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White Privilege: Pigmented Protection

by PenPacifist

Hey, little human!

You're about to leave the womb, and the world is a real scary place.

Lucky for you, you've got a genetic opportunity for permanent protection!

And I'm about to offer it to you.

It is called White Privilege.

Not convinced?

Let me explain some of its benefits.

First, we've got this thing called cops.

Their job is to protect the citizens of the world and keep them safe.

But since you'll have White Privilege on your side, you'll get extra safety!

Thanks to White Privilege you'll never, ever, need to feel nervous when you see a cop.

You won't need to worry when they pull you over,

and you won't stress about making sure your behavior is unsuspicious

or having to dress so they won't think you're a criminal.

Here's to not getting followed around every time you enter a store!

Another cool thing about having White Privilege is that in everyone's eyes, you're a genuine American.

You place in the U.S. of A.

You will never wake up with the fear of being found and getting sent back to your country,

or spend years and years picking up English

only to get ridiculed for your accent.

And you will NEVER spend your life slaving away earning only minimum wage

to get called lazy by people glued to their couches.

Nope, you'll never deal with this.

YOUR people are peaceful

(except for your ancestors who left Europe illegally and killed the majority of the Native population, but it's fine because the most famous one gets his own holiday!)

Now, for your looks.

Because of your White Privilege, the media will always find you attractive.

You won't need to worry about hiding your ethnic features

or have to spend hours searching for products for your type of skin or hair.

And if you're ever unhappy with your appearance, just steal someone else's!

Even if the person themselves would be shamed for having that appearance

or would be discriminated against for looking like they do.

You just swoop in and appropriate it. 

Take that culture; we've already taken their land!

And the even cooler thing is, you will always be represented!

There will always be white models, actors, singers, characters;

it's like a world of only whites!

Not only that, but everyone already thinks you're smart and destined for greatness. 

There will be none of this "having to work double time to get an equal opportunity.'

Listen, though, little human.

White Privilege is great and all, but that doesn't mean you'll live a struggle-free life.

You could be LGBTQ+.

You could come from a low-income family.

You may have mental or physical disabilities.

You may be a female. 

BUT these struggles won't ever worsen due to the color of your skin. 

You are at the top of the racial hierarchy, and this isn't a chance everyone gets. 

So get your White Privilege today, and spend your whole life convincing yourself you don't see color!

Side effects may include (but are not limited to):




insensitivity for other cultures,

turning a blind eye to double standards,

making up white people problems for when you're getting ignored, 

a dangerous sense of superiority,

and an unjustified offense to the words Becky, Cracker, and Mayonnaise. 

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60 Reviews

Points: 0
Reviews: 60

Mon Oct 24, 2016 5:45 pm
copgraveyard wrote a review...


i wasn't a fan of this for a few reasons, the biggest one being that you ditched all elements of an actual poem to beat your message across the reader's head. there is nothing clever, not literary devices like the reviewer below me said. some lines go on for a length that is uncomfortably long compared to other lines. it doesn't feel like a poem, it feels like you found out about satire, then white privilege, and decided to write about it in a snarky way. except, you didn't format it into a poem or a short story. you just wrote about it. this could be a blog post and reach the same effect, being one hundred percent honest. if i could recommend anything to you, it's to cut down the lines and have fun with it instead of obnoxiously saying "this is a satire about white privilege".

as for the topic, satire is hard to do no matter what. you got the topic of white privilege and did nothing with it except for present it.

thank you.

User avatar
471 Reviews

Points: 125
Reviews: 471

Sun Oct 23, 2016 5:01 pm
Lightsong wrote a review...

Hey, I'm here to review. Let me see what I can do with this poem.

Alright, so one thing that I notice in your satirical poems is that it can be presented as a list of bullet points. It seems like it already with a each line standing on its own as a sentence. Where is the line break? Where are the short lines when you want to pack a punch in them? It a feels explanatory here instead of being, well, poetic. You can even use some of these points to build an argumentative essay. What I am trying to say is that the poem is weak when it comes to using devices such as alliteration, imagery, hyperbole, and line breaks.

Another thing is how the poem delivers its satire. It talks about situations and scenarios that happen to People of Colour (PoC), and tell them in an obvious way. What it says would not happen to one that has White Privilege is bound to happen to those who are PoC. And it keeps repeating its messages by showing examples that are more than needed. Focus on one point and expand on it. It talks about weird behaviour. Link it to each individual having his own quirks and personality, and it is universal and happens to PoC and white people. And link more, and more, but still under the same message that it is okay to act freely as long as it is not harmful to others.

(except for your ancestors who left Europe illegally and killed the majority of the Native population, but it's fine because the most famous one gets his own holiday!)

I need to search about this. Is it Columbus Day? I am not sure, but here you need to take it slow, break the lines, so that readers can absorb information one at a time. Ancestors left Europe through an illegal manner? Check. Read below. Killed majority of native population (in USA, I'm assuming)? Check. Read below. Had one of them being named for a holiday? Check. A stanza done and made to explain why a group of people is not forever peaceful, and that history sometimes highlighted them negatively. It happens to others, they're not the first, etc. etc. But yeah, try to make a stanza and break the lines. It will help.

I like it when you mention about White Privilege not being the absolute solution. Now that we have touched briefly about racism, we are introduced to others like social class based on family's wealth, feminism, diverse sexual preferences, and so on. These are interesting topics to discuss about, but they do not really have a place here because they are represented in a list-y manner and we do not connect and relate to them as much as we should, not to mention they are not the main focus of this poem.

Anyway, that is all. I keep talking about your context because there is nothing else I can do. The poem is pretty straightforward as a satirical, and if you use literary devices like imagery and those things I have mentioned above, it can deliver the message more powerfully. So. Keep improving! :D

Age was respected among his people, but achievement was revered. As the elders said, if a child washed his hands he could eat with kings.
— Chinua Achebe, Things Fall Apart