Cover art for A God Named Sin | Chapter 2 Continued + Chapter 3

A God Named Sin | Chapter 2 Continued + Chapter 3

by SavageRaptor109

Published February 13, 2026

16+ Language Violence

In A God Named Sin

Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language and violence.

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In preparation for Review Day, here's some stuff from A God Named Sin to review. This is picking up at the end of Chapter 2 -- Version 2.

A God Named Sin

By Heather Anderson

Chapter 2 - A Camp and A Captain | Continued

They looked almost like… they were waiting for something. They disappeared from sight after the wagons turned a corner, the trees blocking her view.

As the wagons moved through the forest, Rylie sat in silence, still trying to process everything that had just happened. She felt numb, like she was in a dream. That didn’t feel real. It couldn’t have been real.

“You’ve been a little quiet since that happened,” a voice said. Rylie jumped and turned to see who was talking.

It was Xevik, walking alongside the wagon. He was covered in blood and dirt, and he had a deep gash on his shoulder.

“Are you okay?” Xevik asked.

“I’m fine,” Rylie answered quickly.

“Don’t lie to me. I can tell you’re not fine. You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Xevik said.

Rylie sighed. “I just… W-what was that back there?”

“An ambush. They were dark magic users,” Xevik said. “Killian thinks they were staking out the camp for days. But you spotted them and gave their position away.”

“Why did they attack?”

“War. That’s the reason our encampment was there,” Xevik said, reaching into a satchel and pulling out a rolled up paper. He unrolled it, revealing a map. Rylie peered over to look at the map. It looked like an old Middle Ages map. Xevik pointed at a spot on the map where there were a bunch of markings of crossed swords along the edge of an area called “The Dead Forest.”

“This is where we are. Our camp was supposed to be a first line of defense from anyone trying to go in or out of the Dead Forest.”

“The Dead Forest. What’s that?” Rylie asked.

“It was just a regular forest. It’s only called the Dead Forest because of rumors and myths surrounding it. But now, it’s home to all the dark magic users. No one knows what it’s like in there, but anyone who goes in never comes back out,” Xevik explained.

Rylie leaned back into the wagon. “So… what now?”

“We’re going to the next closest military encampment,” Xevik said. “Killian will decide what to do after that.”

Rylie nodded and looked away, staring into the trees as they passed. She still couldn’t shake the image of the battle from her head.

The group continued to travel for several days, eventually arriving at another military encampment. Rylie was asleep in the wagon when they arrived. She hadn’t slept much since the attack. This was the first time she had gotten more than a few minutes of sleep. Though, sleeping in the back of a wagon full of various equipment and supplies was not the most comfortable. But, it was better than nothing.

The wagon stopped, and Rylie woke up, looking around sleepily. A person came down a hill on which the camp was perched on.

“Who goes there?!” They yelled.

“Captain Killian G’Klair, 17th Dark Magic encampment,” Killian said, approaching the person.

“What brings you all the way over here?” The person asked, lowering their guard slightly.

“Our camp was ambushed and destroyed by dark magic users,” Killian explained.

The person’s eyes widened. “I thought the camp was hidden. How did they find you?”

“I don’t know. But the camp is unusable now,” Killian replied.

The person's eyes scanned all the soldiers. "I'll go get my captain and see what he wants to do."

Killian nodded and watched the person run back up the hill to the camp. A few minutes later, the person came back with another person, this one taller and a bit older looking, with grey eyes, a black wolf tail and ears, and black hair to match. The new person looked around, spotting Killian, and walked over to him.

"Killian G'Klair, is it? I was told your camp got attacked?" The person said, offering a hand for a handshake. "I'm Captain Cain Cyril."

"Yes sir," Killian responded, taking the handshake.

"Sorry about your losses," Cain said, letting go. "But we can't really take you in. We're on the brink of war and are stretched thin as it is."

"I understand. We packed as many tents and supplies as we could before fleeing. I just need a temporary place to stay while I send word to the council," Killian explained, glancing back at Rylie. "And to... make some arrangements for a special case."

