z

Young Writers Society


18+ Language Violence Mature Content

Chapter 9 - Unwanted Memories

by Murphy2493


Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language, violence, and mature content.

I regain awareness and my stomach greats me by growling at me. I feel like I have not eaten in days, my arms and stomach ache, and I realize that I am lying on something soft. I sit up cautiously, looking around to figure out where I am. I do not remember anything after falling asleep with Ethan next to me. I shudder at the memory, and as I gaze around myself I notice I am not in bed with anyone. In fact, I am not even in a bed; I am on a padded exam table wearing an oversized black t-shirt with ‘Led Zeppelin’ emblazoned across the front. I lift my arms to find bandages covering my forearms. With a gasp I swing my legs over the side of the table, only to find them latched on to the table with thick metal clasps. I bend and reach my ankles to get a better look at see blisters and sores from the cuffs, almost as if I had been trying to break free for a while.

“What the hell?” I mutter to myself as I stare at my ankles in disbelief. I glance around, trying to find something to explain why I am here and tied down. I am surrounded by white walls and no door in sight. A metal table seems to be the only other thing in the room. I chill runs through me.

“Hello?” I call out nervously. No one answers. “Is someone there?”

I wait in silence before calling out again. “Where am I? Why am I strapped to a table?” I hear a clicking noise, then the floor creaks as if under someone’s foot, but I see no one. I call out feebly, nervousness turning into fright.

There is a gentle whirring noise and a part of the wall to the right of me disappears, revealing a plush hallway with crimson walls. Ethan enters, moving towards the table and staring at me with an expression I have not seen on his face before. I try to shy away from him, frustrated at my inability to move my legs.

He circles around the table I am strapped to and says, “feel funny?”

“I…” I falter under his gaze, fear and nausea returning with his presence. I shallow. “Not really.”

“Remember anything?” He asks, placing a hand on my stomach, making it tie itself in knots.

“I remember falling asleep with…after…” I pause, a memory floating back to my mind of Ethan mumbling something in his sleep. The memory of his words makes my shiver.

“With me, yeah. Anything after that?” He begins to move his hand, gently stroking my stomach, and reaching closer to my lower regions. My breathing turns to short nervous breaths and my face burns in embarrassment. My mind starts to panic.

“No.” I gasp as he barely touches my thigh, teasingly.

“Nothing at all?”

I shake my head, my attention more focused on resisting the urge to scream or punch him to make him stop.

“Ok, well you might want to see the tape of the last few days then.” He moves back up, his fingers heading for my chest.

“No… I mean, yes…… I mean-. Last few days? How long have I been in here?” I grab his hands, trying to keep him from pulling my shirt off.

“Playful today, aren’t we? Well, I suppose it’s better than you trying to bite my fingers off.” Pulling his hand out of my grip, he casually reaches up and pushes several strands of his hair out of his eyes. “Watch this and I’ll be back in a little while.”

Pulling a remote out of his pocket, he presses a button, and then heads back out through the opening. It closes behind him, just as a security video displays on a television panel on the wall in front of me. I am instantly entranced by what is showing.

I see Ethan in the same room I am in now, carrying me. I am writhing and screaming something about spiders, clawing at myself as soon as he puts me down. My scratches quickly draw blood from both my arms. Ethan latches the metal cuffs to my ankles, keeping me from falling off the table, before trying to grab my arms and cuff them too. I fight against him, screaming and clawing like a deranged person. He finally succeeds in strapping my arms down, while I scream that I want to kill myself. Blood drips down Ethan’s arms as well as from my fingernails. The video fast-forwards through more of me trashing on the table then slows to show me apparently either falling asleep or passing out when Ethan injects me with something. Fast-forward. Ethan enters again and bandages my arms while I sleep, pausing as I mumble something. My words seem to interest Ethan.

“Please no, Ethan! Don’t do that again. Please. I’ll do whatever you say.” My voice trails off before I begin talking again, only louder. “Please let me go home. I don’t like it here. Don’t let the vampires bite me again. Please, Ethan, I’ll do whatever you want. Don’t let them bite me.” I go on for several moments on the tape with much of the same.

