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Young Writers Society


18+ Language Violence Mature Content

Chapter 2 - Academy Year 1 - First Day / Chapter 3 - Academy Year 1 - Talentless?! / Chapter 4 - Academy Year 1 - Weakling

by Skywind555


Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language, violence, and mature content.

Chapter 2 - Academy Year 1 - First Day

I can hardly believe it’s tomorrow.

"Kai, it's finally time for you to continue your training at the Academy,” Emdos says.

I raise my arms in the air with a big smile on my face. "Yeah! I can't wait!”

"Now listen, Kai, I know you're excited to finally enroll into the Academy, but you can't let anyone see you use the Mana I have taught you to control."

I hesitate a moment before quirking an eyebrow and then ask, "Why?"

"Didn't you want to make friends? If your peers find out you have something they don't, they'll be jealous and won't want to be your friend. But you should continue doing the training regimen you have been doing every day."

I frown and speak in a soft, conceding voice, "I do want friends… I guess I'll have to listen to you, Emdos. I just need to practice expelling Mana outta my hands and controlling how much comes out, right?"

"Yes, you've been doing an excellent job and almost have completed the first step. After you've mastered controlling your flow of Mana, you can begin training more advanced forms of Mana manipulation. You can practice expelling Mana from different parts of your body or cover certain parts of your body with Mana at will."

"Okay, then what comes after that?" I ask with a grin.

"Oho, don't get too ahead of yourself now. But once you've mastered that, you can open this book and read it. You can take this book with you to the Academy tomorrow," Emdos says as he grabs a book from the top of the shelf. He holds the book in front of me as he narrows his eyes into mine. "But you have to promise me. Don't let anyone else read this book, don't read it until you can manipulate your Mana freely, and don't lose it. Do you promise?"

Emdos' tone suddenly deepens, and I feel that the air around me gets colder as I stare into his eyes. I sense that I'm not talking to the kind Emdos that I know. My heart races and I can't help but quiver my eyes as I gulp, all while reaching for the book with my hand, eventually grabbing it. "I… I promise."

Emdos continues to stare into my eyes, but I don't dare to move a single muscle while frozen in place as I hold my breath. I feel so scared that I completely lose track of time; with every passing second feeling like years. I don't know how much time passes before Emdos finally lets go of the book as he smiles, speaking in a tone much lighter compared to his last words, "That's good. You can put this in your backpack, keep it safe."

Upon hearing that, my shoulders relax as I take a deep breath. Emdos walks out of the room and now I hold the red, tattered book in my hands. I look down at it, touching and squeezing the book, and realize that the binding is loose. I squint my eyes, concentrating on the words in front of the book, but I lose focus and sigh when I see that they are unfamiliar characters. Should I open it and just sneak a quick peak if I can read the contents?

My fingers slide through the edge of the book firmly clenched in my other hand. Eagerly, I stroke it and gulp. Since Emdos wouldn't like me breaking the promise, I crouch down and rest the book on the ground. I take off my backpack, open it, and store the text inside.

I spend the rest of the day training my Mana capacity. I stand still while keeping my eyes closed as I take deep breaths. I fully extend my arms as I keep my hand stretched back all while channeling Mana out of my palms starting slow, but changing the speed of the outflow every few seconds. I try to switch between a very fast speed and a very slow speed, but I fail; whenever I let out too much Mana it becomes hard to control and the rate it comes out is uneven.

After training for an hour, I lay on the floor with my arms by my side staring at the ceiling.

This feels similar to five years ago…when I first learned to release my Mana in the air for the first time. I smile. I was so excited that I did it that I forgot to concentrate on controlling it… I became exhausted from the loss of too much Mana and laid on the floor, kinda like now.

I take slow, deep breaths as I close my eyes. Images and scenery from earlier training days play out in my head, and my consciousness fades into my memories.

The next day, I wake up early morning in bed. I sit up and yawn as I turn my head left and right becoming more lucid when I realize that I'm in my room. Emdos must've carried me to my room after I fell asleep yesterday.

I turn my head towards the clock. 5:59 a.m...

While frowning, I turn my head back and sigh as I lie down. I stare at the ceiling motionless, but then I start to roll back and forth towards the edges of the bed with my arms and legs stretched out like a line.

I turn my head towards the right to look at the time again; it's 6:00 a.m. When I turn my entire body over resting on my side, I make an attempt to shut my eyes so that time would pass faster when I'm asleep, but my mind races. In just two hours I could make friends! I wonder how many I'll have! What will they look like? What time is it?!

I open my eyes widely to glance at the time again, but it hasn't changed. I squeeze my eyes shut and lie still. Even so, I sneak another peak from the corner of my eyes. And another. And another. Once I close my eyes, the past comes flowing back to my restless mind.

Emdos was kind, but he was really strict with my training. He often scolded me for not training hard enough and wouldn’t let me go outside to play with other kids. He was even reluctant about letting me go to the Academy, but after I worked really hard, he changed his mind and turned in an application for me.

I grin as I roll around in my bed trying to shake off my excitement, but suddenly an idea hits me, and I lie still with closed lips. Sorry Emdos… I wanna try something even though I haven't completed the first step…

I decide to get up and do a different type of training. An hour passes while I'm in a state of complete focus, but I can't stop my Mana from leaking out before it reaches the tip of my finger.

"Ugh!" I stretch out all of my limbs as my back falls to the floor. I think about giving up, but an epiphany hits me.

I was too focused on my finger and didn’t restrict on other places where it could leave… I’ll make a barrier so that no Mana can get outta my hand!

I focus my Mana again and try to release Mana from the tip of my right index finger. Nothing comes out as I expected, but then I make an opening at the tip of my finger in which Mana begins to flow out. I examine my hand more closely and distinguish that the only part of my hand that Mana escapes from is at the tip of my right index finger.

I did it! I grin and clutch my left fist in celebration of my success. Mana is flowing out too fast out of my right hand. I force myself to stop smiling, but my lip can't stop trembling from the excitement. I slap my left cheek with my left hand in an attempt to regain focus. Afterward, I try to concentrate on slowing down the pace of Mana flow as much as I can.

My attention on my right hand is suddenly broken when I hear a voice from behind me. "Oh Kai, you're awake already? What're you doing?"

I promptly stop releasing my Mana and put my palms on the floor behind me to let them support my weight. I can't afford to let Emdos know what I was doing, though I figure that he couldn't see me from the angle he called out to me anyway. I turn my head around and pretend that I was just taking a breather from my usual training routine. "Yeah, I got up an hour ago and did some training. I'm resting now."

"Oh is that so? Don't tire yourself too much before your first day." His footsteps gradually get farther away as I turn my head back. I sigh out of relief, but then I hear them stop. "By the way, you were doing some interesting training…"

I feel my heart stop for a second while maintaining a stiff posture.

He found out… Is he gonna make me eat carrots again for my punishment? Or maybe one of his concoctions… My lips shake as I frown and gulp.

"I'll let you off this time since you've done well. You're free to practice whatever you wish, but don't forget about the basics," Emdos warns.

I thought he was going to be harsher for going against his instructions. I take a deep breath and stretch out my arms over my head while my back falls to the floor. I think I'm done for now… I'm gonna take a nap…

I fall asleep immediately.

"Kai you're going to be late," Emdos says.

I yawn while I slowly get up and stretch. "What time is it?"

"7:44 a.m."

"WHAAAAT?!" I yell at the top of my lungs, instantly becoming alert.

There's no way I'm gonna be late for my first day! I can still make it if I sprint there! I get up and look for my backpack. I turn my head around and again, but can't find it. I run to the main room and find it against the wall. While panicking, I put it on my back and start to make my way towards the front door.

From the kitchen, Emdos says, "Kai, before you leave you should eat some breakfast."

"Ah I'm not hungry. Besides I'm gonna be late!" I put my hand on the door handle, turn it, and start to sprint, but my head hits the door, and I fall down. I rub my head on the place where I hit the door. "Ow… What the heck?"

I knit my eyebrows as I frown, unsure of what happened. I get up and try turning the door handle again, realizing that it doesn’t budge. In an angry fit, I kick the door as hard as I can with my right foot. Damn you, door!