Cain looked back to see what Killian was looking at, but Killian stepped in the way.

“If that’s the case, then I can allow that,” Cain said. "You and your soldiers can camp out on the hillside, and you're welcome to share our rations. We can get a message out for you. It shouldn't take long. I'll have some of my men come help you set up.”

"Thank you, sir," Killian replied, before walking back to the wagons. "Men, we'll be camping on the hill. Start unloading the supplies and set up the tents."

Rylie stretched, still feeling utterly exhausted from getting no sleep whatsoever. Xevik walked up and grabbed the side of the wagon, looking in at her. "Good morning, sleepyhead," he said. "Want some help getting down?"

"I think I'm alright," Rylie said, standing up and climbing out of the wagon. She almost immediately tripped and fell forward, but Xevik caught her.

“You sure you don’t need help?” Xevik asked, chuckling. Rylie glared at him.

Killian walked over to her and Xevik. "We'll be camping here for a few days. I'm going to send a messenger to the council and get everything figured out. Try not to draw too much attention, Rylie. You caused a big stir when you showed up at my camp and I'd hate to give Cyril the same migraine."

"Okay," Rylie said, still half asleep.

"Good," Killian said, before walking away.

"Hey," Xevik said, gently tapping Rylie's shoulder. "How about we get you set up with a tent and a bedroll? You look like you could use some rest. And letting you sleep in there would help soldiers from this camp not see you and cause a panic.”

Rylie nodded and followed Xevik to a stack of tents and bedrolls. “Whatever you think is best.”

Xevik smiled softly and picked up a bedroll and a small tent. “I’ll make sure it’s quiet where you’re at.”

Xevik led Rylie to the edge of the camp and found a relatively flat spot. He quickly set up the tent. The tents these people used were so different than the ones Rylie used when camping that she was completely useless in helping.

Once the tent was set up, Xevik put the bedroll inside. He then grabbed Rylie and carefully pushed her into the tent. Rylie let out a yelp of surprise.

“What the hell was that for? I can still move on my own,” Rylie asked, turning to face Xevik. Xevik smirked. His eyes were twinkling with a hint of mischief.

"Sorry, I just wanted to mess with you," Xevik responded.

"That wasn't funny,” Rylie said, crossing her arms.

Xevik rolled his eyes. “Just get some sleep. I think your attitude is from being tired.”

Rylie huffed but didn't argue, laying down on the bedroll and watching Xevik leave. It was a bit hard to sleep with the sounds of the other soldiers setting up the camp and the bustle from the camp nearby, but Rylie managed to eventually fall asleep.

Rylie woke up later to a small commotion outside her tent.

“I heard some rumors from Killian’s people,” one voice said. “The winds say they have a human.”

Someone laughed. “A human? As if. Those are just stories and myths. You can’t actually believe that, can you?”

“I don’t know. I heard lots of soldiers talking about it. They said that one solider found the human in the woods with a bad leg break,” the first voice said.

The second person scoffed. “Well if they do have a human, I want to see it. Maybe their lying and they just found a really mutated s’ylles or something.”

“We can’t just go look. That would look suspicious and we could get in trouble,” a third voice said.

“Ah. Don’t be such a gnash. It’ll be fun to bloodcall for once, especially with this war,” the first voice asked.

Rylie felt a wave of anxiety wash over her. She wasn’t sure what a bloodcall was, but it definitely didn’t sound good.

“The question is, where are they hiding the human?” The second voice asked.

“Probably in a tent. They probably have it tied up or drugged so it doesn’t escape and run away,” the first person replied. “Which will make it easier to get a close look at it.”

Rylie’s heart started to pound. What the hell are they talking about?

Suddenly, the tent flap opened. A woman stuck her head in and looked around. When she spotted Rylie, her eyes widened. Rylie tried to move away, but the woman reached in and grabbed Rylie, pulling her out. “I thought I smelled something weird.”

Rylie struggled in the womans grip. Two other people, both male, rushed over. One of them had crimson hair and deep red eyes, and unnaturally pale skin. When he smiled at the sight of Rylie, his canines looked too long to be normal. The other had fox-like ears poking out of shaggy orange hair, and a fox tail to match. The one with fox features looked shocked.

