Hey, great to see another work of yours so soon!
So between this and your poem about Love (I just reviewed it but forget the title! I'm sorry ), I see a common theme where you take a very broad thing and discuss what it is to you. I really enjoy that base idea and how you take it and run with it! This time you're on the topic of arguments, as the title suggests.
The first stanza is a bit lazy to me or almost slow to get through. Immediately in the second stanza however, it picks up and gets into the depth of what an argument is to you and how they go. But like I said, that first paragraph seems a bit forced. I understand the introductory aspect to it, but it's lacking a snag or something to keep me interested. It's very black and white and basic as to what an argument is. It's essentially "we didn't agree so now we are yelling." I would probably tweak that and give it more of a catch and maybe enhance the language in some way. I don't think it ruins the poem in any way, I just don't think it's on par with the rest of your writing here!
My only other critique would have to do with rhyming. In some spots you rhyme, some spots the rhyming seems forced, and others just totally ignore rhyming. I don't think that's a bad thing; I'm just a real bugger about consistency. I over analyze things really. I probably come off as negative in most of my reviews because of this. But back to the rhyming: I would try to go back and maybe find a way to either straighten out a consistent rhyming scheme, or draw out the lines to remove some of it so it becomes a more apparent free verse piece.
Sorry again for how negative I come across! I do enjoy this piece very much but I put most of my reviewing efforts into anything I saw that could potentially use a little work.
Please keep the works coming! I'm enjoying them. Also, welcome to YWS if I haven't said so already. I'm relatively new myself. I'll keep an eye out for more of your poems and such in the future!
-Tom
Points: 2080
Reviews: 19
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