Stage Fright

Ah, it's rhyming poetry. This is my favorite type of writing to review.

Now, please remember that this is all constructive criticism. Every mistake pointed out is an opportunity to get better. (Somebody should make that a quote, please.)

Index:
1. Grammar and Spelling
2. Meter and Flow
3. Rhyme Patterns
4. Content/Other Concerns

1. Let's jump into it. Grammar and spelling check...

because I had so easily caved in,
to my fear of public speaking.

Perhaps you want to remove the comma after 'in'. The placement wouldn't be correct in a normal sentence, although if you put it there for a reason, you can ignore me.

Aaaand done.

2. Meter and Flow adjustment.

Beforehand warning: I test the flow of each line by reading it to myself, and therefore it's not exactly an objective process. Also, I give you a possible solution to fix the meter based on what I think would sound good. So, basically, take these revisions with as many grains of salt as you want.

Also, I review the meter of every single stanza. Why? Because I'm kind of crazy like that.

Mostly, I just enjoy taking literature apart and analyzing each piece before modifying it and reassembling the parts. Anyway, enough about me. Let's get started.

There were many nights of lying awake
Filled with anxiety and contemplation
Knowing that soon I'd have to face
A hall full of expectation.

Wow. You claim that this isn't your forte, but the syllables in this stanza flow perfectly while still retaining a convincing message. On the first try, too - good job!

If there's anything I'd adjust about this one, it's the arrangement of the third line. Perhaps you'd want to try 'Knowing that I'd soon have to face' instead? It's a nitpick at best, but it eliminates the sound of an interruption phrase that the previous arrangement created.

For example, if this line was written as an actual sentence, I would place commas before and after soon.

Knowing that, soon, I'd have to face a hall full of expectation.

Some readers, while going through that line, would mentally place pauses there because they recognize the interrupter, even if there aren't any commas. To avoid any disruption of the flow caused by this, simply switch the adverb around.

Knowing that I'd soon have to face

On to the next stanza.

With trembling hands and a pale face
I wait for my name to be called
Up onto that dreaded stage
And the tears threatening to fall.

This one is good, but it could use a bit of adjustment here and there.

(Note: I read 'threatening' as a disyllabic word, more like 'threat'ning', and I adjust the lines as such. If you intended it to be read with three syllables, you can disregard my advice.)

With trembling hands and a pale face

The 'pale face' section sounds a bit strange when read aloud, because for some reason, my rhythmic instinct expects another syllable to be in there. Perhaps you could try something like this?

With trembling hands and a pale, drawn face

Never pass up the opportunity to add more imagery.

However, now that the first line sounds more natural, it also has eight syllables. The third line, which is supposed to match, only has seven. Let's fix that. Instead of this...

Up onto that dreaded stage

Try something more like this.

I climb up to that dreaded stage
Where the tears start threatening to fall

The rewording adds another syllable, and it also gives some action for the reader to digest. I also changed the fourth line because it now matches the second, both with eight syllables.

A million eyes see and judge me
Waiting for me to fail and fall
I can hear their minds taunting,
laughing
Urging me to lose control

Using 'fall' as a rhyming word clashes with the last line of the previous stanza. You can try rewording it without losing any syllables like this:

Just waiting for failure, I know

It doesn't rhyme exactly with 'control', but 'fall' didn't either, so you're okay there.

Line two has eight syllables and line four has seven, so let's modify that. Instead of this...

Urging me to lose control

Just add a syllable towards the end.

Urging me to lose all control

Lines one and three don't match (eight and nine syllables respectively), so I would alter the first line like so.

A million eyes see me and judge me

It adds a nice repetition effect, anyway.

It all passes in a desperate blur
Of mumbled words and murmured hurt
Staring at the worn out, ink smudged
page
Knowing that I'd disappointed again.

The first three lines have an excellent meter, but the fourth one deviates since it has ten syllables. The second only has eight. You can fix it by doing something like this:

Knowing disappointment again.

Next stanza:

The nights ahead are filled with
endless anger and frustration
because I had so easily caved in,
to my fear of public speaking.

It almost seems to me that this line suddenly becomes freeverse. If you want to keep it this way, go ahead. However, if you want to, this is how I'd suggest you match the meter.

The nights ahead are packed with
endless anger and frustration
I had caved in far too quickly
to my fear of public speaking.

3. Rhyme Patterns

Contemplation/expectation is an excellent pair - no complaints here.

Fall/control is a bit sketchy, especially because 'fall' is overused due to its rhyme in the previous stanza. If you followed my meter check, you saw that I reworded it using 'know' because it provides about the same rhyme as 'fall' and avoids the word repetition.

Hurt/again and frustration/speaking aren't rhyming pairs, so I'll skip those ones.

I noticed that you transitioned into non-rhyming stanzas for the last two. It's a stylistic choice, of course, and it isn't too jolting when reading through, so you can keep them in there if you wish.

4. Content Check/Other Concerns

This poem is a convincing depiction of the symptoms of the fear of public speaking, including the regret and self-aimed frustration after the fact for not being able to conquer it.

Unfortunately, I haven't ever suffered this badly from stage fright, so I can't exactly relate to the message itself. However, I can tell that it's well-thought-out and relevant to a large number of people, so maybe you'll get a few comments from users that can really appreciate what you've written here.

Conclusion: In short, I came away with a positive impression, so great job! Remember, the flow of a poem is always more important than the rhyme. If you can't use a particular rhyme without disrupting the flow of the lines, change it to a different one.

Thanks for taking the time to read,
-Crunch

First of all, I must say - this review will be much easier for me because I have this exact same problem: stage fright. Though I don't imagine why I'd be on a stage anytime soon? Anyways~

Umm hi, so this is another "attempt" at poetry. I'm still in the process of learning, this is not my forte, so I'd really appreciate comments on how can improve this and make this more "poem like". Thanks!

This part got cut off for some weird reason. It got just off after "still". I'm not sure why, though.

Urging me to lose control

Period at the end.

Okay - content time! Whoop whoop!

I really feel like this is sort of my style at poetry as well. Like, I've got the stanzas and all, and it just reminds me of my writing. Which isn't bad, because I like my writing (sort of), and I like this as well.
For an attempt at poetry, I thought this was very well thought out and written, so kudos to yudos for that!

Ryhming, now. Okay, so I thought there was a ryhme scheme going on, but then I got a little confused. In the first stanza, it's contemplation and expectation, right? But then when you get further on in other stanzas, it gets rather confusing.

But besides that ryhming issue (which might've been a mistake or something...?) I thought this was a great poem, expressing your feelings about stage fright.

WillowPaw1~