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Young Writers Society


18+ Language Violence Mature Content

VALOR - Chapter 4 - A Tale on the Front Lines

by ShallowHouse


Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language, violence, and mature content.

Smoke. I saw it in the distance, above the snowed in house right in front of me. Smoke. I heard the cries in the air as they were slowly replaced by the sound of explosions throughout the city. Smoke. One long huff and I tossed it aside before finally focusing on the mechanical enemy right in front of my squad.

I pointed my sword forward. "Maximum penetration! Fire!"

My ears rang as a volley of bullets filled with wind magic whizzed past me and clashed against the agertank, creating dents and not a hole in sight. They've upgraded? Interesting... The agertank stopped about fifty feet away from us - its barrel trained on me and my squad.

BOOM!

A shell from the tank darted straight towards me. "Aero!" I coated my sword with wind magic and sliced the shell in two. Half a second passed when I heard both halves explode. I didn't take into consideration that it would still explode. I heard the screams of my men as they were blown away and torn apart limb from limb by the blast. I felt the shockwave brush against my skin as warm blood stained my hair and cheek. It's funny. I didn't mind. I work better alone. Maybe I should thank them for ridding me of their presence.

A deep breath, "Aero." I let wind magic energize my feet.

I picked up a handful of dirt. "Grug." I commanded the earth to harden my torso, my neck and my fists.

Sleeves rubbed together, "Kuum." Lightning coursed through my limbs, giving them faster movement.

I lit up my lighter. "Ager." I didn't make a fire; instead, I used heat. It spread from my hand and coursed through my sword that now glowed a bright red hue.

I leaned forward and made one step.

BOOM!

It wasn't the sound of the agertank. It was the sound of me going past the speed of sound. Reaching the vehicle in less than a second, I sliced off the tank gun in half like it was butter and punched the door open. Of course. They were ready - firing bullets right at as I did.

A deep breath, "Aero!" I thrust my open hand inside. The wind pushed away their guns and slammed against the walls of the tank.

I jumped inside and saw three men with surprised expressions. I gave them a smile, "Thank you for letting me in, gentlemen."

I slashed off the arms and legs of one of them but no blood came out - cauterized by the high heat of my blade. I let a smile out as the screaming man laid down on the ground. His pain… his despair… so… enjoyable… In the middle of the panic, I grabbed the other soldier's neck and he immediately spasmed. The electric current from my arm flowed through him and smoke rose from every orifice of his body. I smelled the scent of burning skin and while it wasn't as aromatic as I hoped, it was as if I was cooking a lizard- no, an ant. I tossed the burnt man aside and focused all of my attention to this last ant. He was cowering in the corner. I quite enjoy his fear. His life is in my hands and I can do whatever I want with him. I saw his trousers. They were wet with fear. I gave him the reward for amusing me. One slash. The head flew off like a bird leaving the nest. A fine sight.

Having had my fill, I left the screaming, limbless man alone with his dead comrades and stood on top of the agertank.

With a deep breath, I deactivated my magic all at once. I felt all my muscles ache as if they recently lifted a tank and my sword became brittle from the extreme heat. But that's the price you pay for enhancing your body. I sat down on the tank to take a rest when I heard a gunshot from a block away on my left. Another shot, followed by one more. I followed the source of the sound and saw three civilians in a partially destroyed park. One man with a gun, one man lying down in the snow and a wailing woman kneeling over him. Stupid civilians. They should have left when they had the chance!

I put my hand on the handle of my sword. "Article 66 of the Herrholdt Republic Civil Code states that one life can kill another under the pretense of self-defense. Whilst Article 117 states that civilians must have a license in order to carry firearms."

The man pointed his gun at me. His hair was long and unkempt. His complexion was one that has not felt the grace of water. His clothes were dirty, tattered and torn, mere makeshift clothes from different fabrics. Shivering hands, trembling feet. Is the woman unharmed? No matter. She's not the threat. I am. 

"Why did you kill him, sir?"

"Stay back!"

"Sir, do you have a licen-"

"Are you deaf, bitch? I said stay back!"

I've had a good day. I won't let this day be trampled by mere insults coming from a monkey that keeps on blabbering!

"If you don't answer…" I unsheathed my sword and it broke by the handle. Figures. I threw it on the ground and cracked my knuckles "I'll assume you killed that man in cold blood and I'll be forced to take matters into my own hands."

"Do you want to die?!"

"In a few minutes," I took out a cigarette from my breast pocket and put it between my lips. "We will have full control of the town." I lit it up and breathed in a lungful "When the sirens ring, that's my cue to enforce the law."

