Young Writers Society

It is amazing how in the very first verse you were able to set the mood in my mind. Quiet. This poem IS very realistic, minus the "Everything is dead in every way" verse. We got our first day of winter today out where I live, and I loved it. I love how an overcast winter sky full of snow clouds makes everything looks so grey. I would suggest that you go into more detail with color. You've already got the sound and feeling of winter, just describe the color and this poem might be perfect. Does "Just know these winter days Shall not remain" mean that the seasons change? That verse is not incredibly clear to me. I really do like what you are doing with this poem, I feel like it could be slightly expanded. Asides from that, Great work! Keep it up!

Hey Softballgirl333! Katja here to review your poem! As always please feel free to disregard any comments or suggestions I make if you find them unhelpful. That being said, let's get into the review~

Overall thoughts

I'll be honest- Winter is by far my favorite season! But it's nice to see other's perspectives

I like that your poem utilizes imagery associated with winter to create an isolated, cold, and lifeless view of what the narrator sees in Winter. I especially enjoyed the first stanza which starts off by describing what the narrator sees as though they are presently looking around and describing it. ~

Suggestions

The rhyme scheme changed throughout and in some places there was no rhyme scheme at all- while that's not technically an error, it threw off the rhythm for me big time. I would at least maintain consistently in future poems- to help the flow and rhythm feel natural and not chaotic.

That's all I have for suggestions!

Summary

Your piece is a short poem about disdain for winter as it is a cold and lifeless time. I had no major suggestions for you today other than considering how the rhyme scheme affects the flow as well as how word choices/tone is perceived.

I particularly liked the lines, "You are all alone~In a truly cold world" they really summarize the narrator's feeling about winter but also seem to allude to a deeper meaning. Nicely written~

I hope my review was helpful,

Keep Writing,

~Katja

Alright. Interesting. Not my perspective for sure, but completely valid.

I liked how you rhymed some lines but not all of them-- excessive rhyming can be annoying.

"On the oh-so depressing days" I thought that this line was awkward. The 3-line stanza before this one wrapped itself up really nicely and this one felt kind of sloppy. Just the last line, really.

"Just know these winter days

Shall not remain"
This conclusion felt a bit awkward too. It didn't flow with the rest of the poem. On the one hand, it does feel like an ending, a "and that's how it is" sort of thing, but on the other hand, it's abrupt and not very elegant.

"And That's okay" The capital T is a typo, I'm guessing.

I'm so happy you were able to use the correct "your"s throughout the poem

Keep writing!

Nymeria