Blind - Prologue

*reads*
Umm... where excatly did I indicate that Melody is 2 years older?
Because... they're of the same age.

Wait, I have a question. For whatever reason, I read chapter one through twenty before I read the prologue, and I always thought they were the same age. Here, it says that Melody is two years older than Nathaniel. Aren't they in the same grade, too? I mean, I;m having mental difficulties today, so maybe it's just me. Anyway, just wondering.

It seems that many people have the misconception that I'm using 2 points of views.
I have actually, 4 points of views,
The number of POVs and the person can vary.

Wow... amazing!!! I cant wait to read your other works!!
I just had a few ideas for you here...

I noticed that when you chose to use the 2 person perspective, in Nathaniel's piece you ended up repeating one of the same lines ans Melody had in hers.


Melody: His mouth opened but was interrupted before he could speak. “Oy! Nathaniel come and look! Julian says he caught a froggy! Over here!” Our heads simultaneously adjusted to face a bunch of boys our age crouching in a circle over something; presumably the amphibian the boys seemed to find so fascinating.

Nathaniel: Uh-oh, she wasn't impressed. New tactic! But before I could speak, Damien called me. "Oy! Nathaniel come and look! Julian says he caught a froggy! Over here!”


I just dont think that you'll need to repeat every line in Nathaniel's piece that Melody has...--
You probably already know this... stupid me, haha...
Anyway... nice work you have here. Again, Im really excited to read the rest!! thank you.

Nice work there! is the entire story going to be told in the two views? that was a good introduction to both of the characters. I don't usually read romance, and I committed myself to reading a whole novel, just to read something different.

Thanks for the Review Merry_Haven,
but one extremlely important thing.
Do not call Nathaniel, Nathan.
Or you'll confuse him with another character.
*hint hint*

*Meep(:~

Here are some thoughts and comments when reading this prologue...

*They're just kids after all~
I have to say Meep, I smiled when I read this. And I'm being serious. Kids their age, are the most adventurous type of children. I remember being like that, always trying something new. But I have to say, my younger sister acts like Nathan. The whole tom-boy type of girl, and I mean I had friends, but I had that sort of Melody type. Hope that made sense.

*Just enough~
Usually when I read and review I always have to talk about there having to be more and more descriptions and emotions. But this part seem liked there was just enough of it. Not to little, not too much.

*Since you asked~
I do have my own speculations. I can kind of guess what's going to happen. But I won't tell.

*Overall~
I love their names. Sounds perfect for the grade they're in. Can't say much. Sorry, if this wasn't that helpful and more harsh (like nit-picking things). Well, I'll come for Chapter One sometime later today or tomorrow. Great Job!

*Merry

Hey there!
After so much replies I have nothing else to add... sadly, I won-t be much of a help to you...
Anyway, just wanted to say I still love your stories and I absolutely adore your vocabulary!
Keep writing [going to read the other chapters]!

Aww! That was so adorable! It takes me right back to fifth grade again, waiting on the sidelines for kickball. Hehe. Just thought I'd put in that I think it's super-cute too; all the nitpicks I found were above. Nice work, 10/10!

Hey Meep! Stella here and oh! this was adorable.

I. NITPICKS

And then there was that boy, the bane of my existence. How I wish that boy would die. I still remember all too clearly how I met him.

“Hey there,” Turning in the direction

"Hey there, you're Melody Keyes, right?" Pretend you're unsure of who she is. You don't want her thinking you're stalking her or something. Dang, she's got to be at least an inch taller than me.

They must have been blind. Granted, she did look a tad geeky, but I thought she was cute. Really cute. She nodded shyly in response to my question.

Whenever someone annoys me, a simple “go away” paired with my signature icy glare, would be sufficient to send him or her scampering off.
-cut the comma after 'glare' because it needn't be there.