"You can't do anything," he sneered. "Your sword's broken!" His hands were trembling but his aim was still at me. I didn't reply so he wouldn't talk any more. We just stared at each other… waiting under the falling snow… I could hear his breathing. Erratic. I could do it now. But that would be against the law - their law. The sirens will ring soon. Just wait for a while. He won't move. Not while I don't. He'll react. I'll be the one to act. Just a few more seconds…

WAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

I whispered, "Kuum" to give my legs explosive strength. I lunged towards him. I heard the hammer being cocked. I'm still too far. He started to pull the trigger. I kicked myself forward. A bang!

I shifted my weight to the side and the bullet grazed my cheek. A small price to pay. I thrust my hand into his chest in retaliation. He groaned and on his face was the face of a man with a tumultuous upbringing freed from the chains of hunger and poverty. He faced death as a man. Good.

He let go of his gun and fell into my embrace. Lifeless, I set him down and retracted my broken hand from his heart. The no bone fractures, just dislocated joints and I think I chipped a nail. With my job done, I left for the advance camp to have my hand treated.

I went to the infirmary and the place had a pungent smell of antiseptic. Every where I looked, there are no beds that had no one on it. Even some of the wounded had to be treated on the bloodstained floor. I stopped a medic who was frantically pushing a cart of blood bags.

"How many are in here?" 

"About three dozen, Ma'am." He's avoiding my gaze. He knows of my reputation.

"I'll return later to have this treated." I showed him my hand that bent in all the wrong ways.

"You should get it treated now!" 

"No." I motioned to the soldiers on the floor, "You have more pressing matters to attend to. I'll return later. I must speak with High Command and the Hauptman."

I left the room and looked for the soldier in charge with communications.

"Ma'am!" 

"At ease, Auberlutnant. I need a line to High Command right away."

"Understood!"

She waded through cables and returned with a phone.

"Thank you, Auberlutnant."

"You don't seem as scary as they said..."

"I'm sorry?" I shot her a stare and she flinched, "What does that have to do with anything?"

"My apologies, Ritmaster!" She lowered her head in panic.

Maybe I reacted too harshly... 

"It's not like I wanted them to fear me, Auberlutnant. They chose to fear me just because a soldier saw me drenched in blood in a mountain of enemy soldiers."

"D-did you do it all by yourself?" 

"I'll leave that up to you. Now give me a moment to myself. I will speak to High Command now."

"Yes, ma'am!" the woman saluted before leaving the room.

I locked the door behind her then dialed High Command.

"This Ritmaster..."

I briefed them of the aftermath of the battle, casualties and all.

"Understood. High Command will assess the damages before passing judgment onto Hauptman Luwenhoff. Glory to the Republic."

"Glory to the Republic."

I put the answering machine back and left the room. Since the medical facilities are still  I might as well deal with the Hauptman...

"Ah, there she is! The Blood Red Devil of Ansat!" said Hauptman Luwenhoff, who is both a pig with an insatiable hunger and a fox without a brain. "Care for a drink of my finest Arisian wine? Despite them being scholastic fools, they make damn good wine! We should celebrate this momentous victory!"

"Sir, you are in uniform and we are on duty. Have a sense of decorum." I brushed past him, straight towards the caffeine machine which already had one cup brewed and ready to be drunk. "Besides, this town, Henru, is it? It is a cesspool with no strategic value. You think that's even worth celebrating about?"

"Well my strategy worked so it's fin- That's mine, Lieutenant."

"I don't see your name on it, Hauptman." I gave him a wry smile and took a sip of the coffee. "In a few minutes, High Command will be contacting you regarding your recent… expenditures." I took another sip, "Coffee machine? In the front lines?

"Well, no one can soldier on without coffee." 

"While I can't disagree with that, they are also disappointed with your strategies. Seriously? Surrounding the town with our company especially when we're already spread so thin? Hauptman, are you the epitome of retardation?"

"You dare insult me?!" He unsheathed his sword and pointed it at me, "Men, come here at once!"

I took another sip as soldiers entered and blocked the entrance. "How many men do you think we lost in this battle?"

"Does that even matter?" the Luwenhoff chuckled, "We won using my superior strategy, right? That's what matters!"

The ones surrounding me looked at each other with surprised looks. I have witnesses, good.

"Are you hearing yourself right now? You're willing to throw away the lives of these soldiers so that you can win a backwater town? After that, what are you going to do? Climb the ranks? And when you're in a higher position, you'll do the same thing again and win the war with most of our men lost? A nation doesn't exist if there are no people in it. " I turned to the soldiers, "All these men have families to go back to: wives to love, children to raise, mothers that will weep at the sight of their return, alive or otherwise. You think that doesn't matter? Are you really fighting for your country or are you fighting for your career?"