I feel a hot puff of air escape my nostrils as I turn around. "Hey Emdo—"

I rear back in shock when I see Emdos standing right in front of me. His expression seems grim at first, but then it melts into an easygoing grin.

"I'm not letting you leave until you eat the breakfast I made you… It's your favorite," Emdos says with a smile and then giggles.

"That isn't a funny joke! I'm gonna be late as it is!"

"This isn't a joke. Would you rather not go at all?" He looks at me with narrowed eyes and frowns.

Geh… He's serious… I sigh before answering, "Okay okay… I just have to eat it right?"

I reluctantly run to the kitchen. If it's my favorite, it's definitely soup. I'll gulp it down, and I won't be too late.

In the kitchen, I find a bowl ready for me on the table. My eyes widen, and my jaw drops in shock as I look down at the soup. I take a spoon, stir the soup, and then scoop up random pieces of the ingredients. "Emdos wha…what is this?"

Emdos laughs. "It's soup of course… but I just changed a few ingredients."

"A few?! What did you put in this?!"

"Hmm…let's see… I used milk, lemons, Harpy meat, carrots, potatoes, broc—"

"Stop!" When I think about what he said, I feel the contents of my stomach turning sour as I imagine what they each individually taste like. I gulp and taste a trace amount of stomach acid. I guess I'm being punished after all… This soup is made with ingredients I despise.

I sigh and sit down. I decide it's better if I get rid of the liquid first, so I grab the ends of the bowl with both hands and begin to drink it. I try my best to not think about what's in the broth and use my teeth as a filter to stop the solids from going into my mouth. I purposely hold my breath in so I don't taste any of the warm, milky liquid. With every gulp I drink down, my insides turn, disagreeing with what went down. I finally gulp down the last of it and take a deep breath, but it backfires on me - I immediately taste hell. I drop the bowl and instinctively cover my mouth with my hands. I feel the rush of hot, sour air traveling up my esophagus. I think about delicious food trying to oppose the awful feeling.

Bread…steak…hamburger…rice…soup— I immediately think of what I just drank and another rush of hot, sour air stirs in my stomach. Emdos is still laughing. It seems that he's enjoying my misfortune.

I look at the time; it is 7:49 a.m. I uncover my mouth, take a deep breath, grab the spoon, and then start to eat the solids. Unlike the milky broth, I have to thoroughly chew the pieces before I can swallow them. I start with the hardest ingredient; Harpy meat. This type of meat is really chewy, and it forces me to taste it while I grind my teeth against it. I close my eyes thinking about making friends as I chew each piece of meat. I already prepared my stomach with a large amount of liquid, so I don't feel any added discomfort of swallowing the Harpy meat.

I…I finished… I look at the time again; it is 8:00 a.m. That meant that the Academy is starting right now. I wipe my mouth and run to the front door again. I turn the door handle and push. I see that the door actually opens this time. I turn around, smile, and then wave at Emdos. "Well then, Emdos I'm leaving! I'll see ya in five years!"

"Yeah…" Emdos smiles and says nothing else. I run out the door and go north on the main street. I turn my head back while running and notice Emdos still smiling at the entrance of our home. I don't pay too much attention, but I feel that he is a bit distant. It worries me, but I soon forget it thinking about making new friends.

Hmm, since my house is near the edge of the city of the Residential District, it's gonna probably take me at least 30 minutes to get to The Academy area while running non-stop since it's on the opposite side of the city… Sometimes I wish Drymo wasn't so big…

Up ahead is the marketplace, crowded with people despite still being quite early in the day. I know that it opens for 12 hours starting at 6:00 a.m., but I have only been here with Emdos in the afternoon to pick out ingredients for dinnertime. I squeeze through the hordes of people, not caring for invading their personal space. I drool at all sorts of appetizing fruits, vegetables, fish, and meat on sale around me. I fight the urge to eat them and move on.

I manage to reach a less crowded area out of the marketplace and continue running at my full speed. Five people in armor carry some type of monster meat past me. I stop running and stare at them with sparkling eyes with a smile. Cool! They must be adventurers! One day, I'll be one too!

I take a deep breath, wipe off the sweat on my forehead with my shirt, turn back towards my path, and continue running. Eventually, I come to an intersection where going straight would lead me to the Royal District and turning left would lead me to the Trade District. I choose the latter path and run still having plenty of energy left.

I recall a memory with Emdos at the restaurant called 'The Green Boar' on my right side. It was the first time we ate out and I experienced all kinds of foods I never had before. I swallow a mouthful of saliva and shake my head trying to rid the feeling of good nostalgia at this settlement. I run around the people on the street and avoid the occasional obstruction, like carriages along the way.

Just a little more and I'll be in the Trade District…then I won't have to think about what I could've eaten instead of… A cold chill goes down my spine when I think back to the soup.

This district really is big… I didn't believe Emdos at first when he told me it took up nearly 35% of the city… Oh, I see it, a weapon shop ahead of me! I widen my eyes and smile. Wow! There are so many different shops I've never seen before! I wish Emdos took me here so I could've explored a bit more! Oh yeah, I think I need to go this way…

I make a right turn and go straight. Unsure of how long it has been, my legs are getting heavier. I shift my weight on every new step I take. My chest and throat burns from not being able to get enough air into my lungs. Sweat drips down my face with every step I take, and a few drops unfortunately make their way into my eyes. It burns a little, but I feel better after rubbing them with my finger. I feel my heart racing extremely fast, but that doesn't stop me from moving my legs.

Ahead of me, there's an enormous building which stands on top of a hill; it is The Academy. A smile emerges while I'm still running towards the building. I think I'm still around ten minutes away. I don't know how long it's been, but I haven't stopped running since I started so not that much time should've passed… Just a little more!

It is only ten minutes away, but it feels like an eternity as it doesn't feel like I'm getting closer to the building at all. Eventually, the path that leads directly to The Academy is in front of me. It's a curved path that slanted upward so it would be more difficult to traverse. I get on the path and with every step I take, my legs feel like they weigh twice as much. I stop running involuntarily, and it's difficult to even slowly lift my legs to the next step. At some point, I slump over and collapse while frantically gasping for air.

"Haaa… Just a little more…" I immediately get up and slowly limp my way towards the top. I completely lose track of time, but that doesn't stop me. I will make it!

I grit my teeth as my vision starts to get blurry. With every muscle in my body aching and fatigued, I find myself swerving left and right unable to walk normally. I discover that it's getting increasingly more difficult to keep my balance. So…close…

The two people equipped with armor and weapons stand outside the entrance. They turn their heads to each other. I squint my eyes and discern their lips move, but I'm unable to hear anything. They continue talking while glancing at me.

"Hey you! Who are you?" one of them asks.

As I continue to lumber my way to the entrance, the two figures run towards me.

"Are you a new student?"

I slouch to grab both of my legs with my hands. With my head facing down, I shift my body weight towards my arms.

"My…name…is…Kai…" I take a couple deep breaths between every word I say and hear something drop to the ground, driving me to move my head slightly up. One of them takes a book out of a backpack on the ground. I listen to the flipping of pages, doing nothing other than struggling to get enough air into my lungs.

"Hmm… Oh, there you are, Kai. It looks like you properly registered to start this year. You know school started over an hour ago right? They probably finished all the tests by now... I will take you to where the first years are right now and explain the situation to the instructor."

I barely hear any of the words coming from his mouth, but I decide to follow him anyway. While still gasping for air, I attempt to stand up straight, eventually managing to take a few steps forward, when suddenly, I feel all my strength leave me, and I fall forward.

"Hey… Alright?" The words from one of them fade out as my vision goes black.

Chapter 3 – Academy Year 1 – Talentless?!

"Kai, it's time for breakfast, I made your favorite."

Huh? Did I just wake up? What was I doing just now? I follow Emdos' voice into the kitchen where a bowl rests on the table, automatically assuming that it would be soup. I feel like something has happened like this before, but I don't remember. While ignoring the feeling of déjà vu, I rush over with a smile on my face and then peer into the bowl. My smile quickly dissolves into a frown as I open my mouth wide.

