Young Writers Society

This sounds like that he/she is possessive of his/her partner but quite cute, as well. Someone that makes someone smile after reading. Though, I know that we have different interpretation for your piece. It was simple and nice.,

Keep going..

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Hey there Pepsi! Welcome to YWS, I really enjoyed this poem, so I'm going to give you a quick critique.

I enjoyed the imagery of this poem, you have a nice idea here. One issue I had with this poem was how you said the sunbeam stopped to rest on her face. This is a bit of a cliche, if you can think of a more unique way to express this image, it'd help your poem out.

The last three lines were my favorite. The poem starts of long, and the lines get more and more simple, until the final line. This is a nice form for poetry. It has a way of drawing the reader into the poem, it's like an avalanche. It starts off cascading down in one big rush, until the snow settles and leaves us all covered up in the poem.

Like Niteowl said, there probably should be some punctuation after the line 'on your face'. Also as Niteowl says, keep your capitalization consistent. The only instant I caught was the last line, it's the only line that is not a continuation of a prior sentence or clause that is capitalized.

Keep up the good work, Pepsi, and keep writing! If you have an questions, or need any help, feel free to PM me or catch me on the chat bar.

Hi PepsiCola! Overall, this is short and sweet with some nice imagery. My critiques are mainly concerning the small stuff.

Sometimes in the morning,
before falling back to sleep,
I see a sunbeam
stop and rest
on your face
So I kiss it,
to let that star know
You're mine.

I think there needs to be some sort of punctuation after "on your face". It could be a period (if you want to make this two sentences) or a comma (this is grammatically correct, but makes the piece feel like a run-on sentence). I also think you could split it into two stanzas at this point.

You're also inconsistent with capitalization. Either only capitalize as you would in prose (I prefer this) or capitalize the first letter of every line (not my favorite option, especially when the piece is this short).

Overall, this is a lovely short piece. Some cleaning up of small stuff would make it even better. Good job and keep writing!