The soldiers' rifles that were so firmly pointed at me started to waver. Some even lowered it completely.

"Out of one hundred and forty two people we had today, we lost eighty three. Do you think that doesn't matter? Well would it matter if they realize that you were the one to blame for this... 'superior strategy' of yours?"

I saw a boy whose age seemed no less than seventeen closing his eyes in grief and in anger. He looked so convinced that I was just some woman attempting to assassinate the might Hauptman but I saw it in his eyes. He lost a friend or two in this battle.

With great reluctance, "AAAAAGH!" the boy screamed and redirected his rifle from me to the Hauptman.

"Hold on there, boy." Luwenhoff was so taken aback that he raised his sword along with his voice. "I am your commanding officer! If you dare fire that gun, you'll be punished for insubordination and be charged with treason under penalty of death!"

"He's right." I shoved past the men and lowered the boy's gun and whispered in his ear. "Just wait for a bit, okay? You'll get the opportunity in a while."

With a nod, I smiled at him and turned to face Luwenhoff. He was still standing tall and prideful unbefitting a pig but I saw anxiety starting to form on his face.

BRRRRRRRING!

The telephone on the the wall behind the Hauptman rang. I gestured for him to answer it and with a bit of hesitance, he finally put the hearing device on his ear.

"This is Haup-" he stopped to listen to what High Command had to say. "...Yes sir. I understand, sir." He raised the answering device and looked towards me. "High Command wants to talk to you."

You sly pig… fine, I'll be the devil you wish me to be. I walked over to the phone and answered, "This is Ritmast-"

"Ritmaster, you are hereby promoted to Hauptman. Arrest Mora Luwenhoff and give him any punishment you see fit. He is a danger to society and to the great Herrholdt Republic."

"Understood, sir. Long life the Republic."

As soon as I put back the listening device, I ducked immediately and the answering device was stabbed by Luwenhoff. Underestimating me by not using magic just because I just came from the battlefield and have a broken hand?

"How typical." I muttered and grabbed his extended arm and struck his elbow with my broken hand. Both my fingers as well as his elbow bent the wrong way. "Afraid of High Command but not afraid of the Devil?"

Not satisfied in the slightest, I kicked his manhood with as much strength I can muster. Every man in the tent recoiled from the sight. "I will slice off your balls and switch them with your eyes, you greedy fucking pig!"

I spat on him and took his sword. "Arrest this swine. Tomorrow at dawn, he goes to the firing range. He's lacking iron in his body."

Smiles appeared from the faces of those who had lost a friend or a lover during the war. All because of this imbecile. Now they're getting their due revenge. After personally seeing him dragged off to a cell under lock and key, enforced with protective earth magic, I took a whiff of the air as I inspected the Captain's sword. It was better in quality than what I had if not leagues better. I could imbue all the fire magic I had in it and it would still be just the same. And the design is beautiful. A gold circular pommel with the symbol omega, a leather grip that seemed to be made by a masterwork craftsman, a gold plated crossguard with gems embedded by the tongue and a double-edged crimson blade emitting a dark glow. This was my personal reward to myself as the new Captain.

After having my hand treated, I felt like going out for a walk into the newly conquered town. My feet struggled to walk but I needed to get away from the soldiers. They lost a lot today and seeing me wouldn't have done any good.

I stopped in the middle of the town square and sat on the broken pedestal of a fallen statue. The scent of war still permeated the air as I scanned the area. The whole town was so quiet, save for the cackling fires. I might as well have called it desolate if not for eyes that appeared from behind doors, windows and holes every now and again. Most of them were hostile stares. I couldn't blame them. This petty skirmish took a toll on their home and their livelihoods. They wouldn't be able to adjust to a new management that quickly.

As I kept scanning the area, a particular sight caught my eye. Far off in the distance I saw a child holding a puppy and crying. One of its eyes was dangling out from its skull. One of its paws was torn off and the entirety of its lower half was missing. I saw a burnt woman in a fetal position in a corner half buried under the snow. In her embrace, was the scorched remains of an infant. I heard the faint wails of an enemy soldier trapped under a pile of rubble as street children danced over that same rubble, oblivious to the screams coming from below.

I ignored all their pleas and just sat there in the middle of the square under silent stares of vilification. I could help them. I would. But I know they wouldn't let me get even near them.

"E-excuse me."