"Now eat it, Kai. I'll make it easy for you." Emdos takes the bowl with the spoon in hand and moves in on me, closer and closer. Out of instinct, I want to run away, but I can't move. I glance at my legs and arms, realizing my limbs are tied to the wall. Emdos is right in front of me laughing with an evil smile as he scoops up the contents of the horrifying soup. "It's time for your punishment Kai."

"Nooooooooooooooo!" I scream, forcing my eyes to shut tightly. I keep them closed for several seconds. When I realize that there's no noise, and I can wave my arms around, I very slowly inch an eye open to check if Emdos is still there. When neither the spoon nor Emdos is there, I sigh and then open my eyes normally. A stone ceiling is ahead.

Was I dreaming just now…? Where am I? I sit up and look around; an old man is standing in front of me, leaning backward. He is wearing a red robe with black vertical stripes on it. His gray hair is tied up in a knot and holds something in his right hand. On my left, there is a large crowd of kids like me. They are seated on seven different elevations with about 20 seats per row. Some of the seats are empty, but I estimate that there are at least 100 of them. On the left and right side of the room, stone steps lead up to closed doors on top of each stairway.

I'm sitting on what appears to be dirt and grass on top of a table. On my right, there is writing on a blackboard. As my eyes continue to wander around the room, I realize everyone is staring at me, so I smile nervously.

"It looks like you are finally awake. The guards have updated me on what happened. I have casted some Healing magic on you so you should feel fine now, but you should take it easy. But since you were late, I will have to give you a punishment," the old man informs.

"Punishment…?" I immediately think of the soup and cover my stomach with both hands. I hear my stomach rumble as I feel my insides burn. By instinct, I open my mouth as I turn my head towards my left and face the ground and without warning, I feel hot air rush up my esophagus like I'm burping. I make a gagging sound, and then a burst of dark, yellow liquid waterfalls out of my mouth, onto the floor creating a splattering sound. I taste my vomit in my mouth with trace amounts of the soup and then gag once again spewing more of my breakfast onto the floor.

"Gross…" Several kids are whispering among themselves in the crowd. I raise my head as I wipe my mouth with the sleeve of my shirt while looking back at the old man afterward.

"Um, sorry I wasn't feeling good…" I give a small smile and laugh a little.

"If you are still not feeling well, the punishment can wait."

"Um, I'm fine… I'll take my punishment now…" I'm scared of what my punishment is going to be, but I figure that it would be better to get it done sooner than later. I think of all the horrible punishments I got from Emdos, sending shivers down my body. I gulp. "Are…are you gonna make me eat carrots?"

There is a brief silence, but then I hear giggling from some of the kids. I realize they are laughing at what I said, so I turn my head towards them with raised eyebrows and respond, "Yeah, carrots! They're scary!"

The room bursts into laughter. I feel my face burning red, and I can't help but look down. Even the old guy is laughing.

"Haha, you are a funny one are you not? I am not going to feed you carrots, but I am going to have you wear this on your head." The old man holds something that has the shape of a bowl in front of me. I reach out my hands, firmly grabbing it with both hands.

"What's it do?" I ask as I knit my eyebrows. My frowned lips tremble, expecting some horrible consequence.

"This is a magic item that measures your Mana capacity potential. You see, there are three grades of Mana. Scrap Mana is the lowest quality of Mana, Rich Mana is the highest quality, and Unrefined Mana is in the middle. After putting this on for a few seconds, it gives you a rank depending on how much you have of each type. S is the highest and E is the lowest. It does not hurt, and you will not feel anything. Everyone else has received their results in private, and you would be the only one left who needs to measure his Mana capacity potential. As for your punishment, I will reveal your results to everyone."

My eyes and mouth widen in fear as a cold sweat drips down my forehead towards my cheek. I instantaneously recall my conversation with Emdos from yesterday. I can't put this on in front of everyone, or everyone's gonna find out about my Mana and no one will wanna be my friend…

I simply stare at the magic item in my hands while holding my breath. I immediately come up with a question and then ask, "How do I know this won't hurt me? I'm kinda scared."

"Haha, it cannot be helped. Would someone volunteer to take the test again?"

"I will!" A girl in the front row stands up and walks towards me. She is shorter than me with long, straight, brown hair down to her waist and wears a long, white blouse pairing with red shoes. Although she makes eye contact with me and smiles, I blush and look away.

She's pretty… She stands in front of me for reasons beyond me. I gulp before muttering, "Wh-what?"

"Can you give me that?" she asks as she points her finger towards the magic item in my hand. I forget that I'm still grabbing onto it, and I hold it out in front of her with a loosened grip.

"Ah. Here you go."

"Thank you," she responds as she takes the item from my hands. I blush lightly; feeling like her smile pierced my heart. She puts on the device as she begins walking to the old man, stopping in front of him inches away from where he stands.

"Teacher, is it ready yet?"

Oh…so that's who the old man is.

"Let me see… Oh my, yes, I remember you now. Your name is Luna right?"

"Yes!"

"Luna, your Scrap Mana rank is S, your Unrefined Mana rank is B, and your Rich Mana rank is A."

I raise my eyebrows as I smirk.

Isn't that kinda good…? This means I'll be her only friend… I begin to grin, but I relax and turn towards the crowd of kids when I suddenly hear them roaring.

"Wow, that's amazing!"

"Awesome!"

I realize that the kids are cheering for Luna. I cock an eyebrow as I skeptically frown. What? They aren't jealous? I thought for sure they would hate her… "Umm… Teacher, are her results that…poor?"

"No, on the contrary, they are quite impressive! Over the history of this Academy, only 5% have tested S for Scrap Mana, 25% have tested B or better for Unrefined Mana, and less than 1% have tested A or better in Rich Mana. These percentages are not mutually exclusive. A few other students this year had quite some impressive results as well. Ahh… Do not worry, most people fail to get anywhere near Luna's results so do not be disheartened. Now it is your turn."

I'll show everyone my greatness, and I'll be friends with everyone! I grin before declaring, "Alright! My name's Kai, remember it!"

Luna turns around, walks towards me, takes off the magic item, and then holds it in front of me. "Good luck, Kai," she says with a smile.

I take the magic item from her and put it on my head. "Thanks Luna, don't feel bad when I have better results."

"Um, okay." she forces a smile before walking away.

I cross my arms and puff my chest out while holding my smug smile. Luna sits back in her seat while the teacher comes over and examines the device. He knits his eyebrows together and frowns.

Is he shocked at my talent? What's taking so long…? The room is silent, and I can only hear my own breathing.

"Hmm… This is troubling indeed."

"Emdos said I'm special, so I must have some great results right? Now tell everyone my results." I hold my current position and don't move.

The teacher scratches his head before finally saying, "All of your ranks are grade E."

I stop smiling and relax my facial expressions. Did I…mishear it?

Unsure if I heard him correctly I utter, "What?"

I focus my hearing to the upcoming words from the teacher, and I frown as I drop my arms to my sides. "Your Scrap Mana rank is E, your Unrefined Mana rank is E, and your Rich Mana rank is E. You have no talent, I am sorry. I did not want to announce it because it seemed too cruel even for punishment…"

My eyes and mouth widen in disbelief as the teacher responds. All of my thoughts stop, losing my sense of hearing as I stare into the distance and being unable to bring my eyes to focus. I shake my head, trying to get back to reality. I regain some confidence when I think back to moments when Emdos praised me. "Umm, there must've been some mistake? Emdos said I'm special…"

"Hmm… I am sorry there is no mistake. You are indeed special… You are the first student to enroll here to receive the E rank in every category in the history of the Academy…" I stare blankly at the teacher. There is a brief silence until I finally hear the crowd of kids explode into laughter in unison.

"Haha, he's special indeed!" I frown and look at the floor, feeling my face burning up.

"Hahaha! Didja see how confident he was?"

"His name was Kai, right?"

I listen to the students continue their gossip and laughter. On my left, Luna laughs through her mouth even while she covers it with her right hand. I tilt my head down as I clench my teeth and my fists, at the same time scowling in anger. I feel the insides of my chest burning and all of my muscles feel tense as my heart rate speeds up. I take a deep breath. "Stop laughing! I'll show you my power!"