“So it is true, they do have a human,” the man with red hair said, looking pleased.

Rylie glared at the trio. “Let me go!”

The three people jumped, the woman almost dropping Rylie. “It speaks?”

The other two stared at Rylie, not saying a word. The three of them just stared at each other, until the fox-featured man spoke up. "Let's get the Captain," he said.

The woman nodded in agreement, hoisting Rylie over her shoulder before walking away. Rylie struggled against the woman, but she wasn’t able to break free. The woman had long brown hair that was pulled back into a braid. She didn’t have many odd features, other than her pointed ears.

“Put me down!” Rylie shouted.

The red-haired man grabbed Rylie by the chin. “Be quiet human. We don’t want to wake up the whole camp.”

Rylie glared at the man and continued to struggle as much as she could. Her heart was racing and fear clenched her gut. The three carried her through the camp, being as silent as possible. This camp looked like the old one Rylie had been at. Tents covered in leaves and branches, soldiers sporting all different kinds of weird appearances. The only difference was this camp was on a hillside, not in a valley.

The trio arrived at a tent that was bigger than the others. The red-haired man went inside and Rylie could hear him talking to someone. After a few minutes, he emerged, followed by Cain.

“We found this in one of G’Klair’s tents, Captain Cyril. It’s a human,” the red-haired man explained.

Cain looked at the trio and then at Rylie. His eyes narrowed. "What is G'Klair doing with a human?" He moved, examining Rylie. “How did he get his hands on one? I thought they were just myths.”

Rylie glared at Cain, still struggling.

“I’m not sure, Captain,” the woman answered.

Cain hummed. “Grab me some rope and a sleeping draught. I want to talk to G'Klair about this and make sure it doesn't escape."

The fox-featured man and the red-haired man both nodded and ran off, leaving the woman and Cain with Rylie. The woman was still holding Rylie tightly so she didn't escape. That didn't stop Rylie from struggling, though.

“Can’t you be still for five seconds?” the woman asked.

Rylie ignored her, continuing to struggle as much as she could. The woman sighed and held Rylie tighter, almost squeezing the air out of her lungs. The two men returned, carrying a coil of rope and a bottle of dark purple liquid. Cain nodded.

“Good. Let’s get her tied up and to sleep so she doesn’t escape,” Cain said.

The two nodded, stepping forward and tying Rylie’s hands together.

“Should we bind her legs too?” The fox-featured man asked. “Her leg seems to be… injured.” He gestured to the splint on Rylie’s leg.

Cain frowned. “Yes. Just be gentle with it.”

Rylie was helpless as they bound her legs together as well, ignoring the pain that flared up in her leg. After they were done with that, they approached with the bottle of purple liquid.

“Now be cooperative and drink this,” the red-haired man said, uncapping the bottle.

Rylie turned her head away, refusing to drink it.

Cain sighed. “We’re going to have to force-feed it.”

The two men nodded. The red-haired man pinched Rylie’s nose closed while the fox-featured man pried her mouth open. They poured the liquid into her mouth before forcing her mouth shut, ensuring she couldn’t spit it out. Rylie struggled against them, but eventually, she had no choice but to swallow. It tasted bitter and gross, like cough syrup.

“There. That should start working in a minute. Let’s get her inside my tent for now. And one of you go bring G’Klair here.”

The two men nodded and picked Rylie up, moving her into the tent. The woman ran off, presumably to go get Killian. Rylie was starting to feel drowsy and her eyes heavy. She felt her body relax against her will, her struggles becoming weaker.

The two men set Rylie down on a pile of blankets, and Cain knelt down in front of her. He studied her for a moment.

"You're not what I was expecting," he said. "From the legends, I was expecting a beast, not a frail child. You look like a strong gust of wind would knock you over."

Rylie glared at him. Her eyes felt like they were about to close. She managed to spit out a weak, “Jerk,” before her eyes shut and she succumbed to the sleeping draught.