My stomach rolls as I listen to myself mention things he had done to me. The last bit of the recording seems to interest Ethan especially, as he grins slightly. I almost gag.

The tape goes fast again as Ethan leaves the room and I mouth things silently on the tape. I look like I a hallucinating again. A while later Ethan enters again and watches me, before moving his hand to my face. I lash out at him and bite his hand with the viciousness of an attack dog. He pulls back with a grim look, before reaching in a drawer next to the table and injecting me with a needle. I fall limp again. More then same process follows with Ethan entering and injecting me with something each time I wake up. This is all fast-forwarded through until it shows me waking up again, this time without the thrashing. Playing in real time now, I lie still for a few moments, my eye wide and unfocused. The camera zooms in as I begin speaking. My voice wavers with realization and sadness.

“I think I love him, Daddy.” I pause. “No, Daddy, don’t leave me here. Don’t leave me here.” My eyes begin to fill with tears on the video. “Please…” I mumble. Ethan enters in the middle of this and pauses, watching me with a cautious look as I plead with my Dad to stay and not leave me. I continue to cry. With more tenderness than I have ever seen him use before, Ethan leans toward me and gently presses his lips to my temple, whispering something in my ear. I stop speaking and my eyes move toward him, still unfocused as if I cannot really see him.

“I love you, Kyle.” I smile. A frown quickly replaces it as tears fill my eyes again. “Why are you leaving? Where are you going? Don’t leave me. You’re the only one left.” Ethan gently puts the syringe to my arm and injects me again, waiting briefly with his hand on my cheek as I slip back into unconsciousness. The tape stops, and the screen goes black.

I stare at the screen with an open mouth, in awe at what I just witnessed. What made me act like that? I have never told anyone about that. I told myself I would never say that name again. It hurt too much. What I had said brought a flood of incredibly painful memories. Memories of a father who had disowned me early in life because I did not want to be a doctor. Memories of the stupidity of falling for the first fast talker who came my way and running away with him. Of being robbed and dumped by him only three days after. Of being left alone with nothing. The tears and pain and struggling to survive. They are the memories that I had tried so hard to forget, especially when I sat alone in my roach-infested apartment, trying to get through lonely nights. And now it all comes back to haunt me with an intense force. I refuse to cry, to shed another tear for that selfish jerk.

I hear the whirring sound again, followed by the door opening, allowing Ethan to enter. He watches me intensely, holding a paper sack in one hand and has the other stuffed in his pocket. I avoid his eyes, embarrassed at how he had seen me, and unsure what to think of how he had treated me in the last scene of the video. It was unnerving.

“Interesting, hmm?” he says, coming over to me and sticking his cell phone into the pocket of his pants.

“Why was I acting like that? What was wrong with me? And why don’t I remember?” I force myself to be bold and ask him questions, trying to force myself to stop being afraid. I have been like that for the past three years. Enough is enough!

Ethan perches himself on the edge of the table, one hand in his pocket, the other on my bare thihg. My body instinctively tenses up, but I force myself not to cringe at his cold touch. “Hungry yet?”

Even though I notice that he seems to be shying away from any answers, I cannot pass up his offer. “Yes.”

“Here.” He takes out a roll and a bottle of water from the paper sack and hands them to me. “Don’t eat it too quickly or you’ll be sick.”

I snatch both from him greedily, ignoring his instruction as I devour the roll. I take a long swig of water before looking back up at Ethan.

“Can you undo my legs now?” I ask, a little grumpily, but trying to keep my emotions in check.

“Hmm. I dunno. That makes what I was planning a little more difficult.” He inches his hand a little further up my thigh, stroking the soft skin.

I hold in a gasp. “I’m still hungry. Can I have some more food?”

“Nope. Don’t want you to eat too much and make yourself sick. Beside, I think I can take care of you being hugry real quickly.” With a slow smile, Ethan moves his hand underneath my shirt to my inner thigh, moving even higher.

My eyes widen. “No, that’s-“ I am cut off as Ethan climbs onto the table, his knees supporting him so that he is not sitting on me. I try to scoot backwards, annoyed at the cuffs.

“Ethan, please don’t…” I whimper, leaning back to keep him as far away from me as possible.

