z

Young Writers Society


16+ Language

Iceflame// Chapter 9: What's For Lunch?

by SalisRuinen


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.

Seiren was somewhat relieved when his homeroom teacher, Line-sensei, made him shut up with an attack from his elastic whip deva.

That was the way the pervert’s morning would usually start when he was in Sunbird so experiencing something like this again after such a wild weekend was a sign things were going back to normal.

The classes for the rest of the day until the lunch break were further proof that things in the high school hadn’t changed. The only difference was that golden-haired teenager, his rival and his newest friend drew a lot of attention when going down the corridors together. And the three were always together because the rival duo had to help Yuki adapt to the academic environment.

Although very shy at first and probably terrified or dumbfounded by everyone’s behavior, the baby doll become more relaxed, talkative and active as time passed, looking rather eager as she entered the canteen side by side with her classmates.

Everyone had introduced themselves to her but Seiren knew the first real chance Iceflame was going to have to get to know any of her classmates properly was going to be during the lunch break. And that meant her terror and confusion were only going to increase.

After getting her portion from the six-armed cook, the white-haired beauty went and sat on the table where the six boys who were a part of her class were sitting.

Why had she not joined the other girls from the class on the two nearby tables?

In order to stay close to Hikaru and Seiren, whom she knew best of all the people around her.

The pervert could not be happier about her choice although trouble appeared on the horizon as a bottle containing some kind of alcohol was placed next to the tray from which Yuki was eating. She lifted her confused gaze from the tray to see who was offering her alcohol in school during lunch.

The one responsible was a boy who had some muscle and a tummy simultaneously, had pale pink skin color, medium-length light brown hair brushed back into place and pale-green eyes, currently looking at the baby doll with a broad smile.

(Vega) ‘-What’s up, Yuki? Care for a drink?’

(Yuki) ‘-No, thanks. Vega, was it?’

(Vega) ‘-That’s me! Vega Warren! Thanks for sitting with the boy group today! I wanted to give you this bottle as a token of membership! It’s fine if you don’t want to drink it now. Feel free to enjoy its contents whenever you like!’

(Yuki) ‘-I appreciate that but I’m afraid I’ll have to refuse as I’m underage. And by the way, aren’t you as well? How are you even allowed to bring alcohol inside the school and drink it?’

(Hikaru) ‘-Many have tried taking his bottles away from him but none have succeeded so far. And seeing that he’s a lost cause, I guess the teachers have given up on trying to stop him.’

Vega was pushed aside by a tall skinny boy with slightly curly ash-gray hair shaped into a mullet, grayish eyes and pale ivory skin, who wore glasses, turning out he had two trays with food in front of him, sliding one of them towards his new classmate.

(King) ‘-Don’t listen to that drunkard, Yuki. Try this instead. It will help you build a lot of muscle mass and despite what everyone might tell you, it’s actually tasty!’

He started stuffing his face with the contents of the tray left in front of him right after he offered the other tray to the baby doll who tried to hide her disgust but failed.

(Yuki) ‘-Thanks, King, but I think you’re hungrier than me, so enjoy the second tray, too. I’m fine with what I have in mine.’

(King) ‘-Your loss. By the way, I forgot to ask. Do you work out? If you do and need any advice, you can always come to me.’

(Yuki) ‘-I don’t as of yet but I may start eventually. I’ll call on you, then.’

Seiren then turned his eyes to the boy with the darkest skin and most insignificant muscle mass among the six who also had brown eyes and jet-black hair, the right half of which was combed while the left was kind of spiky and with a lot more volume, eating his lunch in silence.

(Seiren) ‘-What about you, techno-genius? You not gonna try and entice Yuki to join your club as Line-sensei suggested earlier?’

Exo, who seemed to be thinking about something else, was startled when his classmate addressed him, Yuki now turning to him with a cute smile which made the techno-genius immediately look away and blush.

(Yuki) ‘-Techno-genius, Exo? So you’re in the science club?’

(Hikaru) ‘-He’s also the second smartest person in our school, so you’d love to have him on your team, Yu.’

Exo scratched his head with a shy smile after Hikaru’s words, still looking aside.

(Exo) ‘-I wouldn’t call myself ‘the second smartest person in Sunbird’, but I know more about tech and gadgets than the others. If you need any help with such things, Yuki, feel free to ask. And you’re more than welcome to join our club if you’re interested. I don’t plan on enticing her to do anything, however, Seiren. She should make her own choice.’

