Chapter 4 - Deadly Encounters

by Murphy2493

Published December 12, 2017

18+ Language Violence Mature Content

In Dangerous Miracles

Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language, violence, and mature content.

Deadly Encounters

I jerk awake and blink my eyes open, trying to remember why I am on the floor. Then I remember that I am not on the floor, I am in a cage. I sit up, wondering how long I am going to be kept in here. Ethan said I need "time to think about it", but what is there to think about? Obeying him and being his little slave? There is no way I am ever going to do that willingly. What will he do to me if I do not obey him? Will he kill me? Maybe... Just maybe... Will he let me go? I doubt it.

I am in the cage for a long time. My stomach starts rumbling, but no one comes in to feed me. After a while it settles into a gnawing discomfort. Still no one comes. I grow very bored, but I am forced to think about what is going on. I want to escape from Ethan. What is he? Was he kidding when he said he ate people? He can fly. And there is something else about him that is not quite normal. I shiver. I have read about vampires, werewolves, all those mythical beings, but those are not real. Ethan does not look like any of those things. Could he be some sort of mutant like in X-Men or the comics? Is that even possible? Anything seems possible after everything that has happened to me since I was brought here.

I get up and rattle the bars of my cage and grunt in frustration. I wonder if my friends are worried about me. Do they even know? My landlord would know. He would care only if I did not pay my rent.

With a sigh, I lie down on the pillows. I am feeling very tired. It is probably evening. I close my eyes, hoping to fall asleep soon, but my stomach has other ideas. It is going to be a long night.

Another day and night passes with me being alone in the cage, feeling tired all the time and my muscles aching from lack of movement. A couple times I almost pass out from hunger. The only times I ever see anyone is when Grace or Chloe come to let me use the bathroom. Even then it is always very short and nobody says anything. I do my business and I am instantly back in my cage but I welcome the silent company and the ability to stretch. Grace sported new bruises. I feel bad because I was responsible for them.

Ethan returns. He grabs something off his dresser before glancing at me. He shoves whatever he is holding into the pocket of his dark jeans. I force myself to look at the floor instead of him.

"I almost forgot about you." He says, moving towards me.

I swallow, but because my mouth is so dry I cough.

"So... Are you ready to come out?" He asks casually, moving his hand between the bars. I back away, trying to keep him from touching me. He reaches in and pushes back a strand of my hair, his fingertips softly grazing my cheek. I glance up, my eyes pleading. I had told myself a million times that I would rather starve than even look at him, but now that he is here I cannot help but hope he will let me out. Ethan grins wickedly.

"I'll take that as a yes. One thing first, though." He pauses and eyes me, his gaze moving down my body in casual lust. I shudder under his study. He looks but into my eyes, holding me there with his crystal blue spheres. "You have to kiss me."

I give him a look of surprise. At least that is all he wants me to do.

"Not just a quick peck. I want you to go all out," he adds.

I scowl at him. Sick. But I am so hungry... My resolve breaks down and my shoulders slump. "Fine." I mutter, my head down.

In response he unlocks the door and helps me out. I am weak, but I manage to stand up in front of him, which only reminds me of his dominant size. I feel so vulnerable because, compared to him, my 5'7 appearance only brings me to his chest and my hands look like a child's hands if I put them next to his. I tilt my chin, having to look up to find his eyes. He is grinning. He moves so that I am pressed against his chest. I stand up on my tip toes as he leans towards me. I close my eyes as my lips touch his. I am tempted to stop, but he had said that I needed to go all out. He seems to mean what he says.

His lips are surprisingly warm and soft, I thought they were going to be just like him, cold. I press my mouth more firmly on his, part my lips and let the tip of my tongue touch his lips. He moans and fidgets, opening his mouth and allowing me access. My tongue probes his mouth for a moment or two before he responds. He kisses me back with so much force that I trip backwards. He holds me and follows me until my back is against the bars of my cage. He wraps his arms around my waist, barely pausing to breathe.

