Is it possible?
To curse and to trust? The very same person,
At the very same time.
An arrogant idiot though he was,
My best friend he always is.
It's hard to sort it all out,
But what is as clear as day,
Is that doubt will never take its place.
The flash and print do stories make,
But here in my head, it's as clear as day.
He was himself, ever himself,
But what that is, do I even know?
The world spun around his own axis,
For what did he ever know about,
Things as plain as the solar system?
The prime minister, you all say,
The king of England he always thought.
The trivia was what he kept outside,
The cold, hard reason governed his mind.
A fraud? Yes, I laugh aloud,
A concept too foreign when its him I think about.
Deduction was the game he played,
A master holding his very own reins.
He saw through everyone, he saw through everything,
Not knowing was the worst of all.
So, you may make your stories tall,
Make it sell for what its worth.
But if cold, hard reason is to be the chief,
Then the truth won’t be that hard to see,
For there exist among the sceptics bare,
A smaller group, who agree with me,
When I say, a fall may be, the press may be,
But I always believe in Sherlock holmes.
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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125,007 Literary Works • 672,817 Reviews
Hello there Mystique,
As a true Sherlockian, I must say that this is awesome and that Sherlock Holmes is awesome. I am so glad that you like it too.
This is Magenta here to review your poem, I Believe In Sherlock Holmes, which you have submitted to the Young Writer's Society for me and all Cobalt Critiquers to review. I however, don't see why you would say that you believe in him. Of course, he is real! There is no doubt about it!
"A concept too foreign when its him I think about."
Change "its" to "it's" because it is a contraction for it is. This was just something that I noticed while reading it.
"The trivia was what he kept outside,
The cold, hard reason governed his mind.
A fraud? Yes, I laugh aloud,
A concept too foreign when its him I think about.
Deduction was the game he played,
A master holding his very own reins.
He saw through everyone, he saw through everything,
Not knowing was the worst of all."
I loved these lines! They were very descriptive and captured the true thoughts of John Watson! How well you were able to incorporate every thing about Sherlockety Sherlockerson Holmes!
Anyway, there were these minor details, but the rest was great!
- Magenta
Hi there,
So I liked this, I thought it was well expressed and written well.
I really enjoyed this line:
'The world spun around his own axis.'
It's a fantastic metaphor for the fact that Sherlock Holmes was so selfish and yet I think he secretly craved for togetherness. He couldn't stop his own world from spinning.
Just a small nitpick I noticed:
'When its him' should be 'when it's him' because you're contracting 'when it is him'. +
'king of England' should be 'King of England' with a capital 'K'.
But considering it was a fairly lengthy poem, just two mistakes that I noticed isn't bad at all.
I think this had got really good potential and you should read it out loud to make sure it all flows correctly and sounds good.
Well done and keep writing,
H.L.P
'An arrogant idiot though he was,
My best friend he always is.'
I am guessing that this poem has been written by the perspective of John Watson, because it hones in on the relationship between the two classic characters.
I thought it was well written, apart from perhaps an excessive use of punctuation in certain places: 'When I say, a fall may be, the press may be...'
It just disrupted the flow a little bit. But on the whole, very good and as a Sherlock Holmes fan, a fun read.
Keep writing.
This is a very nice poem, but I am not sure whether this is Sherlock modern or Holmes original!
The best thing here is the amazing title/last line which has a really intriguing meaning all on its own, but an awesomely different meaning in the context of this poem. The only criticism I would give is that the second and third lines should be made into one to improve rhythm, apart from that, great!
Hope This Helps,
Take That You Fiend!