Seiren laughed mockingly.

(Seiren) ‘-Considering you didn’t look at her once while saying all that stuff, Exo, I find it unlikely she’ll join your club. Right now she probably thinks you’re just some weirdo and a nerd.’

(Yuki) ‘-Not at all. I think you should actually aspire to be more like him, Seiren. Focus on studying instead of just chasing around girls. And speaking of studying, if Exo’s the second smartest person around here, who holds the top position?’

A silhouette came closer to Iceflame then, revealing itself as a boy that looked at least two years younger than the others and was therefore the shortest, had blue eyes, very spiky raspberry-red hair, some of which was tied in a short pony tail, and a light honey skin tone.

(Tokura) ‘-Hikaru’s at the top. And it’s more than just chasing around girls, Yuki, dear. I can explain it to you but if you want all the details, I suggest joining the swimming club. There you’ll be able to constantly enjoy mine and Seiren’s company and I can guarantee you’ll want for nothing with refined gentlemen such as ourselves at your side.’

Seiren was annoyed by his fellow colleague’s proposal to Yuki, Hikaru, Vega and King laughing out loud when they heard what he said, Exo just being comically puzzled.

(Seiren) ‘-I wanted to be the one to ask her to join our club, Tora*!’

(Tokura) ‘-Early bird gets the worm, my boy. (he then turned to the laughing trio with an extremely serious expression) And what are you three laughing about?’

(Vega) ‘-Just hearing you call yourself and Seiren ‘gentlemen’, Tora … I never knew you were so good at telling jokes.’

(King) ‘-And that pitch you made about the swimming club. You just want to peep on her as you’re doing with all the other girls in the club, aren’t you?’

As the tension between Tokura and the laughing three increased, Yuki turned her attention to Seiren, deciding to ignore the other boys’ argument, Exo having decided to do the same thing.

(Yuki) ‘-Hikaru’s the smartest person in the school, then?’

(Seiren) ‘-Surprising, isn’t it? Not everyone notices that because of his frequent fits of rage.’

(Yuki) ‘-And Tokura? Is he a pervert like you?’

(Seiren) ‘-I prefer the term ‘connoisseur of the female beauty’, but he’s also a bit different than me. He applies a chivalrous knight approach when wooing a girl because he believes that works best.’

(Yuki) ‘-And you calling him ‘Tora’? Is it just short for ‘Tokura’?’

(Seiren) ‘-It also has something to do with the fact he likes tigers.’

Tokura got up and stepped closer to Hikaru, Vega and King.

(Tokura) ‘-I like sweet kittens best. But do you know what I don’t like? (a sphere of light blue energy formed around him and turned invisible almost immediately) Stupid bastards who disrespect my code of chivalry!!!’

The whole table the group was sitting around was pushed away when coming in contact with the now invisible sphere, the air around Tokura having changed with a sense of unhinged wrath being mixed in it.

The food that was on the table was thrown aside along with it, reaching other tables while the table itself broke another table in half, ruining the lunch of another group of students as well, Hikaru and King raging about this before even Seiren could.

(Hikaru) ‘-At least activate your shield after we’re done eating, Tora!!’

(King) ‘-Your desecration of the food must be punished at once!!!’

Summerbolt enveloped himself in lightning bolts, teleporting right in front of Tokura but when he tried to hit his classmate’s invisible shield, he was pushed back with great force, landing on another table. Meanwhile King ‘s appearance had changed, now being twice as big, with a significantly increased muscle mass, almost no clothes, a longer and spikier hair with a deep orange color and eyes with a bright green color.

His body exploded in scarlet energy as he went for Tokura with extraordinarily fast speed, the result of his clash with the pseudoknight’s shield being the same as with Hikaru, the mad genius currently getting beat up by the students who had been eating on the table where he had landed.

King was crushed in another table, by that time a number of fights having broken out in the canteen, Vega opening one of his bottles and taking a swig from it. He then laughed his heart out while observing what was happening around him, Seiren joining him in that laugh, Exo crawling away from all the chaos, screaming like a girl.

Yuki was still processing the whole situation she had found herself in but wasn’t given much longer to do that as a deviant from another class crushed a water wave in her and pushed her aside with an irritated expression.