I find myself growing less and less resistant to him. Sometimes I forget how much of a monster he is, and kissing him like this makes it easier to forget. Those moments where he seems like he cares about me, I wonder what happened to make him so awful. Did his mother abandon him? Did his father abuse him?

He pulls back and blinks down at me. I breathe heavily, my face flushed. I cannot believe I enjoyed that! After everything he has done. A sick feeling grows in my gut. I allowed him to kiss me like that and I liked it. I groan. He tilts my chin up with two fingers and plants another quick kiss on my lips before backing away.

"You're a good kisser." He states. I stare at him with an air of misery. He smiles. "So... you’re hungry, right?"

I nod.

"Take a shower and whatever else you need to do, then I'll take you down to the kitchen." I move in a daze to the bathroom, quickly doing what I am told. When I step out, I am only in a towel because Ethan came in while I was showering and took my old clothes, not bothering to leave any new ones.

"Um, can I have something to wear... Master?" I ask, grimacing on the last word. I am too hungry to risk angering him. He smirks, staring down at my barely covered form. I shiver, not only is he making me feel uncomfortable, but his home is freezing. Would it kill him to get a heater? He seems to enjoy himself checking out my body.

"Hold on." He says, turning and grabbing something off a chair by the door. He had clothes for me this whole time. I glare at him. He wanted me to come out in a towel! I snatch the clothes from his hands and turn to go back into the bathroom, but he grabs my shoulder.

"Change out here." He commands. I stop and turn, my face aghast. With a shudder I look down at the clothes. They are not that bad: a mini jean skirt and a black tank top that is modest on top, but exposes half my midriff. Ethan watches me expectantly. I drop my towel, clutching my clothes to myself. He licks his lips. I slip the clothes on as quick as humanly possible, my cheeks bright red. When I am finished, Ethan looks back up to my face. "Nice," is all he says.

He takes my hand and roughly leads me across the room, slowing down just enough for me to barely keep up. He opens the door and pulls me outside into the hallway. We take a few steps before I hear a phone ring. Ethan lets go of my hand and fishes an iPhone out of his pocket. He casually swipes his finger across the screen and holds it to his ear.

“Yeah?” He says, looking away from me for a second. I back up slightly, temptation begging me to run down the hallway and out the door as fast as possible. So why am I not doing that? My stomach growls at me, reminding me of how weak I am and that running would look more like a crawl at this point. Besides, I have no idea where I would go if I made it outside.

“I’m sorta busy right now.” Ethan looks back at me, winking with a smirk like we are teenagers about to go do something naughty. I frown. He nudges the back of my leg with his shoe, pushing me forward. I take a hesitant step toward him so that I am almost right up against him. He looks away with an irritated look on his face. I could tell it was towards the person on the other line, but who knows who he would take his frustration out on. I pray it would not be me.

“Sure. Tonight.” He pauses with an incredulous expression. “That’s gonna cost you.” I watch him intently, curious about what they are talking about.

“Don’t even joke about that, man.” His face hardens. “I don’t give a ****! You don’t even know what she looks like!”

I am a little surprised at his outburst. The conversation seemed apathetic before. It makes me wonder what was said and why it bothered Ethan so much. Then again… maybe I do not want to know.

“Ok, whatever. See you tonight.” He pokes the screen and stuffs it back into his pocket before walking down the hallway again. I follow timidly, wondering who he is seeing tonight, and who the she was that they were talking about.

I follow him down the stairs, past the living room and through a pair of swinging doors that lead into the kitchen. Smells that make my mouth water waft around me, driving me almost delirious with hunger. There are several people, all working at various tasks. I glance around, intrigued at how focused these people are with their work. I look up at Ethan, who’s nose was wrinkled like the smell disgusted him. We stood there for a few minutes but with every second my stomach grew most impatient.

