"Amy?"
"Amy!"
I looked up at my mom as I finished my last sentence of my essay. She had an angry frown on her face meaning that I was in trouble, and by trouble, I meant big trouble. It's rather fascinating how my mom can get so angry at an adorable little girl like me, but that's just how moms work.
"I told you to clean your room two hours ago, did you?"
I looked at her with a fake smile. How the heck could I forget to clean my room.
"No, but it's not like my room is that messy." I was hoping to get out of this mistake, even though I knew that I wasn't going to get out of this. Again, how the heck could I forget to clean my room.
"Girl, you better get your butt over to your freaking room and pick up every single piece of trash on your messy floor, otherwise I'm going to come over there and beat the heck out of you." Mom said, then she went outside with her sassy walk. Talk about a sassy woman.
I walked up the stairs sluggish and sadly entered my private one room mansion, okay so it wasn't really a mansion but it was private.
Slowly, I started picking up every scrap of paper I saw on the floor, even the ones that were as tiny as an ant. It's not my fault, Mom always says to pick up every little speck off the floor otherwise I would get a whooping.
I hate it when Mom gives me a whooping, the worst part is it's more painful than my dad's, what I don't get though is that when Mom hits me with a shoe it hurts more than when my dad hits me with a belt. I guess it's just science, or the point that my dad doesn't hit harder on purpose.
"Finally," I said as I laid down on my pink and gold bed, right next to my red and white teddy bear I always sleep with. Anna, my best friend in the whole wide universe, always disapproves with the idea of me still sleeping with a stuffed toy, it's just her opinion though which means I don't have to listen to it, unlike my mom's opinions that I always have to listen to and do.
"Amy, you done yet?" A familiar voice echoed into my ear from my window. I knew that cringy sound, it was my best friend Anna.
"Hey Anna, get up here." I shouted to her.
"You come here, I got something to tell you."
"Fine." I moaned as I made my way downstairs. I made sure to avoid one of the old broken stairs that somehow is still standing.
Don't you just hate it when you ask a friend to come where you are and then they disagree and say the same thing, then you are forced to go up to them and then it's for nothing. I know I do.
"Okay, let's just get this over with. So, why do you want me here?"I asked.
"What do you mean why do I want you here, you should know the answer already. Anyways, remember Jess?"
I narrowed her with my eyes. Is she serious right now, of course I remember that stupid brat.
"What kind of question is that, of course I remember Jess, she was my bully you know. Why are you asking anyways?"
"So you didn't hear,"
"Hear what?"
"Jess is coming back to Maplewood Middle School, which is the same school we are going to. Aren't you excited."
I looked at her with that confused and mad face. Clearly, she didn't understand that she was my bully, my retarded bully.
"Why the heck would I be excited. Anna, don't you get it, I don't want to spend my whole middle school year with a stupid person like her."
Anna gave me a smile, that's when I knew that we were about to get into some crazy thing that I never wanted to do, even if it's robbing a candy store.
"Well, maybe y'all can at least become friends, I'm not telling you to be best friends with her, but maybe you have to let go of the past and then face the future. In fact, I don't think Jess even remembers bullying you."
"Woman you are crazy and out of your mind, of course Jesse's going to remember bullying. What kind of bully doesn't remember who they pick on."
"I guess you are kind of right, but just give her a chance."
"Whatever Anna, I have to go see you later."
"Bye girl."
I angrily marched inside into my room. I can't believe my best friend in the whole wide universe we'll talk about my ugly bully. How could she. I hope she knows that I'll never be friends with her no matter what. In fact, I would rather jump off a building than to see her face.
Her messed up, full of makeup face.
End of chapter
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Hellooo, I am Cate!
I would like to say that this story made me laugh. I love the Mom, I would love to meet a real person like that. The book kinda reminds me of something I would find in a comedy movie. I loved it, good job!
hElLo OoFoOf1!
There were a few mistakes that I'd like to point out. So, I'll quickly finish up with that:
I'm here to give you a review! Okay, so first, I'd like to say, that this is awesome! It ain't trashy at all, my friend! It's great. And, I love it!
1.
I feel like the bOld WoRd needs an ly at the end, what do you think? It describes it more. Sluggishly sounds more like your going up the stairs sluggishly. (God, this is so hard to eXpLaIn.)
2.
Okay, so I can see what you're writing here. Most of the time, people would aCtUaLlY write it like this: I narrowed my eyes at her. To be honest with you, you're making it sound like you made her Anna narrower with Amy's eyes, lol.
3.
When you ask a question, or write one I mean, you're supposed to put a QuEsTiOn MaRk at the end. Aren't you excited." needs to have a question mark at the end. Same for this one:
4.
What kind of bully doesn't remember who they pick on." needs a QuEsTiOn MaRk at the end too.
Anyways, this story was a great delight to read, I hope to see much much more of this book. Can't wait to read more! Oh, also, please tag me for the next chapter.
Keep on writing!
~Liberty500
Thank you
Your welcome, oh, by the way, if you found anything mean, tell meeee!
Hey, TropicalRain here to leave a review for you. And to help get your work out the green room.
I really like the name to your story so far, it seems to fit it well, and I can't wait to see what it will mean later on. I also liked how you started this story, it pulled me in right away, and I can't wait to see what will happen next.
I think your description was very well done, gave me a good image through out the story, and it helped me connect with the character your are developing really well, I really like Jess' personality, and I can't wait to see more of her. Another character I like is Amy, and I can't wait to see more of these two characters in the next chapter.
I couldn't see anything wrong with this chapter so I will be leaving it there. I hope you will keep writing, and post the next chapter soon.
TropicalRain.
Thanks,. I really appreciate that you reviewed this chapter.
Your welcome.
This is pretty good!
I actually like it!
And can totally relate, lol.
It was really great to read and the begging was actually pretty funny to be honest (cause its so true). Parents do that all the time, same for teens but you know...
You might want to keep these thing in mind though while writing.. Just Suggestions
One try to keep the lines were people talk separate from other text..
For example "Keep the money" Marely said.
New paragraph.... She shoved the money back into Miles hand.
This is just a line i made up, fyi.
Second after your done writing read it out to yourself to make sure the text makes sense.
third Check, check, and triple check your grammar punctuation capitalization, ect.
Now you don't have to do any of these things if you do not wish. Like i said before there just suggestions... But you seem to be doing great anyway.
If you need any help, questions just ask!
Hope to read more from you!
Sincerely
Anma
Thanks, with the part where the character talks I meant to do that.