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Young Writers Society


18+ Language

Eclipse: Chapter 16

by RealSadhours296


Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language.

General Content Rating: 18+

Story Content Warnings: Heavy Swearing, Blood and Gore, Death, Racism, Sexism, Ableism, Homophobia, Transphobia, Exorsexism, Child Abuse, Underage Shenanigans (Drinking, Smoking, etc.), Suicide

Current Chapter Content Warnings: Heavy Swearing

Viewer Discretion is Advised

#16: Recollection

Notes: A sentence written in English that is italicized in dialogue means that a language other than English is being spoken, and has been 'translated' by the omnipotent narrator for your convenience.

A cold paw pressed itself against Brian’s face; waking him from his deep slumber.

Brian opened his eyes to pinpoint what exactly woke him up, and spotted the white tiger cub Aden had decided to adopt for some weird fucking reason, kneading his cameo shirt and chuffing in curiosity.

Annoying.

“Aden…” Brian moaned, not in the particular mood to move any part of his body, let alone be awake at the moment. “Get White-Ass off of me.”

“Blanco.” Aden reminded Brian of the cub’s name in a sleepy voice, repeatedly patting a spot in front of his stomach that Blanco eagerly jumped towards.

“Yeah, yeah.” Brian slurred. He couldn’t care less what the furry ball of annoyance’s name was. “Just keep him off my face. Tryin’ to sleep.”

Aden nodded in confirmation, and flipped to the other side with Blanco in his arms, facing away from Brian. Brian, despite having passed out the moment he finished his plead, instinctually hugged Aden closer to his body. Aden liked it when Brian did that, he felt safe and warm in their arms.

“You can’t do that Blanco. Brian gets cranky when he doesn’t get sleep.” Aden quietly chided with grunts.

Blanco flattened his ears in guilt, and nodded his head in affirmation. “…Sorry A-den.” It mewled out an apology.

Aden was quick to forgive the cub, scratching his forehead in reassurance.

…Through his blurred vision Aden determined, much to his shock and worry, that Noriko wasn’t sleeping next to them. In fact, Aden found that she wasn’t in the tent at all upon further observation.

Now Aden was wide awake. He desperately wanted to find his friend and make sure she was alright.

Aden flipped over, once more facing Brian, and tugged at the hot-head’s shirt. Eventually Brian grimaced, and lazily peaked open an eye. “…What?” He growled out upon seeing Aden; gazing at him with a puppy dog eye.

“Noriko isn’t in tent anymore.” Aden informed. It seemed to confuse Brian, who groggily removed his arm from Aden and lifted himself up to see for himself. Just as Aden said; no Noriko in sight.

“She’s probably fine.” Brian yawned out. He was too tired to care at the moment. “Don’t worry about it.” He set his body back onto the bedroll, and was about to doze off…

“I’m going look for her.” Aden stated, setting Blanco to the ground. The tiger cub watched as Aden stood up from his bedroll and grabbed his rain-poncho, wearing it over his red and blue sleeve-shirt.

…Why him.

“God hold on.” Brian begged as he too stood up from his glorious bedroll, and yanked the nearby jacket he had lazily thrown onto the floor last night. “Jesus Christ I’m coming with you. Fuck.”

***

Aden and Brian stepped out of the tent fully dressed; Blanco pitter pattering close behind Aden’s heel.

It was early; way too early in the morning for this in Brian’s opinion. The sun just recently rose from the horizon. Not a single soul had left their tents yet. God why Noriko? Couldn’t have waited another hour at least?

Aden Looked left and right for Noriko, squinting his eyes to far distances. But unfortunately, he hadn’t found her yet; now he was genuinely worried.

“Hey Blanco. Can you smell Noriko’s scent anywhere?” Aden chuffed to the tiger cub following him.

Blanco waved his tail in thought, and sniffed the ground for a whiff of the brown walker’s scent. “…Yes! Follow quickly A-den!” The cub urged; quietly remarking to himself about how walkers created such weird names. He wasn’t entirely used to the name A-den gave him yet; among other things.

