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Young Writers Society


16+ Language

Iceflame// Chapter 25: Infinite Blue

by SalisRuinen


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.

Blue. All he saw was a pale shade of blue.

Tokura didn’t mind blue. Far from it, actually – that was his favorite color. But this blue – the one of Lara Jade’s steam – had consumed all of his surroundings. So much so that he could hardly see the trees or anything else.

What’s worse, the heat from all that steam felt very unpleasant – like a much more extreme and less fun version of a sauna. One only needed to sit and sweat it out naked in a sauna and could get out whenever they wanted. The Earthling however needed to move through the apparently inescapable veil of steam with his clothes on and his mind focused, which was quite a challenge. Another blue thing made the situation worse – the almost constant barrage of pairs of orbs of turquoise flames that formed rings of the same element created by Mia and Kia Nelaz. Every time one of those rings was dodged, it set fire to whatever plantlife of the surrounding environment it came into contact with, the heat from the fires only making the experience more unbearable fo the trio’s target.

Mr. Braveheart was well aware of the reason the Hera Trio had adopted such an approach in fighting him. All three girls knew they couldn’t face him head-on because he would crush them. The only chance they had was to stall their opponent and make him waste more energy by using long-range attacks from a hidden location.

Tokura possessed a Flexoid deva aside from his invisible shield and the Flexoid was the energy compound that allowed the user to teleport with the highest speed, highest number of objects teleported at once and longest range. One could even teleport things moving at high speeds with the azure-colored energy, so long as they could focus on a target of that type. Hence, the Flexoid was very useful when fighting someone face-to-face, but not nearly as much in situations like the one the pseudoknight had currently found himself in.

He kept teleporting the cyan twins’ fire rings away from him, but with zero visibility and no sensory capabilities, he couldn’t make out where they were as the fire orbs were sent from different directions. At the same time the spreading of Lara’s deva all around allowed her to locate anything within the area it covered, pointing out the enemy’s location to Mia and Kia. Then they probably teleported each of their attacks from a different side of Earthling Class #1’s ‘small’ battering ram so as to make pinpointing their position an impossible task.

The teenager with raspberry-colored hair could end all this, but he would have to further drain his devas for that purpose and he needed to save as much of his strength as possible for helping his comrades in the main battle that lay ahead. If things kept going as they did, however, he wasn’t going to make it in time for the main event of this Class Battle. Therefore he had to choose between two unfavorable options: wait till the Hera Trio members tired enough to let him through, so he could continue with plenty of strength left, or force his way beyond those three right now to rendezvous with Earthling Class #1 in a more worn-out state.

The pseudoknight stopped his advance through the blanket of steam a second after the contemplation process ended, unleashing a burst of the azure energy compound and forming the shield around him again. The shield completely blocked out the steam and without it bothering him, he could finally concentrate. His Flexoid was spread over a very wide area and with very high density as well, the young man closing his eyes as his energy started eating away at the steam and thinking:

‘-This Flexoid wave will allow me to discover their location and they know that. But they also know that if they try to stay clear of its range, the distance between us will grow enough for me to continue forward without them being able to catch up fast enough. That means they’ll have to let me find them whether they like it or not!! And it’s game over then!!!’

Tokura could still hear the muffled sound of fire rings being smashed in his shield only to be deflected with equal force after he closed his eyes, but without actually having to evade them, the sound provided minimal distraction. That distraction was not enough to impede his focus on the connection with his energy compound.

Through that connection he saw a shape amid the darkness. A silhouette of blue energy, not more than 15 meters away. Then another shape emerged next to it. And then one more.

The ‘small’ battering ram was certain he had found his targets and half his victory was assured by just that, but then more shapes that were identical to the three he had already located started appearing. Many more. Tens. Hundreds. And they weren’t just in front of him, but spread in all directions.

‘-Did you think it was going to be that easy, Braveheart?’ – Lara’s voice rang loud and clear.

One of them finally spoke. Because they knew there was no need to hide anymore. Even if he knew where they are, that wouldn’t make a difference now. He’d been had.

Trying to sense them was also pointless, so the pseudoknight decided to return to the more conventional method for locating objects – using his eyes. The sight he was met with when he opened them came as no surprise.

Tens of smirking Laras, Mias and Kias were closing in on him amid the dissolving steam in a number of circles with a continuously shrinking diameter. Yet they weren’t just walking – they were laughing. Choirs upon choirs of manic laughter now filled the air to a level that almost made Tokura’s ears bleed.

Despite blinking from irritation, he still managed to keep his eyes open long enough between the moments when he closed them to make out the number of enemy clones – about a hundred for each of them. The closest group of those clones stopped when they stood about five meters from him in each direction but kept guffawing.

(Tokura) ‘-Is all that laughing meant as a psychological attack or are you just insane?’

The laughing in choirs stopped now, but the talking in choirs started. Not much of an improvement, in the young man’s opinion.

(The Mias) ‘-We’re just expressing our joy of being so close to you.’

(The Kias) ‘-And meanwhile you seem to be in a hurry to leave despite the great company you have here. Why not stay with us a bit longer, sweetie?’

Upon closer inspection, the blue bands of the Nelaz duo’s uniforms perfectly matched with their eye and hair color, making them all the more gorgeous in defiance of the annoying sarcastic tone they had just used. Plus Tokura had a thing for lolis because they had a more child-like appearance, much like himself.

Lara was a catch in her own right, of course, having a more mature beauty about her. And a much more mature chest.

Under different circumstances, being surrounded by so many beautiful women would’ve been the greatest blessing the pseudoknight could think of. But in the current situation he was more angry than he was stunned by his opponents’ charms. Angry at himself.

(Tokura) ‘-Nice offer, but I think I’ll pass.’

(The Laras) ‘-That was a rhetorical question. You don’t have any choice but to stay with us now.’

The teenager with raspberry-colored hair hated admitting his adversary was right, but no matter how much he wanted to, he couldn’t deny the truth in the words of the hundred Laras.

His original conjecture that Mia and Kia were teleporting their attacks all around him was wrong. Maybe that’s how it had started, but all the while he was trying to escape the veil of steam he had been trapped in, his foes had been creating clones of themselves and had been spreading them around. That would explain why the twins didn’t use more complex attacks, but stuck to only orbs of fire – half of their attention was focused on making copies of themselves.

The whole reason for forming the veil was to give the Hera Trio time to prepare something else to delay Tokura with after he broke through that veil. And it had all worked out perfectly for them: their target was now surrounded on all sides with no way of telling who the originals are.

If only the Earthling had not been so indecisive about releasing more power up until now, all of this could’ve been avoided. He could’ve taken out his opponents before they could implement their latest plan and would’ve already rejoined his class by the present moment.

But he hadn’t done that. Why? Was it to make sure he would have enough power to be of use to his comrades when he reached them? Or was it in order to have enough power to not be defeated by anyone because of his pride?

Maybe not having the right motivation from the start was what had led to this turn of events, but wasting more time on regrets was only going to make things worse. Disposing of the three Martians was what he needed to do. Looking at their clones gave him an idea how to do that, but the Hera Trio needed to be distracted for this to work. The best way to distract them right now was to keep them talking.

(Tokura) ‘-Or maybe you’re talking at the same time because you’re afraid if just one of you talks, the originals will somehow give themselves away?’

(The Mias) ‘-We’re all perfect copies, dumbass. You can’t tell us apart like that.’

(Tokura) ‘-Why are you still talking like that, then? I don’t imagine you often create so many clones to talk in choirs for no reason.’

(The Kias) ‘-We have the most melodic voices in all of Sunbird, so we like listening to ourselves talk. The more of us there are talking, the better.’

(Tokura) ‘-Self-obsessed much?’

(The Laras) ‘-We choose only the best. Since we’re the best, of course we’d obsess over ourselves rather than anyone else.’

(Tokura) ‘-Listening all of you talk at the same time is getting kind of irritating at this point, though.’

(The Mias) ‘-Why don’t you try to get rid of us, then?’

All the Flexoid that was spread around the area split into parts that quickly took on a specific shape then, becoming clones of Tokura as the original revealed his confident smirk.

(Tokura) ‘-I intend to.’

The members of the Hera Trio were shocked as Mr. Braveheart’s clones swarmed on theirs, retaliating soon enough by sending orbs of blue flames and focused streams of steam at their opponents, which led to an all-out melee.

While all the Mias and Kias still used only orbs and rings of their flames, some of the Laras shaped their steam into drill-like structures, met with the Flexoid projectiles created by the forces opposing them. The more the enemies fought, the more blue steam and energy clashed in the air while the forest was further engulfed in blue flames. Eventually the battlefield’s color scheme changed so much that it appeared as if the two small armies were fighting in a sea of endless blue, the groups of clones crushing in each other much like waves.

The nature of the battle also changed, both sides now transforming their very bodies into the attacks they had been using up to this point to clash with the other. So the Mias and Kias became giant flaming orbs, the Laras – big drills or streams of steam and the Tokuras – energy projectiles, mass barrages being unleashed by each group.

That’s when the moment the Earthling was waiting for came.

He had never tried creating so many clones, but thought that it should be possible to match the enemy’s numbers when doing this with a 100% output. If he succeeded, he could turn the three’s tactic against them, waiting for the battle to become chaotic enough that they wouldn’t notice the original had moved on ahead. The ‘small’ battering ram would still need to deal with them later, which wasn’t the best option, but helping his classmates took precedence.

A pine tree signaling the transformation of the deciduous vegetation into that of a coniferous type came within his sight just beyond the borders of the blue-colored area and he chose it as a teleportation destination.

When he was about to teleport, Tokura felt something hot drawing close to his back, luckily putting up his shield by instinct fast enough to deflect what upon turning around was revealed as a gigantic ring of turquoise flames and pale blue steam. Something probably created by the original Hera Trio, who had caught on his plan before he could fully execute it.

(Kia) ‘-You won’t be getting away from us that easy!!’

(Tokura) ‘-Just how persistent are you?!’

(Mia) ‘-We came here with a mission and we will carry it out!!’

(Lara) ‘-At all costs!!!’

The ring kept on spinning, suddenly blowing up in a two-element storm that swept the whole battlefield, spreading a lot of steam and fire all around, impairing Mr. Braveheart’s vision once again and forcing him to keep his shield up.

(Tokura) ‘-Damn it!! Damn all three of you!!!’

Although they were his foes, Tokura had to give Lara, Mia and Kia credit for being very loyal. Ulura wouldn’t have fought so valiantly to buy them time if she was participating in the Class Battle and their places were exchanged. She treated her classmates as nothing more than pawns. And Nepalo, Hock and Gorudora of the Ares Trio were no different. Yet the people from their class put their faith in them.

What about Mr. Braveheart’s classmates, though? They put their faith in him and he had betrayed that faith because of his pride and selfishness.

The Hera Trio weren’t going to let up. The only way now was to stop them for good. And as the Earthlings’ ‘small’ battering ram, he couldn’t afford to worry about how much energy that would cost him anymore. He couldn’t afford to worry about anything but his friends from here on.

The new veil of steam prevented the shielded warrior from seeing where the Martian ladies’ clones were, but he could still feel the presence of his clones, teleporting in front of one of them. Right then a giant turquoise fireball was smashed in his shield, originally aiming for his Flexoid clone. In the moment of contact Tokura ran his azure energy compound over the surface of his shield, a part of it being transferred to the fireball as it was deflected.

The fireball’s nature was slightly changed with that, ensuring one of the real Nelaz twins would no longer be able to negate it so easily. Thus nothing managed to stop it from hitting one of Lara’s clones transformed into a steam drill nearby. As the two attacks cancelled each other out, the pseudoknight teleported next to another of his copies, deflecting an attack meant for it and running his Flexoid over it to ensure another enemy clone will be taken out by that attack.

The Hera Trio’s clones began regrouping after that, but it was too late. Their attacks were being consecutively deflected back at them in a slightly altered state with high speed, ensuring no one would escape the onslaught.

Before long the relentlessness of the Earthling who had finally shown his true power led to the demise of the originals, proof of which was that all their remaining clones suddenly crumbled into tiny drops of blue flames and blue vapor.

The victor took a deep breath and started absorbing his Flexoid copies back in himself with a wave of his hand, walking through the receding steam. He stopped when he found the real three, each of them being bloodied, bruised and burned, breathing heavily and looking at each other. When their opponent’s shadow loomed over them, their attention was turned to him, but although they had lost, smiles full of triumph formed on their faces.

(Lara) ‘-We got you, Braveheart. We may not have kept you here for as long as we wanted, but you sure used up a lot of energy while dealing with us, right?’

(Mia) ‘-That means your class is doomed all the same at this point.’

Tokura narrowed his eyes, turning his back on the defeated warriors.

(Tokura) ‘-You did good. You fulfilled your duty brilliantly, so take pride in that now and rest.’

(Kia) ‘-Ha! What’s with the praise, Earthling? Shouldn’t you hurry up to see if there’s anything left of your friends?’

(Tokura) ‘-I just wanted to commend you before moving on. (he turned to them only partially to show a face burning with determination) If it wasn’t for what you did here, I wouldn’t have remembered my duty: to always risk it all without a second thought to save my friends. So the only thing you ensured with your actions was your class’ demise at my hands!’

He vanished with a burst of Flexoid, reaching the pine tree he was originally planning to teleport to within a second and moving forward.

The forest was on fire. The ground was shaking. Huge amounts of crimson energy ripped the skies just ahead. Yet none of that fazed Tokura. Saving the Earthlings was the one thing that really mattered and their ‘small’ battering ram would not fail them again.


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Wed Dec 07, 2022 3:05 pm
IcyFlame wrote a review...



Ok it's been a while, and I've forgotten some of what I've read so far but I've gone back and reread the previous 2 chapters quickly so hopefully that brings most of it back. I might forget some of the characters (I know there are a lot) so apologies in advance for that!

I am starting to feel like the fight is coming to a close now. We've had quite a lot of chapters on it and whilst the switch up in POV between each chapter keeps it fresh, I feel a little like we're kind of stalled in terms of story progression whilst this goes on and I'm itching to see the fall out and where we go from here. It felt like such a big build up to this fight and you've definitely done it justice by having all the fight sequences written in such detail. I just have no idea where we're going with the next arc of this story. We have a lot to deal with, and I'm interested to see how you pull it all together.

I'm also seeing some real character development from Tokura. I feel like at the beginning of the story he was very much a boy, and he's maturing throughout the events that take place. I like seeing the growth that's happening, and it feels like he's ready to take on more.

I also liked the dramatic ending here - it makes me think we're nearing the end of the fight and that Tokura will be on the winning side. As I said above, I don't really know what that means for the plot, and what the fallout will be. The fight overall seems like it's quite a normal thing in this world (so presumably clearing up after it won't be too difficult) but this particular one is clearly above and beyond a normal class battle... I guess I better read on to find out!

Sorry this took me so long to get to, I'll try to catch up properly now.

Icy




SalisRuinen says...


Thank you for the review!
It's OK if you forget some of the characters or what's been happening with the plot. You can always come back and read any of the ones I've already uploaded to catch up and follow the story at your own pace, of course.
Tokura's fight is just one small part of the entire Class Battle arc and one that takes place during its first half, from here the events moving toward the arc's climax, which will involve Tokura again. So there's a lot more stuff that needs to happen before I give hints about what the next arc will be about, but I hope you'll be interested enough to keep on following the story as it progresses!
As for the damage done, the Nebula park is meant to be used only for battles like this, so no one cleans up after. The debris just keep on piling layer upon layer.



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Sat Sep 24, 2022 7:47 pm
Plume wrote a review...



Hey there! Plume here, with a review, brought to you by Review Day!!

I've not read any earlier chapters of this, but this one seemed so interesting that I might have to go back and read some of them! It's not really my genre of choice, but it was definitely intriguing to me. What with all the bright colors and banter, this almost felt like an anime to me—I don't watch much of it, but from what I do know, it felt like it.

From what I gathered, Tokura seems to be protecting his peers (other Earthlings?) from aliens. He also seems quite powerful for a human, unless he isn't one. Given the whole alien aspect though, this felt slightly more like sci-fi than fantasy. I'm also very intrigued by this Flexoid stuff—it seems to be some sort of magic/high tech energy material.

One thing I enjoyed was your pacing. I think that the fight scene was very well choreographed, if that makes sense. I liked the way you wrote it, where you kind of stated Tokura's internal thoughts before then executing them in action. It was nice to get his plans and then see them play out. I also think that the Hera Trio was a nice group of antagonists to have Tokura battle; I liked their back and forth, and the part where there were countless clones of them was also quite clever. The way you described the steam and fireballs was also very appealing, imagery-wise.

Specifics

The teenager with raspberry-colored hair could end all this, but he would have to further drain his devas for that purpose and he needed to save as much of his strength as possible for helping his comrades in the main battle that lay ahead.


I wasn't exactly sure who the "teenager with raspberry-colored hair" was referring to—if that's a moniker for someone in the story that readers don't know the name of, I think it's acceptable, but if you're using it to refer to Tokura, I think you should just say his name. It's infinitely easier and shorter, and also flows better in my opinion. We don't need to know the color of Tokura's hair in that moment. It clogs up the piece. I know I mentioned this in another review I left you on another one of your pieces, so I know where you're coming from by doing this, but this, to me as a reader, is worse than having the character's name twice in the same sentence.

Overall: nice work! I look forward to seeing where the story continues from here. Until next time!




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Thu Jul 14, 2022 2:18 pm
Liminality wrote a review...



Hi again Salis!

First Impressions

Mia, Lara and Kia seem to be quite memorable antagonists! I like how they work together and how they follow through with their commitment. I also like how Tokura acknowledges that about them in the end – I thought that was a nice touch. Tokura’s character arc here was interesting. I hadn’t thought that pride was the reason he was holding back at first. I’d somehow thought it had to do with pragmatism or maybe fear that he wouldn’t be able to help later if he expended himself now. I like his resolve to go and help his classmates at the end though – that part makes me root for him for sure.

Tokura

The teenager with raspberry-colored hair could end all this, but he would have to further drain his devas for that purpose and he needed to save as much of his strength as possible for helping his comrades in the main battle that lay ahead.

Reading this somewhere in the beginning gave me the impression that Tokura’s decision was primarily motivated by helping his classmates in the first place.
But he hadn’t done that. Why? Was it to make sure he would have enough power to be of use to his comrades when he reached them? Or was it in order to have enough power to not be defeated by anyone because of his pride?

This bit is the first time the idea is brought up that he’s doing it out of pride, so it came a bit out of the blue when I read the chapter the first time.
I think it could be that Tokura only thought he had altruistic motives at first, but then later as the chapter progresses those altruistic motives become genuine? I couldn’t really read that from the story as it is on the first go, though.
This chapter felt quite introspective, as there was a lot of focus on Tokura’s thoughts. Reading his analysis of the battle helped me keep track of it, where otherwise, because of all the clones and the four different participants, it might have been harder to follow. At times some of his inner thoughts do seem a bit unrelated to the action/ unnecessary to show his character, though. For example, in the third paragraph, “ Another blue thing made the situation worse “ – the way he’s trying to relate everything in his mind at the moment to the colour blue felt a bit forced, almost as though he was trying to compose a poem about it in his head or something, if that makes sense.

Mia, Kia and Lara

(The Kias) ‘-We have the most melodic voices in all of Sunbird, so we like listening to ourselves talk. The more of us there are talking, the better.’

I do really like that they were just all talking in sync almost for fun xD That kind of adds a charm to their character. I also thought it was funny I guess because usually clones are shown talking in sync and no one comments about it, as though it’s just expected that they would do that, but here, Tokura actually points it out.
Although they were his foes, Tokura had to give Lara, Mia and Kia credit for being very loyal. Ulura wouldn’t have fought so valiantly to buy them time if she was participating in the Class Battle and their places were exchanged. . .
What about Mr. Braveheart’s classmates, though? They put their faith in him and he had betrayed that faith because of his pride and selfishness.

I like this concept of drawing parallels between the classes! This bit made me curious about the relationship between the three girls and the rest of their classmates, if they’re highlighted as being different. I also like that we’re getting to see different moral positions, if you will, even among the antagonists. I think that makes them more interesting and also more ‘real’ as a group.
Something I think you do well in general is to build up the tension and drama for the fight scenes. The use of the talking clones to taunt Tokura has the effect of making him seem trapped and showing his frustration, especially in response to quips like:
(The Laras) ‘-That was a rhetorical question. You don’t have any choice but to stay with us now.’


Overall

I thought this was a well-structured fight scene that focused on some good ideas. I don’t have as many predictions as I might have had in other chapters at the moment, as this chapter seems pretty self-contained. I also don’t see too many hints about what Tokura is going to do per say once he reaches the battlefield. I suppose he’ll probably run into one of the Ares trio before then, since they’ve been dispatched to take out the three from the Earthlings’ vanguard.

Hope some of this helps and feel free to ask for more feedback!
-Lim




SalisRuinen says...


Thank you for the review!
Your guess that Tokura only thought he had altruistic motives at first is right on the spot! There is a bit of self-deception going on with him here and I was hoping I managed to capture that as he slowly realizes the truth and makes his choice.
As for all the comments on blue within the chapter, while the focus is on Tokura, the narrative is not a first-person type, so the sentence "Another blue thing made the situation worse" isn't necessarily an observation by Tokura himself. It's rather a device used to further amplify the feeling of a predominant color in the environment.
Lastly, about the Ares Trio, Tokura will indeed meet a member of the three and that will mark the climax of the Class Battle Arc, from where its second half will start.




Make sure you marry someone who laughs at the same things you do.
— Holden Caulfield