Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for mature content.
“Hello darling,” said Edmund as he entered the room, “did you wait long?”
“It felt like forever,” replied the woman lying on the bed, Jenna was her name.
“I'm sorry sweetheart, I'll be with you soon.” Edmund cooed as he shrugged off his coat. “Just give me a moment to get ready.”
“Ok,” she said, eyes staring at the ceiling. Her ebony hair flowed around her shoulders contrasting profusely with her porcelain skin. Her green eyes held him in an intense, unwavering stare that sent shivers down Edmund spine.
It would all be over soon, he thought to himself, don't let yourself get too attached.
Once they were finished she would leave and he would meet someone new and it would start again. Jenna knew the way he worked, he had never tried to keep it a secret, never tried to delude her or lead her to believe that this had to last any longer than it had too. Maybe this was why she wouldn't look at him and kept staring at the ceiling instead.
“Honey, are you ok? I'm almost ready.” Concern laced the edges of his voice.
She was silent for a minute before asking, “Do you do this often?”
Edmund glanced at her, then went back to rummaging through his briefcase. “Yes, almost every night.”
“What was her name?”
The question took him by surprise.
"Who?" he asked.
"The one with you last night."
He stood up and walked towards her still form. “Melissa, I think or Miranda. Something like that.” He touched her cheek and her neck, inspecting every inch of skin.
“And the night before?” she asked, eyes glued to the ceiling.
His hands stilled for a moment. “His name was Robert.”
“Oh.” A pause. “I didn't know you were like that.”
Edmund looked at her hard. “I'm not choosy, I'll take anyone who comes to me.” It was his turn to pause. “Why? Does that change things between us?” Silence. He could almost feel the tension stretching thin.
“No,” she finally replied, “I need you.”
He smiled and let his fingers continue their roaming.
Bruises?
He pulled the down the thin sheet that covered her, she didn't try to resist and just lay silently. More bruises covered her collar bone and shoulders.
“He didn't treat you well did he?” he murmured, almost to himself.
“No.” She whispered.
He sighed and pulled his hands away. “Don't worry sweetheart, I won't let him get away with it.”
“Thank you.” He barely heard her strangled voice. Slowly he continued and completed the rest of the inspection, occasionally taking notes or speaking into a recorder. When he was finished he pulled the sheet so that it covered her up to her neck. Her head still facing upwards.
“How are you feeling Jenna?” he asked.
“Cold.” she replied quietly.
Edmund shook his head sadly. “It's only going to get colder.” He began wheeling the metal bed towards the freezer section.
“I know,” she replied as the bed's wheels squeaked in rotation.
When they got there he moved away from the bed to open the door of the freezer that belonged to her. He lined the bed up with the box shaped opening and pushed her in up to her neck.
“Jenna Hales. Twenty-six years old. Died of strangulation around 10:30pm on the second of January 2014.” He looked at her one last time.
“Will I see you again?” she whispered.
“I don't think so Jen, I'm sorry.” he replied. She just stared at the ceiling. He pulled the sheet over her face and pushed her fully into the freezer, locking the door after closing it. Dr. Edmund Sullivan cleaned up his workplace and repacked his briefcase. He looked at his watch, he had gone slightly overtime but it had been worth it. He turned off the lights and hummed to himself as he left the morgue.
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125,011 Literary Works • 672,841 Reviews
Ugh. I need to stop *like*ing stuff and neglecting to review it.
And all those fantastic reviews you've given me, and...well. Here's a hodgepodge of gushing and lame nitpicks. I've yet to master the art of transitioning.
To begin, to start, first off, that twist was wholly unexpected. You blew me away again. Scrolling this over, I'd expected something humorous: frequent paragraph breaks, dialogue tipping the scale, even a wild title. But it was the exact opposite. I love how the second half's leaning more toward her cadaverousness (oh, that's a word? Cool.), so the conclusion doesn't strike the reader so hard. The conclusion ... absolutely perfect. You ended right on the word "morgue." The fact that he's humming also suggests that he's performed this so many times, he isn't affected by it anymore. All of it vanishes with his presence.
Nitpicks...
The punctuation with the speaker's tags is inconsistent. Let me just pop in a quick lesson: If a period concludes the dialogue, but it's followed by a speaker's tag, then the period should be replaced with a comma. If I was too confusing, this might help.
Comma splice. Just replace the comma with a period.
