Clock-work heart of the minute hand

My first thought has been “I wonder why they’re wishing for a clockwork heart.” I mean, I often times think that I wish I were a robot bc I find bodies really cumbersome (and sleep annoying!) so I’m curious where this is going.

Oh this is going somewhere else entirely.

Hm from the Dear, I though this would be someone addressing their parents. Oh je oh je, I think I might not be smart enough to pierce this metaphor. We have the lyrical I going backwards with the hour hand and forward with the second hand. What does it mean that they are the minute hand? What does it mean that they have to close their eyes when the batteries die? I am so confused, but so so intrigued. I really enjoyed reading the poem. It had exactly the right pacing and just because I don’t get it, I was still highly entertained!

hey there! this is only my second review after years of not being on here so forgive me if i am a little rusty.

first, can i just say i am absolutely blown away by your surplus of metaphors? like holy crap! it takes such a creative mind to come up with this kind of descriptive imagery and comparisons.

but, i find myself almost getting lost in the intricate maze that is the metaphorical meaning of this piece. i am left as a reader wondering if this was a person or a object, if this was a dream or reality, you know what i mean? i ended this poem with questions unanswered, which perhaps as an author you intended, but i am still left wanting more.

maybe there could be another part to this poem to explain it more, like a series following this person or this theme. but, of course, that is my opinion as the reader. the idea of a literal clock ticking as someone edges closer to death, a clock they are apart of, is such a mind bending concept that honestly is terrifying. the subject of the poem was concious of what happened when the clock died, and i can't imagine the terror as they came to realize that was what was going. however, it seems like the subject had somewhat accepted their fate, and took comfort in the fact that they were apart of this clock, and perhaps they even had a bit of control over the clock as well. it feels like the subject wanted to pass peacefully, and this image they created in their mind gave them a sense of finality to their life. maybe they even created this image as a way to find some beauty in death, and trying to relate this all to loved ones they have lost, accepting that they will soon join them and they will get to discuss how they spent their final moments on their own clock of life. the subject wants to feel comfortable and welcome, even after death in a place they do not know, but will call home for eternity

you truly have a gift for poetry, as these metaphors took me quite some time to unravel. as an appreciator of poetry, i do not mind taking the time to understand this poem, but the common reader might find themselves confused after reading.

overall, beautiful poem, beautiful words, and beautiful concept. keep it up, you have a gift!

Hello there! I'll be reviewing your piece today

I love the amount of metaphorical phrasing that you put into this poem. It's eloquent and nice to think about, and allows the poem to flow easily and readily. Here are some of my favorite lines:

""The batteries had died!!!"

I hear the kid mope."

Forgive me if I misinterpret any of these lines I'm reviewing. But in my eyes, this is such a unique way of phrasing death! It stays on theme with the clock and doesn't vary, allowing me as the reader to view the whole life as clockwork, from the moment the poem starts to the last breath she takes. It keeps up the illusion of a clock, never ceasing even in her final moments.

"..the very moment you made my eyes sweat."

I love this line. It dances around the idea of crying by describing it as "sweat". The line as a whole contributes a lot of power to the poem; it adds a touch of sorrow and intrigue as to what made her so sad to the point that she is crying. It adds a bit of mysterious context to the poem, just enough to give your readers an idea as to the background behind this piece of writing.

For the whole poem, I like how it progresses from start to finish. It's like a story, with an exposition to climax to resolution. I can feel the panic and pain in the writing when she is being chased by the clock hands. "I was wedged between the hands of a clock, My head rang with a tick and a tock." By using the word "wedged", it suggests that she has been crammed between the two hands uncomfortably, and it sets the scene for this part of the poem.

Overall, I love this piece! It was the title that drew me in (great job on that), but the beautiful writing is the reason I stayed. Keep up the good work!