(Random student) ‘-This is all you bastards’ fault! You’ve ruined lunch for everyone once a …’

He couldn’t finish his sentence as Seiren blasted him with a huge amount of bright red fireworks, going to Yuki who was already back on her feet, Exo being pulled from under the table where he had found refuge by the long scaly tail one of the students involved in the fights had grown.

(Exo) ‘-Somebody save me!!!’

(Seiren) ‘-You OK, Yu?’

(Yuki) ‘-If you mean physically, yeah. I’m not so sure what my mental health state will be if I stick around here much longer, though.’ (Seiren pulled Yuki to him and made her duck to dodge the table King had thrown at Tokura’s shield, the giant having successfully escaped the grasp of the students from the table he had fallen on to go after his original target)

(Seiren) ‘-Focus on surviving till the end of the lunch break for now!!’

(King) ‘-I’m not done with you, damn brat!’

Tokura enveloped himself and the sphere around him, which shortly became visible, in azure energy, teleporting himself in front of King before he could launch a counterattack, crushing him in the floor with his shield and a mixture of anger and embarrassment on his face.

(Tokura) ‘-Stop calling me brat!!! I’m the same age as you, but my body is yet to have its growth spurt!! You won’t be getting any more growth spurts, however, because I’m going to end your life right now!’ (Hikaru landed atop the shield around Tokura with a lightning-enveloped kick, blowing out some smoke from his mouth)

(Hikaru) ‘-I’ll be ending your life first, actually!!!’

Summerbolt was thrown aside once again, landing between Seiren and Yuki who were fighting back to back, the pervert looking at Vega, who was enjoying himself until the cook pushed him down with one of his arms, having joined the mass fight along with some of the teachers and other members of staff.

(The cook) ‘-Stop wrecking my canteen!!!’

The drunkard’s bottle fell on the floor and shattered into many pieces, his rage being unleashed then by joining the fight as his body was enveloped in pale green energy. Witnessing the release of that energy led to a moment of realization for Seiren that stuck with him even as other opponents attacked him from the side.

He thought the energy pattern of the attacks launched by the soldiers who tried to kidnap Yuki a couple of days ago looked familiar. It was the same as Vega Warren’s specific energy deva.

There wasn’t any time to dwell on that as more enemies were targeting him, Hikaru and Yuki, Tokura’s fellow colleague still managing to take a quick look at the white-haired beauty.

She was smiling. She looked like she genuinely enjoyed the chaotic situation she had been pulled in. Seiren now reproached himself for worrying how she was going to handle herself after coming to Sunbird.

This girl was going to be fine. More than fine, actually. She was going to be a damn star.

As he sent a roar of his fireworks to the net of intertwined plant roots an opponent had prepared to catch him, a student who had transformed herself in a rocket of purple energy ripped through the ice wall erected by the amnesiac. A heavy punch greeted that student after she destroyed the wall, turning her back to her normal form while throwing her aside.

Yuki then kicked away a lava javelin aimed at Hikaru with a leg armored in many layers of ice, surprising both him and his rival while attacking another schoolmate, the challenging smile not leaving her face for a second.

(Yuki) ‘-Come on! Is that all you’ve got?! (she got her hands on a tray and covered it with ice to use as a shield against the barrage of organic spikes shot from the shoulders of one of the students) It’ll take a lot more to bring our class down! (after the tray had served its purpose the baby doll got ready to throw it aside but she hit something instead) Oh, sorry about that! I was aiming for …’

Several thin green laser beams were shot at her from behind before she could say any more, managing to cut the partial ice armor she had covered herself with and leave a few scratches on her skin. Yuki turned around and saw the beams were created by the girl behind her, whose tray had been pushed to the floor when she had tried to throw away her frozen tray-shield.

Unlike Hikaru’s idiotic anger or Tokura’s anger mixed with embarrassment, though, the outrage on this one’s face was mixed with a lethal intent of unimaginable proportions.

(Ulura) ‘-You just ruined my lunch. I guess I’ll now have to feast on your pain to sate my hunger.’


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Tue May 24, 2022 1:47 pm
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IcyFlame wrote a review...



Hello hello! This is an excellent chapter title by the way, it really captured the tone of the novel and it made me laugh.

Why had she not joined the other girls from the class on the two nearby tables?

In order to stay close to Hikaru and Seiren, whom she knew best of all the people around her.

This part seems redundant as we already know why she sat with the boys. It is interesting though that Seiren and Hikaru seem to be able to put aside their differences because they both want to help her navigate the day. It's very sweet.