“Why don’t you tell me exactly what you don’t want me to do? Or maybe I know. You were rather specific earlier.” He suddenly grabs my head in his hands, his fingers running through my tangles as he draws my mouth towards his. Our lips meet, his tongue parting my lips and exploring my mouth. He kisses me so fast and hard that I can barely breathe, and he will not let me go. He releases me, letting me gasp for air as he pulls off my shirt. My eyes fill with tears.

“Ethan, please don’t do this again, please…” I say, my voice breaking as he runs his hands across my chest, softly stroking one moment, then roughly handling the next.

“Since when have you been on first name basis with me?” he asks in a raspy voice, his gaze leaving my body long enough to give me a glare. “Now shut up or I’ll make this hurt on purpose.”

I close my mouth for a moment, expecting to be unable to speak when he commands me to be quiet. Then a thought goes through my head, I can speak when I want to!

“Let me go! You can’t do this!” I grab his arms to try to stop him. My hand barely covers his forearm, not stopping anything.

Ethan stops to stare at me, my resistance shocking him, then forces me to lie down. He secures my arms in the cuffs on either side of my head.

“Why stop me? I’ve had you a couple times already. You’re no virgin anymore, there’s nothing you have to lose. You might as well stay still and enjoy it.” His blue eyes bore holes in my head as he stares at me, baring his fangs.

I shake my head wordlessly, tears streaming down my face. I feel so vulnerable and abused. Kyle was a saint compared to this guy. This is the only reason a man wants a woman. There is no such thing as happiness or love. My body trembles as I sob, my eyes forced shut.

“If only you’d learn to keep that mouth of yours shut, you’d be perfect. But we’ll fix that… in a couple of weeks, you’ll be just like those other girls. Doing exactly what I tell you, when I tell you. It won’t be hard at all.” He bares is fangs as he speaks, growling.

What is wrong with him? Why is he like this? Why does he act tender one second, playful the next, and then cruel? What have I done that has singled me out for him? There is no reason, nothing. I feel like I am going crazy. Suddenly, my head begins to feel fuzzy. Ethan looks distorted as I stare at him, my tears coming to a halt. I begin shaking and shivering uncontrollably. A whimper escapes my lips.

Ethan looks at me and frowns. “What are you doing now?”

“Ethan.” I whisper. “I feel funny.”

Ethan slides off me and jumps to the floor. He unlatches my arms and legs, picking me up. My skin cringes away from his touch.

“Don’t touch me.” I mumble. “Put me down.”

Ethan ignores me, the white room. Tears return and trickle down my cheeks. What if he is taking me somewhere to hurt me again? I’m still so sore.

“Please, not again, Ethan. It hurts.” I say hoarsely, struggling in his arms. My body feels heavy and everything around me is moving and swirling.

“Don’t talk. Close your eyes and try to sleep.” His voice is soft and tender.

My body gives in to his commands and I close my eyes and fall into a peaceful slumber


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235 Reviews


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Sun Jul 01, 2018 2:14 am
inktopus wrote a review...



Hey! Ink here to knock this outta the Green Room for Review Day, so let's get to it!

I haven't read the previous chapters of this, so I'll tend to stick to the writing itself and not anything that requires continuity.

Just from reading the first two sentences, I can already see that you have issues telling instead of showing. When you just tell the audience what your character is doing or feeling, it gets boring for the audience. I think this article can best explain what I'm trying to say: Show and Tell

I got curious about the name and gender of your MC )it isn't mentioned anywhere in this chapter), so I checked an earlier chapter and discovered she's a girl named Heather. My first question is why Heather would be so compliant to this Ethan guy?

“I remember falling asleep with…after…” I pause, a memory floating back to my mind of Ethan mumbling something in his sleep. The memory of his words makes my shiver.

“With me, yeah. Anything after that?” He begins to move his hand, gently stroking my stomach, and reaching closer to my lower regions. My breathing turns to short nervous breaths and my face burns in embarrassment. My mind starts to panic.

“No.” I gasp as he barely touches my thigh, teasingly.

“Nothing at all?”