“Terri!” He yells over the clatter and all activity stops. Everyone turns and looks at Ethan with terror on their faces. A pretty young brunette woman with highlights in her hair hurries over. She has chocolate brown eyes and beautiful Latina skin. She dries her hands off on her apron and dips her head, fear evident in her posture.

“Yes, Sir?” She says, avoiding eye contact. I know it should not bother me, but my mind could not get over the fact that she did not have to call him Master.

“Give her some food. Whatever she wants. No one touches her. Got it?” Placing his hand on my back, he runs a finger through my hair. I flinch at his touch, gentle as it may seem.

“Yes, Sir.” Terri dips her head again and clasps her hands in front of herself. I watch, curious as to what this man could have done to make them fear him so much.

Ethan nods briskly and touches my head one last time. I cringe, but my mood brightens a bit after he leaves. As soon as he is gone, the kitchen springs back to life with clatter and busy people. I notice several glances directed my way and averted once they see me look at them. Other than that, I am ignored and isolated to the point where people make sure they are quite a few feet away from me when passing by, and when they cannot get through they take a completely different route. Terri rubs a hand across her face before looking back up at me, I give her a small smile.

“I always get stuck with the dangerous ones,” she moans.

“I’m not dangerous.” I tell her, my smile quickly replaced by an offended frown.

“Never mind. Follow me and do not touch anyone,” she says sternly. Why would I touch people I do not know? I think to myself, crossing my arms over my chest and following Terri to a counter that was furthest away from all the activity. Why is it so important that no one touches me? It is almost as if I am infected by some contagious disease that can kill them instantly. I sit on the bar stool that Terri is motioning my toward.

“What’dya want to eat?’ She asks, sounding like a waitress at a diner. “We have anything you want,” she adds, a proud smile creeps on her face.

I open my mouth, then close it. Does she really mean anything? I think for a minute, my stomach in awe of all the options I can think of. Finally, I make up my mind. “A chicken sandwich, a salad and a big cup of water.” My mouth waters at the thought of food. Terri smiles and nods, I notice there is a bit of a kick to her step that was not there before. Maybe she really wanted to get away from me before I turned her into a zombie.

I sit in my corner of the kitchen and look around, curiosity taking over now that I am alone and not stuck in that dark room. There are probably a dozen people working in the kitchen, only two of them being male. Maybe I will see Chloe and Grace here at some point. I still have so many questions about this place and escape options. One of the men stands close to my counter with his back toward me. He is dicing vegetables and is so focused on his work that he does not notice me at all. I reach over and tap him on the shoulder, completely forgetting that I am not to touch anyone because I am bored and desperate for someone to talk to. He turns to show me a very young face with the determination to help whoever needs it. Unless that person is me, because that kind, help filled face quickly turns panicked and afraid. He lets out a cry and silence takes over the kitchen.

I jump out of my chair. “What’s wrong?” I reach out to take his hand to reassure him that it is ok. That he does not need to be afraid. He pulls his hand back and shakes his head, tears springing to his terrified eyes that are so green they remind me of fresh leaves in the spring. Terri rushes over, her face as pale as a white bed sheet.

“I told you not to touch anyone!” She yells at me, panic prominent in her voice.

I pull my hand back like I have been stung by some invisible force. “I was only trying to- “

Terri cuts me off. “Just… be quiet.” She shoves a plate of the food I ordered at me, then takes the boy’s arm and hurries out of the kitchen.

I stand there staring at the door they went through, my body forgetting how to move. I am confused at what just happened and thrown back at how fast it happened. Why is everyone so afraid of me? I look at my food and sit back on my stool, hunger completely evaporated. I eat anyway because it has been a few days since I have eaten anything and if I am going to get out of here, I need as much strength as I can conjure. I tentatively take a sip of the water, then gulp down more. I take a huge bite of the sandwich, and after a few larger bites I have to force myself to take smaller ones. In that moment I forget about the boy and let myself enjoy my food and gain my strength back. When I finish my meal, I glance around the ghost quiet kitchen. A door swings open and Terri walks through with red, puffy eyes. Had she been crying? What the hell is going on?

