The Chill of Fire

This is a great poem. It's short and precise. The comparison between the color of autumn leaves and fire is handled in a really unique and fresh way. Usually season poems have a peaceful, humdrum feel to them and I like that this one departed from that. It makes the season seem violent and destructive.
I'm not sure how I feel about the last line. I know it rhyme with "Gone tomorrow, here today", which is a lovely line I wouldn't want you to get rid of, and it does sum up the poem, but it doesn't have the impact that the other lines do; it doesn't really add any new imagery. In my opinion, the trouble is the word 'yield' and I think you're going for alluding to harvest yields, to keep with the autumn theme, but I don't feel the word is strong enough for the verb of the poem's final line. Display isn't that strong either now that I think about it. All your other lines have really strong verbs: snap, spark, the slipping to death, the weeping. Really, really good and descriptive. So overall, it's a very well-developed, unique poem.
Hope this helped.
-tgirly

I love this description of Autumn! It's so beautiful and accurate that I can't help but long for the leaves to fall off the trees outside my window.
I'm no poetry expert and I can't find any glaring issues in this poem so I'm just going to leave it here.
I think that this is a beautiful poem and you have a heck of a lot of talent. Keep writing and Happy Halloween

Hey, its monsters. You have pretty a good foundation set up here, you have a good ability to think deeply about how things interact, and the ability to tie them together with a rhyme and rhythm. However, if you want to bring this to the next level or have a reference to a way you could possibly improve read below-

Everything, even down to the point of punctuation, line breaks and spaces should help the reader feel what you feel. Tap into those emotions- bring us something unique, bring us something when we read it the words are an extension of the feeling. When you talk about wind make your words, your line pauses as eloquent as the wind makes you feel(or doesn't)- usually, that doesn't mean putting the words in a line and noting the imagery to forget about it two lines down. It means commas, spaces, syllables, LINE BREAKS, and the amount of details that create the feeling of being so natural to us that it gives us shivers. That quality in this is lacking. It needs details, (dare I say again) uniqueness and eloquence.

This, doesn't have the texture of fire, when you talk about fire, it isn't peaceful like the wind, it's just there. These are thoughts, that go in a ladder sequence, from one metaphor to another like it were made on the fly, not perfected, re-mastered, edited, ect.


Again, it's very good.

I loved this poem! Very good job describing it!
"The branches dip and sway
as the flame flashes hot, sparking leaves of heated red and golden rays"
I could almost picture it at this part! Wonderful, chilling, magnificent! Keep writing poems like this! I need more!
-SnazzyPencil
(By the way, I like your avatar! )

First off, I must say that I love the oxymoron in the title. It's my favorite oxymoron after jumbo shrimp.

This poem is simple, but it is also simply lovely. I'm from a place that has many - many, I say - trees, and I simply love autumn. This made me remember what it felt like to sit outside in a sweater and blanket, sipping tea and watching the leaves slowly fall off the trees surrounding my house.

"Autumn, a burning yield of colors does display."

I must say, I love that line. I don't know why, but I do. I think because it fits so well with the earlier line, "the carpet of red and gold." Definitely something that reminds me of my leaf covered yard. Very well done!

Hello, RagingLive! A late welcome to Young Writers Society for you!

I think this series of couplets was very thoughtful with the rhyme and choice of words. I appreciate how you have your capitalization correct, it really bothers me when people don't. I don't have to waste your life on that. This poem is extremely beautiful and amazing. I don't like, however, how one line is short and the other line is about three times its length. You might want to shorten it up a bit. Other than that, thought, I can't say anything. Flaunt your talents to the world!

-wisegirl22