Chapter 4 | Compromise

Rylie woke up slowly. Her mind felt muggy and her mouth felt like cotton. She couldn’t remember how she had gotten to sleep, until it all came flooding back to her. She tried to move, but her hands and feet were still bound. There was a dull throb in her bad leg. She shook her head. She felt like she was waking up from another ear surgery. Just without the cotton in her ears.

The sound of arguing drew her attention to the entrance of the tent. Cain and Killian were standing there, facing each other. Xevik was also there, standing awkwardly to the side.

“And you thought you could just keep it with you like some pet?” Cain shouted. “And this is the special case you were talking about?”

Killian glared at Cain. “She is not a pet. And yes, this is the special case I was talking about.”

“You should’ve just left her in the forest. You’re endangering all your and my men with this!” Cain shouted.

“I couldn’t just leave her in the forest! She would have died,” Killian shouted back. “She is no danger to anyone. She was at my camp for emits before it was attacked. She didn’t hurt anyone! All she did was sit on a rock and watch them train!”

Cain growled. “That’s what you think. You have no idea what that thing is capable of.”

Killian scoffed and Xevik spoke up nervously. “To be true, sir, she could’ve attacked me in the forest when I found her, but she didn’t.”

Cain turned on his heel to face Xevik. “Be quiet soldier. You’re the one who brought her here in the first place.”

Killian stepped in front of Xevik, one wing spreading to block Cain’s veiw. “Don’t talk to my soldiers like that, Cyril.”

Cain scoffed. “Or what?”

Killian stepped forward, his face inches from Cain’s. “Or I’ll show you who outranks who.”

Cain laughed. “Do it G’Klair. You’re brother is already hated by this whole world. What will it look like if you attack another captain? You’ll be seen as a monster like him.”

Killian growled, his fists clenched. “Don’t you dare speak about my brother like that. He’s not a monster, and you know nothing about him.”

Cain sneered. “Oh, I know enough. He’s a murder. A dark magic user. He started this war. Or should I say… you started this war?”

Killian lunged forward, punching Cain in the face, sending him staggering backward. “Neither of us started this war, you claw-mother! It was that damned dark magic!”

Cain looked up at Killian, holding a hand to his nose, which was starting to bleed. “You’re going to regret that, ash-tounge.”

Killian stepped forward again, raising his fists, but Xevik stepped in front of him. “Captian! Stop! Rylie’s awake.”

Killian and Cain both turned to look at Rylie, who was watching them with wide eyes.

“Scales of the damned. I should’ve given it more of the sleeping draught,” Cain said, stepping forward. Killian pushed him back with enough force to knock him to the ground. “Stay away from her, Cyril. She’s under my protection."

Cain growled, standing and dusting off his clothes. “Fine. Do what you want, G’Klair. Just wait till the council hears about this.” Cain stormed off, his ears flattened against his head and his tail lashing back and forth.

Xevik went up to Rylie’s side. “Are you alright?”

Rylie groaned. “I feel… dizzy. And my leg hurts.”

“I’ll get some water. And Wardenberries.” Xevik got up and rushed off while Killian started untying Rylie’s hands and feet.

“Sorry you had to see that, Rylie,” Killian said, throwing the rope to the side.

Rylie shook her head, still trying to clear the groggy feeling. Killian picked her up, holding her bridal style, and carried her out of the tent. “I’ll take you to my tent. You’ll be able to sleep off the sleeping draught and I’ll get Na’viir to look at your leg.”

“Thank you,” Rylie mumbled, resting her head against Killian’s chest, her eyes feeling heavy again. He carried her to his tent, which was much bigger than any other tent Rylie’d been in. He set her down on a large cot. The cot was really wide, almost squared shaped, with a bunch of blankets scattered across it. It had no pillows, but Rylie didn’t mind.

She laid down on her side, curling up and closing her eyes, hugging a blanket to her chest. Exhaustion pulled her under once more. Killian watched her for a moment before leaving to find Na’viir.

Rylie stirred a while later, feeling a bit better and less groggy, but still very tired. Na’viir was sitting next to her, undoing the splint on her leg. Killian was sitting on the other side of the tent in a large chair, reading a large book.