The boys who she sits with all seem quite different so I'm surprised they're sat together, but I like how each of them has a distinct personality. It might be a little over the top (i.e. this one is the jock, this is the geek) as we know everyone is multi-dimensional so perhaps you could tone that down in a future edit. Would you really meet someone and ask them if they work out immediately, even if you were super into the gym?

I really like the character of Exo though, I hope we see more of him in the future. And I thought it was nice and subtle where he makes the comment about Hikaru being the most intelligent as she had no idea.

There were a lot of characters here though, so it felt a little overwhelming, especially when they were all fighting with each other (so many fights, poor teachers). Perhaps you could focus on a couple in the chapter, so it doesn't feel quite so much? At the moment I'm not sure which ones I should be paying attention too as they all seem to feature to the same degree. I think you can introduce this many, just maybe give some of them fewer lines.

Hope this helped!

Icy




SalisRuinen says...


Appreciate the review!!
The characters I introduce here are supposed to sound over-the-top and a bit unnatural to give a not entirely adequate first impression of who they are. Plus I think it will be easier to associate them with a particular thing (Vega %u2013 drinking alcohol, King %u2013 working out, etc.) to differentiate between them. Not to worry, though, there's plenty more behind each of the four boys than meets the eye. In time you'll learn just how much.
In terms of the number of characters introduced, this chapter is an exception as each of the members of the quartet the reader meets here have equally important roles in the story and thus I wanted to introduce them at the same time. It won't happen again or if it does, it won't be anytime soon, I promise.



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Wed Mar 16, 2022 4:49 pm
ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...



Hey! Forever here with a review!!

Well, this was a LOT. Plot wise, pretty much nothing happened but it still seemed a lot to me. Anyway, one thing which I would actually like to suggest is excluding thw inclusion of so many characters. Introducing so many characters in one chapter is not really a good step because the readers can have 1000 problems in remembering their names and theie characteristics too.

Okay so first and foremost I would like to deal with the characters. Well, I was very much expecting Hikaru to be the most genius person and seems like I was quite right. Hm... The Summerbolts are undoubtedly the craziest family you would ever see. And now comes this Exo. He is indeed a bit shy about his abilities and I kind of like how he doesn't brag about his abilities. Also, he doesn't likw using his powers to some extent. I don't know how much powers though.

Hm... Now the plot and the world-building. The chapter really made me wonder about the very normal condition of the school. At least to me, it seemed like this generally remains the normal condition in the school and yet it's so overwhelming that I couldn't process it properly. You have actually got make it seem a bit normal. Like if you see their rage and everything, this cannot be there if it has been like this for quite a period of time. I mean should they not get a bit tired?

I like the existence of those clubs. They make me feel that that is a school and that different people are interested in different topics. I like how the lunch break made me feel that I am at School. It would be good if you could provide a summary about the classes and what they were about. I felt that time gap a bit weird.

Overall, it did give the vibe of school but just a bit overwhelming. Anyway, seems like we have a lot more than this in the upcoming chapters.

Keep Writing!!

~Forever




SalisRuinen says...


Thanks for the review!
Alongside the main trio (Yuki, Hikaru and Seiren) Vega, King, Exo and Tokura will be the other main characters and I wanted them to enter the story at the same time because of the importance they share. There shouldn'be such a number of characters appearing within one chapter again or at least not with that much of a focus on each of them. It's just that this group is special. Also, introducing those four and showing the environment in the canteen is meant to have an overwhelming feel about it because it shows that deviants just tend to be more extreme, especially in their high-school years. And as shown here, that can lead to fun and not-so-fun moments.
About the students not getting that tired, the reason for that is they have a higher deva output within the school grounds %u2013 something I will address in the following chapters. I apologize if this was confusing. The students' increased deva output is also another reason why they're going so wild.
I wasn't planning on giving that much more detail about the school in terms of clubs, classes, etc., because it won't be in focus for long. It's simply the stage where the next big conflict in the story will begin and where some important characters will be introduced. I gave the examples of the tech and the swimming club mainly to prodive more information about the characters' interests and abilities. Like how Exo is interested in technology/machines and how although Seiren and Tokura are perverts, they're good swimmers as well.
I may give additional information about Sunbird in some of the coming chapters to better set up the environment there, but not too much, because I don't want to shift the focus of the story to such an extent.




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