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E - Everyone

How to Girl

by PenPacifist


Congratulations on choosing to live life as a girl!

Please be sure to turn your freedom in at the entrance.

Your uniform will be anything that will give off the impression

that you are a shapeless blob.

Because we don’t want any boys not thinking or losing control due to what you wear,

even if they are considered the more rational sex

Remember to be yourself! But don’t be too feminine

because people won’t take you seriously.

But engaging in masculine activity is always encouraged.

Hooray for boy stuff!

Make friends with boys but validate your friendship by stating that you’re “not like other girls”.

You are the “special snowflake” breed of girl that thinks and acts like a boy;

because thinking and acting like a girl is wrong.

So basically think like a boy; look like a girl.

Because nobody cares about your silly little girl brain!

But your looks, my fortunate fellow female, are on display.

It’s your responsibility to look your best and to remind boys

that you are supernaturally flawless.

Because if a boy is happy with how you look, so are you!

But always refer to rule number one.

You don’t want a boy going crazy on you because you look pretty

don’t you?

If you have any questions, complaints, or concerns,

please hesitate to ask.

Rules are rules, and a girl is supposed to follow them.

If you try and speak up, everyone will get annoyed with your thinking

and questioning of society.

And we wouldn’t want that, would we?


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7 Reviews


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Tue Feb 07, 2017 3:45 am
jordynlp03 says...



My first thought was "Wow, this is so relatable!" Not only that but the word choices were fantastic. A few of your lines were:

"Your uniform will be anything that will give off the impression

that you are a shapeless blob.

Because we don’t want any boys not thinking or losing control due to what you wear,"

When I read this, I actually laughed out loud because of how true this statement is. I get told this too often to count in differents ways, shapes, and forms. Having a fuller figure, i get told to cover up so boy's thoughts don't become impure. When i put on something like a sweatshirt, I get told that I don't look feminine enough. The world just can't make up it's mind on what it wants.
Your poem had so much truth to it and I respect that on so many levels. Please keep writing because I am enjoying reading your poems.




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Thu Dec 22, 2016 11:57 pm
jordynlp03 wrote a review...



My first thought was "Wow, this is so relatable!" Not only that but the word choices were fantastic. A few of your lines were:

"Your uniform will be anything that will give off the impression

that you are a shapeless blob.

Because we don’t want any boys not thinking or losing control due to what you wear,"

When I read this, I actually laughed out loud because of how true this statement is. I get told this too often to count in differents ways, shapes, and forms. Having a fuller figure, i get told to cover up so boy's thoughts don't become impure. When i put on something like a sweatshirt, I get told that I don't look feminine enough. The world just can't make up it's mind on what it wants.
Your poem had so much truth to it and I respect that on so many levels. Please keep writing because I am enjoying reading your poems.




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Sat Oct 22, 2016 12:01 am
mmbmio says...



This is everything that has ever crossed my mind.




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Thu Oct 20, 2016 10:51 pm
Epica says...



This is so relatable. :D




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Thu Oct 20, 2016 2:57 pm
angharradsboycolt wrote a review...



I absolutely loved this piece! All the way through, from the title to the final line, you utilise a kind of sarcasm that feels like, in some kind of dystopian misogynistic society, this poem could actually be some kind of propaganda. Of course, fortunately we don't live in a dystopian society, but unfortunately your poem grasps concepts that girls every day are faced with. You were able to capture the contradictions of female societal expectations within each line you wrote, which shows how well thought out this poem is.
I feel like in some parts, because of all of the contradiction in the subject matter, lines were in places they shouldn't be - maybe some reordering is needed just to clarify some ideas and give them a bit more of a sting, though I appreciate this may be difficult because of how complex the subject matter is.
Also the lines "You don’t want a boy going crazy on you because you look pretty/don’t you?" should read "You don't want a boy going crazy on you because you look pretty/do you?" This isn't really a big issue, and I expect it was just a little slip up when typing.
Other than that, the poem made me feel a sense of empowerment, despite essentially depicting the oppression of women. The satirical and comedic nature of your writing conveys the perception that the issues you bring up are ridiculous issues for women to be facing in the 21st century, and I think your ability to express this ignites a realisation that people shouldn't put up with being treated like this.
Well done on being fab!