Na’viir looked up at Rylie. “Ah, you’re finally awake. Let’s see how your leg is doing.” She unwrapped the bandages and started poking and prodding at Rylie’s leg. Rylie flinched, but tried not to make a sound.

“It’s healing nicely. Though, it did get pushed around a bit much,” Na’viir said, pushing on Rylie’s lower and upper calf in opposite directions. A sharp pain shot up Rylie’s leg, causing her to grimace. Na’viir stopped immediately.

“Sorry. You’re leg should be fine. Just try not to move it too much for the next few emits,” Na’viir said, gently starting to re-bandage and split Rylie’s leg.

Killian stood up and walked over to them, setting the book down on a table. “Are you feeling better, Rylie?”

“Yea… Still feel tired…” Rylie sighed.

“Well, get some more rest. You’ll need it,” Killian said. “Me and Cyril are going to be meeting to discuss what to do with you. You can’t stay here. But we’ll find somewhere to send you where you’ll be safe.”

Rylie nodded, her eyes already drifting shut again. Killian sighed and turned to leave the tent, but he paused, glancing back at Rylie with a conflicted expression. Rylie drifted back to sleep, not even registering Killian’s words or expression. Na’viir finished and followed Killian out of the tent, leaving Rylie alone to rest.

Rylie woke up feeling much better, the lingering effects of the sleeping draught finally dissipating. She slowly sat up, looking down at her leg and gently moving her leg to test it. There was a dull ache, but not the sharp, throbbing pain from before. Rylie reached down and felt the splint, tracing the black leather straps. The leather was soft, but also rough like sandpaper.

She looked up, looking around the tent, trying to get her bearings. The tent was big, the ceiling nearly 8 feet above her. She could stand in the middle and barely reach the ceiling. There was a table and chairs off to one side. A few books were stacked on the table, along with some papers. There was also a large, black… box in one corner of the room. Rylie wasn’t entirely sure what it was.

She was alone in the tent, so Killian was probably still meeting with Cain. It made Rylie nervous. She didn’t know what this world she was in was, and now she might be sent away from the only people who had somewhat become her friends. It wasn’t something she could really control though.

Rylie looked around again. Her backpack was gone. Where’s my backpack? Rylie thought, looking around the tent for her backpack. She couldn’t find it. Maybe someone took it while she was asleep?

Rylie groaned, slumping back onto the cot. Now she couldn’t draw or read her books. Rylie looked up again, looking at the scattered papers and books on the table. Maybe Killian has something interesting to read. Or some blank paper and a pencil.

She got up and carefully moved across the room, still trying not to put too much weight on her bad leg. She reached the table and picked up the nearest piece of paper. It was a letter, signed by someone named… Zakar? The letter was hard to read, as the writer had really bad handwriting. Rylie set it down, picking up a different piece of paper. This one was blank.

“Perfect. Now I just need a pen,” Rylie muttered to herself. She looked around the table for a pen, moving the papers around. There was no pen anywhere. There was, however, a quill. Rylie picked it up, looking at it curiously. The feather looked familiar, but she wasn't sure where she'd seen it before.

"What are you doing?" A voice said from the entrance of the tent. Rylie jumped and looked up, seeing Xevik standing there.

"Just looking for a pencil," Rylie responded, putting the quill down.

"You're not supposed to be up," Xevik said, walking over to Rylie and scooping her up.

“Hey! Put me down!” Rylie said. What was up with Xevik and grabbing her?

Xevik chuckled, carrying her back to the cot. He set her down and then grabbed a blanket and threw it over her. "I'm not dealing with the wrath of Na'viir and Captain Killian if you end up hurting your leg again."

Rylie frowned, crossing her arms. "Fine."

"So, why are you trying to write anyway?"

“I was trying to draw. Not write. If I had my backpack with me, I wouldn’t have had to get up and look for paper and a pencil.”

Xevik looked at her with a confused expression.

Rylie sighed. "Nevermind. You wouldn't understand."