A comma should be stuck between "sorry" and "sweetheart."
I'd recommend spelling it out, so it doesn't translate as text-talk.
Stunning description. Just insert a comma between "shoulders" and "contrasting."
Another comma splice. Just replace the comma with a period.
Comma splice, and a comma should be inserted after "worry."
Another comma splice.
You get the gist. Just watch out for comma splices, and inserting commas when addressing people.
That said, stunning descriptions. I reread sections several times simply for the beauty of them. It's also great that they don't dominate, and yet contribute to the storyline.
Looking forward to hearing more from you!
Flamey!!
I'll be sure to fix it up 
Thanks for reviewing this! I'm sure that by now you've realised that I'm hopeless with commas.
Hey, Locko! No problem! Pleasure to read
.
Great story. I really like what you have done here. The title is what draws the reader in, and then they leave it with the nice little twist.
I like how you effectively and seamlessly weave in the hints that all come together at the end. For example the fact that she was staring up at the ceiling is so ambiguous but at the end it fits perfectly.
Your grammar feels a bit strange here with the tense. I feel like it should be 'It will all be over'.
I didn't like the fact that she had green eyes. It just bothered me for some reason. Made me feel as if it was one of those shallow romances where they all give their characters green eyes to feel 'mysterious' or something. A completely personal thing of course.
Good work here. Done very well.
Hey Blackwood! Thanks for your review, it means alot.
Thanks again!
I'm glad that you picked up on the hints and that they made sense afterwards because I wasn't sure if they were noticable or not. Green eyes in a character annoy me too, but I guess that was the ooint at the beginning right? To make you think it was just a shallow romance.
Hey Silverlock
Just like the title 'The Curious Romances of Edmund Sullivan' says, I surely did expect a romantic story. But gosh! When I read the entire thing, I was like ''wooow!".
Not in my wildest dreams would I think of an ending like that.
Terrific suspence!
I loved the character of Edmund Sullivan. Him being a doctor was ofcourse not expected.
Your short description was perfect!
Looking forward to read more of this kind!
Keep writing.
Love,
Krish
Hey Krish! Thank you so much for your review!
Haha I'm glad the ending managed to shock you! 
Hahaa yeah
You are welcome!
Hello, Silverlock.
Well, this story has got me questioning myself. I was somewhat confused at first but I got the meaning to it at the end of the story.
I liked the beginning of the story, it really caught my eye.
I loved the description and imagery of your characters. I can see them in my mind.
I really liked the suspicion and the way you introduced the main character in your story.
My favorite part was the ending, when he walked away in the night... it left alot of mystery and suspicion.
I see no errors in your story so far. At least, that I know of.
I really would like to read more. Keep up the good work! c:
-K
Hey K! Thank you for reviewing my story, I appreciate it! I'm pretty sure there are errors somewhere.
You're short description of the story was indeed accurate.
I went in trying not to expect something, and I was still surprised at the end. Your transition was so beautiful. It was as smooth as...uhm...well I guess I will use satin to describe it. Your transition was as smooth as satin! I completely commend you on your writing skills.
There were a few grammatical errors, though. But I'm sure others pointed them out to you. We all make them, haha.
I really enjoyed Dr. Edmund. He was a beautifully designed character. I think that you really got in the mind of the...I can't think of the name for them right now...the people who inspect dead bodies. Haha, I'm sorry for my odd way of reviewing.
Anyway, good job all around. My favorite part was:
He smiled and let his fingers continue their roaming.
Bruises?
He pulled the down the thin sheet that covered her, she didn't try to resist and just lay silently. More bruises covered her collar bone and shoulders.
“He didn't treat you well did he?” he murmured, almost to himself.
“No.” She whispered.
He sighed and pulled his hands away. “Don't worry sweetheart, I won't let him get away with it.”
“Thank you.” He barely heard her strangled voice. Slowly he continued and completed the rest of the inspection, occasionally taking notes or speaking into a recorder. When he was finished he pulled the sheet so that it covered her up to her neck. Her head still facing upwards."
It's a big chunk, but I love it because it's when the reader begins to see something is fishy. It's not the lustful story we think it is. It is a sadder, more elusive story.
Keep it up!