Just look at this! Why is Heather reacting like this? She seems so resigned to it even though she has no memory of imprisonment before. What's her thought process? Why is she complying with whatever Ethan wants? We need to be more in your main character's head if this is going to succeed as a narrative. Heather currently has no agency, so you need to make her interesting to the audience. We can't think "What is she going to do next?" because she can't do anything. Because of this, you need to work twice as hard to make us care about her.

I'm going to be honest here; I really didn't like this. It reads like a torture fantasy, and while there is a market out there for that, I have some serious moral issues with it. There's also the fact that if you mean to market this as a mainstream novel, it's probably not going to be successful. I feel like there are two ways for this to go.

1) She's abused until she escapes (this is the slightly more interesting route)

2) She's abused until she finally breaks down (that makes this most definitely a torture fantasy)

I think you already know my problem with the second option, so I'm not going to explain that. The problem with the first option is that Heather doesn't seem all that concerned with escaping. She doesn't look for escape routes or try to think of ways to get free. She seems strangely at peace with the fact that she's been kidnapped. At most, she's just confused as to why she's there and what's happened to her.

If you have any questions, I'm happy to answer them for you!

~Ink




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Wed May 23, 2018 1:05 pm
KatjaDawn wrote a review...



Hey Murphy2943! I'm glad to see a new chapter up, I've been waiting pretty eagerly for your story to update! :)

I'm really excited that Ethan's characterization seems to contain more humanish aspects, despite his rather callous and unsympathetic nature. I hope we learn more about him soon and as Heather thought, "What is wrong with him? Why is he like this?"

I'm also really interested to learn more about why Ethan has created contraptions and serums, etc., to control others. Is there a purpose deeper than just because he can? Is there a reaosn deep down?

Overall, I really enjoy the slow tidbits of story progression in your chapters. You easily progress the story and your character's realistically without giving too much away too quickly, which would feel too much like forced exposition... Your story is like a slow simmer. I really enjoy it so far, however, It always leaves me waiting for the next chapter haha.

My suggestions/nitpicks:

I regain awareness and my stomach greats me by growling at me.
Should be "greets" and also, the wording seems off to me. Maybe, "greets me with a growl" but purely opinion based there.

I chill runs through me.

"A" chill runs through me"

I falter under his gaze, fear and nausea returning with his presence. I shallow. "

Did you mean swallow?

I force myself to be bold and ask him questions, trying to force myself to stop being afraid.

Repeating "force myself" doesn't sound right. Maybe, "I force myself to be bold by asking him questions, attempting to fight through the fear." Or even separating the sentence into two separate sentences at least.

the other on my bare thihg .

"thing"?

Other than those minor things, I really enjoyed this chapter. I mostly hope to learn more about why Heather is able to resist him right now and who this "Kyle" is and what exactly he has done. You're doing great so far, and this is a story I'm always looking for the next chapter of. You've got me hooked!

Keep Writing,

-Katja




Murphy2493 says...


Thanks so much for the suggestions! I try my best to proofread before submitting my work but I guess I missed some. I also want to apologize for the wait. My life got a bit crazy and I forgot about my story in the all the chaos. There is going to be a few chapter coming up that goes more in depth into Heathers past. There will also be a chapter that explains Ethan and why he is the way he is. But you'll have to stay tuned lol.


The thing with heather right now, and maybe I should have put this somewhere, is that she is in a constant battle with wanting so badly to be strong. I really want to put the emotions into what it's like to be in an abusive relationship. Wanting to be strong and say no and stand up for yourself but terrified of what the consequences will be.


I'm so glad you are hooked. I welcome any and all suggestions and pointers. Believe it or not this is my 4th time rewriting this story because I just haven't been happy with it till now and had to summon the courage to let people read it.


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KatjaDawn says...


As writers, I think we all fear having others read our work... I'm glad you are able to be happy with it enough to share it. I am enjoying it very much, and I can't wait till you write more. Glad my feedback was helpful! :)



Murphy2493 says...


Did you read chapter 8?


Random avatar
KatjaDawn says...


I admit that I accidentally skipped it when writing this review, but I realized and read it immediately after this chapter. Would you like me to review it? :D



Murphy2493 says...


I would never say no to a review




Courage, my soul! Now learn to wield the weight of thine immortal shield...
— Andrew Marvell