Xevik raised an eyebrow. "Understand what? The fact that you keep saying strange things or the fact that you’re more stubborn than an ass?"

Rylie huffed. "Both, I guess."

Xevik chuckled slightly. “I’ll never understand you, human.”

Rylie rolled her eyes, acting offended. Xevik opened his mouth to say something, but stopped when someone walked into the tent. They had a black cloak on, hiding their features.

Xevik stood up, his hand going to his belt. “Who are you? No one is supposed to be in here.”

The person didn't respond, just continued to walk forward. Xevik stepped in front of the person, putting hand on their chest and gripping the hilt of his sword. The person's hand shot out, grabbing Xevik by the throat. Xevik gasped, choking as the person lifted him off the ground.

"Xevik!" Rylie shouted.

Rylie tried to get up and rush over to help him, but a second figure appeared out of nowhere, holding a dagger to her throat.

"Don't move, human. You’re coming with us. Lord Shadow needs you.”

Rylie froze, her heart pounding. Xevik struggled against his attacker, clawing at their hand desperately.

“Let… go…” Xevik hissed. His wings unfurled behind him, flapping suddenly. The person holding Xevik was thrown off by the sudden force, their grip on Xevik slipping. Xevik slipped out of their grasp, unsheathing his sword and lunging forward, driving his sword through the cloaked figures chest. The figure screamed, falling down and clawing at the sword.

"I said no one was allowed in here," Xevik growled, ripping his sword out. The person crumpled to the ground, blood pooling around them.

Xevik turned to the second figure. The figure released Rylie, throwing her onto the cot. They lunged at Xevik with surprising speed but disappeared into a black mist before reaching Xevik. They reappeared behind him, stabbing him through the back with a sword. Xevik let out a strangled cry, staggering forward. Rylie screamed, fear and shock coursing through her.

The figure removed the dagger, kicking Xevik in the back and sending him stumbling into a table. Xevik collapsed to the ground, his body shaking, but not moving.

Rylie tried to move, but her body refused to move. Fear had a vice grip on her heart and body, paralyzing her. The figure approached Rylie, reaching down and picking her up. Rylie wanted to scream, fight, do something, but she couldn't. She couldn't do anything.

Someone suddenly burst into the tent and a flash of pink light followed. A beam of energy struck the figure, causing them to drop Rylie and stumble back. The figure growled and disappeared again, this time not reappearing.

Rylie stared at the place the figure had disappeared, her mind slowly registering the events. It wasn't real. None of that was real.

“Bluekeep!” The person who came into the tent shouted, rushing to Xevik’s side. A few more people came into the tent as well, looking concerned. A few of them rushed over to Xevik, two of them went over to the now dead figure on the ground. Another person came up to Rylie.

"Are you okay? What happened here?"

Rylie was staring ahead, not hearing the person. Everything was fuzzy and distant, like she was dreaming.

"Human! Can you hear me?"

The person grabbed Rylie's shoulder, shaking her gently. Rylie blinked a few times and looked at the person. "What?"

"What happened here?”

“I-I… I don't know. They just appeared out of nowhere."

The person looked her over. "Are you hurt? Did they hurt you?"

Rylie shook her head. "No. I’m fine… but-”

She looked at Xevik. The people who rushed over to him shaking him, shouting for help.

“Bluekeep! Damn the Abyss, hold on!”

Xevik let out a pained groan, blood trickling from his mouth. A small group of people came rushing in, carrying various bags and bottles.

"Make a path!" A man with blonde hair and a tail said, rushing forward. He was holding a small pouch and a glass bottle filled with a green liquid.

"Out of the way! Now!" The man barked, pushing aside the other soldiers.

He knelt next to Xevik, ripping his shirt open and pouring the contents of the bottle onto the wound on his chest. Xevik coughed, a few drops of blood flying into the air.

“Come on, Bluekeep! You can’t die on us!” The man said.

Rylie stared at the scene, horror washing over her. “Is… Is he going to be okay?”

The person who was next to Rylie looked at her with pity. “I… I don’t know… He got hit in a pretty bad spot.”

