Chapter 8 - Monsters of the Mind

Consciousness plays around in my mind, bringing reality to my attention. Th last thing I remember was being bitten by Julien, which seems to be enough to jolt me awake. Glancing around, I find myself on the floor behind the metal bars of my cage. Confusion sets in. Maybe it was all just a bad dream. I fold my arms over my chest. I am in a spaghetti strap, maroon nightgown that barely covers my form, exposing my skin to the cold room. I look over at the bed to see Ethan lying on it with the covers over his chest and his eyes closed.

Looking at him like this makes it hard to believe his is a monster. I can almost forget all the awful things he has done. His face seems to have transformed from mean and wicked to beautiful and innocent. He sleeps? I didn’t think demons slept. I prop my head in my hands and sit in silence, trying to remember the events of last night. I remember the dancing and that dreadful feline. My nose wrinkles at the memory of her licking my face. I remember the elf and Ethan getting angry. I remember the couch and Ethan ditching me for his buddies. Then there was Julien and the car and his teeth. I reach behind my neck to feel the marks he gave me. It is tender to the touch, an angry bruise. I’ve been bitten by a freaking vampire… I would never be able to tell anyone about this at home. I’d be put in the looney bin for sure. If I get home that is.

Movement from the bed captures my attention. Ethan stretches his arms. Corded muscles rippling beneath his skin. His tangled hair falls into his eyes as he absentmindedly glances around the room. I avert my gaze; tempted to close my eyes and pretend like I am still sleeping. I look down at my hands to see the bandage on my finger. I tug it off, remembering Lorelei’s words, letting it fall to the floor of my cage.

“It healed.” Ethan says, his voice so close to my head that it makes me jump. My startled eyes find his cold ones. He smirks, standing next to my cage. I glare at him, turning away from him and trying to appear unafraid. I’m sick of being scared. The club was the last straw!

“What? Upset, sweetie?” His tone is teasing, but it holds a hint of danger. Like the calm before the storm.

I ignore him. Fury taking over all my emotions and making it impossible to read the warning signs. Or is it that I just do not care?

He stays quiet for a minute. “Look at me, Heather.” His voice an annoyed tone.

Against my will, I turn my head and my eyes meet his face. I frown, trying to look away from those blue spheres. They capture me, forcing me to stay as I am and look right into to them. I surrender to their power, forgetting how much I hate their owner. I snap back and glower at him, clenching my fists.

He frowns. “I suppose you had a bad night, hm? Vampires can be nasty when they’re hungry. And judging by your neck they were starving.” He raises as brow.

“I wasn’t even awake, you sick son of a bitch!” I growl at him, knowing he meant to make me angry.

He pulls open the cage door and grabs my arm, pulling me out and letting me fall to the floor. I get up and stand with my knees slightly bent, trying to look as intimidating as I can. Then I look at his face and instantly regret my actions. His handsome features are now dark and menacing. I tremble at the sight of him and back away.

“Where do you get the nerve to mouth off to me? From your friends in the other room?” He barks, his form becoming more terrifying with ever step he makes.

I gulp, my fierce demeanor depleting but I cannot back down now. As scared as I am, I am done with being afraid. “I can if I want to!” I blurt out, my voice wavering.

His hand smacks the side of my face with unimaginable speed, propelling me backwards, hitting my back against the bars of my cage. I whimper, my face throbbing. Before I can move, his hand grabs my neck, lifting me into the air and choking me. I squirm, my mind going dizzy from lack of oxygen and the blow to my face. He throws me against the opposite wall, which I hit with a thud and let out a shriek. I crumple to the floor, the overwhelming pain makes hard to move, but as I see him move towards me again I put all my power to move away from his next blow. It comes from his foot. Even with no shoes on it still feels like a rock that throws me back against the wall. He grabs my hair and pulls me to my feet. My body goes limp but that does not stop him from landing a hard punch to my stomach and my side. I hear a snap and a stabbing pain envelope my body, the only sound that manages to escape my lips is a groan.

Finally, he releases me, and I collapse to the floor, tears flowing from my eyes but unable to make a sound. I curl up into a tight ball and cough, blood dripping to the floor. Just when I think the pain is over, a sudden sharp stabbing feeling washes over me. I let out a short cry before falling into the blackness once again.

I open my eyes and feel something soft under me. I am on my stomach with my cheek pressed into the silky comforter of Ethan’s bed. I shudder. With a groan, I sit up and notice I am naked. I look around for something to wear. I find nothing but the comforter and sigh, pulling it up to cover myself. Then it dawned on me. How am I moving? I just got the crap kick out of me. There is no way I should be mobile right now.

The door to the room opens and I turn my head to see Ethan stroll through wearing a pair of dark jeans and a ‘Led Zeppelin’ t-shirt. He glances over at me, raising a brow before going to his desk and sitting in front of a laptop, clicking several times before typing. His back is to me, so I watch him with idle curiosity. He looks so normal sitting there typing away. It’s rather strange to know he is completely insane.

I lie down and stare at the ceiling. My chest is tight, but I have run out of tears. All I can do is lie here and stay quiet. I bite my lip. I want to die. I hate this place and everything in it. The worst part is that I know I’m not being missed at home. My friends might, but they were never close enough to care. Except for Melanie. I squeeze my eyes shut and try my damnedest to ignore the ache in my chest, which only intensifies it. A single tear escapes from between my lids and slides down to my temple, landing in my hair.

