Young Writers Society

Ok first off, why have planned on making me cry this morning? Damn the poem hurts so much and that's what makes me love it the most. This is very good, sad, poem.

I like the pattern of rhymes in the poem. Honestly, I need to come for tutorials so you can show me how you do it. I hope you don't mind though? lol.

The early parts of the poem, from you stating how your kindness is your weakness, giving in your all in a relationship because of how much you really loved the person, that to me shows me how beautiful your strength is. It really hurts to be in a situation where you put in your all, your love, affection and time to make a relationship work, only for it to be stepped on. That is a feeling I would hate to go through and wouldn't love for any person to go through such pain.

"Ignorance was bliss that day
They don’t know the hurt
I experienced that day
I begged for one last kiss
As I was crying into your shirt
You just walked away"

this part to be honest really undid me. Yet I love the way you realistically portrayed how heartless some people can be. It really made my heart break.

I love how the persona realizes how good on their own they feel toward s the end of the poem. Even though that heartbreak wasn't the best way to discover this kind of self love, it is as if the persona is saying, although you almost killed me by making me go through that terrible heartbreak, Thank you for if it hadn't have happened, I would never have known how good I can be on my own.
The last stanza once again shows the persona's strength which is the kindness.m I mean were I to have been the one who went through that heartbreak, I would have loved to see the person in pain, but no. The persona actually recognizes hoe happy they are, and wish that their number one heartbreaker is also happy.
If this Kindness is not the persona's beautiful strength, then tell me, what is it then?

Amazing poem. I love, I love it. I. FREAKIN'. LOVE.IT

Hello Softballgirl333! Welcome to YWS~ Katja here to review your poem "My Kindness". As with all of my reviews please feel free to disregard any comments or suggestions I make, should you find them unhelpful. With that being said, let's get into this review~

Overall Thoughts

I really love your poem which seems to express sorrow and grief over a partner that left the narrator's heart shattered. They say their final goodbye to this person and conclude that they are better off without this person and likewise the person is better off without them.

The emotion and imagery especially struck me- it didn't come off as forced nor cheesy. It feels authentic and as a result, is that much more impactful.

My favorite part of your poem was:

My heart is glass

Now it has been shattered

My Kindness
Is my weakness
You took that for granted
You made me fall in love
The kind of love most girls dream of

I gave you my heart
Be gentle, I say
It’s a work of art
Careful, it can break easily
That’s what I found out today

Hello,

This poem is well written, and you put in a lot of emotion into each line. This poem did a good job of voicing your thoughts and feelings towards love.

I just have one thought towards the end where you feel deeply sad about the girl leaving, and suddenly you get over it in the end and are glad that she is gone. I feel like you can drag out your sadness a little more towards the relationship ending, rather than saying how you got over it right away. That would make the ending seen seem more realistic.

wish I would have never known
What love is supposed to be
Maybe you would still be with me

This was a nice composition. To me it felt a little less "literary" type and more of the "pouring out the feelings" type. I hope this helped you get over whatever you felt. You surely made the readers feel your pain too. Try not to make the lines rhyme just for the sake of rhyming. If it rhymes comfortably, let it. If not, let it be. Remember, poetry is not just about rhyming. It is about reaching into the readers' heart and making your place there. Work on your vocabulary so that you can use better words and deeper descriptions.
Nice work!