A voice. A young girl in her mid teens. I turned around and saw a dirtied face with dry, busted lips. On her shaking hands was a sliced potato on a plate. I raised a brow and she flinched. 'Am I really that scary?' I thought to myself but shook off the thought.

"State your name and what's on your hand."

"I-I'm, I'm Desni. Desni Vilke a-a-and this is a cooked potato for y-y-you."

For me? Is this girl right in her mind? I'm her enemy and she offered me food. If this is to feed me poison then I might as well take her down with me.

"Would you like to have a bite, Desni?"

"Well…" Her mouth salivated but managed to keep herself composed and shook her head vehemently, "No, no! This is just me offering my thanks!"

She wanted to eat the potato too but instead gave it to me… she really did lose her mind.

"Then you must be in shock because of the explosions earlier."

"I…" She finally lowered her head. I expected her to agree but I didn't expect the next words that came out, "Well, you saved me, ma'am."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Desni set the plate beside me and walked closer. I slowly put my hand on my sword. If she tries anything…

"Earlier, you saved me and avenged my father. The one on the ground was my father and the other man with the gun was our neighbor. I went to the edge of town to see my friends off when the battle started."

"Why didn't you leave with them?"

"I couldn't leave without my father!"

Despite her being afraid, I was surprised that she could make that defiant face in front of me.

"A fire broke out and burned our house and everything in it. So we asked our neighbor for food. When we met up with him, he said he wanted to have me…"

"So he killed your father for trying to defend you and then I came along."

I saw her sniffle and nod.

"Why did you come here to give me… a potato?" I took it and ate a whole slice.

"My father used to say to help those that helped you. And you…" She stopped speaking.

I was eating another slice when I felt a warm sensation on my broken hand. I looked to see Desne cautiously grabbing my arm by the wrist.

"What are you doing?"

I let her lift my hand up.

"Why isn't it healing? Can't you use magic to heal this?"

Is she serious?

I chuckled, "Magic can't heal, Desne. But it can help heal."

"Oh. How did it break?"

Does this child really have nothing to pester me with such a question? But since she asked…

"I used lightning to have enough force to pierce your neighbor's chest."

"You must be tired then."

Stop appealing to me. I must take control of the conversation!

"Yes, very tired. And you must be hungry."

"Oh no! I'm not!" she waved her hands, despite her stomach rumbling after denying. "Well… you accepted it already so…"

"Come with me to headquarters. I'll make sure you have your fill of meat since you're essentially a citizen of the Republic now."

"Meat?!" she stared at me with wide eyes. Her mouth was already salivating a lot but at the mention of meat, she started to drool. Disgusting yet oddly adorable.

"I'm doing my part as a soldier of Herrholdt Republic. Tonight, you can dine with us." I've already eaten half of the potato and gave her the rest.

She accepted the potato and sat down beside me. Looking over the war-torn plaza, Desne started to talk.

"It feels like people just destroyed the town for no reason."

For some reason, I found that statement amusing.

"The civilian perspective sure is funny," I chuckled. "It definitely looks like soldiers have no concern for the living - just trample everything in their path, but no. Even soldiers don't know what's happening. Those who saw the beginning of the war thirty years ago have all died. In a war that's been going on this long, who cares who's right? Everyone wants this war to stop but too much blood has been spilled that both sides have no choice but to go all in."

"What does that have anything to do with us?"

"Nothing and everything. You live in a nation under war and you didn't consider moving out."

"It's not our fault!" Desne stood up in defiance.

"Soldiers can say the same. They were just following orders."

"A Herrholdt soldier had his way with my mother. That's why she killed herself!"

I stopped speaking. She had just lost her father and before that, her mother was sullied. Her eyes swelled as she kept speaking.

"That soldier was one of our own saying we owe it to them since they're protecting this town… and everyone just watched as they took her away to their camp!"

She bawled her eyes out. This girl has had it worse than me. Should I help her? If I do, I'll have to watch over her and I'll have less time on the battlefield...

"Do you have any family left?"

"What..?" she raised her head even though she still kept crying.

"I asked you, if you have anyone else you can go to?"

She shook her head, "No…"

"Then do you want to be like me?"

"No…"

What? I was speechless and I'm sure she knew that I was surprised.

"Back when you saved me…" She rubbed off the tears from her eyes, "I saw your face. You were smiling as if… You enjoy taking the lives of people… I don't want to be like that!"

I thought we were the same but no. We're completely different. I chose to be like this because it was the only thing I knew since I lost my mother… She lost both her parents and still had the conviction to be…

"I'm going to join you! But I don't want to be like you! I want to be…"

Kind.

I laughed. Not at her conviction, but at my own foolishness. It seems that she and I are just two sides of the same coin.