The room becomes silent, and I hear nothing except my own labored breathing. I close my eyes as I start to focus all of my Mana into my right arm. I fully extend my right arm in front of me just like how I did when I trained. I want to gather as much Mana as possible, so I create a barrier on my hand similar to this morning. This is about right. I'll show everyone…

I open my eyes wide preparing to break the barrier in the next moment, but suddenly an icy feeling overwhelms me, and I can't move. I feel so cold that I can't move any part of my body and for some reason I can't even break the barrier. Almost naturally, I think of the moment I stared into Emdos' eyes yesterday and feel fear. My entire body shudders, and it's difficult to breathe, feeling light-headed while hearing ringing in my ears; I couldn't clearly hear anything around me. For some reason, I'm able to dissipate the Mana in my right arm, and I do just that. A moment later the icy feeling is gone, and I take a deep breath, calming down. I spin around, surveying the room, but there's no one suspicious.

What was that...? Was it Emdos…? I have a bad feeling. I'm just gonna do what he told me and not reveal my Mana to anyone. Focusing back on reality, I'm still holding my arm in front of me. Everyone stares at me silently. I put my arm down and then scratch my head while smiling.

"Just kidding." I laugh out loud as if it's a really funny joke. I expect everyone to react negatively, so I mentally prepare myself.

"What the hell? Don't mess with us!"

"I was scared for a moment… I thought he was actually going to do something."

"Hah! I knew he was bluffin' all along."

I keep a neutral facial expression as boos emanate from the crowd. I glance over at Luna to see how she feels about me. She makes eye contact with me and then chuckles. I smile in response.

I'm glad she doesn't hate me. I sigh, relieved.

"My, you are a funny one are you not, Kai? Well, how about you go take a seat? We still have some more time before my lecture ends."

I look around for a seat, and my eyes naturally wander to where Luna sits; the furthest left seat on the first row. I walk over to the empty seat next to her and sit.

"Kai, you're so funny!" she exclaims with a wide smile. I smile back as I blush and then look down at my seat, only to look up again when the teacher clears his throat.

"I will continue where I left off earlier. Every living organism in this world has Mana, it is a necessity of life. But, too much Mana is toxic to all life. When we magicians use magic, we must activate our Mana. We slowly recover the lost Mana through breathing. The remnant of casted magic diffuses into the air in the form of inactive Mana, and when you breathe in air, you breathe in Mana that is bound to oxygen. Your lungs absorb the Mana, and you are able to slowly regenerate your Mana. When the amount of Mana has reached your maximum capacity, the excess amount exits from your body through the skin and diffuses into the air to prevent the toxic effects of Mana.

"Remember, there were three grades of Mana… Scrap Mana…" The teacher raises his right arm in the air and emits Mana into the air. It has a very faint, light blue color, like an ice cube.

"… Unrefined Mana…" The Mana that emits into the air from his hands changes to a deeper tint of blue, almost like the color of the sky.

"… Rich Mana…" The flow of the Mana suddenly becomes fiercer and the color changes to an even deeper tone of blue, like a sapphire.

I close my eyes as I purse my lips, thinking back to the training I had done with Emdos for the past five years. The color of my Mana never changed, and it matched none of the three the teacher just presented… It was a much…deeper blue…maybe darker…

"…but each has their own advantages and disadvantages. The more pure the Mana, the harder it is to control and the slower it can recover. You can see that I am having some difficulty controlling the highest Mana grade, despite that I have trained for a very long time. Those of you who received good results in higher grades of Mana shouldn't be happy with just that. You must still work hard to achieve full mastery of your Mana. Those who have a low capacity for Scrap Mana, should not be discouraged. When you can freely manipulate your Mana, you are able to break down the higher grades of Mana into larger quantities of a lower grade Mana. " The teacher stops releasing his Mana and puts his arm down.

"But beware, you can give yourself Mana poisoning if you are not careful. For an example, you spent all of your D ranked Scrap Mana, but have all of your B ranked Unrefined Mana remaining. If you break down less than half of Unrefined Mana as Scrap Mana you spent into Scrap Mana, you'll have just about all of your Scrap Mana recovered. If you break down too much, however, you will exceed the capacity you have for Scrap Mana, and it will become toxic to you. While you can downgrade your Mana, you cannot combine lower qualities of Mana to become a higher quality of Mana. Knowing when to break down your Mana and how much of it to break down will determine the tide of a battle. Any questions?"

"Ah yes, Luna?"

Luna has her hand raised. "If there's Mana in the air, why doesn't it have a color?"

The teacher rubs his chin as he pauses for a moment before answering, "Good question, that is because the Mana in the air is inactive. Remember what I said about that magicians must activate Mana to use magic? The Mana in our bodies stay inactive until we activate and manifest them. Only manifested Mana will have a color. One of the reasons why higher grade Mana is harder to master is because activating them is harder than a lower grade of Mana. Any other questions?"

There is a long silence in the room.

"I think that is enough for today. Next, you will break into the groups you were in earlier. We will meet outside, at the entrance of the Academy at eleven."

And with that, the students around the room get up and talk amongst themselves. The teacher starts to walk up the stairs next to Luna towards the exit. I get up in a hurry chasing after him and exclaim, "Teacher! Um, I don't think I have a group…"

"Oh Kai, right you were late. Hmm… Everyone is already broken into a group of six…" The teacher raises his right arm, and I hear him mutter a few words. I observe a bubble forming right over his hand, and when it pops, I hear a thunderous noise. Instinctively, I cover my ears with my hands, but it still manages to penetrate my ear drums, and some pain lingers. The room is silent again. "Ah yes, sorry for the interruption, but Kai needs a group. What group wants to take him?"

Everyone averts their eyes away from me, and the room remains silent. After what happened earlier, no one wants me in their group… It's not a surprise, even Luna won't…

I sigh and frown as I look down in dejection. A brief moment later, someone answers from the front of the room; it's a warm, gentle voice that makes my heart skip a beat.

"We actually need one more. We'll take him!" Luna has her arms raised in the air at the front of the room.

"Are you sure? Alright, you will be responsible for him from now on." The teacher's footsteps get farther away. "Hmm? Was this door open this whole time? Oh well."

Around the room, the other students that have gotten together in their own groups start to leave as well. I focus on the voices around Luna.

"What! Luna are you crazy? We do not need a talentless scaredy-cat who is afraid of carrots." My eye twitches once in response to that comment.

"Yeh, he'll drag me down."

"Don’t worry!" Luna exclaims. I nod and smile to myself, knowing that she will defend me. "The strong have to protect the weak right?"

Yep…wait what? No, that's not right… Being protected by a girl is… I point my eyebrows downward as I protest, "I'm not weak!"

"Right, you're actually holdin' back your real power, sure."

"But it's true…" I pout and mutter my words so no one can hear me.

"Hiroster, don't be like that. If he trains hard, he won't hold us back too much. I agree with her on this one, we do need one more after all."

The boy that was mocking me a moment ago sighs. He's about the same height and weight as me with orange, spiky hair and wears an orange, sleeveless shirt pairing with brown pants and black shoes.

"Drugo, you're too nice. Fine, I'll make up for his lack of strength with my amazin’ talent. Consider yourself lucky, Kai."

I can't let myself get angry again; I'll play along. I walk down the stairs towards Luna's group, forcing a smile as I laugh lightly before saying, "Thanks, your name was Hiroster right?"

"That's Hiro the Great to ya."

I can feel veins popping out of my head as I smile against my will. "Ah, Hiro the Great, could you tell me what you received on your test?"

"Oh…that's… I forgot." His voice gradually lowers in volume.

"Hiroster, how do you not remember? You told me what you got not that long ago. A, C, and D in that order right?" The largest kid in the group responds.

Hiroster…? Well, I think that guy's name was Drugo… He's clearly taller and weighs more than me. His black hair is styled into a buzz cut, and he wears a gray long-sleeved shirt pairing with brown shorts with no footwear. I knit my eyebrows as my eyes focus on his bare feet. Is he poor or something? I think I saw someone like that before…

My thoughts roam to the memories where I walked around the Residential District with Emdos. I scrunch my forehead as I narrow my eyes and purse my lips, while lost deep in thought. When I realize I can't remember I relax my facial muscles and sigh.