PenPacifist says...


Thank you so much for reading my work!! I'll look over my poem



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Thu Oct 20, 2016 9:34 am
Rosy234 says...



Hi, I am here with a review. I just wanted to say that I loved your poem. The first thing I want to say is that I found your title snappy and really attractive. I think this basically sums up what people think about the female gender now days. I love the way you've used rhetorical questions and the way you write has a flow to it. Also, I like the way you've put stereotypes in speech marks to make that sort of picture it in one's head. Overall, I enjoyed your poem and am looking forward to seeing some of your other pieces.

~Rosy234




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Thu Oct 20, 2016 1:30 am
all wrote a review...



Hello! here reviewing.

This is a great poem. It captures the essence of what females are treated like in society these days. I applaud you. I really like the point of view you took, the tone is sarcastically well written and you can just infer that the tone is about being fed up.
Though this is a great poem, there are some things you could improve on.

Make friends with boys but validate your friendship by stating

that you’re “not like other girls”.


Here in this quote where the line breaks into another is kind of awkward. It's like you suddenly cut me off in the middle of a thought. Same goes for a couple of other lines.

Some punctuation is off and isn't needed in some places like in the "So basically:" line.

The title might not be the best, but I do like the cleverness of it. When I first saw the title I expected something different from what I read.

Overall, this poem is totally connectable to this day and age of what females are experiencing. Props to you for this, best of luck on your future writing!




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Wed Oct 19, 2016 9:59 pm
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Dreamwalker wrote a review...



Hey there, friend

Just a few notes:

The title is cute. Something snappy about losing the 'a'. Gives it a more modern, colloquial feel so I can dig it.

The substance of this poem was definitely more important than the style which is a usual when it comes to political poetry. When I read this, the first thought that came to me was 'this should be slam' and I stand behind that fact. It has that sarcastic, biting undertone of a good slam piece. However, as a written work of poetry, it does beg the question of why you decided to format this in such a manner. This could easily be considered prose so I've got to ask, why did you decide on poetry? What poetic devices did you feel you needed to convey these ideas? Was it just the aesthetic of individual line-breaks or is there more to it? I'd be very much interested in hearing your thoughts.

Secondly, and blame my inner unapologetic feminist for this, but some of your language is a bit cisnormative in a way that doesn't particularly feel ironic. Considering the topic at hand, it might be a bit more advantageous to address the spectrum of gender a little more clearly.

I liked the tongue-in-cheek nature of this. The vibe is sweet.

~ Walker




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Wed Oct 19, 2016 9:27 pm
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ChocolateCello wrote a review...



'Ello, it's Cello! Welcome to the site.

I really enjoyed this poem but I spotted a few places where it could improve with it's message and gain some more of the great humor you mixed in.

Your uniform will be anything that will give off the impression

that you are a shapeless blob.

So yes, it's very true that women are told to not wear anything too 'revealing', but isn't it also often said that women who cover up too much and don't show enough curves 'aren't a petty sight'? Focus on the paradox of the situation. Too tight, is 'slutty'. Too loose, 'too prude'. Nothing really works.
You can take this inability to please society and put it in a comic, but point-proving light. "Be sexy, but not sexy enough to be slutty, just sexy enough to catch their attention, but don't distract them" Of course that's a very rough example but I'm sure you get the point. Stress how ridiculous the whole thing is.

Remember to be yourself! But don’t be too feminine

because people won’t take you seriously.

But engaging in masculine activity is always encouraged.

Hooray for boy stuff!

Again, here's a good place to focus on some paradoxes. Girl who act masculine are often said to be faking it for attention, doing it so they can hook up with guys, or simply must be queer. Girls are between a rock and a hard place. Anything they do is shamed.

You are the “special snowflake” breed of girl that thinks and acts like a boy;

because thinking and acting like a girl is wrong.

So basically: think like a boy; look like a girl.

Because nobody cares about your silly little girl brain!

But your looks, my fortunate fellow female, are on display.

Here you put a bit of focus on the other side of things that I earlier said you should bring out. Put the sides together. It's easier for the reader to see the problem when the two parts are back to back.

