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Young Writers Society


18+ Language

Eclipse: Chapter 15

by RealSadhours296


Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language.

General Content Rating: 18+

Story Content Warnings: Heavy Swearing, Blood and Gore, Death, Racism, Sexism, Ableism, Homophobia, Transphobia, Exorsexism, Child Abuse, Underage Shenanigans (Drinking, Smoking, etc.), Suicide

Current Chapter Content Warnings: Heavy Swearing

Viewer Discretion is Advised

#15: The Aftermath

Despite the cold wind that blew against her skirt, Noriko prevailed through the chilly, yet sunny weather that greeted her this morning.

Inside the group’s tent, Brian laid peacefully asleep, his arm protectively wrapped around Aden’s waist. Aden was all curled up and smiling in his slumber, subconsciously scratching the nape of the napping tiger cub who was now named ‘Blanco,’ according to Aden’s will.

The red-head desperately wanted to keep Blanco; not as a pet as Brian and Noriko first speculated, but as a friend.

Aden’s wish, although fervently denied by Noriko, Brian, Elric, Alva, Dr. Elfrida, Captain Gonzalo, and pretty much everyone in the camp, was eventually given when Aden persisted enough and gave his puppy dog eye to the masses. Most gave in on the spot.

Captain Gonzalo tried to reason with Aden, bringing up the resources, responsibilities, and dangers of caring for the tiger, but Aden was persistent. “He very nice! He do not need much eating like me!” Eventually Captain Gonzalo gave In, although it was obvious his willing defeat was only temporary. He would try to convince Aden about it again some other time. There were more pressing things to worry about…

…Like having Noriko and the three others’ names cleared.

It was very well stated to Brian and Noriko once again, just before they went to sleep that night, that they were in a rough spot with most of the camp’s civilians in the aftermath of the havoc. Elric, Alva, Dr. Elfrida, a handful of others, and Gonzalo were on their side in the matter. Most others blamed the ‘strangers,’ as Noriko and her companions were called, for the mess that occurred.

“We’re gonna get kicked out?!” Brian shrieked at the time. They weren’t responsible for what happened! How could most of the camp think it’s their fault?!

“Kicking the four of you out is the least of our wishes!” Captain Gonzalo hurriedly explained. “But it is going to be difficult to assure the rest of the camp of your trustworthiness after what happened. There’s going to be a big meeting by the end of this month. We have monthly gatherings where we discuss big changes and vote on specific topics…and I’m afraid the majority might vote to kick you all out.”

“Then what can we possibly do to assure them we mean no harm?” Noriko prompted with worry. This wasn’t good news to her ears in the slightest.

“Make an announcement some time beforehand; perhaps the day after tomorrow.” Captain Gonzalo suggested. “Present your innocence of what just occurred and try to sell your skills and work ethic to the camp; the best you can do after that is be friendly and help out as much as possible.”

Noriko and Brian slept on that advice. While Brian crashed within a minute or so, Noriko was wide awake most of the night. She barely slept much, and her thoughts constantly wandered. Worries and plans that were jumbled and messy from sleep deprivation occupied most of her mind.

So here Noriko was early in the morning, taking a slow, relaxing walk through the empty camp roads. Her destination was the nearby river, which she hoped to sit by and drown out her thoughts with the sound of the rushing water.

Arriving at her destination, Noriko didn’t expect to see Dr. Elfrida rinsing out a handful of washcloths in the river.

“You’re up rather early?” Dr. Elfrida sighed out, pausing her work. Her disinterested tone and the bags under her eyes communicated to Noriko that she wasn’t in the best mood. “Couldn’t sleep?”

“…No.” Noriko answered hesitantly, seating herself down on the dewy, rough grass. “Not after what happened last night.”

“Figured.” Dr. Elfrida shrugged, massaging her aching shoulders and resuming her cloth-washing. “There are two types of people in this world. Those who sleep like a log after a crisis and those who are as awake as an owl. You appear to be of the latter.”

“And you?” Noriko questioned, noting Dr. Elfrida’s shaking hands as she rinsed the blood of the wounded out of the cloths. “Did you get any sleep?”

“…Even if I had the time to sleep last night, I wouldn’t have slept a wink.” Dr. Elfrida answered with exhaustion. She continued to rinse cloth after cloth; and Noriko watched on with pity.

Eventually Noriko couldn’t take it anymore, and she cautiously stood up from the ground so as not to trip and fall. She kicked her shoes off, tied her skirt to her knees, and waded into the river. “Hey, I can help if you want.” She offered, extending her hand to the doctor.

Dr. Elfrida took a good look at Noriko, and then focused her attention on the human girl’s missing arm. “I don’t think you can, considering your…current state.”

The minute Noriko realized what Dr. Elfrida was implying, she clutched onto the stub of her arm and bit her lip, embarrassment flushing her face. How could she have forgotten?! “I-I-“

But Dr. Elfrida continued before Noriko could put another word in. “There is something else you could do for me however.” Dr. Elfrida prompted, extending her towel covered arm to Noriko. “Carry these dry towels to my main tent please. You know where it is right?”