"Idiot! Don't tell 'im."

"Why not? He's part of our team now you know."

Hiro clicks his tongue and then crosses his arms as he frowns. I smirk and decide to tease him a little bit. "Hiro the Great, surely you meant it the other way around right? A in Rich Mana, C in Unrefined Mana, and D in Scrap Mana. It would only be natural for someone as great as you, right?"

Hiro stares at me blankly, but then he smiles as he raises his eyebrows.

"Huh? Oh yeh… That's right. I made a mistake on my part. I'm glad ya realized my greatness! Haha." Hiro sticks out his chest in pride.

Ahh, this guy's predictable, and to think he's gonna be in my group… Hmm, so we have Luna, Hiro, Drugo, and me. Where are the other two?

Looking around the room, only our group remains. Someone is sitting down next to Luna; it's another girl. She is slightly taller than Luna, but still shorter than me, with red, straight hair that rests on her shoulders. On top of her head is a white headband. She wears a light-blue colored short-sleeved shirt coupling with a light-green skirt and dark, blue shoes looking generally frailer than Luna.

"Ah, this is Marin." Luna's hands are pointed towards the girl seated next to her. The girl stands up and faces me. She doesn't make eye contact with me for more than a second as she moves her head around in other directions.

"Umm… My name is…Marin… Nice to meet you…" she says quietly as she smiles slightly while bowing her head. Afterward, she sits back in her seat.

"It's your turn to introduce yourself, Sitos." Luna steps to the side and reveals a guy with his arms crossed standing right behind her. I immediately recognize him; it's the guy who called me a scaredy-cat. He is slightly taller than me with a slightly bigger build, and his long, black hair is tied into a ponytail behind him. He also wears a black kimono with splotches of red and a white sash around his waist. Black boots cover his feet.

"What's with that outfit?" I frown as I cock an eyebrow in disgust, instantly relaxing my facial expressions when I see Sitos walking in front of me.

"Ahh...let me see… I am Sitos. I am from the Royal District. Do not get in my way," he says in the lowest energy monotonic voice possible.

I frown as I grit my teeth, feeling like veins are popping out of my head. I don't think I wanna be his friend…ever.

Luna claps her hands together in front of her.

"Now that everyone knows each other let's head over to the front of the Academy! It looks like we only have a few minutes to spare," Luna says as she slowly walks up the stairs. I follow behind her with a smile on my face.

Chapter 4 – Academy Year 1 - Weakling

When we arrive outside, I shield my eyes from the blinding sunlight with my hands. As my eyes adjust to the light, I notice a crowd of students standing on my right. The teachers and many other adults are lined up in front of them. "It seems everyone has arrived, and you must all be wondering what you are doing out here. You will now designate your own roles within your group. A balanced group will ensure a higher survival rate in the future. Typically, adventurers carry out their missions in teams of six or more which is why you split into a group of six. These will be your teammates for as long as you are students at this Academy."

I can handle being together with Luna for five years… Drugo, Hiro, and Marin aren't that bad either…I grin as I close my eyes and fantasize about having friends.

After opening my eyes, I find Sitos staring at me. He lowers his eyebrows as he wrinkles his nose all while frowning at me.

"Great, I will be stuck withthis…for five years…" He sighs as he shakes his head.

I narrow my eyebrows and rebut, "I'm not happy aboutyoueither!"

I loosen my facial expressions, tilt my head down in dejection, and then sigh.My dream…

"It is recommended that you include one of each role to ensure that you cover and balance each other's weaknesses. The five basic roles are Tank, Mage, Archer, Heavy, and Light. The job of a Tank is to distract and defend against attacks; they use a shield and a weapon in the other hand. A Mage would stand in the backline and either cast offensive magic or support spells to help the group. Despite being at the back, they still carry a weapon or shield to defend themselves. Archers specialize in ranged combat and supports the team in the back. Heavy are users of cumbersome and powerful weapons, requiring the use of two hands to wield. Light focuses more on speed, but they can also be powerful."

I wanna be a Mage but… I can't… I'll have to keep my promise to Emdos.

"Here are five weapon trainers who specialize in each basic role. Why do you not take some time and decide amongst yourselves what role you will fulfill? When you are ready and have chosen a role, you will follow them and then decide on what weapon you will train in."

The chatter around me gradually increases, eventually filling my ears with indistinguishable sounds.

"This can be our Tank," Sitos says as he points to me.

I cock my eyebrow and point at myself.Sitos trusts me with such an important role...?

"Even if it is worthless, it can still take hits for us." I quickly frown, my patience waning from the blow to my pride.

I'm thinking about saying something, but Luna suddenly intervenes. "Now, now, Sitos, you should be nicer to Kai. Hmm… Wouldn't Drugo be a better fit for a Tank? He's the biggest one out of all of us. You can do that right, Drugo?"

My frown melts into a small smile as Luna speaks.Luna's so nice… I wonder what I'll be then if Drugo's the tank…

"Yup, I can do that. I was actually thinking about that role from the start."

"Only Heavy will be suitable for the great me!" Hiro suddenly exclaims.

Marin steps forward as she slightly raises her right hand and quietly says, "I think I'll be Archer."

I purse my lips while still lost in thought thinking about my role when suddenly someone shoves me aside. I fall backward landing on my bottom. I scowl at Sitos' back in front of me.That guy's getting on my nerves…

"Hey, Sitos…ter…" someone mutters as I'm still glaring at Sitos, but I relax my facial expressions while thinking about my role.

"Then it is settled. Luna will be Mage, and I will be Light."

"Eh? What about me?" I ask as I frown with slightly parted lips all while pointing at myself.

"We do not need you. Shoo, shoo," Sitos says as he waves his hands in a shooing motion towards me and turns around.

"Sitos, stop that… Kai, you can be anything now." I don't process the words someone says while I'm focusing on Sitos.

I squeeze my eyebrows together in a glower, tightly clenching my fists. "You bastard…"

I push myself up using my arms and legs, and I try to tackle him, but he steps aside, and I fall landing face first on the ground. While ignoring the pain that throbs around my forehead, I get back up while covering my face with my left hand. I throw my right arm back getting ready to punch him, but someone grapples my chest from behind. Judging by the thickness of his arms I figure it's Drugo. I attempt to push him away by furiously waving my arms around and using all my strength to run forward, but I can't get out of his grip. Sitos smirks at me with a dirty look.

"Bastard!" I yell as I snarl all while continuing to struggle in Drugo's lock, somehow inching closer to Sitos.

"Stop…don't fight... You too Sitos…ter… By the way Kai…ster, all of our roles are filled so you may choose whatever you wish to be," Drugo says, letting me go after I relax my muscles. I feel the hoarseness in my throat as I breathe out hot puffs of air.

One day, I'll sock him good…Luna suddenly steps in front of Sitos and slaps him leaving a red hand mark on his left cheek. The sound echoes off of the Academy walls. The conversations around us stop. Everyone's eyes are on us too.

Luna exclaims, "Sitos! You need to apologize to Kai! We're a team now and how you're treating him isn't acceptable!"

I smile slowly as my eyes become slightly watery all while glimmering at Luna.Luna… She's always on my side...

She faces Sitos with her arms on her hips. Sitos is silent for several seconds with his eyes widened and lips slightly apart. He looks away from me and apologizes in a barely audible voice, "Sorry…"

I narrow my eyebrows.What the hell… If you're gonna apologize, then do it right...

I relax my facial expressions before asking, "What was that? I didn't hear you."

Sitos points his eyebrows downward as he glares at me. "You bas—"

"Sitos...?" Luna asks, silencing him. Sitos' lips twitch as he looks at Luna for several seconds.

Soon after, he relaxes his facial expressions as he sighs, looks down, and then mutters, "I am sorry…"

I get closer to him and raise my voice. "I can'thearyou, say it more clearly!"

Sitos' entire body begins to shake. He widens his eyes as he raises his eyebrows all while taking a deep breath. "I am sorry… Be whoever you want."

