gave him a shake by the neck, and he gave a sharp inhale of pain.

"Please leave, Rift. You're in no state to be here."

In response, he fizzed out of her hold, and she fell forward at the sudden absence of a physical body. She caught herself just in time to see him reappear a few feet away, running with a limp towards the giant fence that lined the perimeter. Blood splattered on the concrete behind him.

---

Eli

"Oh god oh god oh god," Eli whispered. His head was pounding, and every step he took sent a streak of pain running up his torso. The bullet wound was just a graze, hardly anything, but dang, if it wasn't a bleeder.

When he'd found the man locking the doors, sweating like a stuck pig in the factory, his gut had immediately told him something was wrong. As soon as the man saw him, he had pulled out the gun. Eli had been too slow to activate his new teleportation device in time. The graze had slowed him down, but he'd managed to catch the man before anything could happen.

Then Zenith had arrived, and... well. Look how well that had gone.

Warehouses stretched out on either side of the empty industrial district road. He had been running between them, phasing through fences, but he was about ready to collapse. A break was required. He approached one building and pressed the button at the bottom of his palm, activating the invisibility and teleportation device. The device was working marvelously, courtesy of Seb.

Eli pushed through the wall. The device had to regain its energy after each episode, not unlike how his original power had worked, and he burst back into being inside the building only a few seconds later. An empty room stretched before him, gray and full of metal junk with unknown purpose.

Eli limped over to the cinderblock wall and collapsed. He yanked the clausterphobic mask from his face and leaned his head against the cold stone, the back of his neck slick with sweat. His withdrawal symptoms had been plaguing him all week, and he didn't know how long they would last. The familiar knife of a migraine dug into his temple. And on top of that, his dumb side wouldn't stop bleeding.

He pulled his phone out of the inner pocket of his suit and unlocked it. A message from Seb glowed on the screen, and he promptly opened the messages app.

Come back quick, read the text. I found something you'll want to see. Probably shouldn't send it here, but it has to do with the P.

It had been sent a little over an hour ago, near the beginning of his mission. Before this all went to hell.

"Shit," he whispered, the realization dawning on him.

He knocked his head into the wall, exhaustion seeping into his core. Of course. This was just Atlas all over again. The Program had found out that he knew, and he had to go. It was only logical. The fact that he had assumed that he could just get away with it, that he thought he could just stop taking the pills and continue as if all was well, was the entirely idiotic part of it.

The watch. Eli bit his cheek so hard he tasted copper. Was he honestly the dumbest human alive?

He flew to his feet and reached for his ankle, where the real Program watch now resided, since Seb's contraption had taken its place on Eli's wrist. He ripped the watch off and cracked it under his heel, grimacing at the sound of snapping glass.

The tracker would have been on until here. It might still be working. He needed to move. There was no time to call Seb to hear what he'd found, and besides, it might not have been safe to talk over the phone anyway.

Eli could have slept for days, could have fallen asleep on the spot, but there wasn't any time. He set his course back to Edgewood.

---

He avoided main roads, light, anything that signaled life that could give him away. He just needed to get to Seb and get out of here.

Maybe I'll move home. No, that might not be safe for his parents. Maybe he and Seb could just grab the car and go on a road trip for a while, find a sympathetic police station, expose the Program to the news. Something. Something that didn't end with him captured or dead or... bleeding out in downtown Bluford.

His thoughts cut back to Zenith, to those poor employees that he'd endangered by letting that man go. He hoped that they were all right, that Zenith had found them all, that the bomb had only been one and had been neutralized.

Gosh, this is a mess.

The campus started to pop up around him, a few academic buildings here and there, before the dorm section. By now, it was completely dark out, and the street lights had been turned on. Rosiello Hall was still alive and wild, of course. Music streamed from some of the open windows into the chill autumn air, and some young men hung out on the front steps with beers in hand.

It all looked normal. Good.

He went in the back door and ran up the stairs, praying that he wouldn't run into anyone. He faded out of view whenever he suspected someone, but the stairwell remained mercifully empty.

When he got to his floor, he immediately turned intangible and ran to his room before he could be spotted. He'd already phased through the wall when he realized that something was off. He couldn't see anything at first, but his gut twisted even before he popped back into being.