“Terri-“I start off concerned.

“What?” Terri asks coldly, her eyes boring holes in my head. She looks like she would love to grab my hair and give me a few good punches.

I cringe. “What did I do? Why can’t I touch anyone?” I ask timidly.

Anger takes over Terri’s face. She takes a deep frustrated breath and yells, “You marked him! Ethan will kill him!”

I give her a confused look. “I what?”

Terri sighs and rubs her face with shaking hands, trying her best to be patient. “When Ethan comes back, he will smell Tyler’s scent on you. Ethan won’t care what happened, he will simply find Tyler and eat him.”

I stare at her with shock plastered on my face. Smell Tyler’s scent? Eat him? What exactly is Ethan? What the hell is going on here? I shake my head and stare at my hands as if they were the devil. “But... why?”

Terri answers harshly, like I am supposed to know this already. “Because you are his. He is insanely jealous of anyone who goes near you. It doesn’t matter if it was just an accidental contact. He always assumes the worst.” She turns on her heel and stalks away, wiping her eyes with her sleeve.

I sag in my chair feeling completely defeated. I did not mean to sign a death sentence for the guy. How the hell was I supposed to know? I should have listened to Terri, but I guess it is too late now. Now Tyler will die, and it is all because of me. I sit on my stool going through all the options. I cannot leave because Ethan will find me, and I do not think I would be able to run very fast right now. Maybe if I explain to him what happened? Maybe he will understand. Maybe he is not as bad as Terri says he is.

A moment later, Ethan returns, and the kitchen ceases all activity. I close my eyes, wishing with my whole being that I was anywhere but here. I would gladly go to a jail cell if it meant not being here. I sigh and stand, my legs wobbly. I take my time, careful not to touch anyone else. I stand in front of Ethan, my head down in guilt. He takes my arm with an ice-cold hand and leads me out of the kitchen.

Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
Shady
Review
Shady wrote a review Review · Jan 16, 2018

Hey Murphy!

Shady here with a review for you! I haven't read the previous chapters, but it looks like this work could use a bit of rescuing from the Green Room so I'm here to help ;)

Then I remember that I am not on the floor, I am in a cage.


Wow. That's an intense opening. The entire first paragraph, but this sentence in particular. It's very good -- it instantly sparked an interest in me to keep reading, even though I haven't read the first 3 chapters.

I am feeling very tired.


Several places in the beginning of the story you seem to tell rather than show us, which is recommended against in writing. This sentence in particular stood out to me. Rather than simply saying that she feels tired, try to describe what she feels like. I mean we all know what it feels like to be tired, but rather than making the reader try to imagine the heavy eyelids and wandering attention -- you describe to us how she's feeling.

He seems to enjoy himself checking out my body.


Here is another example of the telling rather than showing. Don't just tell us he seems to enjoy himself -- show it. Him cockily leaning back, leering, a smirk tugging at his lips as his eyes wander up and down her body. Going all in with descriptions helps really pull the reader into the scene and helps us to experience her discomfort.

curiosity taking over now that I am alone and not stuck in that dark room.


Okay, this is what I had been thinking earlier. If she was in a dark room, then how did she know that a night and a day had passed while she was in the cage? Maybe spend a bit more time at the beginning setting up the surroundings so we can imagine it better as we read.

Terri sighs and rubs her face with shaking hands, trying her best to be patient. “When Ethan comes back, he will smell Tyler’s scent on you. Ethan won’t care what happened, he will simply find Tyler and eat him.”


Okay, this bit confused me a bit. I haven't read the previous chapters so it might have been explained there, but it seems entirely impossible that a human would be able to smell another person's scent on someone (especially with such brief contact... it's not like they hung out or hugged or whatever).

