Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for mature content.
Note: this poem is inspired by the terrible fire bombing of Dresden in World War II, which killed more citizens in one night than Hiroshima and Nagasaki combined. If you have not heard of this, please google it. After researching it, I highly recommend you read Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse Five, an incredibly confusing work of literary madness.
You raped me.
You stripped me naked and left me bruised.
My beauty made you jealous,
And if you can't have it,
Burn it to the ground.
.
Mistaken and misunderstood,
I held no weapons of fire
In my walls.
Only family bakeries, ancient churches,
And children.
.
Meaningless, pointless
You gained nothing from my obliteration.
My only logical conclusion
Is that you like to watch things burn,
So you drowned me in fire.
.
You took everything from me,
And I have nothing left
To glue the pieces of ashes
Back together,
Except my charred hands.
.
Congratulations.
You won the war, but in the end,
You'll have to pay the greater price.
While I lost my mothers and fathers, my brothers and sisters, my history and future,
You lost your humanity
.
And honestly,
I pity you.
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126,527 Literary Works • 672,938 Reviews
Hey, yo, Nikachu! Strangelove here on this PokeReview Day and I have a review for you!
First off:
I would recommend Slaughterhouse Five to anyone. If they want a comedy, I give it to them, since it's a comedy.
I'm going to make this quick, so it might sound rushed. This was interesting. I take it as this poem was from the P.O.V of Dresden or the citizens of it. I liked that, as the narrator is the victim. Though that was an expected way to address it, you did it good.
Now, the problem I had with this is that you said they didn't have a reason. They really had their own reason in retrospect, even though it's not that wise. I do like how you take the point of view of that. This was interesting, but I liked it. I really liked that part.
Overall, good job
Strangelove gives you..
8.1/10
Good job,
Keep writing,
Stay groovy, my friend.
#TeamPlasmaStruck
Hi!
I also cannot find anything wrong. Sorry I'm not much help. What pulled me to your poem though, was the immediate connection to Slaughterhouse-five. Although a book of almost complete insanity (that's Vonnegut for you!), I was taken aback by the immensity of Dresden and how overlooked it was compared to the atomic bombings. It might have been that the effect from the atomic bombs (aka radiation poisoning for years to come, secrecy of the whole project, causing the expectant end to the war against Japan) was so much greater, even though the losses were not as significant. Because it had no actual purpose in the war, people feel it should be forgotten in history. Sorry for the huge rant.
Overall I loved your poem. It captured the heart and soul of devastation from the interesting and unconventional viewpoint of the actual land. The heartbreak increases when you realize it feels connected to the humans that live on the land, saying "my", like it was a personal loss. You personified a landmass very well.
Great job!
Yeah I totally agree with your rant and those feelings provided a lot of the inspiration for this poem. Thanks so much for the review; I love getting feedback!
Hello there Nikachu, I am here for a review.
Well frankly speaking, I am not much sure as to what exactly happened back in the World War 2 to Dresden; but your poem describes all. It had pain in it which exactly what a good poet should have in his/her poems.
I read it twice and cannot really find anything wrong; however, your last stanza's second-last line says something like this:
"While I lost my mothers and fathers, my brother and sisters, my history and future"
Don't you think it should be just singular than plural? And if, let us say for instance, you are representing a group of people; then also the 'brother' should be brothers right? I am sure that was just a typing error.
It was a good effort though. By the way have you really lost anyone because of this war?
Keep writing; hope to see a story from you regarding this soon.
Oops "brother" was a typo; it should be plural. Thanks for finding that and thanks for the review!