When his eyesight returned, it was all he could do to keep from crying out.

The room had been turned upside down, torn from corner to corner like a hurricane had ripped right through it. The desks were collapsed on their sides, and the mattresses ripped and slid halfway onto the floor. The closets had been rooted through, clothes strewn all over the carpet, his succulents were crushed, and there was ink from shattered pens leaking into the carpet. Even the walls had been damaged, huge gashes in the paint running from the back wall to the front.

Eli backed away from the carnage, eyes landing on the crushed computer by the window. Seb's prized possession. The center of his life.

"No," Eli gasped. The bomb, the text from Seb, and now this?

They've taken him. The truth speared him through the temple. No, no. Panic surged up like lava. Something crunched under his foot.

He looked down. A small Post-it note was crumpled into the stained carpet, and he bent down for it, grimacing at the jab of pain in his side.

The first line read, "Supers?" and below that was a list of names. It was all in Seb's handwriting.

Eli didn't know what it meant, but maybe it had to do with Seb's text about the Program. Maybe it would help him find him. He folded it and put it in his suit pocket.

He was about to scour the place for more clues, bile rising up in his throat at the hellish spectacle before him, when he heard the sirens. Red and blue lights flashed in the windows. Shouting.

Eli's eyelids fluttered closed, and he sagged into the bedframe. Exhaustion settled in his bones like concrete. There was blood running down his side. A headache roared in his ears. He was so, so tired. All of this was his fault.

Maybe it would just be better if he stopped running, and gave in.

"Don't let it happen again," Atlas' ghost sighed.

"I already did," Eli whispered, but he hauled himself upright reluctantly. The shouting had moved to the stairwell, echoing upward, accented by the thumping of feet.

He was out of time.

He scooped some clothes and shoved them in his bag, and managed to find some bandages from where his first aid kit lay cracked open on the floor. He was turning towards the window, the one that faced the parking lot, when the door burst open.

"Rift! Eli Wagner! Stay where you are!"

So they knew both of his names now. Should he be surprised?

"Hands up!"

Eli didn't even turn around as he pulled the mask back over his face and slung the backpack over his shoulder. His hands were sticky with slowly drying blood.

" 't wasn't me," he mumbled, suddenly woozy. Everything hurt. His head was full of cotton.

"Freeze!" the police screamed, but Eli couldn't hear them anymore.

He pushed the button on his wrist.

He passed out before he even registered that he had fallen out of the third-story window.

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Tue Sep 18, 2018 1:24 am
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Carlito wrote a review...



More hero for hire <3 <3
Okay, but why you gotta make me feel all these emotions???

Agreed:

First of all HOW DARE YOU LEAVE US ON A CLIFFHANGER LIKE THAT.

Second of all HOW DARE YOU DO THAT TO SEB.

Third of all HOW DARE YOU DO THIS:

"Don't let it happen again," Atlas' ghost sighed.

"I already did," Eli whispered,


:''''''''(


Aaaaaaaaaaand I'm shipping Eli with Happy Zenith now.

Also agreed. And I also want to know if they know each other in the real world.


I really like that Emma clearly cares about Eli. OOOOH CAN THEY TEAM UP AND OVERTHROW THE PROGRAM AND SAVE SEB AND ATLAS (assuming they haven't killed atlas yet....) TOGETHER AND THEN FALL IN LOVE??? <33333333 I would descend into mush in the best way.

I didn't think the middle was filler at all. I liked that we got to see the aftermath and Eli's reaction to everything. I also liked that we got to see more of his powers and more of how they worked. I really was waiting for the "filler" or for things to get boring or something and I was just scrolling and scrolling and scrolling away! :P

The only detail I would maybe add to that section is more information or detail about the withdrawal effects Eli mentioned. I sort of remember him talking about the pills with Seb and what the pills are for, but I don't remember any discussion yet about exactly what happens if he doesn't take them. But I think that middle section is important and useful and obviously the message from Seb is crucial. I love that it gives him a new sense of urgency to the situation like when Harry and Dumbledore get back from the cave in HP6 and Dumbledore is super weak and weary and then he sees the dark mark and is like go time Harry!