Sitos' voice dies out towards the end, and he turns around. Although I discern some tears welling up in his eyes before he turns around, I'm not going to let him that off easily. I narrow my eyes as I think about what would make him the angriest. I raise my eyebrows and smirk. "I've decided...I'm gonna be Light."

"I'm glad you were able to decide so quickly, Kai!" Luna exclaims as she turns to me. A second later, Sitos clicks his tongue. Luna smiles as she asks, "Sitos, that's okay, right?"

I gulp as my eyes focus on her face feeling like I'm staring at a ferocious lion. I feel hostility seeping out of her smile that sends shivers down my spine.

"Ye-yes…"

Luna can be scary sometimes…

Luna grins at me, and I smile back hesitantly. Before I know it, everyone has continued their conversations around me. But my group remains silent, only exchanging glances at each other and smiling. One of the teachers suddenly shouts, "Listen up! My name's Fulharm and I'll be in charge of the ones in the Light category! We'll be going back into the Academy to our training room, so follow me."

He's a muscular, tall, bald man probably in his 30's with dark brown skin who is wearing a white, sleeveless shirt, black trousers, and brown boots.

Sitos avoids eye contact as he passes me following Fulharm. I walk after him and look back, immediately noticing Luna waving her hand with a wide grin on her face.

We go inside the building, where kids older than me walk around. Instead of turning right into a straight corridor containing the lecture room, we go left into a similarly long passageway. The sound of metal clashing reverberates in my ears. While wondering what the noise is, I stop following the group and slowly approach the room I heard the noise from. I slowly turn the handle and carefully open the door just wide enough to fit an eye. I support my weight against the wall as I peek inside with my right eye.

There are at least five pairs each dueling with real metal weapons. The one closest to the door, however, catches my attention the most with his ambidexterity. My eyes twinkle in admiration at his skill of being able to use two swords at once. His opponent wields only one sword, and he's constantly being pressured by the relentless assault of two. The twin swordsman's attacks didn't end until he finally knocks his opponent's sword out of his hand, causing it to clatter across the floor.So cool! I've decided… I'm gonna train hard so I can be like him!

I close the door without a sound and then turn to the hallway again, excited to start my training. However, in my distracted admiration, I lose the rest of the group. Panicking, I eventually find them.

"We're here. We'll be going into this room." Instructor Fulharm opens the door and then goes in while the rest of us follow; I'm the last one to enter. It is a large, rectangular, flat room slightly larger than the dimensions of the lecture room earlier. The floor is made out of fine wood, which is much different than the hard black and white tiles in the hallways. At the end of the room, there are a bunch of wooden swords of various sizes inside of open barrels.

"Go ahead and go over there and pick something you like. These are all light weighted training swords to build your foundations in combat. Once you have mastered this, you can practice with a different kind of weapon if you wish."

While the crowd runs over to pick up a sword, I walk over to the instructor and ask, "Instructor Fulharm, is it okay if I take two swords?"

"Hmm, that should be fine, but are you sure you can carry that much weight?"

"But aren't they light weapons?"

"Correct, but you haven't developed your body yet so it may be difficult."

I walk over to the weapon selection as I curl both lips in my mouth.Hmm… If it's difficult, maybe I can start with the medium length sword?

I go to a weapon barrel and spot a blade that appears to be the medium length sword. I grasp it with both hands and attempt to lift it in the air.So heavy…

I try to straighten my back and stand up while holding the sword in the air, but I find it difficult to maintain my balance and wobble as a result. I put the sword back in the bin and scramble around looking for the smallest sword available. I see a candidate and lift it with my right arm realizing that it is quite light. Although it only has a wooden blade of around two feet, I can comfortably lift it with just one arm and swing it around. I search the barrel for an identical sized sword and hold it in my left hand.Yeah, this'll work.

"It seems everyone has chosen a sword for now. I'll have you kids practice swinging before you do anything else." Fulharm picks up one of the longer wooden swords in the barrel near me, goes back towards the middle of the room, and holds it in front of him.

"You can use both hands if you need to for this training portion. Grip it with your dominant hand above the other hand. Hold it in front of you, raise it, and then swing it downward. Swing it by combining the forces in both in your arm and the elbow. You'll practice this until you can do this with proper form. It should look something like this."

The instructor lifts the sword above him and swiftly swings downward. The hair of the kids in front of him gets ruffled, and the sound of his slash resonates around the walls of the room, slowly dying out in a few seconds.Wow…

"Well, I don't expect you to master it to the extent that I have. Go ahead and try it for yourselves now, I'll be looking at your form."

Everyone spaces out around the room in order to practice their swing. Coincidentally, I end up standing next to Sitos on my left. He's using the same weapons that I chose. I point my left sword at him and exclaim, "Hey you copied me!"

Sitos turns his head to me and quirks an eyebrow. "Huh? If anything, you copied me because I have been training in the art of dual-wielding for a year now."

"What? You liar." He narrows his eyebrows and widens his mouth as if about to say something, but he just sighs. He turns back around and starts swinging his swords.What's with him?

I squint my eyes focusing on his swords and then at mine. My eyes widen as I open my mouth.Wha… He's using the medium-sized swords! How's that bastard so much stronger than me?

I narrow my eyes and stare at the ground. I figure he was actually telling the truth about his training. The thought of him being better frustrates me. I clench my teeth, squeezing the grip on my swords until my knuckles turn white. I position my left foot sideways slightly behind me and my right foot slightly forward.

I picture Sitos' smug face as I lift my right blade in the air in front of me, and I alternate swinging between my right and left arm while keeping both legs slightly bent. I use as much force as possible between every swing to release the pent-up anger inside of me. I only think of smashing his face while I swing each sword downward.

Ten minutes pass by, and I can't seem to get enough air into my lungs despite that I take deep, heavy breaths. I feel like my entire chest is on fire as sweat drips down from my entire face while also feeling the back of my shirt that is drenched in sweat. But I still swing down my swords; with every new swing, it feels like my arm can fall off at any moment.I can't…go…on…

I let go of the swords and fall forward. While still gasping for air, I turn my head left, glance over to Sitos, and widen my eyes. He's still swinging his swords as if he isn't affected by any fatigue at all. He turns his head towards me making brief eye contact with me and smirks. I frown bitterly and look away, staring at the ground below me.Damn it…! I'm so weak!

My eyes burn, and I shut my eyelids as far as my muscles would allow. Hot tears leak out of my eyes as I clench my fists with what little strength I have left in my body. I press my forehead to the floor to stop anyone from seeing my current state. My entire face, including my lips, twitches uncontrollably, but I force myself to not let even the quietest sound out. Warm mucus drips out of my nose onto the floor, being careful not to sniff which would create noise. I hold that position and cry to myself. I don't know how much time passes, before someone calls out to me, "Are you alright? You've been on the floor for over five minutes now."

The sudden attention frightens me, and I empty out my thoughts, attempting to calm down. I recognize the voice as the instructor Fulharm. I turn my head slightly to the right and peek through the corner of my right eye. He's squatted down next to me. My pulse shoots up rapidly.What do I do…? I don't wanna be seen…

My head shakes uncontrollably as I continue to stare at the floor. I can't breathe through my nose at all due to the congestion so I breathe deeply through my mouth in an attempt to stabilize my breathing pattern. I try to imitate my normal tone and say, "Yeah, I'm just tired from training, so I'm lying down."

"In that position?"

My face burns up in fear of being found out. I open my eyes wide while emptying out all unnecessary thoughts from my mind and focus on trying to come up with a good excuse.What's it matter to you? No. I'm too tired to move outta it… No. Damn, I'm running outta time!

"It's comfortable." My face burns even more, when I register what I just said.

What?! Why’d I say that…? Kai, you idiot! Even I wouldn't believe that!My heart beats like a drum as fresh sweat drips down my forehead. I hope that a miracle happens, and he leaves me alone.

"I'll leave you to it then…but you should gather your strength soon for the next activity."

He bought it?! Shortly afterward, he stands up and walks away. I sigh and realize I have stopped crying. I conclude that the fear of being seen probably overwhelmed my upset feelings.