The typing stops, and I shiver, keeping my eyes closed. The bed gives way as he sits on the edge. I freeze and stop breathing long enough to hold in a sob of fear, afraid that he will hit me for simply crying. Fighting with him proved to me that he could easily kill me. A cold hand brushes my cheek, wiping away another tear. My breath catches and my body trembles uncontrollably. He runs a hand through my caramel locks, making my nerves tighten. Then he pulls it away. There’s some catch. I just know it. Any second now he’ll hit me, or take me. I bite my tongue, not wanting to make a single sound, for fear of making him angry again.

The bed shifts again, and I hear rustling, but I stay completely still. There is a tug on the comforter and I feel a cool body roll over against mine. Strong arms wrap around me, pulling me close to his naked chest. My head fits just underneath his chin, as if it was made to go there. His callused fingers stroke my back and strands of my hair. I can feel his jeans against my legs, my toes barley reaching his ankles. Ethan lies there with me, just holding my shaking body.

“Shhh… It’s alright.” He whispers softly. That was all it took to break the chains containing my tears. I bury my face in his chest and cry. I never know what’s going to happen when he’s like this. It almost scares me more than when he beats me. I expect him to leave and ignore my sobs, but he stays there and strokes my back. Almost like he felt sorry for hurting me. Is this his human part Lorelei was talking about? I wish he would just pick one! After a while I cry myself to sleep with him still holding me and telling me it was going to be okay.

My inner clock told me I did not sleep very long, but it must have been long enough to put Ethan to sleep. I slowly open my eyes to find him still holding me, but not as tight as before. Once again, I am blown away at how peaceful he looks when he is asleep. For the moment I pretend he is not the monster I know him to be and study his face. His chest moves rhythmically, and his breath is warm on top of my head, softly rustling my hair. His long lashes brush against his cheeks and his lips curved into a cute smile. I remember those lips being on mine and smile. Then, I remember the words that come out of them a shudder.

I sigh inwardly and start to move away from him, but his tighten around me. My breath catches, and I freeze.

“Heather.” Ethan mumbles quietly in his slumber. I start to pull away again, convinced he is still sleeping, but his next words paralyze me.

“I love her.” He murmurs. My eyes widen, and I crane my neck to see if he is awake. His eyes are closed, and his chest still moves evenly as he sleeps. Is he talking about me?! There’s no way! He wouldn’t know the first thing about love! My stomach lurches as I consider the implication. I pull away from, careful not to wake him up.

Sliding off the bed, my feet do not make a sound as they touch the carpet. I quickly look around for something to wear, spotting Ethan’s discarded shirt on the floor. I pick it up, feeling a bit irritated that after what he just said this was my only option, and put it on. The shirt fits loosely over my petite body, hanging down to my mid-thigh. I cross my arms over my chest and glance at the bed, making sure he was still sleeping, before moving to the partially opened door and slipping through.

“I have to get out of that room; I have to get away from him!” I say out loud to myself as I clumsily walk down the hallway, my mind too confused to focus on where I am going. My thinking is fuzzy; I cannot seem to stick to a single thought. A scream bubbles in my throat, but I hold it in. I stub my toe on the corner of a night stand holding a vase and let out a squeak. Tears spring to life and blur my vision as I fall to the floor and clutch my foot. I squeeze my eyes shut, tilt my head back and rock back and forth. Anger and confusion flood my thoughts.

“I wanna go home! I wanna go home!” I repeat, barely audible through my sobs. I put my head in my hands and continue to mumble to myself, but my words change. “I wanna die. I wanna die.” My body trembles like a leaf as my emotions, pain and hunger overwhelmed my mind.

The floor behind me creaks as they approach. My mind is so busy I do not notice, still shaking, rocking and mumbling. Someone stands above me, but I do not acknowledge it. Each breath is enough for me to focus on. The person reaches down, but when the hand touches me, I lash out, kicking and screaming.

“Leave me alone! I wanna die! Go away!”

The hand retreats, leaving me alone. I calm down and go back to rocking and mumbling to myself, although the mumbling has turned to just sound exiting my mouth. A cold hand touches my face and pulls my hands away, then moves my chin to look up. My hair tumbles across my face and into my eyes. I continue mumbling, my eye wide now. I cannot control my words anymore and I feel as cold as ice. Chills race throughout my body.

“Damn, she’s burning up!” Ethan’s voice seems so far away that I can hardly hear him. His face is distorted and the face before me is not Ethan, but a horrible wolf-man with leering yellow eyes, protruding teeth, and drool dripping down his chin. I scream, my energy back and ready to fight against the monster before me. His hands are claws that look like they could tear me to pieces. He’s going to kill me! I strike out, hitting rock-hard flesh. My hands start to hurt, so I slide myself backwards to get away from the beast, but he is too fast, and I cannot get away. I scream and squeeze my eyes shut, curling into a ball and hoping it will go away.

Freezing hands grab me, lifting me up and carrying me like a doll. I open my eyes and watch in fascination as the hallway changes color and form. I am carried into a room just as everything changes to a nice shade of mauve. A giggle blurts out amongst my insane mumbling. Then I scream.

“Spiders! There’s spiders crawling on the walls!” I shriek, watching in horror as the walls swarm with creepy black spiders. I am placed onto something soft. I claw at myself and scratch my skin, drawing blood. “They’re on me!” I scream, feeling the small hairy legs skitter across my body. I cry out in fear, my voice beginning to break out in hysteria. Strong arms hold me down as I trash about, trying to get the spiders off. I do not even notice when a sharp point pierces my arm. Darkness clouds my vision and my breathing calms to short, tired gasps until finally let myself drown in the sweet bliss of nothing.