What I liked about it is that the voice of the characters changed to show what they're like: Melody had a lot of complex vocabulary and Nathaniel seemed very simple compared to her. The complexity of Melody's personality is great because it shows that she is a bookworm.
Nathaniel seems more social-based, which is good, as they will balance each other out.

Great start!

SeleneForeverDream: The 'Cue the happy dance' wasn't sarcasm. Or is that what you call it... Its uhh...like an expression to convey her feelings of ecstasy that she's won't have to put up with Nathaniel anymore.
Cat_910: The 'once again' part signifies that she's the geeky kid she has been every other day. I think XD I'm really terrible at explanations.
Ashleylee: I did notice that they were a bit to mature for their 11-year-old selves, but there are cases of some kids being rather mature at times...I hope. Haha, and the Nathaniel is shorter than Melody. Someone hasn't hit puberty yet

All: Thanks for your comments! I'll work on it some more.
My second chapter is done! Or rather....chapter 1 is done.
Anyhow, this is just a flashback thing, the next time, we're fast forwarding into the present past. Meaning, brief parts of her freshman year,
But will focus more on sophomore, junior and senior year.
So anything before her sophomore year in high school is in the past really.
Merry Christmas to you all!

Hey, Meep! I haven't reviewed anything of yours in a while so this is my holiday gift to you hehe

Turning in the direction of the voice, I spotted a boy around my age sauntering towards me with his hands buried deep in his pant pockets. His face wore a little smirk while those beautiful emerald green eyes stared into my light green ones. He’s kinda cute.

Yay! *claps* Good job, Meep! I've been waiting and you give me something incredible.

Once again, I was the geeky, bespectacled little kid with two silly ponytails on each side of my head; The lone figure who would wistfully watch the other children play together in games she would never be included in.

Foolish girl! Why did you even let yourself think for a second, that anyone would want to be your friend? You were practically inviting yourself to be disappointed! Face it, you were labeled as an outcast ever since the start of junior high. Might as well get used to being alone, Mel.

Aw, this was an adorable prologue! This was a wonderful start to your story and I'll be looking forward to your next chapter!

Meep(: wrote: Whenever someone annoys me, a simple “go away” paired with my signature icy glare, would be sufficient to send him or her scampering off.

And then there was that boy, the bane of my existence. How I wish that boy would die. I still remember all too clearly how I met him.

I was eleven at the time and it was recess period. Once again, I was the geeky, bespectacled little kid with two silly ponytails on each side of my head; The lone figure who would wistfully watch the other children play together in games she would never be included in.

Mesmerised, I was observing a trio of bubbly, chatty blonde girls indulging in a game of hopscotch, completely neglecting the unfinished carton of apple juice in my hand.
This had me thinking about how these girls would grow and you gave me a good mental image of that. These girls would most likely grow to be the populars.

So what was the big deal about hopscotch? You wouldn’t know.

Ever tried playing it on your own? I did, once. You would find that playing hopscotch by yourself would be absolutely no fun, plus the other kids would stare at you like you’re weird. That was what I experienced.

“Hey there,” Turning in the direction of the voice, I spotted a boy around my age sauntering towards me with his hands buried deep in his pant pockets. His face wore a little smirk while those beautiful emerald green eyes stared into my light green ones. He’s kinda cute.

“You’re Melody Keyes, right?”

I nodded mutely, my heart thumping feverishly against my ribcage. Was there some one who would finally be my friend? I looked down at him shyly (he was shorter than me by an inch or so), anticipating his next words and bursting with hope.
What I like about this is that you can clearly see how all these people will grow. It's very relatable to people, like me, from another country. It's obvious that Nathaniel hasn't reached puberty yet.

It really was too good to be true.

“Huh.” Cocking an eyebrow at me, he snickered, “So what’s your middle name? Melody ‘Piano’ Keyes? HAHA!”

My eyebrows knitted together and I placed my hands on my hips. “No, it’s Petrina.” I replied curtly, my tone just barely managing to conceal the underlying disappointment and anger.