If you try and speak up, everyone will get annoyed with your thinking

and questioning of society.

And we wouldn’t want that, would we?

Personally, I'd throw in a comment about how wanting to not conform must mean you hate men. It's been a reoccurring theme in feminist history for men to call feminists out as men haters.

So basically: think like a boy; look like a girl.

I'm not the best with punctuation (many on this site will support that fact) but I'm almost definite that this isn't right. 'So basically think like a boy, look like a girl' might be closer to grammatically correct? Ask someone other than me to be honest, but still look at it.

Keep up the good work!
-ChocolateCello




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Wed Oct 19, 2016 5:54 pm



this poem is amazing! definitely speaks to a lot of us. Very creative, and well written. Please give us more <3




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Wed Oct 19, 2016 10:37 am
Paavnithareja says...



RESPECT !




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Wed Oct 19, 2016 10:28 am
anshira wrote a review...



Hey, PenPacifist! You caught me at a time where I was feeling the exact same way. Dang! I think your poem managed to invoke all the feelings in me that I was trying to escape from.

Lets begin with the positives.

1. I would applaud you for the content of your poem. All that is exactly what I feel happens in an average girl's life. I could go on and on about what I agree with in the poem but that would just be restatement- just know that I love the idea!

2. This might have ended up like yet another boring poem on an issue in the society. However, you have entirely captured my attention with the light, sarcastic tone and vocabulary. It makes the reading fun and lets teenage girls relate to your main theme easily.'

3.Your beginning captured my attention immediately- very good work on that! It lets you think you are intending to praise the life of a female until you reach line two. The ending is also well done.

4. You have fit in figures of speech in your poem which makes it a great read. A wonderful job done with the metaphor, alliteration and simile.

It was really quite challenging for me to look for negative points in your poem and I am usually better at finding faults than giving out compliments. However, I did find two things that, in my opinion, could be improved.

1. Your title. It honestly doesn't make any sense to me. Maybe you meant it to be a certain way but I am unable to comprehend it. Would you kindly tell me what it means?

2. You have used punctuation to an extent but there is a total absence of full stops. I think they are pretty important because they indicate where your sentence ends which will let the readers read your poem the way you expect it to be read- with pauses at the proper places. Otherwise, your other punctuations are satisfactorily placed.

I hope that you find this review helpful. I really did enjoy reading it and I look forward to reading more of your work.

- Anshira




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Tue Oct 18, 2016 2:25 pm
Rosella wrote a review...



Hi there! Deeproses here for a review/opinions on this poem

I have written a review in a while and lately I haven't been able to read something that captures my attention, so my review may NOT be the best but I shall try.

I am basically just going to share my opinion on this, for I don't believe this poem really needs critiquing.

This poem caught my attention as soon as I saw the title and description on the poems page. As a girl, I can agree with A LOT of the statements stated. I believe you put your message out there, and it was very clear to read and understand.

I agree that the way a women dresses says a lot about her personality to others. If you show little skin, a girl is automatically labeled as insecure or "unsexy"
Yet when a girl shows too much skin, she is labeled as vulgar words and all she wants is attention.

Stating my opinion is pretty hard as a female. Standing up for the things I can believe in makes people think I am a "diva" or what I am saying is wrong. Girls are constantly casted out as clueless and weak, mainly because we show our emotions.

I also can agree that girls in modern time often look for attention from someone else (most likely a boy) for us to feel good about ourselves.

People seem to think the girly-girls are too emotional, stupid, clueless, romantic, and all the labels dealing with how if you like fashion, and light sweet things, you can't do anything good in this world. Tomboys seem to get more of a liking since men can "understand" them better.

In other words, I agree with mainly everything you state. This was the first poem I read that I really connected with. I can identify with this poem for myself and maybe a lot of other women can. This was a beautiful idea and made in such a great way.


I loved this poem, keep up the good work! Sorry this wasn't the best review/comment, I just felt like I needed to say how I felt about this piece.




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Tue Oct 18, 2016 6:25 am



This poem is written so well. I love it. There's so much truth to it but that's not the only thing that's great. The way it was worded is just phenomenal. Really great altogether!!





If a million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.
— Anatole France