“Yes? I believe so.” Noriko answered as Dr. Elfrida placed a handful of dry towels over her one arm. Dr. Elfrida smiled at the news, and as Noriko set off to accomplish her task, she waved the non-elf away.

Noriko’s tights were cold and moist from the river, but she would endure the discomfort for the time being. Upon finding Dr. Elfrida’s tent, Noriko noted the new, significantly larger tent behind it. The flaps were marked with the same medical symbol, and with a quick peak, Noriko surveyed the wounded that rested and moaned inside.

She was quick to leave this new tent alone, and instead entered the tent she was supposed to drop off the towels at. Upon entry, Noriko surveyed the cleanliness of the dining table and the crowded shelves filled with all kinds of herbs and medical knick-knacks.

And then Noriko caught, with the corner of her eye, an alter in the center of the tent. On this alter laid Diantha.

The girl was as still as a mouse; her chest rising steadily. Noriko took a few moments of her time to watch Diantha rest peacefully before carefully folding the towels in her arms one by one, and setting them on the nearby counters. It was no easy feat with only one arm.

There were so many things now that were significantly more difficult to do, due to Noriko’s missing arm. She hadn’t really processed it until just recently, and it had been bringing her down. She felt…powerless sometimes.

Staring at a nearby mirror, Noriko observed, for the first time, her own reflection. Her hair was short, straight, and brown. Her eyes were narrowed and cat-like. She was definitely of some sort of Asian ethnicity…likely Japanese based on her name, as Diantha had suggested.

But after that basic observation, Noriko paid special attention to her shirt collar. She felt like there was something that was supposed to be there. She just couldn’t put her finger on it…at least, until she glanced at the strands of cloth wrapped around her wrist.

They weren’t strands of cloth. They were ties.

What were they doing wrapped around her hand?

…Noriko didn’t bother searching her head for answer. She knew she wouldn’t find one, not yet at least.

Instinctually, Noriko looked for a calendar of some sort. She was grateful when she found one on the counter, and sighed in relief when her fears of the calendar system of this world being drastically different from Earth’s was mostly baseless. Moka, Tuka, Weka, Thuka, Firka, Saka, and Suka. The obvious counterparts of Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. There were only three weeks instead of the usual four, and eight months instead of 12; known as Nocemus, Jaburas, Feyas, Maprus, Munes, Jugastus, Atebes, and Secobis. But Noriko wasn’t focused on that.

Today was Weka, the third day of the first month Nocembus in the year 600 PK. PK stood for Priyavidai Kaneer, whatever that meant.

Noriko, without a second thought, pulled loose the green tie wrapped around her wrist with her teeth. It took a lot of struggling, but she managed to tie it into a sloppy, yet somewhat sturdy bow around her neck.

It was only after Noriko did this that she remembered why she did so. In Thailand, there was a superstition that assigned a lucky color to each day of the week. Yellow for Monday, pink for Tuesday, green for Wednesday, orange for Thursday, blue for Friday, purple for Saturday, and red for Sunday.

For some reason, following this superstition gave Noriko a sense of control over her situation. A small smile formed on her face as she stared at herself in the mirror.

Perhaps today wasn’t going to be as much of a drag as she originally thought…

“Vulcan that purse cost me $500!”

Needless to say, Noriko was startled nearly to death at the sudden exclamation from behind. She twisted her head to the side to find the person that hollered those words.

…And saw Diantha; wide awake, and sitting abnormally upright while gasping for breath.

“D…Diantha?!” Noriko exclaimed; gaining the distressed blonde’s attention.

“N-Noriko?!” Diantha seemed equally as surprised to see Noriko.

The two gawked at each other in shock. The tension was almost suffocating, but Diantha finally relieved it when her gaze trailed downwards and focused on Noriko’s new bow. “…Oh hun, the way you tied that.” She winced out.

Noriko clutched onto her bow, flushing with embarrassment. “It was difficult putting it on with only one hand. This was the best I could do.”

“Well come over here! Let me fix it for you!” Diantha urged with a friendly smile, beckoning Noriko to come closer. Noriko, after a moment of hesitance, heeded Diantha’s call and watched the blonde fix her bow tie.

“There! Much better wouldn’t you agree?” Diantha hummed out upon finishing her work, turning Noriko towards the mirror.

The one-armed girl’s bow was much more presentable. Noriko was thoroughly impressed! “Yes. Much better. Thank you.”

“That’s what galfriends are for!” Diantha lilted out with a gleefully smile, and then clapped her hands together; that same smile morphing into a more serious frown. “So…mind filling me in on where I am and the rest of the jazz?”

Noriko told Diantha the basics. Needless to say Diantha had opinions aplenty.