His mouth opened but was interrupted before he could speak. “Oy! Nathaniel come and look! Julian says he caught a froggy! Over here!” Where exactly is this taking place? Our heads simultaneously adjusted to face a bunch of boys our age crouching in a circle over something; presumably the amphibian the boys seemed to find so fascinating.

Nathaniel. So that was his name.

“Cool!” His face instantly lit up like a bulb and he prepared to take off, but paused as if he were deliberating over something. Unexpectedly, his hand shot out and yanked my right ponytail. “See you later, Piano!” With that, he darted off to meet his friends, waving at me and I caught a glimpse of his wide smile that revealed his missing two front teeth. I stuck my tongue out at him and a fat load of good that did. It made me feel a bit better. Not. Then he was gone.

I found a secluded area and sat down on an empty wooden bench, my eyes dropping to my lap. I squeezed the carton in my hand, not caring when its contents spilled onto the grass. My eyes moistened but no tears were shed, and I chided myself mentally.

Foolish girl! Why did you even let yourself think for a second, that anyone would want to be your friend? You were practically inviting yourself to be disappointed! Face it, you were labeled as an outcast ever since the start of junior high. Might as well get used to being alone, Mel.
Aw, that's so sad! Poor girl.

So that was it. I grew accustomed to the loneliness and sought comfort in books. That didn’t mean that I did not yearn for a friend.

That was my junior high school life in a nut shell. I was the perfect wallflower, the epitome of unpopular and nicknamed "Miss Morose". I wasn't really a soft spoken person, there just wasn't anyone to talk to.

With straight 'A's, I graduated from Velentia Elementary and moved onto Velentia High. The town I lived in was relatively small, and there were only two high schools there. Most students from Velentia Elementary went on to Velentia High, but a relatively big portion of students chose to enroll in Haverley Academy instead. One of those students, from what I heard around school, would be Nathaniel.

Cue the happy dance. Is this sarcasm?
***
Nathaniel

There she was, all by herself.

I did not understand why no one wanted to be her friend. I didn't have any coinciding classes with her, but she seemed nice.

Who was I kidding? Melody? Nice? She was beyond nice. She was amazing.

I first saw her when I was nine, but today, I would talk to her for the first time. But how to impress her?
These first few lines are so cute. They are in fifth grade and they have a little crush. This made me wonder why he likes her so much, because it is a mystery to me. Why would he act this serious if he is only 11?

Act cool. Make yourself look attractive. Do NOT show the teeth. I struck a confident pose and walked up to her, tousling my hair on the way.

"Hey there, you're Melody Keyes, right?" Pretend you're unsure of who she is. You don't want her thinking you're stalking her or something. Dang, she's got to be at least an inch taller than me.

She was leaning against a tree, her beautiful chocolate brown hair tied into two ponytails. Earlier that morning I heard some other kids making fun of how geeky she looked with her hairstyle and glasses. They must have been blind. Granted, she did look a tad geeky, but I thought she was cute. Really cute. She nodded shyly in response to my question.

Make her laugh, crack a joke. "Huh." I raised an eyebrow. "So what's your middle name? Melody 'Piano' Keyes? HAHA!" I laughed, hoping she would follow my lead and join me in the laughter.

She frowned, replying "No, it's Petrina."

Uh-oh, she wasn't impressed. New tactic! But before I could speak, Damien called me. "Oy! Nathaniel come and look! Julian says he caught a froggy! Over here!”

I couldn't help but be delighted at this piece of news. Give me a break, I'm a boy. Besides, frogs are kind of awesome.It seems that you are talking directly to the reader here. "Cool!" I exclaimed and prepared to run there, but at the same time I really wanted to talk to her longer. Impulsively, I yanked her ponytail and dashed off, waving at her. "See you later, Piano!" I smiled.

Shoot. I showed the teeth. This line had me laughing for a good few minutes.