"Attention! You've worked hard for your first day, but it's almost time for the next segment for today. Put away the weapons and conserve the rest of your strength. You are to report back to the front of the Academy for your next set of instructions. See ya kids tomorrow."

Footsteps in the direction of the hallway slowly fade away. Soon after, people groan and chatter around the room.

"I'm so tired."

"Me too… I couldn’t even last five minutes before I had to take a break."

I feel relieved, hearing everyone's troubles with the training like a heavy load is lifted off of my shoulders. I rub my eyes on my arms trying to get rid of the last tear drops. I lick my lips and taste the saltiness of snot that stained on my upper lip. I rest my head on my arms until all the footsteps leave the room. I slowly push myself off the ground and stand up, then suddenly hear a voice from behind me. "Finally done crying, weakling?"

I feel a shiver go down my spine.Wha… Someone was still here?!

I slowly turn around. Sitos stands there with the same smirk from earlier. I raise my voice and rebut, "I wasn't crying! And I have a name, you know!"

"Huh? You areweak,so I'll call youweakling; it is a befitting name for you. Besides, your eyes are completely red."

"No…that…I…it was the sweat! The sweat got in my eye and it burned, that’s all! If anyone was crying it was you earlier!"

He blushes as he leans back slightly. "Wha-what are you talking about? Something is wrong with your eyes… Whatever, you are not even worth talking to anyway."

And with that he walks out the door.Damn that Sitos… He makes me mad, but even though I hate to admit it, he's stronger than me. I'll train hard and make him acknowledge me.

I pick up the two swords that I practiced with and return them to the barrel they were in. My stomach suddenly growls as I look around the room noticing that I'm the only person left.Ugh… I'm so hungry…especially after that unappetizing breakfast…that I threw up. I hope I can eat something good soon.

I head for the door, but I feel the sudden urge to practice my Mana control. I get into my position and focus my concentration on my right hand, particularly on my right index finger. I want to see if I can repeat the same thing from this morning. I release my Mana and witness the dark blue Mana flow out of the tip of my finger.

I think I'm getting used to it. Hmm… But I'm still confused about what the teacher was talking about in class. He said the types of Mana were called Scrap Mana, Unrefined Mana, and Rich Mana, but none of them looked like this Mana I'm releasing right now…

I try to bring Mana from other parts of my body to the tip of my right index finger and release it as usual, but no matter where I get the Mana from, what comes out is still the same deep, dark blue color.Argh, I give up… I should probably head to the front of the building. I spent too long playing with my Mana.

I leave the room in a hurry, running in the direction I came from towards the front of the Academy again. Before I reach the entrance of the building, I bump into the Teacher from earlier.

"Hmm? You are Kai, correct? What are you still doing here? I thought everyone was already outside when I announced the instructions... You must be feeling hungry, right? If you want to eat, you will have to go to the other side of the Academy. The only rule is that you cannot go through the central corridor of the Academy to go straight there. You will have to use the right path on the right side of the Academy. There is no time limit… but you should probably hurry. Oh, I almost forgot, you should take this."

He hands me a small piece of red paper. I ponder for what it would be used for, but I decide to put it in my pocket and follow his instructions for now.

I run outside towards the right side of the Academy. When I look closer, there is space between the building and the fence that surrounds the entire building. The space between the fence and the building is much wider at the front of the Academy compared to the sides. I face the path leading to the backside of the Academy and don't see anyone in the far distance at all, so I figure that I spent longer than I thought playing around with my Mana.

I don't waste any time and start to run down the path. I imagine what kinds of food would be served, and I swallow my saliva in anticipation.


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Wed Jun 28, 2017 4:44 pm
BluesClues wrote a review...



Hi there!

So first I'm going to second DarkPandemonium in saying you should consider posting shorter installments in the future. Yes, it costs points to post, but you can always get more points by reviewing! And you won't get as much out of the site if you save points by posting long, long, long installments like this - most people will take on look at how much this is and move on to something shorter. But if you post in short installments, you're likely to get more and better-quality reviews.

ANYWAY. Moving on.

Chapter Two

I'm not sure how I feel about Emdos so far. Yes, he's clearly Kai's mentor/caretaker and has taught Kai a lot. But he strikes me as somewhat untrustworthy, even with little things like acting like he's not mad at Kai for trying something new but using food as a punishment. Also saying things like "no one will want to be friends with you if they know what you can do because they'll be jealous!" That just seems like manipulation. I mean, does he actually think NO ONE will want to be friends with Kai because they're sooooo jealous? If they are like that, Kai probably shouldn't be friends with them anyway.

So I don't know if he's going to turn out to be evil later or something, but that's my first impression of him.

I thought it was kind of clever of Kai to work out that he was leaking Mana from his palm because he hadn't restricted its flow. It was interesting to see him figure something out about his power that way, plus we learned more about it.

I could use more detail in spots like these, though.

I take slow, deep breaths as I close my eyes. Images and scenery from earlier training days play out in my head, and my consciousness fades into my memories.


The spot where Kai remembered the restaurant was similar. You tell us that he (he? I'm not actually sure at this point) remembers things, but then you move on and never give us a glimpse into his memories! They don't need to be long flashbacks, but specific details from these memories would help connect us to Kai earlier. Like in the above example, what are some particular "images and scenery from earlier training days" that he remembers? It could be a scent, a voice or other sound, the feeling of the Mana or maybe Emdos' hands as he shows Kai what to do, anything really - but it's got to be specific. Not just "memories from my early training."

Chapter Three

SEE? I TOLD him the kids wouldn't be jealous and mean just because someone's got better power than them.

It's unfortunate that they're mean if you have "no talent," but then again Kai DID make it worse on himself by bragging about how great he was going to be first. If he'd just kept quiet they might have been more sympathetic.

Oh, wow, that dream made me think, "Whoa, am I already turning out to be right about Emdos?" Because now I'm really wondering if he's going to turn out to be bad later on. I'm 100% sure Royal District Kid is going to be an antagonist of the most annoying type, where he's antagonizing in a very realistic way and causes trouble for Kai for no reason other than not liking him. Drugo doesn't seem very nice, either. But I'm glad Luna isn't the only one being nice so far. It's a bit hard to keep track of all these characters all at once, but it also made sense to introduce them the way you did, since the students were all broken up into groups. Still, it wouldn't hurt to have Luna introduce the group a little more slowly, maybe as they all head to wherever they're going next. That would also give you a chance to paint us a picture of campus as they walk.

Side note: I was SO pleased when the other kids laughed when he asked if his punishment would be to eat carrots, because that was basically my exact same reaction when he asked Emdos that in chapter two. Seriously? Carrots? Carrots are not only not scary, they're just about the only vegetable I'll even eat.

Lots of info dropped about Mana in this chapter, but the fact that you use a teacher of Mana to tell it made it better than it could've been. Like he actually has a legitimate reason for just talking on and on about Mana and how it works. That's his job.

Chapter Four

Hmm, so were Kai's eyes actually red? Like not from crying but maybe glowing red or something? It sounds like maybe they were, with the way Sitos kind of freaked out.

Question: why were they broken into groups of six if there are only five roles? I mean, plotwise I get that this way there was extra room for Kai but also possibility for more antagonism with Sitos, since they've taken the same role. But realistically it doesn't make much sense to me.

You've made Kai very flawed, which I like: he doesn't quite know when to shut his mouth, he likes to rile people up, he's practiced Mana but still has a long ways to go and for now can't really do much of it at all, and he's physically not very strong. But sometimes he's hard to sympathize with, because he can be kind of a jerk. Like when he told Luna "Don't feel bad if my results are better than yours" and then taking advantage of her sticking up for him by telling Sitos "I can't hear you, apologize louder" and then assuming Sitos is lying about practicing with dual weapons for so long.

It helps when things blow up in his face, like when his results were terrible and Sitos was so much stronger and better at using two swords. But you just might want to watch out for that, to make sure we don't start to hate him for being a smug, arrogant jerk.

Image




Skywind555 says...


There are only five roles, but it's not really required for you to fill all the roles. Like, you could have three Archers and three Tanks if you wanted to, but you'll just have to deal with certain weaknesses better for an unbalanced group.

