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125,008 Literary Works • 672,831 Reviews
Hi there! Sarah here for a review! So, I really liked what you did with this poem. First thing I would like to compliment you on is the title. It instantly made me want to read it. I have to say though, that the lines are a little too long. It is slightly messing-up the flow of the piece. I wouldn't take out any words, but divide them into sections. Other than that I don't see anything else wrong with the poem. I really liked how you put a twist on Beauty and the Beast. It was clever and cute!! Keep up the good writing!!
This poem is definitely about someone, it's really easy to tell that.
"Beauty is a beast.
Her perfectly manicured nails will rip you to shreds.
Her white chicklet-square teeth will tear into your flesh.
Her high heels will stomp you into the ground.
Her small, ladylike hands will rip you limb from limb.
Her sweet, innocent voice will cut into your soul.
Her winning smile will poison you.
This is the nature of the beast."
I particularly like this stanza, as it is an oxymoron. The way in which you've made named really nice things and given them such a horrid role really captivated me. The title in itself, made me want to ready it right awry. So well done.
IvyLeonora
Dear Pencil2Paper,
I must say that I'm quite fond of this poem, I like the message, although simple, is effectively excited have anger for the begging explanation and kindness for the other. however I wish to know more, or least continue on has the Beauty hurt the Beast? Is the Beast destroyed from her attack if there was one? Well I suppose my wanting to know just proves you did very well on this poem. Very good job, hope to read more from you later on.
Sincerely,
The A
Hello there Pencil! Dogs here with your review. Okeyy dokey, I love the topic of this piece, certainly lots of room for personification and creating a shape for "beauty" as a beast. You have great imagery in your writing, but sometimes at the cost of rhythm and the flow of your poem being smooth. I think most of your lines that you've written are a little bit to long. The issue with longer lines in poetry is that it breaks up the flow of your writing and your excellent rhythm. So to fix this problem you could maybe cut most, if not all of these lines into two separate lines. Maybe try something like:
"Beauty is a beast.
her perfectly manicured nails
will rip you to shreds.
Her white chicklet- square teeth,
will tear into your flesh."
It looks better and reads smoother that way. My other criticism is that you use a little bit to much repetition in your writing here. In some poetry repetition can be used to your advantage, however, when you're using it so much so that your writing has become predictable, that should be a red flag. Once your writing has become predictable, your run the risk of losing the readers interests. I love the imagery you use in each line, but maybe try changing out the "his... his... his... her... her... her..." ect. ect. ect.
I love how you switch it up from "beauty is a beast" to "beast is a beauty," great role reversal there. Well done. I certainly enjoyed the subtle brilliance you put in there.
All and all a good piece, if you fix up the long lines and the repetition, you'll be raring to go. Let me know if you ever need another review. Keep up the good work!
TuckEr EllsworTh
wow this is really good. Now I'm not the best person to give criticism cuz everything i read is good and i write like im texting but when i read this i fell in love with it cuz i can relate to it. THIS IS AMAZING
Thanks!