“…I still can’t believe you understand that thing.” Brian remarked, as the two followed the tiger cub through the camp. “How does it even work? Do you like hear a voice in your head or are the growls replaced with words.”

“You right the second time.” Aden responded. Brian ‘hmphed’ in interest at the answer.

The two humans and the tiger stopped in front of Elfrida’s tent. Needless to say it concerned both Brian and Aden. What was Noriko doing in there? Was she hurt?

“Y-you said Noriko fine-“

“I’m sure she is fine.” Brian reassured for what felt like the hundredth time already; listening in on the conversation taking place inside. “She’s talking with Diantha now. Guess she finally woke up.”

“Diantha awake?!” Aden remarked with excitement. Before Brian could stop him, Aden sprinted through the tent flaps. Brian was quick to follow.

What Brian and Aden were first greeted with sent them for a loop.

“What do you mean you remember things?!” Noriko begged for answers. For once the calm and collected girl the others knew her to be was the exact opposite of calm and collected. “What kinds of things?!”

“Well first off my last name! It’s Beaumont by the way.” Diantha began to explain, sticking up a finger for each individual thing she could remember about herself. “I’m 16 years old. My birthday is December 4th. Where I live…I actually live in two places technically. A house in Canada and a mansion in France. My mom’s pretty rich!” She bragged with a proud smile. “After the divorce my dad moved back to his home country, so I fly back and forth depending on the season. God what else…I mean, I have a poodle named Vulcan as mentioned earlier! I…remember bits and pieces of some significant events but they’re not very clear…that’s all I got.”

“What the actual fuck?!” Brian shouted in shock, gaining Noriko and Diantha’s attention. Aden stood by Brian, gawking in bewilderment at what he just heard.

“Aden!” Diantha shouted; a wide, friendly smile on her face. “How’re you doing today bud?”

Aden beamed a smile at Diantha, although he was still obviously confused at the situation. “G-good! Glad you doing well!”

Diantha giggled at Aden’s response. Turning her attention to Brian next; she was significantly less thrilled. “…Brian…” She remarked, and didn’t say more.

“Ok what the fuck did we just walk into?!” As much as Brian was, deep down, glad that Diantha was alive and well; Brian wanted answers.

Diantha let out a huff, and twisted her head to the side. “Wow! I almost died and this is how you greet me upon recovery!? If you’re going to be like that maybe I just won’t tell you!” She resolved with a pout.

Luckily, Noriko was happy to explain what was going on. “Apparently Diantha remembers bits and pieces of her past.” She answered Brian’s question.

Holy shit!

“Really!?” Aden gasped in awe, and waltzed to Diantha, enveloping her in a joyful hug. “Congratulations!” The red-head remarked, and Diantha happily returned Aden’s gesture.

“But why?!” Brian was more focused on finding answers. “Why and how did getting knocked out for a day restore some of her memories?!”

“Believe me Brian. If I knew I would tell you; but I really don’t.” Noriko shook her head, a small frown on her face. “Of course, on the bright side we know our amnesia isn’t permanent. We can regain our memories either with time or…when mimicking Diantha.”

“…You saying we gotta eat poisonous berries to remember where we live?” Brian concluded with half-lidded eyes.

Noriko vigorously shook her head at the suggestion. “I’m not saying we have to hurt to ourselves! We shouldn’t! There’s just always the possibility that one of us might get so injured we fall out of consciousness. Considering Diantha’s current state; that could potentially bring out some of our memories.”

“Yeah, you guys don’t want to eat nightshade berries.” Diantha agreed with Noriko’s first statement. “Trust me, it’s not a fun tiiiiiiiiiiiiger?! Is that the baby tiger Noriko told me about?!” Diantha finally noticed Blanco; sitting close to Aden’s feet.

“Yeah. His name Blanco!” Aden answered, picking Blanco up by his arms and shoving him in Diantha’s face. “Wanna pet?”

“A-ah! n-no thanks!” Diantha pushed Aden’s offer aside with a crooked, uncomfortable smile. “I’m more of a dog person…not much of a tiger person.”