So since he destroyed the devices, he has no safe way of trying to get in touch with Seb before he gets back to their room? I like how you did that reveal and how it's very apparent that the program has something to do with this and they're on to him. POOR SEB. I can't wait to find out the significance of that note!

And now poor Eli is getting it from all sides - the police AND the program are after him! It makes me increasingly more curious about the inner workings of the program though. He thinks of exposing the program, so that means the police don't know about its existence. How do they operate and recruit without detection? I'm so curious to find out!

Write cause I want more please!! :D Let me know if you have any questions or if you'd like feedback about something I didn't mention!




Sonder says...


HELLO. Sorry, I've been absolutely drowning in school work for the past few weeks and only just got to these! I hope to post the next chapter or two today, because I have still been writing. Thank you for this review, as always!!!

I really like that Emma clearly cares about Eli. OOOOH CAN THEY TEAM UP AND OVERTHROW THE PROGRAM AND SAVE SEB AND ATLAS (assuming they haven't killed atlas yet....) TOGETHER AND THEN FALL IN LOVE??? <33333333 I would descend into mush in the best way.
YOU PRESENT VERY GOOD IDEAS MY FRIEND. The board will take it under consideration. XD

Thank you thank you. I love all your questions and predictions so much. <3



Carlito says...


<33333333
CAN%u2019T WAIT.



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Mon Sep 17, 2018 1:04 pm
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BluesClues wrote a review...



Aaaaaaaaaaand I'm shipping Eli with Happy Zenith now. Get ready because I'm pretty sure I'm just gonna end up shipping e'rybody with e'rybody. For half a second there, with his mask slipping, I was sure she was going to find out who he really was. Do they know each other out in the real world? Asking for a friend.

OH NO SEB'S SEEN TOO MUCH
OH NO THE COPS KNOW WHO ELI IS
Which could only mean the Program snitched on his true identity, right?! Which actually makes tons of sense and to be honest is both way more effective and way more sinister than simply trying to kill him, because they'll look like the good guy for turning in a supervillain. OH MAN. Filler chapter my bum. I'm not sure why you think that, because consider what's going on in this chapter:

- Eli escapes the area that was just bombed, injured.
- Eli gets a mysterious text from Seb that was sent an hour before the bomb went off, about the Program.
- Eli returns to his dorm to find it torn to shreds and Seb missing (!!!)
- Eli has apparently been found out and has to flee the coppers.

I mean, I fail to see how, well, basically any of this is filler instead of related to the greater plot in some way. Filler chapter. *snort*

He passed out before he even registered that he had fallen out of the third-story window.


This made me giggle but only because we've been reading the Odyssey for one of my English classes and one of Odysseus' men dies just before they leave Circe's island because he's sleeping on the roof or by a window or something, but he's drunk, so when he goes to get down he misses the latter, falls off the roof, and dies, and then Odysseus sees his ghost in the Underworld and it's like they didn't even realize he was missing. Someone in one of the Gospels also falls off a roof or something, but he's just injured and ofc Jesus heals him. Anyway, now I giggle when people fall out of windows, even though that is not at all the appropriate reaction to have.

A final note is, personally I don't care how Seb's device works. But I also don't read tons of sci-fi, so I may not be the right audience to tell you that. But I just wanted to mention it so you know that at least someone doesn't need to know that, before you start freaking out over trying to explain it.

says the person who attempts to never explain any magic ever

*cough*




Sonder says...


HI. I'M ALIVE.

Do they know each other out in the real world? Asking for a friend.
nooooope. nope. but we'll see. >.>

I mean, I fail to see how, well, basically any of this is filler instead of related to the greater plot in some way.
AH, thank you. <3 You've convinced me. I was just irritated with the traveling stuff and trying to get Eli from place to place, haha

Ooh, I like your text-to-text connections. XD Who knew that this dumb story could be compared to the Odyssey AND the Bible?

And thanks for support over tech stuff. <3 I'm probably going to leave those details to revision, heh.

AS ALWAYS I LOVE YOU <333



BluesClues says...


