Carefully, he reaches up, and gives her right side of the face a loving dab with his brush. Removing the faint flaw of color from her high cheek bone. Climbing down his ladder, he survey’s her. His work of art.
One hand extended, reaching down towards him, pale skin glistening in the rays of the sun that fall through the skylight. Every day at noon, they strike her. Reflecting off the unblemished white of her bare arms.
He is finished. After almost a year of work, she is done. It is time for him to take her to the temple, where the spot of honor, the spot for the statue of the goddess stands empty. Waiting for her. But he can’t.
The idea of letting her go, of seeing her only when he goes to offer sacrifice is unbearable. She is his creation, his perfect creature. Blue eyes, red lips, blushes adorning her cheeks, her limbs clothed in the finest crimson cloth, falling around her in folds that shimmer as the light falls on them.
Looking at her, he has to try not to think of her as a woman. Has to try to think of her as a heartless statue. But he can’t. She is his. He speaks to her, and at times he thinks she answers.
But she never does. When she moves, it is a shadow passing through the room. When she speaks, it’s a whisper of wind brushing the wall. It’s never her. She is an object. Sentenced to sit on her pedestal till the world comes to an end.
Every day, he comes into the room, sometimes forgetting to eat, and settles himself at her feet. There he stays until the sun sinks down below the mountains, dying the clear blue of the sky a savage red.
The creator has become a slave to the gentle expression of his created. The gentle expression that will never change.
One day, sitting hunched at the foot of her pedestal, face hidden at in his hands, he feels someone touch him. Resting their hand on his aching shoulder. Bewildered, he lifts his head, raising his red rimmed eyes up to those blue ones that stare down on his compassionately.
Her flesh is warm, and soft, her lips smile with a certain sweetness they didn’t have before. She sinks to her knees with the grace of the waves before they crash onto the sifting sand of the beach. Beautiful, with the power that brings men to their knees.
“H-how?” he stutters out, grasping her hand and stroking her ivory features, vibrate with life.
“Do not question the will of the gods,” she says gently. “Only give thanks. They have seen fit to bless me with the gift that only they can bestow. The gift of life.”
He took her into his home, and they were joined in marriage before the alter of the goddess who had given her to him. Aphrodite, the goddess of love and beauty.
Now, I ask you, what kind of idiotic weirdo falls in love with a rock?
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139,075 Literary Works • 672,404 Reviews
I do not know much about art, so it flowed nicely for me because I didn't question whether it was greek or not. I did question what time period it was. Your descriptions in the story are amazing, I could imagine the emotions of the main character.
I really liked the concept because anyone could relate to falling in love with something they've worked so hard on! Not the type of love that would lead to marriage of course, but love knowing that they made whatever is finished.
I agree with the others that you should get rid of the last sentence, "Now, I ask you, what kind of idiotic weirdo falls in love with a rock?", it throws the whole story off. Even if you do not add anything else and end with "Aphrodite, the goddess of love and beauty", it would still end nicely.
I really do love your writing style and hope to see more of your works/shorts in the future!
Thanks, Martina! Yeah, I will take it out. It doesn't really fit in the story.
Heya! Gravity here to do a quick review.
So...
At first I wasn't quite sure what time period you were in because you didn't really mention the setting all that much and then there was the painted statue.
Just for future reference (I'm an artist) the Greeks didn't really have a lot of different colors of paint the way we do now and even though they were known for things like painted vases and wall paintings, their statues weren't painted. The marble was usually left pure white.
So, other than that, I thought your story concept was really interesting. I loved your imagery and your descriptions, especially of the paint colors. As an artist I could really picture and imagine the colors and the statue coming to life. I thing you did a really great job in that aspect.
The one thing that could use improvement is the setting. I liked that you didn't talk about it much because you sort of wanted the reader to be like "oh, he's painting a statue" and have that moment of realization, but some elaboration on the time period and what life looked like outside the studio would've been really nice. Especially since it gives us a better understanding of the artists background. Is he in the city or country? Is it nighttime or daytime? How many hours straight has he been working on this sculpture? Does his arm ache? These are all little details to consider that could also add some length to this story.
So again, you did a really good job but as usual, there are always improvements a writer can make to improve their piece or for future reference if you don't want to alter it.
XOXO,
Gravity
Thanks, Gravity!
I like the premise, but this story needs work.
First of all, get rid of the last line about falling in love with a rock unless it's an Author's Note. In that case, make obvious it's an Author's Note. Otherwise, readers think it's something that detracts from the story.
I wouldn't use with these half-sentences as much as you do. Just me, but they can get a bit confusing if used too much. The first paragraph especially. Just use half-sentences every once in while when actions need to be emphasized, not listed. Use commas instead.
Also, appositives were something I saw that this story has trouble with. I'll point out "...given her to him. Aphrodite, the goddess of love and beauty." Replace the period after 'him' with a comma and maybe delete 'the goddess'. Like the half-sentences, only separate the appositive with a period when emphasis is needed.
The detail in the beginning is good and stays constant throughout, but I'd expand on what happens between the sculptor's discovery and the wedding and what thoughts he has. Just a few paragraphs here and there expanding on a few places like between the finishing and the discovery.
Overall, it was a pleasure to read but just a bit rough around the edges. I liked it Keep writing!
Thanks for the review!
okay. this was short. like really short. but i liked it.
i liked the beginning i liked the body and i especially loved the end. i love the way you show the emotions of the sculptor, the way he's attached to that piece of rock and the way he feels for her. i like how you inculcate the reality in a tiny space in the middle of the daydreaming sculptor i am taken by surprise when she actually comes to life and a slight smile comes on my lips when i read the last line. So in all a complete package.
This was a really nice story, actually a plot which i have already read and i loved your take on it. so keep writing such things: simple and beautiful and when you post your i'll be there to read it for sure. all the best and for this bravo!
now, i ask you, what kind of idiotic weirdo talks to a computer thinking he's reviewing something?
Thanks, oracle! I'm sure I don't know what kind of idiotic weirdo talks to a computer when he's reviewing.
Loved this story. I don't think it qualified as a rock after it was given life, I think that would pretty much stop counting it as a rock. Loved the idea and realism of it. It's like ponnokio (yeah no idea how to spell it.) Man creates something, it comes to life albeit in this case it was a deity rather than a puppet touched by it's makers heart. But that difference really doesn't matter. Anyways really good story I liked it.
Thanks, kevin!
Your welcome, awesome stories deserve awesome responses and tons of likes.
Hi,
I really like your book it's amazing. Just some advice. Try not to make so many paragraphs if you want to try to combine your paragraphs together. What is the whole plot of the story? I like how you made different paragraphs for when different people speak.
I hope this is good advice for you.
Keep writing!
Thanks, zbax! And, actually, you are supposed to put different people talking in different paragraphs.
Some random rule probably hidden at the back of my grammar book, that I really should read. 
Is this based off that Greek story?
Yeah, it is. I was sitting there and just decided to try and put my thoughts on paper.