“Okay so you all followed what you thought was a DnD cosplayer into their roleplay camp, only to discover that the four of us landed in a new world straight out of a fantasy adventure novel.” Diantha scoffed at this information at first in disbelief; rolling her eyes. “To add even more bullshit onto this overly magical sundae; this Alva gal thinks we might be vessels of some ancient nearly forgotten gods?! Yeah right! And my favorite color is grey!”

“It makes a lot of sense Diantha. Trust me!” Noriko countered. “It explains our powers. It explains why we woke up where we woke up. It-“

“Then why are we here?!” Diantha urged Noriko for an answer; it was a question swirling in all four of the teenager’s heads. “And what are we supposed to do to go back home?! More importantly what’s with the whole amnesia thing?!”

Noriko remained silent. She had no answers, so she really had nothing to say.

Diantha let out tired sigh after a moment of silence, and massaged her temples. “Listen, I’ve apparently been asleep all this time so it’s hard for me to process all this. What you’ve just told me sounds like something straight out of a teenager’s creative writing assignment. How am I…what am I supposed to do with all this?”

“Speculate?” Noriko hesitantly suggested.

Diantha let out an exaggerated moan of boredom, and laid back down on the alter. “But that’s boooooooring! …Wow, this alter is cold.”

“What were you shouting about when you woke up?” Noriko finally asked. That strange sentence Diantha hollered out upon waking up had been floating in her mind since she first heard it.

“Oh? I was dreaming about my dog Vulcan. He’s a gorgeous silver poodle, but he can be such an asshole. He tore up this $500 dollar purse I bought in Canada…once…”

“Diantha?” Noriko called out to the suddenly silent blonde. The way they trailed off worried her…and…wait a minute!

Diantha quickly sat up on the alter again, her eyes wide with a sudden realization.

“I remember things.”


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Fri Sep 10, 2021 2:49 pm
RandomTalks wrote a review...



Hey!

RandomTalks back with another review!

I think we needed this break after the last couple of chapters. I like how you have slowed down the pace here as we focus on mostly Noriko's thoughts while she ponders about all that has happened. I like the reflective mood you have set here, especially in the first part by the river. It also helps us to connect with Dr. Elfrida and we realize just how tiring her job is.

One thing I found a little strange, and I cannot believe I am bringing this up so late into the story, but you have got to make Noriko's arm loss a little more believable. It is a really big thing and I just realized this is the first time she has acknowledged that. Maybe some of it can be explained by her habit of pushing away things that she can't control, but we have come far into the story now, and she has hardly ever reacted to her arm loss.

Diantha is finally awake, and I found it a little strange how she has been asleep for days and suddenly she wakes up when Noriko is in the room. I had gotten a little too used to it being the three of them so her inclusion back in the group is most probably going to change the dynamics again. Hopefully, I will get used to it again. Luckily Diantha has this odd charm about her. The way she summed up the entire story in a few sarcastic lines made me smile, and I guess this is the humor we had been missing in the story.

I liked the way you ended with the cliffhanger. I also liked how you didn't exactly obvious at first, but slowly revealed it through conversation that she has got her memory back. It makes the reveal more believable and satisfying for the readers. Now I cannot wait to find out what she has remembered.

Keep up the good work and have a great day!




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Sun Sep 05, 2021 7:26 am
ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...



Hey! Forever here with a review!!

First of all with your question. I think young adult is better than new adult. And I just wanna ask how many chapters are left? 15 more or maybe even more than that. Once you finish this novwl, I can tell you what age group it perfectly suits. And also, I suddenly realised I being 14, am reading an 18+ work. :P

She felt like there was something that was supposed to be there

....that wasn't supposed.....

Something which I couldn't understand was the Thailand- Japan thing. They are 2 different countries in Asia. First of all, Noriko thinks she is a Japanese and then she performs a superstition of Thailand. So what the conclusion actually is? She belongs from Thailand? If yes, then you should kind of include her thought or the realization of that. And if she belongs from Japan, why does she suddenly practice a Thailand's superstition? It seems a bit confusing.

Also the sudden reaction of Diantha. Like she suddenly wakes up and starts Noriko in a manner like nothing has happened. I don't know but it feels a bit odd. Also, I want to know what her condition was for all these days. Like if Elfrida has summarized anything to her or not.

So another cliffhanger we have here. Diantha got her memory back. I wonder if she got the whole memory back but at least a part of it is obviously back and the same goes for Noriko. She remembered the custom and superstitions of Thailand. These makes me wonder what is actually happening with them and also how they lost their memory. Talking about Diantha, it can be a cause of all the treatments that she got. I am not very sure about it but just a guess. And for Noriko, it's strange.

The quatret is gonna have quite a hard time. I am looking forward to whatever meeting is gonna take place and also about the people attending the meeting. I hope they will be able to defend and prove ourselves. Also, Alva's discoveries can be helpful in this case. They can even reverse the total situation and then suddenly people will start admiring them.

Overall, a great chapter.

Keep Writing!!

~Forever





Alexa, are there European frat boys
— Carina