Young Writers Society

Rereading this poem makes me want to throw something for some reason. Maybe it's the fact that I'm up at 4 am and everything makes me want to throw something.

I should rewrite this sometime. I don't have any time.

Do you ever reread something you've written and are like, 'shut up, past self' cause that's what I'm feeling right now.

Such Angst tm. It's kind of ironic that this was supposed to be a satire of an angsty love poem and it's still super angsty. Maybe all poetry is doomed to be angsty on some level.

I'm just really done with emotions right now. I shhoul dsleep.

Rereading this poem makes me want to throw something for some reason. Maybe it's the fact that I'm up at 4 am and everything makes me want to throw something.

I should rewrite this sometime. I don't have any time.

Do you ever reread something you've written and are like, 'shut up, past self' cause that's what I'm feeling right now.

Such Angst tm. It's kind of ironic that this was supposed to be a satire of an angsty love poem and it's still super angsty. Maybe all poetry is doomed to be angsty on some level.

I'm just really done with emotions right now. I shhoul dsleep.

Okay, first of all, I can't believe more people haven't reviewed this. I absolutely loved reading this piece.

At first I thought it was about a lost love, when I read

"This time, there isn’t a 'you'
No beating hearts ‘still intertwined
Dear Reader, you know “you”,
That perfect lovely lover who left the poet behind."

Then I read on and I admit I got confused at the part where it says

"This time, the poems are confusing,
When they sing of love and labor,
The closest thing I’ve had to love--
Is cookies from the next-door-neighbor."

But in the end you made your message clear and it came out perfectly. Your emotions are very well-portrayed.
There are two points I need to make about this piece. First of all, I love how you avoided saying the words "love" or "relationship" by using the simple pronoun: "you." That was very graceful. The other thing I have to point out is how incredibly independent you sound (specifically in the end).

"'You' is exaggerated anyway."

I personally spent my adolescence constantly in & out of different relationships. It got to the point where I didn't know who I was without a (romantic) partner. Take it from me, love is not worth losing your identity over. I truly admire that rather than thinking you're undesirable, you realize relationships are overestimated.
You sound like a truly independent human being, which is a great thing.

Keep up the good work, and keep on being you.

Okay, first of all, I can't believe more people haven't reviewed this. I absolutely loved reading this piece.

At first I thought it was about a lost love, when I read

"This time, there isn’t a 'you'
No beating hearts ‘still intertwined
Dear Reader, you know “you”,
That perfect lovely lover who left the poet behind."

Then I read on and I admit I got confused at the part where it says

"This time, the poems are confusing,
When they sing of love and labor,
The closest thing I’ve had to love--
Is cookies from the next-door-neighbor."

But in the end you made your message clear and it came out perfectly. Your emotions are very well-portrayed.
There are two points I need to make about this piece. First of all, I love how you avoided saying the words "love" or "relationship" by using the simple pronoun: "you." That was very graceful. The other thing I have to point out is how incredibly independent you sound (specifically in the end).

"'You' is exaggerated anyway."

I personally spent my adolescence constantly in & out of different relationships. It got to the point where I didn't know who I was without a (romantic) partner. Take it from me, love is not worth losing your identity over. I truly admire that rather than thinking you're undesirable, you realize relationships are overestimated.
You sound like a truly independent human being, which is a great thing.

Keep up the good work, and keep on being you.

Hi! SilverBerry here for a review! This poem is absolutely wonderful, you have a great outlook, your tone is very clear throughout the poem, and you incorporated a consistent rhyme scheme, well done! Your poem seems to sort of turn from one mood to the next, if that makes sense, and I liked how you seemed to change point of views. You also made a very realistic and relatable poem, and though it did rhyme, it was still casual (not forced). I'll still try to help you the best I can though.

Okay, let's start with the first stanza. I think you should consider changing it to "You know THE 'you'", since you're (the way I understood it) incorporating "you" like an idea of that lover people right about, it's an important idea in your poem. Also, THE you sounds like you are referring to a type of person, while how you've written it sounds like you're referring to a specific one.

That perfect lovely lover who left the poet behind.

When they sing of love and labor,
The closest thing I’ve had to love--
Is cookies from the next-door-neighbor.

This time, I don't need no man"