Brian puffed his cheeks, and let out a frustrated sigh. “…So…what do we do now oh great and wise leader?” Emphasizing his compliment with sarcasm; he implored Noriko for an answer.

Noriko had no answer at first. She clutched onto the stub of her arm, and sighed; distracting herself from the question by watching Aden try to convince Diantha to open her heart to the tiger cub. It was an attempt that proved to be mostly ineffective; as the blonde raised her arms up high and scooted away from the little ball of fluff.

One step at a time; she thought to herself. And then she had her answer. “Our main goal right now is to piece together a plan to get the camp to trust us. Otherwise, we’ll be sleeping in the forest again.”

“I doubt the elves would leave us to starve out there.” Diantha reasoned, sliding off the alter. “I mean, just because we aren’t elves or giants or…fairies or…Some other fantasy-RPG-themed race that lives in this world doesn’t mean they don’t recognize us as equals right? To kick us out into the wilderness would be as immoral as it can get. I mean, we’re just teens too.”

Noriko partially agreed with Diantha’s statement. “You’re mostly right. They would probably boat us to their main continent instead if that were the case.” Noriko tapped her thumb against her lips. Deep in thought. “But we have no idea where they’d send us. We could be thrown in jail as suspected spies. From what Captain Gonzalo and the others have said; they’re at war with another country that the elves think I’m a part of.” Noriko’s lips morphed into a worried frown. “This…Lengese empire…many of the elves think I’m associated with it because of my name and mannerisms; it gives them enough reason to assume you’re a part of it too. All the three of you are associated with me after all.”

“That’s bullshit! Not to mention racist!” Brian growled out; crossing his arms and shaking his head.

“Yeah! What the hell?!” Diantha wholeheartedly agreed with Brian for once in her amnesiac…well, partially amnesiac life.

“…M-maybe we should learn of world? So we understand world better?” For once, Aden spoke up and suggested an idea to the rest of the group; although he seemed unsure of his proposal himself. He tapped his fingers against his green shorts nervously and waited for what he thought would eventually be rejection.

“…Yes!” Noriko nodded eagerly in agreement. “Learning the history of Kirakam would not only better inform us on how to survive, but would also give us a better understanding of the culture and beings we communicate with!”

“And that would help us sway the elves in this camp to our favor! ‘When in Rome, do as the Romans do’ after all!” Diantha perked up at the building proposal. Now they’re talking! “What do you think Brian?”

Ignoring the haughtiness in Diantha’s question; Brian put his two cents on the idea. “…I mean…it’s a given right? You don’t go on a trip to Mexico or whatever without knowing basic shit like the currency, and the culture, and how ask for directions to the nearest restaurant in Mexican.”

“…Mexican is just Spanish, Brian.” Noriko and Diantha both corrected simultaneously; the barest hint of disappointment on their blank faces.

Brian furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, then he frowned in annoyance, then he turned to Aden with an inquiring gaze; assuming Aden was an expert on such matters.

Aden had no comment. He bit his lip and glanced to the side; he didn’t want to make Brian out to be a fool.

Noriko cleared her throat, and regained the room’s attention. “We all agree with Aden’s suggestion then?” She confirmed.

Diantha’s hearty ‘yep,’ along with Brian’s lazy ‘sure,’ graced Aden’s ears. The red-head didn’t think Noriko, Diantha, and Brian would even entertain his hesitantly given idea. Yet here he was, being indirectly praised from the universal agreement of its quality. Aden didn’t know what to say, and so he stood as dumb as a rock; his mouth slightly parted in surprise.

“…Alright then. Thank you for you input.” A smile on Noriko’s face was a rare sight; yet here it was for the rest to see. “Now the first thing we should do before we plan further is go to Alva. She’s a historian; she’s bound to have some more information about the world we’re in and more. You three up for doing this right away?”

Brian shrugged his shoulders in defeat; and Diantha and Aden eagerly nodded their heads. Therefore, they marched on a quest for knowledge…

…Only to find a thoroughly peeved Dr. Elfrida blocking their way upon exiting her tent.


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659 Reviews


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Wed Mar 16, 2022 8:46 pm
RandomTalks wrote a review...