Disclaimer: I am in no way a professional critique-er...My critiques are basically my thoughts and shouldn't be taken as more
****MissAtomicBomb
Hey! Thanks so much for reviewimg my work! It really means a lot and your review isn't odd at all, just really cool
Wow! This was amazing! It took me a moment at the end to realize that Jenna was dead and Edmund was the doctor. After I figured that out, I loved the story even more:) I absolutely love the simplicity of your words while still making them informative. (One of the reasons I do is because that's something I struggle with as a writer.) Honestly, I can't really think of anything I don't like. Great job, and keep writing:)
Hey Peanut! Thanks a lot for your review! I'm really glad you liked this.
This is absolutely brilliant! You've managed to capture both characters so beautifully in such a short amount of words! Something I will never be able to do, sadly. Everything I have to say has already been said, but I will just say this one more time.
This short story is simply beautiful, and I love the idea of Dr.Edmund talking to himself as he works his way through a victim. Just makes him so much more unique than the rest.
Also, I love the title! It was what reeled me in, the title along with the content should be able to hook the readers in and you've done that. Very nice!
I look forward to your future works!
-SubtleSanity
Hey SubtleSanity!! Thanks for your review!!
I'm gald you enjoyed this. Thanks again!!
Believe me when I say with time and practice you can achieve anything with words. Just keep practicing and believe in yourself.
I've never seen such interesting characters for a short story. This was well-done, just a few notes. It had an eerie, and shall I say, ambiguous feel to it. You were right, this story is completely different than I thought it would be.
How long have you been writing? You're great at it
Hi thanks so much for your review.
I'm glad the story had it's intended effect. Ummm.. I've been writing since I was nine so quite a long time. Thanks again! 
Hello, my friend.
First, let me just say that you are one of those brilliant writers. One of those brilliant writers who has mapped out the formula for writing beautiful short stories. I have never been one of those people, and the writing of short stories still baffles me and confuses me to no end. However, you have managed to figure it out to wonderful results. You should be proud of your writing. Exceedingly proud.
Second, a few grammatical things:
I think this sentence requires either a colon or a semi-colon. Personally, I prefer the semi-colon. "Jenna knew the way he worked;..."
I don't know why I said a few, that was all I could find.
Third, a few stylistic suggestions:
I wouldn't put "you" in this sentence. Or in this piece, for that matter. It topples the eerie atmosphere of this piece. It ruins the strange feeling of watching this all transpire, unable to stop it. Saying "you," I think, gives the reader far too much power. Let them squirm.
"...laced..." Keep your tenses straight. And thank you for being the first person I have seen that word from. I love using that word, don't you?
That was all I would suggest. Your writing is perfect as it is.
Overall, I would just like to say: amazing. Fantastic. Creepy. Eerie. Belongs in the Twilight Zone. Beautiful. Marvelous. All of those words and more. Ugh. It just made me so happy. Simply stunning piece of work. As a writer of novels, I would suggest transforming this story into a novel. However, I would not want to ruin its simplicity and wonder. Simply stunning piece of writing, my friend. We should talk more, because I would love to learn from you. Keep me posted on anything else you write, please. Happy Writing!
Hi John!! Thank you for your review!! You were very sweet
Thank you for pointing out my mistakes I've gone and adjusted them. Yes I agree lace is a brilliant word which isn't used nearly enough. Edmund was a character from one of my abandoned novels, and I would love to write with him again but like you said sometimes it's just better too leave it as a stand alone. Talking is always fun just pm me whenever, I'm sure I could learn a lot from you as well.
Thanks again for your review
Hi Silverlock, Laure here for a review. This is certainly not what I expected at all, actually as I was reading along my mind was reeling from shock and I was like, holy-
I find all your short stories very interesting and this one especially is extremely intriguing. I'm still trying to figure out how Jenna is talking to Dr.Edmund. I mean is only when you're pronounced officially dead, you enter the morgue and also, you have created a very realistic imagery of Jenna And Dr.Edmund. Even in such a short amount of writing, you have managed to create tow very strong characters. Is very well-written!
But I'm really curious, is Dr.Edmund talking to himself or is Jenna like...
Keep up the good work!
-Laure
Hey Laure!!
Thanks again!!
Thanks so much for reviewing this, it means alot. I'm really glad that it wasn't what you had expected because I was scared it might be predictable. I guess it's up to you whether you think it was in Edmund's head or otherwise... I like to think he's a lonley doctor who tried to put a little romance into what he does
No problem! Great title change by the way! I just like this one a bit better than the last, it has a much more antique and mysterious feel to it!