AH, thank you. <3 You've convinced me. I was just irritated with the traveling stuff and trying to get Eli from place to place, haha


BOOD.

Ooh, I like your text-to-text connections.


Reasons I am an English major lol. I can't turn it off now that I'm back in school!



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Mon Sep 17, 2018 4:26 am
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Mea wrote a review...



First of all HOW DARE YOU LEAVE US ON A CLIFFHANGER LIKE THAT.

Second of all HOW DARE YOU DO THAT TO SEB.

Third of all HOW DARE YOU DO THIS:

"Don't let it happen again," Atlas' ghost sighed.

"I already did," Eli whispered,

:''''''''(

-breathes-

Okay, I may be a little emotionally invested in this chapter.

I really love how you keep bringing the stakes higher and higher. It's really keeping the flow of the narrative together and preventing it from stagnating. He mentions his parents and immediately my next fear is that later - not immediately, but a few big turning points down the road - his parents are going to get involved. That they'll get hurt and captured and it'll be his fault. It would be deliciously horrible and so narratively I'm betting it'll happen.

Something I wish was addressed more here, though I'm not sure how you'd go about it, is how this new technology of Seb's works. Basically, we were familiar with the strengths and limitations of Eli's natural powers (how long he can hold them and how it affect him physically), but these artificial powers are a totally different ball game, one that we readers don't know much about. For one, logically the physical limitations of him feeling really sick just aren't there anymore (but you've replaced them by his symptoms of withdrawal, so there's that), but then it's not terribly clear if the invisibility/teleportation can be used separately, and for how long and how long it takes to recharge, and that sort of thing.

I feel like you're basically trying to say they're exactly the same as his previous powers, but in some ways I feel like that's a cop-out. Of course they're going to be similar, but not exactly the same, and I think there's a lot of room to explore those differences - obviously he prefers not being super sick whenever he uses his powers, but then maybe some little quirk keeps throwing him off and almost gets him in trouble.

I do find it a little unlikely that it's implied the only reason the Program knows Eli's trying to investigate them is because of Zeb's text right before the event. I just feel like they're smarter than that and would have already known and been planning this operation for at least a couple of days? Otherwise everything moves really fast and they just don't feel as ominous. Though maybe they did know before, and it's just Zeb's text that prompts Eli to realize what's going on.

The last line felt jarring to me - I think just because I didn't even know he was actually standing near a window at that point, and because it's usually kind of hard to fall out of a window without opening it first. And as soon as I write that I realize duh, he's intangible, but I'm unused to that so my brain was like "what" at first.

I really liked how Emma gets Eli to leave and then we cut back to Eli as he runs. I love that Eli wants to help and Emma has to persuade him to get away.

I think that's about all I've got! This was another great part. I'm still on the edge of my seat. Can't wait for next week!




Sonder says...


okaY I CAN FINALLY RESPOND TO THIS

so sorry, I've been drowning in school work for weeks and only now got time to come and look at this again! thank you so much for your review, as usual <333 I hope to post the next chapters today so as not to keep you waiting any longer!

I'm so, so glad you're (or at least were, since it's been a while, oops) emotionally invested in this. That's honestly the best compliment. <333 and sorry not sorry for all the twists and fun bits (:<

Annnnnd yeah honestly the tech stuff is a bit vague because I haven't put enough thought into it. But it doesn't play a giant role in the story as a whole sooo I figured I can go back to it and fix that up later.

The last line felt jarring to me - I think just because I didn't even know he was actually standing near a window at that point, and because it's usually kind of hard to fall out of a window without opening it first. And as soon as I write that I realize duh, he's intangible, but I'm unused to that so my brain was like "what" at first.

Oh, lol, yeah, I can see that. I'll try to make it clear next time. I just figured that bad things can happen when one turns intangible and loses consciousness. /shrug/

Thank you thank you again! You rock! Sorry to have kept you waiting so long! <333




“Such nonsense!" declared Dr Greysteel. "Whoever heard of cats doing anything useful!" "Except for staring at one in a supercilious manner," said Strange. "That has a sort of moral usefulness, I suppose, in making one feel uncomfortable and encouraging sober reflection upon one's imperfections.”
— Susanna Clarke, Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell