Act 1 : Severing the Lines (1/2)

Today, I sit with Steve and Alex (no, the Minecraft relation was not intended) as we observe Nicole and her Black Brigade friends chat together. This special sect of retards, called the Imperial Guard, are the most refined, (or most retarded, for that matter) most capable representations of the Black Brigade. Say the regular students are the army, while the Imperial Guard are the special forces.

You might be wondering as to why I commit such cruelty to the people I hate. You see me doing regular teenager stuff every now and then, but you also see me commenting like a merciless murderer. Like a hangman who's hung one too much. Well, I'll tell you about it right here. Flashback! (in an overly dramatic and unessential way)

It was 3 years ago. I was leaning against the window of the classroom, watching the birds and clouds outside. What a wonderful and free life the birds have, I thought. It was about time now that I started a change in my life.

The first thing I changed was my productivity. Once there was a project the school sent, I did it as fast as I could. I coordinated with my team mates to do their part in the project, and all of my grades were spectacular. Second was my attitude. I was very energetic, didn't curse at all, was very forgiving, basically was the poster child for a nice role model. Third was my cooperation. I participated in a lot more school events, was politically active, etc. 

What motive do I have, you ask? The goal of all of this was to be accepted as a nice person to other people. To be loved and respected for being who I am. I know people who have done this before. And if so much people get the honor of love and respect, who are others to judge what I do to achieve that goal? It turns out, these grand dreams and prospects of mine are not so easily achieved.

The first signs were shown by my co-workers. They overworked me because of my intelligence, forcing me to do unequal work compared to them. I solved it by arguing about it to the teachers, and they stopped doing such cruelty. By that time, I had felt dishonor, and was doubting my abilities. I have known myself that I have a long, awkward, and autistic history, not that I am confirmed to be autistic, but I am definitely different.

Then I was slowly being knocked to my senses. Not by incidents like prior, but the fact that life keeps going on. I tried being more strict, being more nice, being more active. Nothing worked. As if, the world didn't care what I was doing. They think I was still the same kid. No one cares if I was a nice kid. No one cares if I did nice things. They only wish to blame people and mock people who are worse, so they can feel better about themselves.

Now I am stuck in that paradox. No boy, girl, or teacher had anything to say for me, even if I was working my ass of every single day for 12 hours a day. Everyone definitely had a say, but no one said anything. What's worse, is that people even started manipulating me for their own use, by letting me do more and more work of theirs. A pass for free grades, you can say.

So I turned back. I threw away those grand dreams of publicity, honor, and respect. I resumed being smart, but stopped being nice or active. I am nice to people, really; it's just in my nature to be kind and polite. But I never completely forgive anyone anymore, nor do I hesitate to whip someone with my belt whenever they did wrong. I also backed out of the spotlight, discontinued my Black Brigade goals, even went so far as to cursing relentlessly at one point.

When you stop giving time for doing things, there's plenty of time for doing nothing. That's what I did, surfing around the school, eavesdropping on interactions between people. At this point in time, I've made friends with a lot of people, boys and girls alike. It was, and still is a priority of mine to learn about other people and how to interact with them, since I am not capable of casual talk without a little knowledge of the person in front of me. It's not stalking or whatever, just casually listening.

Then I hear the news of the Black Brigade. How menacing they are. How strict they are. How cowardly and corrupt they are. Little by little, the noise brews in my head. I grew sick of the never ending bad news. No one made a change though. So as always, I'll have to take the lead.  I have to start a war, and win it. No, I want to start a war and win it. So the Syndicate was formed. Fast forward a little, and here I am today. Fighting a long, dragging war.