Hollow

Thanks for the review mags <3
So the line about the blood our pistols show is saying that there is blood on the pistols, which I know is a kinda weird way to say it, but that particular line was part of the inspiration of the poem. I was listening to a song and the real line was "she splutters pistol shots" but I kept hear it as "it's red as pistols show" which I thought was an interesting and pretty phrase, even if a little convoluted.
And yes, the progression you mentioned of the single words was intentional, but only after I had written the poem and moved some stanzas around. I realized that it created an order, and I always like putting things in order. c:
I agree about the spine line, and I'm working on thinking up something that could replace it. One thing you might not have noticed is that every non-single-word line has ten syllables in it. That was one rule I imposed on myself while writing this, so that's why that line seems a little awkward. I'm working on it though. c:

And the ending was supposed to be bitter sweet with a stronger emphasis on bitter in total but more on sweet when you take into account image
(death = total bitter outweighing, but dancing moon young = 3 good things and stopping breathing = only 1 bad thing)
Which I thought was an interesting combination.
Anyway, thanks for the kind words, and I'll look into the other things you mentioned I could change <3

Ah, I didn't notice the ten syllable thing. Good job on keeping that constant. I should have noticed. I took the pistols showing blood line as if the pistols had shown the blood by injuring something. I'm glad you explained some of the motivation! I always just try to analyze the poem as best I can to show the author what meanings they are getting across ^_^

I changed "silence" to "absence" because I totally agree with you on that part. I changed around the wording a bit on the spine line while keeping it essentially the same. But I do think it's less awkward now.
And I did a typo on my first comment. I heard the song's line as "she bruises cold, she's blood as pistols shows" when it is "she bruises coughs, she splutters pistol shots." anyway, I wanted to clear up what I actually heard because I still think it's interesting.
And a lot of the single words are song titles of songs I was listening to at the time (like gone, hollow, howl) or lyrics in the song (dark was in the song Gone, as were the horses I mentioned, though the song mentioned three black carriages, which I always hear as three black cabbages. hah!) And the jars in hush came from another song. Basically how I wrote this was I listened to a bunch music and picked the words that stood out and sewed them together. c:

Poetry does not have to follow the conventions of English such as grammar, complete sentences, etc. Many famous poems have no punctuation or capitalization. That's kind of the modern style of poetry these days. I actually did care a lot when I didn't put in capitals because I wanted to give the poem a feeling of brokenness and fragmented-ness. Capital letters are too harsh for this, to finalizing that This Is Important or This Is The Beginning. I actually had to go in and remove some of the capitals I put in there by instinct, and some punctuation too. The commas that I do have I only left because they would change the intended meaning if they weren't there. And I always like ampersands. They're so pretty. C:
Thanks for the review! Just letting you know that formatting and punctuation and such have no specific rules in poetry as it is an art form quite unbound by rules unless you're putting the rules on yourself. So next time you review, you may want to focus on the content of the poem more than the punctuation etc.
Keep reviewing ^^

Maybe in your book but I'm still in school and my teacher takes away points if I don't capitalize the first word in every stanza of poetry so yeah it is important. And no punctuation just makes you look lazy.

Your teacher is incorrect! Sorry! Many famous poets such as E.E. Cummings wouldn't use punctuation or capitalization. Many of his most famous poems don't. I'm in school still too and thankfully I've had teachers that are open to the art form that is poetry and the fact that you can stylistically make any choices you want to in poetry.
Here's a quote about E.E. Cummings

Some of Cummings' most famous poems do not involve much, if any, odd typography or punctuation, but still carry his unmistakable style, particularly in unusual and impressionistic word order.