Rylie felt tears welling up in her eyes, looking at Xevik. He had saved her, but for what?

The tent flap opened again, and Killian strode in, looking grim. Cain followed behind, looking confused. Killian’s eyes darted around the tent, taking in the scene. He pushed past all the soldiers, kneeling down next to Xevik, a concerned expression on his face.

“Xevik. How bad is it?” Killian asked.

“It’s bad, sir,” the blonde man said. “I don’t know if he’s going to make it.”

Killian looked at the wound on Xevik’s chest, his expression hardening. Xevik turned to Killian, and his eyes fluttered, trying to focus.

“C-Captain?” Xevik asked, his voice barely a whisper.

Killian leaned closer to him, his expression softening. “It’s okay, Bluekeep. You’re going to be okay.”

“Captain… I… Is Rylie okay?” Xevik asked, turning his gaze towards Rylie.

Killian looked at Rylie and nodded. “Yes. She’s fine.”

Xevik smiled weakly. “Good… Protect… her…” Xevik’s eyes closed, his body going limp.

Killian expression dropped. He grabbed Xevik’s shoulders, shaking him gently. “Bluekeep? Bluekeep! Wake up!”

The other soldiers stepped back, their faces grim. The blonde man shook his head sadly, confirming Killian’s fears. Rylie’s heart dropped. No. He can’t be dead. He can’t be dead.

Killian’s head drooped sadly, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Get the body ready to send back home.”

The blonde man nodded solemnly. He motioned to the people who came in with him, who came over and helped him lift Xevik’s body and carry it out of the tent. Killian stood and turned to Rylie, his face unreadable. He walked over to her and knelt down, meeting her eyes.

“Are you okay?” Killian asked.

Rylie nodded slowly. “Y-Yeah… I think so…”

“Good,” Killian said. He extended his head, offering a hand to help her up. “Come on. We have to get you out of here. I don’t think you can be here right now.”

Rylie took Killian’s hand, and he helped her up. Killian led her out of the tent, Cain following behind them silently. Killian led her to a different tent, ushering her inside. It looked like another medical tent, filled with beds and medical supplies. Na’viir was in the tent as well, appearing to be organizing a bag. She looked up as Killian and Rylie came in, her expression soft.

“Change of plans, Na’viir,” Killian said. “Rylie is going to have to leave tonight.”

“What?” Cain exclaimed. “You can’t just-”

“It’s not up for debate, Cyril. She’s not safe here. Get your men ready to escort her.”

Cain looked like he wanted to protest, but he just sighed and started walking off. “Fine. They’ll be ready in a few switchs.”

Cain exited the tent, leaving Rylie with Na’viir and Killian. Na’viir continued to pack the bag that she was organizing. Rylie was really confused.

“Wait, what’s going on? What do you mean I have to leave? And where are you sending me?” Rylie asked.

Killian sighed. “I’m sending you to Vinydrixi. You will be safe there.”

“What? W-Why?”

“What happened back there… It proved that you can’t stay here. You’re not safe here. I can’t risk anything happening to you. And the council wants to see you anyways,” Killian explained.

Rylie stared at Killian, shocked. “What? You can’t just send me away! Especially not after… after…” Rylie trailed off, unable to finish her sentence.

Killian’s expression softened. “I know this is a lot to take in, but it’s the best thing for you. Trust me.”

Rylie wanted to argue. She didn’t want to leave. Especially now. Xevik had just… died for her, and Killian was just sending her away? But she didn’t want to argue with him. “Okay… fine… But… I… I want to say goodbye to Xevik.”

Killian hesitated. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Rylie.”

“I don’t care! He got killed trying to protect me!” Rylie exclaimed.

Killian sighed. “Fine. But you’re going to have to be quick.”

Rylie nodded. Na’viir handed her a bag she had been packing. “Here. There’s some wardenberries in here. I also packed some clothes for you.”

Rylie took the bag, appreciating the gesture. “Thank you, Na’viir.”

Na’viir nodded, walking off somewhere into the tent. Killian put a hand on Rylie’s shoulder.