Hey!

RandomTalks here with a short review!

I was a bit surprised to find this chapter in the Green Room. I did not know that you had uploaded more chapters, or probably I had seen them and forgotten to leave a review. I am not sure, but I am absolutely certain that I do not remember much of the plot.

I think I remember enough to catch up though, and even if I cannot comment on the finer details of the plot, I think I can still leave a general sort of a review and get these out of the Green Room. Now that I have wasted sufficient time and sentences, let's get on with the review!

Something I have always rather enjoyed about this novel is its fast pace. Normally, I do not prefer a fast pace as it gets really hard to really take in what is going on and interpret the various characters. However, this story is mostly plot-driven and I really like how we are always moving from point to another. The fast pace accompanied by the short, punchy dialogue add a freshness to the story that make the characters come off as more believable and realistic. Its really great how far you have come into the story and have still managed to stay true to your characters. Every sarcastic or exasperated reaction from Brian, every overly emotional dialogue from Aden and every calm and rational response from Noriko are so typical of the respective characters that you can actually feel them in every reaction and word they speak. I have always loved the dynamics of this group, especially because they are all so different from each other.

I remember thinking while reading the previous chapter that Diantha's sudden return to the main plot of the story created somewhat of an awkward transition because of how used to we had become at the group being just a trio during her unconsciousness. However, you solved that problem here with the seamless dialogue. Everyone was so caught up in the excitement of the moment, that the awkwardness of this new shift in the group dynamics was long forgotten by the readers.

I liked the fact that we got to know so much about Daintha's history. This is a really big development and I am not sure if I understand the implications correctly. It seems that Diantha's almost encounter with death brought about these flashes of memory from her real life. She is remembering who she was, and even though its not much, it still changes a lot of things. I don't think that it was necessarily the berries that caused this. But on the other hand, we cannot really expect one of them to get into a near-death experience so that they remember some broken piece of their true identity. I am curious to see how they figure this one out.

That's all!

Keep writing and have a great day!

Until next time!




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Wed Jan 05, 2022 6:08 am
ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...



Hey! Forever here with a review!

Honestly, I have forgotten pretty much everything. So, I am extremely sorry if I miss out something very obvious. Anyway, let's get right into it.

Well, I think the transition from the last chapter to this one was not very smooth. Obviously, that can be for the fact that I have forgotten the last chapter but just to remember what was happening I did read the last p[art of chapter 15 and then I continued with this chapter. The cliffhanger was great in the last chapter but I think it could actually continue in this chapter from the very first rather than the scene change that happened here. I kind of felt thrown off the path. Maybe you could add one or two lines in the last chapter which signified a bit of semi-colon and then continue with the scene change. I do understand that sometimes changing chapters is enough to indicate that but ah... I don't know.

Now into this chapter. It was pretty interesting. A lot of things happened here. Hm... I actually wonder what caused Diantha to revive her memory. Is it really the fact that she got hurt and that made her remember things? Well, I don't see how that is possible but everything is possible in fiction. The only thing I want is some clarification of how and why it happened. No, not now but later on. I don't know but um...maybe there was something related to the medicines. She was given a lot of medicines, I guess? Or maybe it just has nothing to do with getting injured. It's normal.

It's interesting how Aden discovered the fact that Noriko wasn't in the tent much later. Or did he actually figure that out soon? I am a bit confused about the timeline of the chapter. Anyway, Aden's idea is quite a useful idea, I think. Knowing the history will be pretty beneficial to decipher the elves. Also, maybe they will find something very useful which might connect the humans to the elves. Like though they live on an other planet, they have a lot same with the humans. And maybe that will actually help the humans to remember their past because they are connected to some gods of the elves(only if I remember correctly). And also, I reckon that it will help to know some origin story of the elves' enemies. Like that monster that occupied the tiger cub's mother.

And now the cliffhanger. Well, I wonder why Dr. Elfrida looked like that. Seeing from the most normal perspective, it maybe because Diantha was leaving with them. Maybe she wanted Diantha to rest more(?). We will see soon. I will be getting to the next chapter soon.

Keep Writing!!
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