And yeah, Sitos is kinda meant to be portrayed as a smug, arrogant jerk at this point.



BluesClues says...


Ah, okay. So in that case technically ANY of them could've been whatever they liked, but it's just more preferable to have all five roles on your team.



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Wed Jun 28, 2017 10:21 am
Panikos wrote a review...



Hi, Skywind555. Pan here to fry up a review for this almighty piece.

The first thing I'd recommend would be to post in smaller chunks in future. While I'm not against reading longer pieces if there's no natural stopping point, it's much, much easier to do in-depth reviews for singular chapters rather than several of them. If you'd posted chapter two by itself, I could've taken it paragraph by paragraph and really focused in on the nitpicks, but it would just take too much time to do that for three chapters. So I would suggest smaller updates in future.

Nevertheless, I can do a review of general strengths and weaknesses. I did go back to look at chapter one after reading this, so I'm up to date with everything.

Strengths

1) I enjoy Kai as a protagonist, at least in this section. He has a goofy likeability to him and is suitably flawed. I remember thinking that he had a lot of growing up to do when he got embarrassed by the idea of a girl protecting him, but that's not an unrealistic mindset for an eleven-year-old boy. Though the first chapter seems to suggest that his attitudes to women have actually got worse over the years, which is interesting in an unsettling kind of way. Even though I found Kai unpleasant to read about in the first chapter, I'm curious to see how the young kid at this academy turns into someone like that.

2) The world is well realised. Even though your pacing is sometimes a bit slow, the upside is that you dwell on the setting and develop it in a tangible way. I have a sense of the location even if I still don't know much about it.

3) The most interesting aspect of these chapters is definitely the relationship between Edmos and Kai, in my opinion. I can't quite place it. It's framed like quite a caring parental relationship, but the way Edmos punishes Kai almost feels like subtle abuse, the kind of abuse that people would think nothing of if you spoke out against it. I don't know if that's deliberate on your part, but it intrigued me. Plus there's the fact that he's keeping him in the dark about his own abilities, and I can't figure out whether that's to protect him or to use him. Either way, it's interesting.

4) Your prose style is simple and coherent. It's not difficult to read.

5) Your magical system is interesting and feels well thought out, even though your exposition for it is a bit too dense for my liking. I particularly like the feature about the darkness of the Mana being relative to the strength of it; it's a neat way to show Kai's abnormality.

Overall, I enjoyed reading these chapters - if I hadn't, it's unlikely that I'd be writing this review. However, there's a couple of recurring problems that need sorting.

Weaknesses

1) A lot of the writing in these chapters feels distinctly For The Audience. By that I mean it's only there to make sure the reader is filled in on the backstory and knows what's going on. A particular offender is the first paragraph:

It's the last day of the year 3563. The dry, frigid weather had you're writing in present so you don't need to use the past perfect passed several months ago, and since then, the temperature has increased substantially. I know that the temperature will get even hotter, though, here in the Kingdom of Drosera. The Academy of Drymo will accept new Human students to begin their training as adventurers on the first day of the new year. I can hardly believe it's tomorrow.


All of this stuff is commonplace knowledge to Kai, so it feels unnatural for him to explain it. It reminds the reader that they're outside of the story. It also feels like a cop-out; rather than integrating the information gradually and letting us pick it up as we go along, you dump it on us in the first paragraph just to get it out of the way. It's inelegant, and it doesn't make for a particularly engaging opening. I honestly think you could cut almost the entire paragraph and start with 'I can hardly believe it's tomorrow'. It's straight to the point and it raises questions - it's the point where you captured my attention properly. Your call, of course.


2) Dialogue. The first conversation between Emdos and Kai is a bit stilted. It doesn't feel real enough, partly because, again, it's largely For The Audience. Take this first bit:

"Kai, it's finally time for you to continue your training at the Academy. Since you are now 11, you can enroll in the next batch of students tomorrow," Emdos informs.


Kai would already know this. If my dad or sister came up to me and said "Beth, it's finally time for you to resume your studying at the university. As you are nineteen, you will be enrolling in your second year", it would be pretty weird, right? Because I already know all that. The only reason Emdos says this is so the reader is clear on what Kai is about to do, which means it doesn't sound authentic. It's unnecessary, too, because the reader will work out what's happening from the events of the story. They don't need to be told.

Another issue is that Kai feels very young in that first conversation. It gets better in the later chapters, but some of the stuff he says to Edmos sounds like something a really young child would come out with, not an eleven year old. It can sound a bit pantomime, too, especially when he's saying stuff like 'if you say so, Edmos! You're always right!' and 'I guess I'll have to listen to you, Edmos'. Doesn't feel natural to me.

3) You spend a bit too long on the passage where he wakes up and practices controlling his Mana. It spans paragraphs and paragraphs, even though nothing of particular note happens during it - it feels a bit like a crash course in how Mana works rather than something of its own merit. You could definitely cut it down, given that its only the part where he channels it through his finger that actually ties into what happens next in the story.

4) I'm not fond of your habit of having paragraphs of italics where you describe what Kai is thinking. That kind of thing can work well in snatches and short bursts, but you do it so much that it feels like another clarifying device. You're telling the reader what Kai is thinking rather than letting them glean it from his behaviour, which isn't the most effective way of making the reader feel a part of the story.

5) The characterisation of the side characters could do with some work. The passage where Kai is introduced to them is a bit confusing, especially the part with Hiro - I couldn't really follow the conversation and I didn't understand what was going on with Hiro's results. I appreciate that you can't flesh out characters in such a short space of time, but they should still feel like real people. Sitos feels like a parody of a douche to me, and way too easy to dislike. Luna has potential, but I don't get any sense of an individual personality from her. She's just the beautiful smart girl who's nice to the protagonist despite the fact that he was really cocky with her (if some guy condescended to me about how he was going to get way better results than me, I wouldn't give him the time of day). Make sure you give her her own goals and motivations and quirks. Give them all flaws and virtues, because humanised characters are always more interesting than stereotypical ones.

6) I'm kind of confused as to why they would choose their roles before they've even learnt anything. It seems like a big decision to make before you've even established what your strengths and weaknesses are. It'd be like choosing which subjects you were going to take your final exams in on your first day of secondary school.

There is more I could comment on, but I'm quite strapped for time so I'll leave other points to future reviewers. They're strong chapters overall, and there's some great scenes in there - the one where Kai has to drink the awful soup and where he puts his head on the floor to hide that he's crying are particularly good. You just need to work on explaining less and showing more, because at the moment it feels like you're holding the reader's hand and spoonfeeding them all of the lore. You also need to rely less on Kai's internal monologue to communicate his emotions.

I hope this helped. If you need me to clarify anything, just ask - I know I was quite general in this review.

Keep writing! :D
~Pan




Skywind555 says...


Thanks for the indepth review! I wrote these chapters like two years ago so my usage of italics/internal dialogue was a lot. In the later chapters I use them less. But, I do get some readers who actually like the internal dialogue so it's a bit hard to tell if I should include more or less.

For the beginning conversation of Kai and Emdos is the only problem the quote you pointed out?

For your third point, yeah it's basically a "show" of different ways you can control Mana. I figure it was the only way to really illustrate it.

Fair point on six, but picking a role early on lets you focus on those areas. It isn't stated anywhere in the story, but I'd probably say that it's possible to switch roles at any time if necessary. I'll probably add a detail that implies that somewhere in the story



Skywind555 says...


Hmm, yeah. So I removed the troublesome quote you mentioned and a few other lines below that. It's actually a repeat of information mentioned in chapter 11. Let me know if there's still something written for The Audience.



Panikos says...


The Mana passage would work fine if you could just cut it down a bit. If you could compress the internal dialogue sections and make the bit where he gets out of bed a bit pacier, I think that would do fine. It just feels a bit back-and-forth at the moment.

The new opening line in the Edmos and Kai convo is much better. One thing I did spot is the bit where Kai says "I just need to practice expelling Mana outta my hands and controlling how much comes out, right?", which also feels a bit For The Audience. If he just said 'I just need to practice what I always do?' or something like that, it'd probably feel more natural. I'll leave it with you, though. :)




Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think.
— Niels Bohr