Young Writers Society

Thought I'd go ahead and leave a review on this today. Just a preface: I realize this is entirely satire and that you don't necessarily think all or even most Republicans think these sorts of things. Also, unlike previous reviewers, I actually like it short - get in and get out with your joke before it gets old.

With that being said, this could be far better. Frankly, although the fairy tale spin is new, this is old, tired satire that I've seen dozens, if not hundreds of times. Oh look, the racist, sexist, in fact (to borrow a word) deplorable Republicans who want all women to stay in the kitchen and hate minorities. Who excuse rape if the woman was "provocatively dressed." This is pretty much the entire basis of the Democratic campaign against Trump, and I hear this in some form about right-wingers nearly every day.

So. Be inventive. Look deeper. Make new connections, thing of things you haven't seen before, things that aren't parroted so often, the things you can't find in cute little posts on Facebook. Yes, the fairy-tale dressing is new (and I really do like it as an idea), but that doesn't excuse the unimaginative societal commentary.

I didn't find the Little Red Riding Hood story very funny, although the other two were because of the timing of the joke. I think it just needs a little reworking - that one doesn't feel like it has a punchline, aside from general absurdity, whereas the other two definitely do.

We now digress into my personal opinion and a wider discussion than just this work. Feel free to disregard it if you don't want to expand your style in the way I propose.

There is another way you could do better, set yourself apart from the general trend, and that is, honestly, to not satirize Republicans in this divisive way. To clarify, I'm not saying that I find this sort of thing inherently bad or wrong, or that people shouldn't satirize political parties. However, in today's political climate, I feel that this sort of satire is not needed and is even harmful - and not just to Republicans.

Let me explain. This is how Republicans feel: that they are being demonized. They are all being lumped together in the basket of "deplorables," called racist and sexist and every other character attack the left-wing media can think to throw at them regardless of whether or not it applies. These are people from all walks of life, (including women and minorities!) many of whom are struggling, and they keep being told they're privileged and/or terrible people because of the way they vote. Regardless of why they vote that way. Regardless of what their actual views are on any topic. For example, yes, some people want to crack down on immigration because they're racist. Many, many others, however, are desperately trying to find a job and all they can see is thousands of jobs being taken by people who aren't supposed to be here.

I'm not trying to say all this is correct - this is just how these people feel. And I believe this is why so many Republicans side with Trump: because they're fed up. They're tired of not being listened to, they're tired of being called terrible people when they're not, and so they want a revolution.

Anyway, so that's why I don't think this sort of satire is what's needed today. Even though I *know* this is satire, I can't help but feel that little more ostracized, that little more unheard when I read things like this, and I'm not even strictly Republican. In another time, it wouldn't matter. But right now, I think it does.

So what could you do? Don't give up satire - but maybe change your messages slightly. If you satirize just one group, you could pick more harmless stereotypes. Like a Republican that owns twenty guns or something (though that one's also a cliche) and let us laugh at it. Not in a "oh, this guy is so stupid and ignorant" way but a "look at all the funny things he does" way. Same if you want to satirize Democrats. In general, stay away from attacks on character and stick to attacks on their policies, i.e. the types of changes they generally vote for. Also, it's never a bad idea to throw in a few jabs at whoever you're *not* satirizing at the time.

For example, this is pretty much my favorite political satire ever. It takes plenty of jabs at both sides and doesn't attack character, but makes lots of good points about the policies of both sides. It's also really funny. (It was released a few years ago, so not really anything about current events.)

... Hey. So while I found these stories amusing and written pretty well (in my opinion you should have made it longer because there is very little to... Work with.) I just wanted to let you know, these kinda hurt my feelings... Because I am republican and I dont think women should be silent, i think they should get to pick their lifestyle, and I just happen to want to be a stay at home mom as opposed to a career woman. I respect career women a lot because they are strong and smart and just awesome. But I am also strong and smart, I just have a different lifestyle. And I dont even know how to respond to the red riding hood one because i assume youre using it as a metaphor for rape. Let me know if it is or not, (if so, i think that people who say Victims, i say victims because i am aware it happens to boys and girls, should "enjoy it" or were "asking for it" are soulless bastards) And for the last two, no one i know is racist and thinks that poc should have stereotypical lower class jobs. My opinion is that I shouldnt have to support anyone,race and gender regardless, if they arent doing literally everything they can to rise above their situation. So if they buy booze and drugs, they are using money that could be Put in savings or used to buy clothes and food and school supplies or pay tuition, on something unhealthy and in the long run, utterly worthless, they are wasting resources and dont actually care. If they are doing evething they can and it still isnt enough, by all means i will help them all i can. At least in my church, we try to help all we can. We even have a free addiction recovery program. We have storehouses for people who need help. We have classes on how to budget and places that help them get jobs. But only people that actually care use them.

But you do have a great writing style, and even though I didnt like the content because of personal opinions, you are great at writing satire.

If this hurts your feelings, I will gladly remove my opinions from this comment, because honestly, I think you're a great writer and Id like to be friends, but I also wanted to you to know my feelings and why. I hope we can be friends still.

Have you ever read the "Politically Correct Bedtime Stories" by James Finn Garner, your tales reminded me of that book.

Generally I think that your piece was fairly humorous, although I must say the Red Riding Hood story is pushing it a little bit for me. The vast majority of Republicans, do not condone sexual assault and although the other stories are equally untrue for the general population (Republicans also do not generally think women are bad, or that Mexicans should only do garden work etc) I can at least understand how Republican policies could warrant those critiques and satire. The Red Riding Hood is just pushing it too much for me though. I'm not saying that you don't have a well written piece here, but I would say that implying that an entire political party supports sexual assault is a bit much. I could go into how its the Democrats who have policies and politicians are more in line with that sort of critique, but I'm not even going to go there because honestly I don't think it's an unwarranted and potentially hateful accusation against most people.

Best of luck in future writing! And of course, please note that I'm not trying to be overly critical here, just pointing out what other audience members may potentially take away from the piece. Have a good day.

~alliyah

this is brilliant

Hi, Cathe993 here!

First, I think your stories are hilarious. They do reflect some of the political points of view and situations today.

For "Rapunzel", I think there's a typo--there shouldn't be another paragraph.

I assume your work is for readers who are already familiar with the stories; otherwise please introduce Prince Eric in "The Little Mermaid".

The title is "Republican Bedtime Stories", but maybe you should change it--I don't see anything "bedtime" about the stories.

Overall, there isn't much to say about your writing except WOW!

I hope you keep writing.