"Welcome to our army, Pioner Vilke!"

She stood straight, almost like a soldier would and saluted. I can see the fire in her eyes, a determination that even I never had and probably never will. "At ease."

"What are we going to do now, ma'am?"

"Since you're a soldier now, call me Hauptman Vitia Favelson."

"Yes, Hauptman Favelson!"

"Good! Now let's get to fighting these Arisian bastards!"

--- End of Chapter 4 ---

Hoi! ShallowHouse in da haus! This chapter really did me in! I definitely do hope you enjoyed this... Technically Chapter 3.5 but hey! I tried to do an grand battle showcasing the power (and drawbacks) of magic! Really, this is just to gauge which side of the war people would prefer and to see if this chapter had any sense at all!


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84 Reviews


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Reviews: 84

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Fri May 01, 2020 9:16 pm
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Icon wrote a review...



Oh my goodness! I can't believe this slipped under my radar.
I really enjoyed this chapter! I liked how you focused on both sides, and this was a great way to show that this war isn't all about cool magic and heroics. The darker tone you set is vastly different from that of the other chapters, but it integrated well into the story. That said, I have a few small critiques.

- The use of an exclamation mark on "BOOM!" made it read as almost... happy? At least in my opinion. Just swapping it out for a period would add to the mood. (I told you these were small lol)

- "I saw a boy whose age seemed no less than seventeen" This description feels really awkward, maybe try something more along the lines of "I saw a boy, no younger than seventeen,..."

-Without too much background, this can get a little confusing, but not to the point where it's impossible to understand. More of a "hold on, I need to reread that sentence" type deal.

I really hope this was helpful! I cant wait to read the next chapter! :smt003 But not too soon, don't overwork yourself.

-Forever your toast, Icon




ShallowHouse says...


I'm really glad you enjoyed the chapter!!
And thank you for the critiques! They do help and I always want to improve so I can bring you the best stories ever! Thank you again, Icon! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3



Icon says...


No problem, Shallow :smt003



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Mon Apr 27, 2020 9:27 am
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JenTep wrote a review...



Certainly action packed! I would encourage more detail as things settle down, more break up between things happening. Fights are allowed to be a blur in my eyes but actions have consequences, which you did do nicely with the aftermath of such heavy magical use! She seems ungodly jaded to it all, makes me curious of the time leap. The war was at least thirty years old if I recall correctly, I wonder where that puts her in the previous chapters...

But I understand having a singular focus when you're creating something, other things won't be as refined as they usually are. Keep playing with philosophies and other techniques, I could see how this chapter could take it out of someone but now that it's done, you could probably teach yourself a great deal just going back over it line by line with a different focus in mind!

Glad to see the inspiration shine through, Hauptman Favelson will be an interesting figure to follow into battle!

Good luck, have fun, don't burn yourself out (and hydrate)!
-J.T.




ShallowHouse says...


Hoi!! Thank you for the review! And I'm super happy you met my Vitia! She was the girl in the prologue and she's my Tanya! HAHAHAHAHA (she's 23 years old now! They grow up so fast TuT)

But yes, I tried to make sure both sides are heard, unlike lots of history books... And I'll try to make more of these... Grim chapters because I enjoyed writing them a lot!
Thank you again for the kind words and the encouragement! <3 <3 <3



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Mon Apr 27, 2020 5:51 am
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JacobMoor wrote a review...



Hi, Shallowhouse!

This is really fun to read! Just went through the first few chapters, I like the concept. Good story you've got going here. I think it has a lot of potential, I particularly liked the start. There are a few bits and pieces that you could change, like description of the agertank. "Mechanical enemy" sounds a little awkward, but if you replaced it with a description of what the tank looked like that might make it better. And you'll want to write some stuff in between dialogue to break it up a little, it gets a bit heavy at some points. Other than that, it was really good!

Have fun,

Jacob




ShallowHouse says...


Oh gosh, now that you mention it... Mechanical enemy would make it sound like a robot or a mech! Thank you for pointing that out! I'm planning on not editing my chapters so that I can consult the reviews at any time and see the mistakes I've made!

And I'll lessen the load on the dialogue! It was an experimental chapter where I tried to be as philosophical as possible!



ShallowHouse says...


Oh gosh, now that you mention it... Mechanical enemy would make it sound like a robot or a mech! Thank you for pointing that out! I'm planning on not editing my chapters so that I can consult the reviews at any time and see the mistakes I've made!

And I'll lessen the load on the dialogue! It was an experimental chapter where I tried to be as philosophical as possible!




In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.
— JRR Tolkien