If Ethan isn't a human then it's more feasible, but still seems a little far-fetched. I mean she's in a room surrounded by people -- surely a bit of their scent is getting on her just from occupying the same room. Couldn't she wash her hands to get rid of the scent? It just doesn't seem to make sense.

~ ~ ~

Wow! This was really good. You have a way of making the scene really intense and intriguing, even when I don't know the back story. It looks like some of the later chapters are also in the green room so I'll look at reviewing them later (if I have time... we will see) but right now I'm going to go through the first few chapters to get a better idea of what's going on here.

Keep writing!

~Shady 8)

User avatar
Panikos
Review
Panikos wrote a review Review · Jan 16, 2018

Hi, Murphy2493. Pan dropping in for a quick review. I haven't read the previous chapters, but this has been kicking around in the green room for a long time so I thought I'd pop in and do my best with it. I might actually go back and read the other parts, to be honest, because this has really roped me in.

I'm not going to go through nitpicks, because I think most of the issues with this piece are more recurrent. Instead, I'm going to focus this review on different areas - grammar, writing style, character and story - and give you my thoughts on how you handled each of them. Let's go!

Grammar

Your grammar is mostly fine, but I did notice that you make some common errors when punctuating dialogue. Let's take this bit:

"I almost forgot about you." He says, moving towards me.


You're making two particular mistakes here. Number one: you're closing the dialogue with a full stop. Number two: you've capitalised 'He'. Here's how it should look:

"I almost forgot about you," he says, moving towards me.

Dialogue should not be closed with a full stop if it's followed with some kind of reporting clause (i.e. 'he said', 'she said', 'Clair said' etc.) It can be closed with a comma, an exclamation mark or a question mark, but not a full stop. The only instance in which a full stop can close dialogue is if there is no speech verb attached to it. Compare these examples:

"Here, take these," Daniel said, holding the books out. - Here, you must close the dialogue with a comma, as it is followed by 'Daniel said'.

"Here, take these." Daniel held the books out. - Here, you must close the dialogue with a full stop, as it is not followed by any variant of 'Daniel said'.

Furthermore, the first word of a reporting clause should never be capitalised (unless, of course, it's a proper noun, as is the case with 'Daniel said'). Even when the dialogue closes with an exclamation mark or question mark, the reporting clause should still not have a capital letter. Here's some more examples:

"Don't go without me," she said.
"Don't go without me!" she called.
"Will you wait for me?" she asked.


All of these are correct. This is the formula you should try to follow.

It's quite a finicky set of rules to adjust to, but it's worth getting to grips with the conventions. Check out this great resource for a more in-depth explanation of dialogue rules. If you're still confused, feel free to ask me about it or look for more help online. There's lots of guides out there.

Also, another note. It isn't exactly grammar related, but I thought I'd stick it here anyway:

“I don’t give a ****! You don’t even know what she looks like!”


There's no point having a rating for language if you're going to censor all the swear words out. It's just unnecessary. The line will have a lot more impact if you let us hear the language candidly, anyway.

Writing Style

The main weaknesses of this piece probably lie in the writing style. Don't get me wrong; it's certainly not terrible, and it didn't stop me from getting drawn into the chapter. But it could be better. I feel like you write in quite methodical way; it's very 'I did this', 'I did that', 'I felt like this', 'I felt like that'. I don't get enough sense of tone from the narrator, which leads to rather flat, unemotional-sounding prose. Let's take this example from near the end:

I sag in my chair feeling completely defeated. I did not mean to sign a death sentence for the guy. How the hell was I supposed to know? I should have listened to Terri, but I guess it is too late now. Now Tyler will die, and it is all because of me. I sit on my stool going through all the options.


This bit just struck me as completely hollow. I don't get any sense of the narrator's guilt or horror at all. She's literally just been told that her careless actions have condemned someone to death, but she's describing everything in a very clinical, robotic way. It feels like she's going through the motions.