“Come on. We need to say goodbye and then get you going on your way to Vinydrixi.”

Rylie nodded. “Alright. Let’s go.”

Also, a bonus: Va'Leria's Old World Map.

This map will be changing in the future. And I am currently rewriting A God Named Sin so the next published works of A God Named Sin will be MUCH different.

Comments & reviews · 3
creeperfeverdreams wrote a review Review · Feb 28

Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!

Shalt we commence with the macabre S’more?

Top Graham Cracker - Rylie is drugged by demons because they don’t trust her, Xevik protects her and dies for it and now Killian wants to send her away to protect her, but what if Lord Shadow comes for Rylie?

Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - There is the word “asked” when the first voice is talking about a bloodcall and I don’t think you meant to put that in when it’s not a question, but that’s just one little thing.

Chocolate Bar - I like how you described Rylie’s fear when she hears them talking about her like she’s a “thing” and then her anger/frustration when they drug her, because it’s completely against her will! I also like how you described her love for Xevik, it kind of feels like he’s a guardian/older sibling to her. I was hoping we’d get to see more of him so seeing him die was really sad. :< But his death was described greatly with grief!

Closing Graham Cracker - Overall, a very intriguing chapter on this new world and I love the map art! I’m excited to see what happens to Rylie later on and more on why all these demons are scared of her, a human. I’ve enjoyed reading this and…

I wish you an amazing day/night! ^v^

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SanaPathan
Review
SanaPathan wrote a review Review · Feb 14

Heyy! I’m back again because I wanted to check out the continuation and see where things went after the chaos of the last chapter :)

I really like how this chapter slows things down after the attack. It gives both Rylie and the reader time to process what just happened. Her feeling numb and dreamlike makes a lot of sense after everything she’s gone through.

I also liked getting more insight into the world here. The mention of the Dead Forest and dark magic users adds intrigue and makes the conflict feel much bigger than just Rylie being dropped into a strange place. It hints at a larger war and raises the stakes in a subtle way.

And once again, I really enjoyed the interactions between Rylie and Xevik. Their dynamic continues to be fun and engaging.

“What the hell was that for? I can still move on my own,” Rylie asked, turning to face Xevik. Xevik smirked. His eyes were twinkling with a hint of mischief.

"Sorry, I just wanted to mess with you," Xevik responded.

"That wasn't funny,” Rylie said, crossing her arms.

Xevik rolled his eyes. “Just get some sleep. I think your attitude is from being tired.”

I still LOVE their banter!

Now moving on to a few improvements I think can be made.

Rylie nodded and looked away, staring into the trees as they passed. She still couldn’t shake the image of the battle from her head.

The group continued to travel for several days, eventually arriving at another military encampment.

The transition here felt really sudden to me. Maybe you can add a few lines that could help it flow better? Or you can do a scene break by adding asterisks at the end of "Rylie nodded and looked away, staring into the trees as they passed. She still couldn’t shake the image of the battle from her head.".

I also think it could be interesting to see a little more of Rylie's internal reaction in instances where she learns something new about the world. Such as when she learns about the dark forest.

"Maybe their lying and they just found a really mutated s’ylles or something.”

It should be "they're lying"

Rylie struggled in the womans grip.

here it should be "women's grip".

“Can’t you be still for five seconds?” the woman asked.

You might consider adding how here tone was (I am assuming annoyed.) just to strengthen the scene.

And I have a small suggestion if you're willing to consider. We can see Rylie struggling physically, adding a little more of her internal thoughts during the capture and drugging could make it even more emotional and immersive.

Overall, this chapter was amazing! The whole scene where she gets discovered was intense! The way they talked about her like she wasn’t even a person made it clear how differently humans are viewed in this world.

I’ve only read the continuation of Chapter 2 so far, which is why this review focuses just on this section. But as soon as I get the time, I'll read the next chapter and hopefully leave another review!

-Sana :smt049

Thank you! I'm currently reworking the whole book and I'll take all these into consideration as I do! <3



Perhaps one did not want to be loved so much as to be understood.
— George Orwell, 1984