It's hard to actually come up with advice as to how to fix this, because I'm not completely sure what it is about the narration style that makes it feel this way. It may be because everything is quite on the nose; you don't delve much into the actual physical sensations of feeling defeated or feeling guilty. You tell us that she's 'completely defeated', but not what that defeat actually feels like. Is she sick to her stomach? Does she feel like she's trapped underwater? Like she can hardly breathe?

I don't know. I don't want to try and point you in the right direction when I'm not certain what the problem is. All I can suggest is that you take a look at how published authors write similar reactions, and how they capture a believable voice in first-person narration. I'd encourage you to check out some of David Mitchell's books, because he's absolutely brilliant at assuming different perspectives in his writing. I feel like most writers can learn a lot from him.

Characters

Okay, now let's move into more positive territory. Obviously I don't know the characters as well as I would if I'd read this from the beginning, but I was still drawn in by them. I sympathise with the narrator's plight. I haven't got a massive sense of personality from her because she's in quite a passive position at the moment, and it's usually active decisions that reveal personality the most. Nevertheless, the fact that she's willing to accept her situation and get on with things shows a grim kind of strength.

Ethan is definitely the most interesting character, in that horrible, creepy, perverted sort of way. He makes my skin crawl. I think you do a great job at making his power seem to absolute. I like the subtle ways that he exerts his authority, running his fingers through the narrator's hair and just gently touching her - to me, that's more unnerving than when he's forcing her to kiss him and such. Because it's gentle. It's innocuous and horribly threatening all at once.

Story

Like with the characters, I obviously don't know everything about the story, but as a self-contained unit, I think the chapter is really interesting. Novels where characters end up trapped in powerless situations always engage me, especially when the antagonists are as unnerving as Ethan is. I also liked the scene in the kitchen when the narrator is told not to touch anyone; I found that really intriguing, and the reveal of why nobody is allowed to touch her could be really chilling if you handled it right. At the minute, it's hampered by her rather robotic response, but the concept itself is good.

There are elements about the plot that bothered me. I didn't think the narrator's reaction to being forced to kiss Ethan was realistic. The girl's been trapped in a cage for days on end, she's starving, and this creep has basically told her 'let me assault you or I'll leave you here', yet she starts getting all hot under the collar when she kisses him? I don't buy it. Not to mention that it perpetuates the idea that sexual assault is fine if someone hot does it, because the victim won't be able to help but enjoy it. It just made me really uncomfortable. I felt like the horror of what Ethan was doing was diminished.

I also think you could do with giving the narrator a more valid reason to touch Tyler. At the minute, her reasoning is weak. Why couldn't she have called out to him to get his attention? I can't believe she'd forget the no-touching rule so quickly, no matter how bored or desperate she was; it's such a bizarre request that it would surely stick in the forefront of her mind.

If she called out to him first but he kept ignoring her, maybe she would grab him to try and make him look at her. If she was desperate for some kind of explanation, she might not give a damn about touching someone. I don't know. She just needs a stronger reason to grab him, because at the minute it just seems like a massively stupid move on her part.

Okay, I'm going to call the review here. Hopefully this was helpful. I apologise if I haven't taken some obvious parts of the plot into consideration. With novels, it's usually quite a good idea to put a note at the top summarising what's happened in the story so far; it helps reviewers to write helpful critiques even when they haven't read the whole story. Nevertheless, I do aim to go back and read the other chapters, because I am really interested in how the narrator ended up here and what exactly Ethan's deal is.

Keep writing! :D
~Pan

User avatar
Cyvain87
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Cyvain87 commented Comment · Dec 13, 2017

Absolutely amazing once more. The emotions are so vivid once more and the fear of Ethan makes the whole chapter full of such suspense! I honestly cannot wait for more, the story can't just end at this point. I will be watching out for chapter 4.

Sorry I meant chapter 5, should have checked that before I clicked post.



“Though lovers be lost, love shall not; And death shall have no dominion.”
— Dylan Thomas